My pride tells me to walk away.....

My pride tells me to walk away.....

Gemini, always being difficult. You don't know what the blank screen did to her.

Posted by gemtaur
You loves it Crabcakes

Only the stingy one shall call me that.

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by gemtaur
You loves it Crabcakes

Only the stingy one shall call me that.

click to expand

🙂 You knew I'd be watching, didn't you?

Posted by Eris

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by gemtaur
You loves it Crabcakes

Only the stingy one shall call me that.

🙂 You knew I'd be watching, didn't you?

click to expand

😉 *snap*

Posted by gemtaur
from a blank screen? My pride would too. I mean the gall, the nerve! Thinking it's all that when it's just a treetrunking blank screen.

LMFAO!!!!

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by Eris

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by gemtaur
You loves it Crabcakes

Only the stingy one shall call me that.

🙂 You knew I'd be watching, didn't you?

😉 *snap*

click to expand

lol You're a sneaky one!

The gall! The nerve! Lol! Yes! Sometimes you can get a blank screen when your labtop battery runs out and you don't have the charger with you!

The gall! The nerve! Lol! Yes! Sometimes you can get a blank screen when your labtop battery runs out and you don't have the charger with you!I'm

I'm a scorpio girl =) So let me fill in the blank screen! Known the cancer man for a little over two years now, it was an immed. fire between us...He noticed me from the moment I walked in...This happens often..something I don't welcome however conditioned to...No one has ever got my attention as he did....from the moment I looked at him something told me he was the one, I walked out with only one thought racing through my mind "Thats him and Im never going to see him again" Like something out of a corny movie right! This I know! He waited for a moment and ran out to me just before I pulled away. I never give out my number but he got it! He called two weeks later..our first encounter...He explained how people now a days are such in a rush with everything & attributes that to nothing ever lasting, I totally agreed with him. His last relationship was for 5 yrs and he walked away very hurt, we got to know eachother for the next 8 mos. our attraction....outta this world...no sex involved but we could kiss and touch for hours on end! The eye contact between us, our lonnnnnnng hugs spoke volumes and everytime it seemed as if we were getting closer, he would pull away...Kinda one step forward three steps backward type of thing. I explained to him from our first date I had only been in 2 very long term relationships in my lifetime and don't share myself unless I'm in love....So he knew what I was feeling when we shared our first intimate encounter 8 1/2mos later. He's always working, making that dollar.....His fav saying "Time is money" something I admire about him....I myself am the very same. A year into it I expressed my love for him via text, via phone msg...for fear of rejection...something I'm not at all use to and now know don't handle very well! He is so complex, so complicated....its the first time ever someone has turned me into this looney girl I don't even know sometimes. I generally get what I want but not with this one! I've told him for about a year now how I feel and it's best he not contact me UNLESS somewhere he may feel the same....I always here from him. He calls me on the daily, my morning wake up call! He makes my day most of the time but realize his calls are just not enough for me, not anymore. I asked him about 3 1/2 weeks ago to stop contact cause it hurts too much and he send me a txt saying my wish has been grantedd....I have not heard from him since. My heart broken but not anymore broken then it was to begin with. Is this how it ends?

Wow! I think its rather clever of me to have managed to get so much feed back from a blank screen! hahaha! yes! it is funny =)

@JusMe

I'm confused, you had a relationship, you told him you love him, and then I get lost. Can you elaborate from "I told him how I feel" onward.

@ cancerguy....we had no commitment....but this scorp is a one man girl, he knows this about me and seems to be the type of man who genuinely appreciates this in a woman. Maybe it was a bit premature on my behalf to "ASSume" it was something more then it was after we became intimate....please note! It was 8 1/2 mos later..for the most part I don't do the guessing game...I'm a scorpio...there are no shades of gray, only blk & white....yes or no....maybe's are not allowed!! and this one always has me guessing....at first I admit it was a challenge & I love a challenge, keeps me on my toes....but after this amount of time, it's just no fun anymore....Im not at all use to this.....I won't even allow myself the opportunity for anyone to get close to me cause my heart belongs to him....

@Gemtaur.....what do I see in him....dammit! I wish I knew exactly....there are so many things and then theres nothing! I have men that have been trying to get to know me that all my friends drool over but they just dont have that "X-Factor" I don't fall easily but this guy! from the moment I returned his gaze had me? This has never happened to me, not ever! I have seen a wedding story where one of the subjects about to be married explains how they "just knew from the very first moment!" OMG! Now I totally believe in that saying =) My X-Factor....he has it! This is the only way I can explain my personal x-factor:something that burns inside me and can make everything else disappear, something you cannot see but the feeling so strong it makes you weak in the knees,a feeling so unexplainable....well....I just cannot seem to explain it! All I know is no matter who I come across (attracted to very pretty boys) He just does it for me? No rhyme or reason....something about him just does

Sorry GemTaur....I am generally a very private person....Cancer guy is why I'm even here on this message board. (he turns me into this looney girl I don't even know!)hahaha! I don't normally participate on boards such as this so am totally unfamiliar with FWB terminology?.....clueless as to what it means? Keep laughing, I will laugh with you....I have no idea what your referring to.....

