paries
@paries
14 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 247 · Topics: 22
How to Handle Cancer Male's Withdrawal?
Posted by iwin32
He opened up to you and now feels vulnerable, so give him time, but let him know that you'll be there for him and you'll wait the time he needs. Once he digest all that shit, he come back and look for you like if nothing happened.
So how do I let him know now that I'll be there for him? Do I text or call? What do I say? When I left a voice message before he left on his trip I told him that he knows where to find me if he wants to talk. My plan at that time was to leave it at that and leave the next move to him. (Truth is, I won't wait forever).
Posted by FireGemgirlPosted by paries
Damn,you are patient!!I can't tell you what to do,I know I'd probably blow up his phone,break up with him 10 times,and maybe even slash his tires,heheheheh😄
But that's just me,crazy Gem/Leo girl!
What sign are you?Probably continue being so patient and hopefully wait for him to come out of that moody stage.Maybe continue to reassure him in a sense to keep giving him that loving,but not demanding,emotional support.Good luck🙂click to expand
I am unusually patient. That actually came up in conversation on our first date! I know he took a big risk in opening up to me. And as far as what I've read, he's been a lot more open with me about his insecurities, stresses, worries, faults, etc. than most Cancers. (And way more open than I've been with him about mine). But my patience only goes so far. I really didn't expect him to hide away for such a long time.
I'm a fire sign. But I've evolved with age 🙂. Several years ago I dated a Cancer for three months and when he disappeared on me for a week I promptly broke up with him via voicemail. (But that was also a more casual relationship than this one).
Posted by piranhaparadiisePosted by paries
It's been 2 weeks since we saw/spoke to one another and a week and a half since he said he'd call in a few days. What do I do now?
It takes less then a minute to send a message to you...
If a guy/girl cares enough they are not going to let you be hanging waiting for a mere text/msg to you...
How hard is it for someone to show an ounce of care towards you ? So he is able to go on some trip to walk talk ...eat shit etc but not able to press a few buttons and acknowledge you and show a bit of care your way —
Too many women let men behave like this give them so much space ...yet these men keep ignoring always...
Sure he's depressed/stressed but why ignore you so you also become stressed...kinda uncaring and plain rude...not someone that shows he cares at all...
click to expand
I agree. Both being a Cancer and having been in a LTR with one, this is beyond right for us Cancers. The only time it would make sense was if it were family or friends, never a lover. This guy is beyond depressed, or he's in a transition of figuring out life so much that also includes you. You need to put your foot down, for yourself. The only time the ex did this to me was when he was no longer interested in us..of course this was in the beginning, but it was exactly what he did to me too. I took the bull by the horns and ended it. Four months later, I heard from him. Your call.
I ended up calling him and he picked up. Mostly he withdrew because of all the stresses he mentioned. But it turns out that he also had some issues with me that he never mentioned before. For example, I got into a bad mood one day and got sulky for a couple of hours (which put him off). I apologized the same day but he didn't feel that my apology was sincere because I text messaged the apology rather than call. He also complained that I don't easily show or share my emotions (good or bad) so he rarely knows what I'm thinking or feeling (about him and pretty much anything else). I can't dispute this.
We talked it out. We discussed how everyone has faults and we both handle issues in ways that are not always mature or productive. I told him that I will try to be more open and he apologized for hurting me. He initiated plans to see each other at the end of the week. And we'll see. I'm at a point where on the one hand I do want to work things out because there are so many things that attract me to him. But in the back of my mind I do question whether or not we're right for each other. (And I think he's questioning this too).
Thanks to those who responded 🙂
We talked it out. We discussed how everyone has faults and we both handle issues in ways that are not always mature or productive. I told him that I will try to be more open and he apologized for hurting me. He initiated plans to see each other at the end of the week. And we'll see. I'm at a point where on the one hand I do want to work things out because there are so many things that attract me to him. But in the back of my mind I do question whether or not we're right for each other. (And I think he's questioning this too).
Thanks to those who responded 🙂
Glad to hear you called him! Now you know what is going on AND like you said too, it's making you look at things closer as well. Hopefully this experience will keep the lines of communication open now, and again should he do this in the future to this extent you must put your foot down, and stand up for yourself like you did by calling him. Best of luck!
Posted by crabcakesandmayo
He is not into you anymore.
We're actually still together and better than ever.
That's awesome. Please share more of your experience.
Posted by Leo1970
That's awesome. Please share more of your experience.
Well, the bottom line is that we made a decision to continuously communicate with each other openly and to be more accepting/understanding of our quirks and differences. Also, if one behaves in a manner that is unacceptable to the other, we immediately talk about it and discuss how it makes us feel. Sometimes one has to nudge the other to open up and talk - but we always do. We don't let things fester. And we continue to love each other - even during those times that we might not be feeling it so much.
