How do you handle the need for re-assurance

How do you cancers handle the need for constant re-assurance in a relationship? How do you get what you need, or do you? I have been dating a gemini (i know, i know) for about 3 months. We have an amazing connection and I am confidante he is into me ~ but I always want more— More of what I don't even freaking know.
I just wanted to get some thoughts on this. Also, I was married to a pieces for a bit and obviously they are way different in a relationship.

Thanks,
Jenna

Cluless ~ I think 'luck' is all I have on my side with this boy 😉 I just know he is gonna break my heart

sugaries - Better then being married for an eternity I guess :-)

My venus and mars are in gemini, does that help a bit??

What isn't he doing that makes you think he going to break your heart?

Is in constantly telling you he finds you beautiful and wants you in his life?
Does he make plans for you two to be together or try to see you as much as possible?

LunarMadian,

That is my problem ~ I just always want more. He is REALLY good about making sure I know where he is, what he is doing, that he misses me etc. We live an hour away from each other and to top it off he works 45 minutes in the wrong direction so mostly we are just weekends (plus I have a kid that he hasn't met yet). I know he changes plans as much as he can to be with me and we talk and text EVERY DAY. I have no reason reason to think he isn't into me. Maybe it is more then a cancer issue 😉 ha ha. But he does get a little distance at times and I know he likes his space. Sometimes when I go there for the weekend (fri-sunday) he will say (and you know they don't hint about it they just say it matter of factly) that he has stuff to do and I have to leave early ~ huh, as a cancer, that sucks because I want to spend ALL our free time with him (and we don't get much).



I think what is bothering me is I am already in love with him and I'm not sure he is there yet. One day he will be 100% we belong together blah blah ~ then he will just seem indifferent—

I think I understand where you are coming from.

It's a new relationship, 3 months. Simmer down now.
You just need to calm yourself, let it happen and get to know who he is as a man.
Just accept that you are developing these feelings, it's good and it's natural.
Everything will be alright, regardless of what direction it goes.


Do you have any hobbies or interests that can occupy your mind? Yoga? Quilting?

Thanks Lunar Maiden, yes I totally do! I run my own buis. have a kid, do yoga, go out with friends, all the cancer things to keep the mind busy. I just still over think and need more 😉 Like I said, he is pretty awesome, given me no reason to think other wise. Ugh, but sill my mind wanders 😉

Plus the fact that he is gemini scares the crude out of me!!

Perhaps you should look at the rest of his chart and put his Sun sign aside.

If you could help me analyze it and see if we are compatible, that would be awesome!

Here is me
Sun Cancer
Moon Libra
Mercury leo
Venus gemini
mars gemini
jupiter leo
saturn virgo
Uranus Scorpio
Neptune sagittarius
pluto libra
lilith leo
Asc node virgo


HIS
Sun gemini
moon virgo
mercury gemini
venus leo
mars aris
jupiter aries
saturn cancer
uranus libra
neptune sagittarius
pluto libra
lilith pisces
Asc node Sagittarius

You are an Air Crab with Gemini placements, this could be good.

You are going to need someone with more knowledge of charts.
Hopefully, someone can help you out soon.

I have to agree with CC, Air signs will not give you reassurance and I think that is what you are expecting. You are going to have to get used to talking and speaking your mind a lot because he may not have a clue as to what you are thinking and feeling. But then you run the risk of being called, "clingy," whinny," and "needy."

However, you know what they say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Like I said, give it time. Get to know him. I feel like I'm not getting through to you on this part. :/

Thanks ladies! Clueless, you kinda hit it there ~ I feel like something is missing, always!

Lunar, ha ha ~ ya, I tend to freaking rush EVERYTHING! I just hate not knowing where I stand, even though the 'logic' (so gemini) part of the relationship all points to going good 😉
I guess I will just have to ride it out! I seriously LOVE talking to him and we laugh from the second we get together until I leave.

Thanks again!

Wow!! How about dating someone that is totally into to you....like someone that is insecure as well....lol. That way you guys can suck up all the breathing space between you two.....lol. Ok Knock it off and get it together. You guys are just dating, you might not even like him later on once you get to know him better. Its better that your kid does not know him yet because mommy is not mentally stable. For all you know he could be a can of worms that you can later regret opening. Real men would get to know you from inside out, take you on dates,and at the right time offer to take you and your kid out to get to know the kid also. Some men like to date /court the women. Three months is too soon to be planning or wanting so much from this man. So I guess in six months total, there will be a wedding. ( smh )


I say let a man take his time to date you. Let him get to see your worth...instead of running around having weekend hook-ups like little teenaged kids....and then told to leave. Now that right ther... I would feel used. He makes plans than drop you because he wants to go out to play with the boys,or chase more skirts I might add. Do not chase men that are unavailable/unreliable. ( Dont chase men at all )

Idk just my .02. :p

^^^^^^ Awesome advice

OMG Piggytoo ~ I have totally seen the light since reading your amazing, heartfelt, thought out, caring advise!

I will point out that I was trying to get advise from fellow cancers, who some recognize this as part of their personality. It is typical for cancers to sometimes need re-assurance even in the best relationships. Granted it is a personality flaw but one I would rather over your ignorant, self righteous response to my question. My point was that this guy has been AMAZING, yet I still sometimes need re-assurance, especially when dealing with an air sign.

The fact that you take that as a major insecurity and not being 'mentally stable' shows your total and absolute ignorance to the most basic astrology read (which by the way, we are on an astrology board in case you missed that ~ which I wouldn't be surprised of.)

Again, Your advise is much appreciated! especially since you are not a cancer and did not answer the posted question at all ~ but instead projected your own insecurities, which you certainly must have.

IDK just my .02 ;p

THE NEED FOR RE-ASSURANCE, i BELEIVE, WAS THE #1 REASON ME AND MY MAN ARE ON A "BREAK" CURRENTLY.

Posted by jennablu
OMG Piggytoo ~ I have totally seen the light since reading your amazing, heartfelt, thought out, caring advise!

I will point out that I was trying to get advise from fellow cancers, who some recognize this as part of their personality. It is typical for cancers to sometimes need re-assurance even in the best relationships. Granted it is a personality flaw but one I would rather over your ignorant, self righteous response to my question. My point was that this guy has been AMAZING, yet I still sometimes need re-assurance, especially when dealing with an air sign.

The fact that you take that as a major insecurity and not being 'mentally stable' shows your total and absolute ignorance to the most basic astrology read (which by the way, we are on an astrology board in case you missed that ~ which I wouldn't be surprised of.)

Again, Your advise is much appreciated! especially since you are not a cancer and did not answer the posted question at all ~ but instead projected your own insecurities, which you certainly must have.

IDK just my .02 ;p

Oh wow!! I guess you told me...but I dont scare that easy. It is true that I am not a cancer, but in any case I will answer to whatever post on whatever forum that I choose. This forum is open to everyone. And if you dont like what someone has to say....then use the block button...it works. You can say whatever you choose to about me....I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!! Oh and I cant wait to read what happens next.


I WILL NEVER LEAVE THE CANCER FORUM!!


There are actually a lot of people that I like around here 😉


Okay carry on

I feel reassured when he is consistent in what he says and does. If there are changes or erratic behavior then I withdraw, and will have to find out what caused it.