He's giving me mixed messages- I like him..

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PuraLeo
@PuraLeo
12 Years

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but how much is too much confusion with a Cancer Sun man?

It's been 2 months of him showing interest then backing off. And odd things, like inviting me to events with in his social circles and at one event he gets very assertive, then the next event he invites me to it was like it almost didn't matter if I was there or not. Is this on purpose?

He doesn't talk to me or touch me like a guy friend would, but I'm still mystified as to whether he wants to date or not??
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Este8
@Este8
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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If a guy sends mixed messages it means he's uncertain about his feelings for you or you could possibly be misreading his intent, which is only platonic. You gotta let go of expectations and see where things lead. If a guy's really into you, he'll make a move and let you know he digs you. Trust that. Many women waste an amazing amount of time on guys that aren't that into them. Maybe it's the challenge. Maybe you're caught in a cycle of wanting what you can't have because you can't have it. Whatever the motivation for your feelings, trust that a man who digs you will let you know. Wait for the man who digs you and who you dig. That's your best bet.
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PuraLeo
@PuraLeo
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 157 · Topics: 27
Why ask if I have a boyfriend? Get my number? Invite me to hang out with him every time he sees me, when have no connection other than living nearby to one another? We've hung out over 2 months now..

He's touched my behind(seemingly incidentally), held my hand, pinches my side when people aren't looking. Then acts distant. I'm dating other people, I'm not trying to create interest if there isn't any there..

How do Cancer men act when they're interested but doing the push-pull? What actions am I looking for? What do I do in response? Any help is really appreciated!!
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

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I don't believe in the one-size-fits all approach... "if a man likes you he will come and let you know". Not all men express themselves the same and I'm really sick of women telling other women advice like that. Especially single women.

This guy has interest in you... but Cancer men are not direct straight forward types of guys. "Hanging out" with you and observing you in different social situations maybe his way of getting to know how you operate. Most Cancers are observers first to decide if they want to move things along.

You are under observations and sometimes he may be in contemplation mode (aloof, but around) or affectionate, playful mode (when he's touching you and being flirty)

What you do is up to you.
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Este8
@Este8
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by shellshocker
I don't believe in the one-size-fits all approach... "if a man likes you he will come and let you know". Not all men express themselves the same and I'm really sick of women telling other women advice like that. Especially single women.

Shellshocker: I respect that you feel that way. I understand that other women have different experiences. I am speaking from mine and from the experiences of my girlfriends. Please don't judge a woman for being single. There are plenty of miserable women in relationships. I just held the hand of a woman whose been in a miserable marriage for many years. I got out of an long term unhappy and abusive relationship and am at a point in life where I realize what does & doesn't work for me. Furthermore it takes courage to leave and is not a mark of failure. It's from that place that I am speaking. If anything, single women probably have better insights into dating than longterm married partners because we have more current experiences.
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Este8

I appreciate your experience and I'm not judging you. It just seemed to me that your opinion came from a painful place that really didn't have much to do with the OP.. but more about your personal views. She was asking about Cancers and mixed messages.

I'm not a long term married person, nor do I think leaving a miserable marriage is a sign of weakness. I didn't say any of that stuff... you are presuming a lot.
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Este8
@Este8
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1355 · Topics: 6
Posted by shellshocker
Este8

I appreciate your experience and I'm not judging you. It just seemed to me that your opinion came from a painful place that really didn't have much to do with the OP.. but more about your personal views. She was asking about Cancers and mixed messages.

I'm not a long term married person, nor do I think leaving a miserable marriage is a sign of weakness. I didn't say any of that stuff... you are presuming a lot.



Sorry if I presumed and I appreciate you not coming down on my like a ton of bricks. Being single at 43 going on 44 is not easy and I feel like a failure. That's part of the reason why I know I'm not ready for love again. But really I'm just speaking from my own history and the history of my girlfriends. Yeah, sometimes mixed messages aren't a sign of real problems but crossed wires & misunderstandings. It's just the realest relationships I've had did flow alot more easily and the ones I agonized over did not. Anyway, just my take and thanks for your honest but kind response. I appreciate it.
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Posted by Este8
Posted by shellshocker
Este8

I appreciate your experience and I'm not judging you. It just seemed to me that your opinion came from a painful place that really didn't have much to do with the OP.. but more about your personal views. She was asking about Cancers and mixed messages.

I'm not a long term married person, nor do I think leaving a miserable marriage is a sign of weakness. I didn't say any of that stuff... you are presuming a lot.



Sorry if I presumed and I appreciate you not coming down on my like a ton of bricks. Being single at 43 going on 44 is not easy and I feel like a failure. That's part of the reason why I know I'm not ready for love again. But really I'm just speaking from my own history and the history of my girlfriends. Yeah, sometimes mixed messages aren't a sign of real problems but crossed wires & misunderstandings. It's just the realest relationships I've had did flow alot more easily and the ones I agonized over did not. Anyway, just my take and thanks for your honest but kind response. I appreciate it.
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