Cancer man broken my heart again :(

Hey guys,

I could really do with some advice. I have known a cancer man for a couple of years now. We got on really well at first, he seemed lovely. Then over time he started to change, ignoring me more frequently and then if he did respond he was rude and distant completely different to how he started off. The whole time we have known each other he has always said to me how much he likes me but doesn't want a relationship due to personal reasons and a busy work schedule. Now after 2 years of insisting he doesn't want anything serious I now find out he has gone and got himself a girlfriend! 😢 He has known all this time how much I have liked him, and have always tried to be understanding of his reasons. This is not the first time he's done this either he ended up seeing someone and blocking me, eventually after a few months when things went wrong we got back in contact. I was hurt but as my feelings were so strong for him I was happy that he came back. Over the past few months though he had been cold and horrible towards me. We went from constantly texting all day everyday telling me how much he liked me to then telling me he just wanted to be friends. I never said I wanted a relationship but if that's how it turned out then I was happy to go with it and we both agreed to see how things go. When I have asked him why he is being off with me he'd always put it down to stress or being too busy and saying that he needed space. Towards the end when things started to get worse and after being attached for so long trying to resolve why he was being so distant with me I asked him if there was anyone else he would say that I was crazy to think there was. He wouldn't add me on any social networks either saying he didn't use it when he did. He would add other girls but never add me. I started to lose my patience things didn't seem right and I just wanted things to go back to how they were. After confronting him about his new relationship he has turned really nasty and told me not to contact him again and blocked me. How can he do this to me again? I just want to know what happened to the lovely guy I first started talking to? And why has he suddenly gone from not wanting anything serious to being in a relationship, why her and not me? I've never been so hurt and upset in my life and feel like I'm not good enough. Please help 😢

Posted by thinktoomuch
This man was never lovely. Not to you at least. Seems like it was all a bunch of bullshit. Sorry. Forget everything you thought you knew about him and read your post again and see how he really is.

Agreed!

He showed you who he really is- believe him the first time.

Let this one goooooooo

Yea either he hates you and you need to move on or it's not him it's you

The first sign of being rude and disrespectful should have been a clue. His azz would have been history at that very moment!! Your self esteem must be very low if you allow someone to treat you like that and you still want to have a relationship with them. In my opinion, it was time to move on 1.5 years ago. If you don't respect yourself, then no one will. I'm just trying to figure out what other trauma does he need to inflict on you before you get the hint? Virgo's usually have a little more pride than what you are displaying when it comes to their self respect. I'm really not trying to make you feel any worse, but Hun, as Geminigem stated, when he showed you his azz the first time, you should have known things would not get any better. Gather your faculties and move forward.

Is there more to your story here?

Posted by LIb4Life
Is there more to your story here?

When this first started to happen the inconsistent responses, disappearing then coming back I did tell him I didn't want to speak to him anymore and then he was asking me to give him a chance. I did try to cut it off before I got attached, but gave him a chance after he kept asking me. Then when he came back the second time I told him it would end up like this and he told me how it would be different this time and apologised for how he had been and stupidly I believed him. He was different for a little while then the same thing started to happen. When I started to stand up for myself he didn't like it. I wish I cut things off a long time ago but because I had feelings for him it was more difficult than I thought it would be.

Could've just said she can't see me trying to change so fick it I'll be the grimey person she thinks I am. Cancers don't beg for chances if they don't mean it. Or he can be playing you it's hard to tell. I think he wants you but you criticized him to a point he felt less of a person or attacked.

I have no idea 😢 I just don't understand why he kept telling me for 2 years he didn't want a relationship. Like why would he do that when for so long he insisted he didn't want one? There's me getting upset and hoping that one day maybe he'd change his mind with me. I feel like he used me, and I feel foolish for ever letting him into my life.

Posted by KsamCancer
He said he didn't want a relationship with you yet you continued to fantasize about being with him, and he's in the wrong? I'd say the bad one is you. How can you be upset with someone because they found someone else after telling you they don't want to be with you?

If he doesn't ask you out, you guys aren't in a relationship, aren't a thing, and you cannot get mad at him. He chose not to lead you on, good for him. Why you are surprised is beyond me, I mean the guy literally told you he doesn't want to be with you. ??\_(—)_/??

Oh right I see....maybe that is the case or maybe i just got the wrong idea because he kept telling me how much he liked me :S but I dunno. Guess it was never worth my time.

Posted by KsamCancer
He said he didn't want a relationship with you yet you continued to fantasize about being with him, and he's in the wrong? I'd say the bad one is you. How can you be upset with someone because they found someone else after telling you they don't want to be with you?

If he doesn't ask you out, you guys aren't in a relationship, aren't a thing, and you cannot get mad at him. He chose not to lead you on, good for him. Why you are surprised is beyond me, I mean the guy literally told you he doesn't want to be with you. ??\_(—)_/??

Oh right I see....maybe that is the case or maybe i just got the wrong idea because he kept telling me how much he liked me :S and saying how much he cared about me, but I dunno. Guess it was never worth my time.

I'm sorry that sucks. Mine also was on and off into me then not ready for a relationship, turns out hes still in love with his ex...tho nothing will ever come of it. Best to pack up nd move on despite the pain hon..