How do I tell my friend....? HELP.

Me being a cancer, I always try to go out of my way for friends and never stop to think to about myself. So here is the problem. My mom is moving out of the current apartment I am living in and therefore tomorrow 8/1, the apartment will officially be mine. A few months ago before knowing my moms moving date, I told a friend of mine that her and her daughter can come live with me because she doesn't make enough money to live in her own place. Now at this time, I didn't think about it thoroughly, until after I had already mentioned it to her.

Now I have decided that I am better off living alone; the rent is reasonable, and I can definitely do it alone. Unfortunately after thinking things through I realized that her and I living together is not a good idea. She has way too much drama for me; She is dealing with two men and neither of them know about each other, and there was once a huge conflict regarding that, and I just cannot have that kind of drama going on in my house, my comfort zone. She is also working at a job part time, and she doesn't make enough money to be able to pay half the rent and the utilities. Also, she is very jealous, and for some reason what is mine, she believes it's hers because we are friends. So I would rather not live with all that unnecessary drama, and who knows what else you know?

Now I know I should have thought about this before telling her she could stay with me, but now it's too late. I don't want to hurt her feelings. Should I tell her, and what should I tell her?

My advice would be to do the only thing you CAN do - which is to be as honest with your friend as you can. Explain to her that you VALUE her friendship, and that you are afraid that living together may damage the friendship. You could further explain to her the issues that may arise from such a situation - money, personal space, ect - and that you would hate to see such things damage your relationship.

I think that for most Cancer's (me, anyway) - home is our place of peace and solitute. I certainly wouldn't want / allow all that drama into mine.

We also have the tendancy to be "motherly" - sooo. . you might want to really evaluate your friendship with this person. It sounds like she might suck alot of energy out of you, and if that's the case - it's not a healty friendship. It sounds to me like this girl needs to get a full-time job, or get her butt back into school, and figure out her man-problems!! Don't be letting her suck YOU into HER problems! You are in a GREAT position to live and ENJOY life - a place of your very own - HOW EXCITING!! ENJOY!!! 🙂

lol GB, you're such a bull!

well it just so happened that the day I typed this post my friend sent me a text asking me what's up with us moving in together. So I basically told her that right now I would rather live alone, since I have always lived with a roommate. I want to experience things alone and perhaps enjoy it. Well of course she got upset, and she said that it's messed up that out of all people I have to think twice about her. I then said to her that all of my life I have put others before myself and now its time for me to do me, and be happy. So I haven't spoken to her since, so I guess that's the end of the friendship. And yes I feel bad, and I should not have gotten her hopes up. But I realize I cannot please everyone. It's my life and I have to be happy.

And unfortunately our friendship has always consist of me being there for her, helping her out. And when I needed her she was never there. And right now she is in a situation in which I felt she could have and still could control. She currently lives in a shelter. And the way she makes me feel as if I am suppose to take care of her, and take her out of that place. I had just moved back home (where I was born and raised), because I was living and working in another state. And when I started searching for employment, I sent out resume's for myself and her. It's like she expects me to do everything while she sits back and does nothing. And you are right cancerlove1975 she sucks out a lot of my energy. And when I am happy, she wants me to be sad and mad like her. And of course me being a cancer I feel so bad, but I have to do what's best for me. That's what really matters in the end.

It sounds like you made a VERY GOOD DECISION in standing up to her!! Kudos to you!!! 🙂

Thanks Cancerlove1975. I agree.

This post is not about my mom. It's about my friend. My mother moved into her own place and left the apartment to me. I just needed help in telling "my friend" that she could not move in with me. I have absolutely no problems with my mom, she is phenomenal. Sorry perhaps you should read my post again.

Yea after I spoke with her, she completely stop talking to me, so I guess our friendship is over.

Moon_eyes, the subject here is not about my mom. Its about my FRIEND.

LOL It's okay. I guess since I did mention my mom perhaps you thought it was about her. lol no.

Yea it is really sad, however I am glad that I finally let it all out and told her. Now I can breathe easier lol. I hate to hurt anyone's feelings but I believe it is now time for me to think about and what makes me happy ya know?