It's not always easy though. He is a cancer through and through. Unreal mood swings. When his mood is good - he's amazingly good. But when his mood is bad - he can be horrid.
heyyy not sure if u're still using this site or not
How's everything with your cancer guy??
i also have similar situation to you
i've been getting to kno him for 4 months now (since late october)
had been txt with him a month till i got to see him in december
since then we had been seeing each other at least once a week.. it's great! ^^
we're not in relationship yet.. (intimate but no sex)
he's so cute and sweet ..i can feel that he likes me coz he's jealous of my guy friends lol
and interested to what im doing each day..
i thought everything's doing great.. i thought we could be exclusive soon.. BUT
then on late january he has very serious issue at work (from the story i heard from him,
he pretty much gave me some insight info) it felt great that he open up to me
i said that i understand him and feel free to talk to me.. altho this issue makes him
moody pretty much all the time (severe one.. might take awhile to be good again)
so i kinda feel down too.. at first i tried to do something else
that will help him stop thinking bout it... however it seems like he gradually shuts me out :O
after that he's being less.. no phone call, less text..(i have to be the one who starts conversation
first lately which i felt that something is not right... coz bfor this he usually contacts me first)
so i asked him whether i bother him or not, and should i leave. he said it's fine we can still talk.
it jus he has a lot of things to think and such...
anyway still.. turns on silent mode on me completly on late feb (he ignored my txt! damn!)
so i didnt txt/call him too.. coz i dont wanna be needy! coz we're not an item yet!
But what should i do? i like him.. still thinking bout him all the time ((sigh)) i want it to work it out >.
How's everything with your cancer guy??
i also have similar situation to you
i've been getting to kno him for 4 months now (since late october)
had been txt with him a month till i got to see him in december
since then we had been seeing each other at least once a week.. it's great! ^^
we're not in relationship yet.. (intimate but no sex)
he's so cute and sweet ..i can feel that he likes me coz he's jealous of my guy friends lol
and interested to what im doing each day..
i thought everything's doing great.. i thought we could be exclusive soon.. BUT
then on late january he has very serious issue at work (from the story i heard from him,
he pretty much gave me some insight info) it felt great that he open up to me
i said that i understand him and feel free to talk to me.. altho this issue makes him
moody pretty much all the time (severe one.. might take awhile to be good again)
so i kinda feel down too.. at first i tried to do something else
that will help him stop thinking bout it... however it seems like he gradually shuts me out :O
after that he's being less.. no phone call, less text..(i have to be the one who starts conversation
first lately which i felt that something is not right... coz bfor this he usually contacts me first)
so i asked him whether i bother him or not, and should i leave. he said it's fine we can still talk.
it jus he has a lot of things to think and such...
anyway still.. turns on silent mode on me completly on late feb (he ignored my txt! damn!)
so i didnt txt/call him too.. coz i dont wanna be needy! coz we're not an item yet!
But what should i do? i like him.. still thinking bout him all the time ((sigh)) i want it to work it out >.
criulob9pri - I've been going through kinda the same thing too within the same time frame. Jan is when I had to end things bc I couldn't take the bull. He's still emotionally draining til this day. Just move on and let go. That's what I'm trying to do. I think you've been patient long enough. Don't turn into a door mat.
Im sorry but i wouldnt accept that.
if a man cuts off i shut the door behind him.
Scorpio venus most probably why i do that.
if a man cuts off i shut the door behind him.
Scorpio venus most probably why i do that.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I've been dating a cancer man for 1y8m and it was perfect, he is not romantic, he never complimented me... But he is ver
What does it mean now that my Cancer man is sharing all of his doom with me? He is venting and sharing about the bad
I recently started dating a cancer man. He keeps talking about having a baby and how much he wants one and he wants me t
Ugh! I wanted it to work, but we can't do it. I think it is based less on his horoscope and more on the fact that he i
A few years ago I dated a cancer man seriously (I'm a Cap with Scorpio moon). He was ready for marriage before I was and
i'm a pisces female having dated a cancer male. we get along great and have lots in common that we don't have with anyo
So about a few months ago, I met a Cancer guy in the mall. It was such an awkward and quick exchange. A month later we w
Okay so I have no idea what is going on between me and this cancer male. I am a Pisces and I feel connected to him,but I
Cmon guys no joking around. XP My bf gets turned on when I get corny Ex. Telling him how much he means to me about
Me and the Cancer guy friend got into an argument over something stupid. He says I always misunderstand him, I told him
I'm going to keep this brief. Guy and I have been dating 4 months. We are exclusive and we use the bf/gf label.
Last time we saw each other he spontaneously opened up to me about a ton of troubles on his mind lately. He's stressed, depressed and hates his life. None of what he expressed had anything to do with me or our relationship.
A few days later we were supposed to get together and he flaked. That night (after I tried 3 times to get a hold of him)he finally sent me a text saying that he's not in a good frame of mind and will call me in a few days. (Several times he's told me that he hates how he treats people when he's in a bad mood).
Four days later I still hadn't heard from him so I sent a text stating that if he's not ready to talk yet that's okay but I'm thinking of him. No reply. (We were also supposed to see each other that day but he still ignoring me - so we didn't see each other)
Two days later I tried calling him because he was going out of town the next day - a trip he was dreading) He didn't pick up so I left a message wishing him a safe trip. Still nothing.
He came back into town yesterday and I still haven't heard anything.
It's been 2 weeks since we saw/spoke to one another and a week and a half since he said he'd call in a few days. What do I do now?