Male Crab confusing me!!

Ok so I wrote about this a little in the complaint/kudos thread but kinda got lost under everyone else 😛 So I'm going to try this and see if I have any luck!

I went to school with this guy when I was 9 and he was 10. He found me on facebook and I could instantly tell he was edging to ask me out or something. I avoided him for a little bit because I wasn't in the same headspace as him. Anyway at one point he caught me off guard and we got talking and we were surprised at how similar to each other we were. We talked a couple of nights in a row and it was good. He eventually asked what I would say if he asked me out on a date or to go out and I had told him it might be best if we were to just meet as friends first considering the length of time since we were last in contact. He was fine with that idea.

Then he asked if he could ring me one night which I was cool with. We ended up talking til almost 4 in the morning.

Now...no one has ever been able to read me (and if they have they've known not to let me on to it) and I've always been quietly proud about that...but this crab did! He basically knew who I was to a T. It was pretty scary and intriguing at the same time. Totally oppposite to normal because I couldn't really read him after all that time.

Which is why I've come on here. I can't tell if he's interested or not. It feels like he is constantly enticing me only to reject me (in a nice, playful, teasing way). He will making flirting jokes and then take them back but he also told me he had two secrets: One he can't tell me but has to show me, and the other I have to wait for two years to find out. I told him because we get along so well in two years we may have killed each other. He said it would probably be the opposite...and his opposite was falling in love and getting married. Again he said it in a joke sense but it was enough to make me wonder what was going on. He rang me on his work break today and it was the same thing...flirting and then taking it back in a nice way.

I get the feeling he likes me or is at least interested in some way then I feel all up in the air and unsure of everything. I think he kind of knows this and likes it! But that's another thing I'm not sure about.

Is anyone able to help me out? I don't want to make a fool of myself...

If you want to calculate the emotional age of a crab, you take his human age and multiply by 0.66 and you should be pretty close. That said, if you like him, doesn't matter how immature he is, as long as you get to spend time together.

Posted by mr.crabby
If you want to calculate the emotional age of a crab, you take his human age and multiply by 0.66 and you should be pretty close. That said, if you like him, doesn't matter how immature he is, as long as you get to spend time together.

Yeah I understand that. Thank you.

And I do like him I just don't want to make a fool of myself by thinking he's more interested than he really is...or that I am taking his 'immaturity' the wrong way.

But I understand what you're saying...I think 😛

From what I've learned so far (at a very,very slow pace)if they are not interested you won't hear from them at all. If he is the one initiating contact well then you've managed to capture his attention. Seems (personal experience)they always have their guard up and when you question it they run away eventually to come back if they are still interested. Cancer is one sign as well as my own =) that has almost a built in mechanism that almost reads character and can decipher the true from the genuine. It seems they sometimes will say things they truly mean in a joking manner for fear of rejection. He's kind of feeling his way with you and maybe trying to figure out where he stands with you. Be honest(he can detect fake)be yourself & if you don't like him, well then don't worry about it

Very true....not hearing them at all I mean... PERIOD..EVER. I can also vouch for the time thing..regardless of time if they are interested you will hear from them =)

Posted by missscorp
From what I've learned so far (at a very,very slow pace)if they are not interested you won't hear from them at all. If he is the one initiating contact well then you've managed to capture his attention. Seems (personal experience)they always have their guard up and when you question it they run away eventually to come back if they are still interested. Cancer is one sign as well as my own =) that has almost a built in mechanism that almost reads character and can decipher the true from the genuine. It seems they sometimes will say things they truly mean in a joking manner for fear of rejection. He's kind of feeling his way with you and maybe trying to figure out where he stands with you. Be honest(he can detect fake)be yourself & if you don't like him, well then don't worry about it

Yeah I'm a Scorpio also so I understand the reading and deciphering thing...which is why it's so scary when someone else manages to do it to you and you've seem to have lost your touch! 😛

Ok so he's initiating 90% of contact as well as pushing to see me...so from what you've said that's a good thing.

My mum (yes I still ask my mum for advice haha) said that guys usually don't just call girls during their work break, and definitely not to their cell phones, and talk about nothing for no reason.

And it does sound to me like he means his jokes so I'll also take your word on that.

But how do I manage to be honest without scaring him off? He seems to also like the mysteriousness game he's got going on, and truth be told I like it too, so I don't want to ruin it by confessing everything to him...but I just feel too vulnerable not knowing what's going on. I feel like if I'm honest with him I will come across as clingy.

If he's pushing to see you girl, take that as a VERY good sign.

But don't be surprised or dissapointed if after you see him/hang out with him, he dissapears for a little while. If they're interested, like said above, they always come back around.

If your being honest manages to scare him off then he's not for you anyway. If you don't want to come off sounding clingy, watch how you both word things and the tone of which you're utilizing to express said words. If you can be honest without being overly emotional then it sounds more like you're stating facts and not like you're desperate or needy. It's kind of true too. You would be stating your personal facts.

