How does this cancer guy do it...........

Hi all!

I posted a couple of weeks back about a Cancer guy I met recently and was fond of. Here's the thing.....I don't ever remember a guy making me feel like this since high school!

I get all shy and stupid when I'm around him but am normally very confident and strong. I have A LOT of trouble relaxing when I'm around this guy, especially just us, because I feel very anxious. It's almost like he is looking right through me. I don't know how he does this and if this is typical of Cancer guys and just how they naturally are. I'm not sure if it matters but his birthday is July 1st.

Any ideas on how I can learn to relax around this guy? It's like I feel I need to disarm him! He's dangerous! I get the idea he's enjoying his new found "singleness" and might just be playing me. He has said flat out he is interested but in what is the question to be answered. He seems genuine but maybe this is a Cancer's ability to.

Would love to hear any advice and thoughts.

Posted by crzydiam63
It's almost like he is looking right through me. I don't know how he does this and if this is typical of Cancer guys and just how they naturally are.

hahaha! yes, it's a natural Cancer trait. creepy, huh?

Thanks Mermaid, sorry to hear yours didn't work out. Personally, I'm knew to this "emotional" man thing. Don't really understand it yet!

Shellshocker, yes, that it putting it mildly. It makes me very uncomfortable!

@crzydiam63
What is your sign—
welcome to the world of Crabs! they are marvelous!!🙂 (but time consuming!!!)

Hi PiscesArgie-

I'm a Capricorn 🙂

It's funny, yesterday, I was suppose to stop by his house to pick up something and I asked about the details about when because I knew he had plans for the weekend. I ask when and he said "home now, out later". How the heck is that an answer?! Well, I had responded to his text saying I need specifics! What time, etc. I was RIGHT after that reading your post about if they same "I'm home" it means "I want to see you." Well, before he could respond I sent another text saying I'd be leaving in 10 min. He said ok, see you soon. It was funny - he was being so indirect when it came to letting me know what I needed to do and your post answered it for me! Perfect timing..thanks!

Do these guys have a tendency to reach out to you when they are thinking about you? Will you know it usually? I don't know what it's like to be acquainted with the emotional type. He's such a cutie and what is bothering me is I think he knows it. 😢

Yes, when they are thinking about you they will contact you...leave all channels open, they like somebody who is available, they hate it when you play hard to get....
At the beginning the indirect thing is CRAZY....remember it is connected with fear of rejection, they prefer you to initiate because in that way they are sure that you WANT to see them..
Then you begin to read them more easily and understand their ways..
Just dont be pushy..you may scare him away ...
Good luck, let us know how things are developing!

Aw, sweet crabbies, they're lovely men! have fun - enjoy the emotional side because you'll get it a lot. It's a whole mixed bag of up and down, never knowing wtf and lots of heart warming moments.

They're absolute sweethearts.

I'm a libra woman that is having a hard time with a crabby man. I totally gave up on him because I couldn't deal with all the BS. But I do wish u good luck and enjoy.

Posted by PiscesArgie
Y
At the beginning the indirect thing is CRAZY....remember it is connected with fear of rejection, they prefer you to initiate because in that way they are sure that you WANT to see them..

I kind of agree... but only kinda. I know that I value connection to the man I love. I expect him to be interested, and love me enough to know that I need him emotionally, I need to be close to him. Isn't that silly? Communication right? But we want you to connect with us, and give us what we need. Even though it's irrational to expect someone to read your mind, it's what we crave. Remember, there is nothing better than physically touching bodies with someone you love. Not as in sex, but bodies whether it be tummy to tummy, holding, or hugging. It's like you can feel who they are. It's an intense connection, and it trumps any words you can say. It can make us feel safe, it can give a sort of insight. You can also feel if someone's being dishonest, or are just bad people. That's a Cancer...weird, yes I am! I don't know about the men, but that's how I feel as a woman.

Perception does seem to be something they have lots of!

And I've figured something out. I think the reason this Cancer guy is able to rattle me so much is he calls me out and makes me think. I'm your typical Capricorn, reserved and cautious, and he is calls me on my BS. Not BS like in being dishonest it's like he sees through my front...that one I put on to the world. No one ever does that.

Posted by crzydiam63
Perception does seem to be something they have lots of!

