Is it ok to initiate with them?

Is it ok to contact a cancer first and ask them to hang out? Especially if they have invited you out 3 or 4 times already? I had other plans the last time he invited me out. So, I invited him to hang out this weekend with friends if he was around. Bad move? I never initiate things like that, but everything I read about these cancers, you need to show interest. Was that a bad move?

Well - bc now he will think I am "chasing" him - guys hate that.

Best thing you could do.

bc now he will think I am "chasing" him - guys hate that.

No they don't! Men think you are chasing them when you act desperate, obsessed, insecure and unsure of yourself. You can initiate but I just wouldn't suggest initating in the BEGINNING, esp if you want to be more than just a friend. You can call and chat from time to time, I don't think that would be a problem.

krobe03: "You can initiate but I just wouldn't suggest initating in the BEGINNING". Well, this is the beginning, right? So are you saying I should have not asked him to hang out? And I didn't blow off everything he invited me to. I did show up to one of the 4.

krobe03: "You can initiate but I just wouldn't suggest initating in the BEGINNING". Well, this is the beginning, right? So are you saying I should have not asked him to hang out? And I didn't blow off everything he invited me to. I did show up to one of the 4.

Play with it. Ask him to hang out! If he accepts your offer and he actually doesn't stand you up, then you have a hit. If he doesn't show up, don't invite him out anymore. A typical Cancer will STAND you up from time to time.

If they do stand you up.....what does it mean?

In cancer terms because lets face it they are harder to figure out 🙂

I don't know, I guess I am not the modern day aggressive, I have to have him type of woman! In my OWN personal opinion, I feel the man should want you more than you want him. That is just my opinion. Yeah, show some interest but let him pursue. Let him initiate and doing the calling and planning dates.

If you like the role of appearing eager, I will just say go for it. You will experience the shell by moving too fast with him. Maybe the Cancer women like men to pursue them hard but I don't know about the men. If you move to fast he will slow you down REALLY quick. I don't think it is just Cancer men but alot of men don't WANT easy women. I just truly believe most men want to put in work for their prize (YOU!).

Well, I have always read you have to show interest in a cancer. And actually, i was the first to contact him awhile after meeting him. As soon as I did though, he started contacting me ALL the time to go out. A couple things I couldn't go to, but the last one I did show up. And we had a great time. He invited me out the next day, but I had other plans, and he did seem really disappointed that I didn't go out. He did text me later again and I never responded back. So, I felt that me inviting him out for a change was ok - all I said was "if you go out this weekend, we should try to meet up!". That's it. I think he is very insecure, and "having other plans" could be enough to make him think I'm not interested. He's already accused me in the beggining of only playing a game with him cuz I was being fickle. So he already has his defense up.

Well until he is comfortable with you his defenses are going to stay up. It will take some time for him to open up and trust you. Yeah, I agree show some interest and let him pursue. That not responding will not make it far with him. He can ignore forever. LOL!

Yeah ok, initiate but stand back alittle and see how he responds to your advances. I suggest you get a notebook because this is going to be EXCITING! LOL!

Crabs are not that fun when you catch them at the most unopportune time...I will say that I hope to God that cat isnt trying to get in your pants at a time when you are way low...he is a guy, I would so not pin that on a Cancer we are loyal, damn- so are Leo's supposed to be, but seriously- if this guy is advocating that you cheat on your lame husband because he cheated on you- um, then where are you? Right now you have your husband's nuts in a ringer as far as divorce court goes...I would seriously file for divorce and consider yourself separated. Your Cancer friend?, to test his loyalty and solidify that he is not just trying to get the poor girl when she's down (friend or not) will wait until you are properly separated and/or divorced. So your husband screwed up...dont stoop to his level and join him...I'd find some female friends to hang with and outpour to and do not put yourself in questionable positions- literally and figuratively with the male friend...you dont love the guy, youre just hurt and needing security and someone to lean on...

p.s. this was a random place to stick a post...i'd have put this elswhere, but to each his own...best wishes.

VirgoLC,

Cancers will need to be chased alot in the beginning. They need reassurance that you really want them. Your chasing will never be taken in vain. Cancers are very cautious and hate rejection.

Just go with the flow... if you feel comfortable being the one doing all the calling and initiating for a while until he is sure about you, well do it.

Obviously you will be able to tell whether he is interested or not. If you initiate and he accepts... then you're good to go. But if you ask him out and he turns you down numerous times, well it's time to bounce.

Good luck!