It's best to say things in passing when the timing is right for it. Say you 2 are hanging out and having fun, you can say something like,"Hey! You're so much fun. I like you!" It'll probably go over more smoothly then if it went more like,"I would like to talk to you about something. It turns out I really like you and... blah blah blah." That would put a guy on the spot and feel pressured. You can get away with that with a fire sign, they would appreciate the bluntness and directness (and probably be really turned on by it), but maybe not an earth or water sign. I don't really know because I don't care if I scare someone away with my honesty (leo here!). If you can't take the heat, then step away from my fire... or whatever.

Also, be wary if someone disappears on you for weeks at a time. What was stated above is complete bullshit. You are deluding yourself if you think that after weeks of nothing/no contact whatsoever you are getting back to any kind of real relationship. That means he's coming back to get laid, his other conquest didn't work out, or something along those lines. If he truly cares, and has any respect for you at all, he would not do that without fair warning. He would be conscientious of your feelings and something like disappearing would be an obvious no-no. Remind yourself daily of your worth and you will not tolerate such behavior.

My cancer love approves of this message. That is all 😉

Posted by ninjamu

Also, be wary if someone disappears on you for weeks at a time. What was stated above is complete bullshit. You are deluding yourself if you think that after weeks of nothing/no contact whatsoever you are getting back to any kind of real relationship. That means he's coming back to get laid, his other conquest didn't work out, or something along those lines. If he truly cares, and has any respect for you at all, he would not do that without fair warning. He would be conscientious of your feelings and something like disappearing would be an obvious no-no. Remind yourself daily of your worth and you will not tolerate such behavior.

Ninjamu has a good point. I agree with her. When I say "dissapear," I'm using the term very loosely.

My crab has never left without warning or without talking first. We've had break ups, ones that were done face to face where our feelings were talked out. We've had scheduled, mutual-decision "time-outs" lol. But he's never up and left me without word or warning.

What I meant by my comment was that, if it takes him a FEW DAYS or a WEEK to initiate contact again after a get together, don't be surprised, it could be due to a number of reasons not including a lack of interest in you.

🙂

I noticed you too are a scorpio...after my post!Either lost your touch or met your match...initiation on his behalf should speak more to you then what he has to say. Actions with these crabs mean more then words. Sounds like he is interested in getting to know you, he must like what he's learned so far.Mum's always know best! You seem to be invading his thoughts during the little time he has to himself during his day..his call..(Action)take things slow,its the excitement of getting to know someone and wanting to know more..I'm still learning but they seem to have a pace all of their own and don't like to be rushed about it.Joking, he maybe just poking around to see what type of reaction he gets from you. Keep it scorpio and keep it mysterious, its the thrill of the chase they love..Too much too soon may send him runnin in the wrong direction. Some scorpios have this in common with the crab..no words regarding your feelings are nec. Just your actions should be more then enough, like taking his call..he will figure it out, they're good at that!

Strange thing, I've always heard people say Crab's are weary to get into relationships and do not move hastily....

When I met my Crab, within 3 days of hanging out we were already talking "when you and I start dating"...which, ended up being 2 weeks after we met. He very quickly asked me to be his girlfriend, but we also had several conversations about this and about what we wanted. Both times he dated me he acted quite fast, like he almost couldn't help himself.

If I had been smarter I would have tried to set the pace a little slower, but for a gem? Hah, nearly impossible. We moved warp speed, and let me tell ya, not a good idea! Misscorp has got the right idea, take it SLOW, all the fun is in getting to know each other. Take baby steps, not big leaps. Me and my Crab didn't last long and I wonder why? In two months we had met, slept together, practically moved in together and banished our friends from our lives. It wasn't a realistic situation and in turn, indefinite seperation....

Well when he rang yesterday during work I told him I wasn't getting into uni because I think I waited too long to do my test. He told me I need to be positive and where is my positivity, I need to wake up with a smile on my face everyday...so I asked if he was going to call me every morning then... He called me thismorning to make me smile as well as asking if he could see me.

Maybe his jokes were serious 😛

When I told him I wasn't doing anything on the day he asked he did say I should have rejected him so it made me look busy and he sounded disappointed about that...but he also said it would accomplish his goal for the week...I hope I'm not dealing with one of those sweet talkers who aren't real!

His word of advice about being positive a plus I'm sure and right when you needed it! Sounds like so far..so good.He makes you smile and and wants to see you. I bet you smiled all day long too!The part about rejecting him when he asked if you were avail...not so sure...maybe a bit of a red flag? Who has time for mind games. Let him know you don't in a subtle way, yet getting your point across

Posted by missscorp
His word of advice about being positive a plus I'm sure and right when you needed it! Sounds like so far..so good.He makes you smile and and wants to see you. I bet you smiled all day long too!The part about rejecting him when he asked if you were avail...not so sure...maybe a bit of a red flag? Who has time for mind games. Let him know you don't in a subtle way, yet getting your point across

Third morning in a row that he has rung to make sure I wake up positive 😛 haha.

But yeah I was wondering if it were a red flag about the games thing as well. He's also told me has has two secrets, one I have to wait to see him in person to find out because he can't tell me, and the other I have to wait two years to find out about. He reckons I should have figured his secrets out by now but I haven't. He said I better get used to having to guess what he wants me to know...I know some cancers are like that I just didn't know they were AWARE of doing it. So not too sure if that is also a red flag.