And I've figured something out. I think the reason this Cancer guy is able to rattle me so much is he calls me out and makes me think. I'm your typical Capricorn, reserved and cautious, and he is calls me on my BS. Not BS like in being dishonest it's like he sees through my front...that one I put on to the world. No one ever does that.

yes, they are VERY PERCEPTIVE.
Well, all water signs are.
You cant lie to him, or manipulate him, he will see through all that.
They sense all.
Just be yourself...if you feel uncomfortable with all the initiating maybe it is not for you.
In my case it didnt take me long to figure what he wanted..we have a special undesrtanding sometimes with no words.
But yes, indeed, you need PATIENCE and having space...he wants you to undestand him and accept him for what he is..

Yes Moonbunny, very true. I have to work really hard not to appear cold and he's called me demanding. I'm the one that should be a Crab since my shell is so thick. I really hide behind it because it's myself that's soft in the middle. Emotions? Another reason I should be a Crab.

PicesArgie - I've checked out your pics - is that you with your man? I hope so, such a sweet looking couple 🙂

I'm still waiting on a response to a text from last night from my Crab. I think he might be upset I didn't make myself available to him on Friday night. Are they the disappearing type? I really don't know what to do with this guy! I'm going out of my comfort zone to just text him to let him know I'm thinking about him. Then when you get no answer to that......ugh!.....I'm not sure I'm up for this, haha.

PicesArgie - I've checked out your pics - is that you with your man? I hope so, such a sweet looking couple


THANKS DEAR, YES THAT IS BOTH THE FISH AND THE CRAB TOGETHER 🙂

"I'm still waiting on a response to a text from last night from my Crab. I think he might be upset I didn't make myself available to him on Friday night. Are they the disappearing type? I really don't know what to do with this guy! I'm going out of my comfort zone to just text him to let him know I'm thinking about him. Then when you get no answer to that......ugh!.....I'm not sure I'm up for this, haha."

Yes they can disappear,specially if they are not sure or if they want to analyze what is going on. But if they care, they will keep in touch..My Crab does go into his shell but he contacts me anyway. The longest without knowing about him were two days. We manage to keep in touch just to show we care, I also disappear, I swim away and make myself unavailable.

It is really an emotional rollercoaster , dont be fooled, but maybe you, as a Capri, wont have such a hard time with it, you are not sooo sensitive! yes it may be confusing and you will not understand his ways but if you feel he is worth it, then please try...be patient, take your time, dont give up so easily on him.

Cancers test people, they want to know how far you will tolerate or go to be with him, that is the way they have to discard who is worth it and who isnt, somebody who wont stand their moods, well, why bother, they wont INVEST time and feelings on you if they feel there is nothing to gain or if they feel they wont be undesrtood and ACCEPTED as they are.

So they just disappear, take you to the limits to see if you REALLY CARE about them. If you dont, they lose nothing, because they havent invested anything. If they see you hanging on, they will start opening up...LITTLE BY LITTLE.

It seems Crabs, specially those who have been hurt in the past, fear THE WORST and expect THE WORST. Specially is something is TOO GOOD. They will try to find a mistake, a flaw...they ARE SO DISTRUSTFUL.
They will think at the beginning that you are trying to please them but once you get to know the REAL them, you will run away..
This is why they are so cautious.

So , if you have a feeling he could be worth it, then hang on, and turn to us here for help when you dont understand his ways... 🙂

PiscesArgie, yes what a sweet looking couple. 🙂

After several contacts from him on Friday to get me to come back to his house (I didn't)after he had to run out for an errand (which he tried to put off but was obligated to someone) Honestly, I thought all he wanted was sex because I've made the mistake of yielding to his charms. And, I just didn't want to run over there and set that as a standard. I want to get to know him in other ways as well.

I texted him the next night about 7pm just saying I was thinking about him. I told him that could be a dangerous thing(because it is, haha ) and that I hoped his weekend was going well. Nothing since Saturday night! I've laid low, haven't sent anything else.

So, that all happened last week after him thinking I was disinterested. You see, I emailed him telling him I was interested but got the feeling he wasn't he said to the contrary that he was. He said he thought his only hope was me coming back over to his house for poker. That is where we met about 3 weeks back. Now I'm wondering if there is a game this week if I should go. I'm thinking yes but who knows what I'll get after listening to the hot cold speak on here. Guess I should be prepared but I really just want to know if he even wants to see me. I guess I have no real reason to think otherwise and should stop thinking soooo much like a woman. Unfortunately I am very sensitive although a Capri.

I hate not being able to get a man off my mind. Drives me crazy in the worst way!