@ Claire =) I've never been so confused? Usually you "just know" there's so many mixed signals with this one? I can remember a time he was coming around...at the crabs pace...being a scorpio or just being me....when I "know" I just know....why dance around it is my thought process....who said we have tomorrow? Let me love you now =) I may have pushed him away? In the beginning he said he was'nt looking for a relationship but it it happens he's ready? He is the one that one day got all serious on me and put me on the spot with "What do you bring/expect in a relationship? He told he he wants someone to always be there no matter what good or bad....and for the last two years I have been just here for him even when he hides in that shell and shuts me out for sometimes what has been 2 weeks at a time, I still here when he comes out...I could never see me doing this with anyone else...it chips at my pride that I do it with him...I told him I'm loyal to default and I am, I understand he has some interest but not enough? it's been two years, I don't just want a phone buddy...it always seems when he starts giving a little more I just cannot handle the little he gives and I ask him to leave me alone because it's just too difficult for me...kinda outta sight outta mind sort of thing....he's been outta sight for over 3 weeks but most definitely on my mind more often then even I can handle. I think he will come around again since he usually does but for what? I don't get him at all & he is soooo private it puts one to a test....

@Claire again! last year sometime I told him I wanted more of him, I wanted to see him more often and spend more time together and he said why? I'm just me, I'm boring and one day will get tired of me and won't be able to get rid of me....he never allows me the opportunity to do either or....when I love someone it just get deeper with time, I don't tire of people most definitely not with the one's I am in love with..He always has me wondering, I'm the girl that just needs to know at some point!

I have asked him to leave me alone because he confuses me....he makes me feel like no one else has ever made me feel and its quite difficult for me? Like I am here whenever he wants me to be, I totally stopped contact with him for 2 mos and then he contacted me...one day he got very personal/emotional like never before and told me last year was a bad year for him, he focused and kept himself busy with work and his hobby and this year (Jan 2010)he wanted to change some things, he said he knew I have been very patient with him and things would change then I did'nt hear from him for a couple of days and we went back to the same old pattern of him contacting me whenever convenient. Like sometimes he makes me feel like I mean nothing, he will totally disregard me....for a few days, a week then I will hear from him everyday for mos on end. I am smart enough to know when to walk away but this one keeps tugging at my intuition that he cares, he just needs time...how much time? Don't walk away just yet....damn him! Loyal to default and it just don't go away. I am 100% single, have many people who would like to get to know me and I'm faithful to my phone buddy....I have turned in to the girl I once hysterically laughed at....and that is most likely the reason why!.....Karma always gets ya! I always get the same thing...."Why would someone like you be single?" because I am picky for one, in love with someone and loyal to them as if we were in a commited relationship and I never give up on what I want....I always get it!!! Should I pout now or later! hahaha 😉

about my chart...moon...sun etc. Claire call me the newby....Scorpio is all I know. let me give you a little more detailed insight...I have always seemed to be private with my emotions in the past...and for the first time in my life what seems to be ever I am single (new to me)I have actually grown to to enjoy my "me" time since I've never had it before. In my more mature years I have learned it's not a good thing to hold how you feel back..tell someone thank you, tell them you love them, tell them they made your day, tell them your sorry because tomorrow is never promised. For the first time I totally put my feelings out there for this man so if he wanted anything it has been made clear he can have it. When I say he confuses me...Like he is not ready or I am just not the one....so why does he hold on? it sometimes seems like a game where inevitably I end up losing at the end....I just cannot begin to sum up how many mixed signals he sends....but can tell you I have made myself avail to him should he want me...he has me

Thx a bunch Clair for your thoughts on the situation...I feel like I am trying to invade the cancerians train of thought...their way of thinking...thus..that looney girl I spoke of! Hahaha I am a very independent,self suufficient women something he said he admires yet at times he has come across as insecure or bothered by making little remarks about things I work very hard for, I do not need a man to take care of me....I just want him to be with be,spend some time ya know! I am a strong scorpio woman who loves to be in control but in a relationship I want the man I'm with to be able to control so to speak,to be manly enough that he can...to feel secure with him, in his hands....that's my cancer! Or someone else cancer?! Hahaha.

In the last two years I have practiced both scenarios! When I don't hear from him I would shhot him a txt or call and leave a msg.to a no response...it gets old and I'm not that girl..I refuse to be...so now I just wait until I hear from him in most cases. I am 100% used to being the pusued one which he did in the beginning but somewhere in between there due to alot mixed signals that wacky girl came out and almost started chasing..never in my life have I done this...how patient must I be?! It may just be all alot of wasted time invested which totally blows!

