Is this weird?

So my cancer man keeps bring up the fact that me and his grandmother is so much alike. She and I are both Aries. She raised him, and she is truly the love of his life. She also loves me and sing praises about me to family and friends.

Here's the part that I'm questioning... He's constantly telling me how much me and her are alike and how he loves me because I'm like her. CONSTANTLY!!!!! I could be cleaning the toilet and he'll tell me I use the same cleaning products as she and he loves that about me. Also once I told him to use a certain product for cleaning the carpets. He disagreed, but called her to ask. When she told him the same product I said, he started laughing, gave me a hug and said this is why I love you. He says we hug alike, cook alike, has the same temper. This is on a daily!!!!

I am honored by the whole idea that he sees me as the woman who raised him and he cherishes to the up most, but at the same time, he brings it up in everything I do. He even wants to marry me because of all this. Is this weird or am I over thinking and probably a bit annoyed?

I dont see this necessarily as a bad thing. I just don't want it to be the only reason he loves me. I want him to see ME. Not.just see the HER in me

Posted by babygurl
Address your feelings but be gentle and diplomatic about it..

All the best tell us how it went though 🙂

I will talk to him later this weekend since he's currently out of town. Dont want to hurt his feelings. Wish me luck. I will keep you posted.

Posted by thinktoomuch
I think it is typicle cancer to search after things in the present that resembles things in their past.

Cancer I dated also told me, that I was similar to his sister, and that I was similar to his first love (the one that got away, because he was too young and scared). I don´t think they realize, that´s it´s no always so cool to feel like a replica to replace someone from their past, and I think it is something many cancers do.

I don´t know if it´s got to do with being a sign, that doesn´t really change much...

But even though it is extremely sweet that he does this, I get why it bothers you. Just be sure to let him know in a nice way, because bviously he does it to show you how much he cares for you.

Yes, I try to see it as sweet and knowing that he cares for me. And i don't want to be a replica. It weird me out sometimes.

We do identify patterns in everything, and often have emotional responses subsequently. Whether we verbalize it or not is another thing. I'm quite sensitive to appearing creepy or clingy so I often hold my tongue. But in my most recent relationship, I often saw things in her that reminded me so much of my mother. But here's the catch, I don't really like my mother (she's a Libra), so the things that I notice are more like similar to the things that I relate to the comfort I felt growing up close to my mom, not so much to she herself, especially since their differences are an ESSENTIAL part of why I love this girl and hated my mom for years. So most of the time I never mentioned it. I would always try to compliment her objectively (typical Cancer to ignore the fact that compliments expressed with feeling are often received more readily with more insecure signs, like Aries, etc, and in your case, to ignore the effect that what they're saying and how they say it on the security of the other person). I feel like Cancers are very concerned with their own security, and offering security to their partner is a bit of our nature so I don't think we always approach things carefully enough, like "I do appreciate you by my entire life, what I say and how I say it? What, what do you mean I'm careless with my words?" That last part might just be me though.

Posted by yoopea
We do identify patterns in everything, and often have emotional responses subsequently. Whether we verbalize it or not is another thing. I'm quite sensitive to appearing creepy or clingy so I often hold my tongue. But in my most recent relationship, I often saw things in her that reminded me so much of my mother. But here's the catch, I don't really like my mother (she's a Libra), so the things that I notice are more like similar to the things that I relate to the comfort I felt growing up close to my mom, not so much to she herself, especially since their differences are an ESSENTIAL part of why I love this girl and hated my mom for years. So most of the time I never mentioned it. I would always try to compliment her objectively (typical Cancer to ignore the fact that compliments expressed with feeling are often received more readily with more insecure signs, like Aries, etc, and in your case, to ignore the effect that what they're saying and how they say it on the security of the other person). I feel like Cancers are very concerned with their own security, and offering security to their partner is a bit of our nature so I don't think we always approach things carefully enough, like "I do appreciate you by my entire life, what I say and how I say it? What, what do you mean I'm careless with my words?" That last part might just be me though.

Wow, well put

I hope that gives you some insight into why that's in his head in the first place, but to be honest, the fact that he doesn't know how to compliment you in the way YOU can receive is to me a sign of a Cancer not fully developed, perhaps a bit immature in relationships. One skill wr can have in spades once we grow the f*** up is being able to not only think about and FIGURE out what works for you individually (this is part of our nature), but being able to exhibit enough self-control and effort to actually change the way they talk to you and about you based on their unique understanding of your deep needs and uniqueness. That takes time and concentrated effort, but it's possible, and in my opinion one of the definite perks of befriending or dating a Cancer who has put a lot of time and effort into his social skills.

Let him know that you like compliments re: the way that you are special, different from others he's known or dated. That is, if you do in fact really want that. He should respond well, I'd guess. However, my last statement about this is it is a compliment from his perspective. You have a right to be annoyed, but try hard not to dismiss them as meaningless or doubt his motives, ESPECIALLY to his face. That will really hurt him.

By the way, the partner I mentioned in my last comment was indeed an Aries, I love them too and I put a lot of work into making mine happy in her unique way. Problem is, our personalities are so different that it takes a lot of insight and intentional attention to notice the way he gives to you and you give to him. I think on the subconscious level, Aries and Cancer easily realize what each gives to the other, but we have other essential needs that are a bit incompatible and this can cause friction honestly. If you work them out it can be an amazing thing, the relationship. Better than others IMOœ

Thank you @yoopea. You seem very wise. This helps alot.

It's weird ..the thread is weird...

Posted by Arielle83
Ughhh

Well I guess I should stop telling my husband he reminds me of my father.

And then later call him "daddy" when he's inside me.


Jokes!!

Yesss...Lolol