Well, I've read all the info on hear and now feel I've been dooped. It makes me so angry at myself to because it's like once every 2 years if I'm lucky I'll find someone that I'm the least bit interested in. Then I screw up and start to think there is hope and bayam... Right in the kisser... I mean heart. Either this guy is really slow or is not interested and think it's the latter. I'll post a party invite if he proves me wrong but I better not hold my breath or I may suffocate. Man how could I have been sooooo gullible

Me either Mermaid but for some reason I'm going way outside my comfort zone here as compared to other situations in my past. That makes it more difficult for me. You know you do what you know you should do which is share how you feel but don't get that feedback you expect.

What the heck is the difference in ignoring, blowing off, disappearing, needing space and all that stuff? It's it all the same, someone not paying attention to you regardless of the reason? How on earth is one to know the why behind it? Of course we all think the worst which is they don't care.

Piscesargie - how do you nicely ask a guy why he's ignoring you?

You said that it's worth sticking with it if you really care......I know I really care about who I think this person is but yet to really KNOW he is what I think he is. Just haven't had enough time together and like others say, it's hard to find that reason or make it happen!

I want some Crabby Meat!

@crzydiam63

Dear, it is complicated with Crabs. My story started a little differently than yours but I have been there and I have suffered the "ignoring"...
We work out at the same gym. He saw me last year with my previous boyfriend (a Gem). I split with my ex and stopped going to the gym for some months. Then I re started in January and he was there. I never flirted with him though I always thought he looked great. The ocassional look but not much more. One day we started talking and we exchanged messenger, we continued chatting and flirting. Finally we went out.
At the very beginning he was flirty, he made comments such as "lets get married now" and things like that...We saw each other a lot, almost every day.
Then as time passed he changed a lot, he became more cautious with what he said and he measured himself and controlled himself much more.
I faced him and asked him what was going on, and what he wanted. He was still showing interest and all but in a different way. he told me that he wasnt expecting to start a relationship when we started dating, just a few dates, and when he found that he was falling for me he just couldnt help becoming more cautious. I understand he has been hurt in the past and is very distrusftul.
Well so now whatever he says about the future he doesnt say it lightly!
When they become withdrawn is when they are interested, when they are all flirty , probabilities are they feel nothing for you.

So, it is hard to grasp , isnt it?

I wouldnt ask him why he is ignoring you at this stage, it is a very personal question for a Crab..just go along with the situation and "be patient", this is the best advice I can give you, just let time pass without fretting, if you are too eager HE WILL NOTICE THAT AND RUN AWAY, they sense ALL.
Just try to relax and show your best happy self.
Crabs love is not a flame, is like an oven which starts heating up little by little. The more time they spend with you, they more they get attached, the more they love you and the more beautiful they see you.
It is their style , they go slow, yeah it is painful for us to wait.
But their slowness also filters out the people who are worth keeping and who will stick with them. And if you prove you can stick with them and are loyal and understanding they will devote themselves being loyal and protective of you...

PiscesArgie, haha, I'll keep trying to chuckle as hard as that is. It really does help you know. Reading what everyone has to say and knowing you're not the only one wanting advice from complete and total strangers because you know they'll give it to you straight. Since most of us can't do that for ourselves it's kinda cool we have each other as support, entertainment and guidance, right? 🙂

I'm pretty much a home body most of the time, so it's easy to pick up the laptop here and there. Usually those here are struggling to understand or help others do so. Although I'm sure there are some sadist here trying to torment people that may need help. That was a joke, but really, it could happen right and probably does?! Eeeek.

About your flirty comment, when I'm not with him he's quiet and withdrawn (short text and I mean very short) but when I have been with him he's been the most seemingly genuine guy and as you say flirty, I mean very flirty. Those long eyelashes darn it!!!!!! I feel like, when I'm out of site I'm out of mind if that makes sense.

How many of you seeing or interested in a Cancer feel like you know where you stand? If they say they are interested do they more than likely mean it or are they going with the emotional flow? Hmmmmm.......was it Mr. Crabby that said something like that's was just a moment in time?

Posted by Let*It*Be
"hahaha! yes, it's a natural Cancer trait. creepy, huh?"


Until a Scorp does it back with an intensity that results in the crab taking shell cover...

ah yes, scorpios are just as capable. I'm a cancer and my mom is a scorpio and I know it when she's trying to look into me to figure something out. The times she does it I immediately spot it and call her out and ask her what she's curious to find out. She tries to deny it but walks off knowing I'm just as perceptive as she is. Its a good feeling to know I share that in common with my mom...versus all the headaches I go thru with my leo sun virgo moon dad