@QLibraMale...such a very true statement...you can't help who you fall in love with sometimes...that's just the thing I maybe having such a difficult time with...I don't fall in love easily at all..I don't jump in & out of casual relationships..only two long term & when I love...its deeply & always reciprocated. Its definitely a first for me...I'm the girl who knows her heart & mine don't lie or deceive me...my foundation for the moment...keeping myself very busy! Busy lil' Bee! That's me =)appreciate the input

@Maddy...Me either! It totally baffles me? My first encounter with a cancer man ever & I'm going to make damn sure my last!haha! I've truly never ever met someone quite like him. It truly leads me to believe its just not meant to be...its not this difficult, complex or confusing. I've been reading alot of the cancer threads & I'm thinking he maybe actually doing me this huge favor I won't soon appreciate until somewhere down the line I meet the not so complex guy and think wow....what was I thinking?!!!!

Stop complaining, I am "with" a Cancer all the time.

I believe Crabs are so perceptive to the point they KNOW if ignoring their messages is on purpose. So they relax because they know that you are not replying to punish them, not because you dont really care, and because of this, they continue behaving in the same way...they just sense the energy is there,and whatever you show cant hide your feelings for them.

At the beginning of my relationship I was obsessed with my Crab, although I acted aloof...he sensed that Im sure...
When I TRULY GENUINELY stopped obsessing and maybe really FORGOT to answer a text is when he panicked...
He always panicked at TRUE SITUATIONS, never at manipulations or acting...

This is the core of the problem...you may hide your feelings or pretend you don't care, but htey know better.
Stop REALLY caring about them and they will fight and cling like hell....

Posted by mr.crabby
Stop complaining, I am "with" a Cancer all the time.

Hey what does it feel like, being with yourself allthe time—??

Posted by PiscesArgie

Posted by mr.crabby
Stop complaining, I am "with" a Cancer all the time.

Hey what does it feel like, being with yourself allthe time—??

click to expand

The shell is convenient. Only having a m?l?e weapon is not good though, because you have to get close to other creatures and touch them somehow to cause damage. I hate touching others.

So....Back to the topic at hand! Thx PiscesArgie.....I take it you too have had first hand experiencce with a "Mr. Crab" too! It seems when my crab does "this" it's like my punishment?! What gives? He has always come back around.....I have'nt heard from him, I miss my daily phone calls from him, knowing it just was'nt enough I am forced to just let it be. It really bites because he is where my heart is and as long as it belongs to him....I'm not open to any other possibilities. The scorpion rule.....you may be able to trick other people but never yourself....sigh....😢

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by PiscesArgie

Posted by mr.crabby
Stop complaining, I am "with" a Cancer all the time.

Hey what does it feel like, being with yourself allthe time—??

The shell is convenient. Only having a m?l?e weapon is not good though, because you have to get close to other creatures and touch them somehow to cause damage. I hate touching others.

click to expand

Well at least you have a Shell...we hae nothing and we have to swim away so basically we are not fighters.
We have no sting ike the scops yet we have this intuition that tells us how to get to the other so we can get close and then know what will hurt them an use it against them...sneaky isnt it? and the swimming away hurts others like hell too...


What is your Moon placement Crabby?

Posted by JusMe
So....Back to the topic at hand! Thx PiscesArgie.....I take it you too have had first hand experiencce with a "Mr. Crab" too! It seems when my crab does "this" it's like my punishment?! What gives? He has always come back around.....I have'nt heard from him, I miss my daily phone calls from him, knowing it just was'nt enough I am forced to just let it be. It really bites because he is where my heart is and as long as it belongs to him....I'm not open to any other possibilities. The scorpion rule.....you may be able to trick other people but never yourself....sigh....😢

He is not punishing. He just knows you love him and that whatever he does you will go back to hiim... or if he comesback to you you will take him.knowing this gives him green light to do as he wishes....he feels emotionally secure which is what Crabs like so he can wander around and then come back to you...
If he felt unsure about how you feel , there he will cling or show more interest...but he KNOWS BETTER. sneaky Crabs and their perception....but you are a Scorp , so you have great perception too, though I find that scorps ' perception and intuition is often clouded by that passion they feel...one of my best friends is a Scorp and she finds herself in messes and can't get out ..it is others who can see clearly what is going on...her intuition doesn't work for her, it just works for others....

Unfortunately when Crabs behave that way and you let them..they will go on doing that.
Is comes down to self worth in the end..do you believe you deserve a guy who disappears like that? NO.
Be careful with being so tolerant because men dont like women with no self respect, and will stay with you until another woman puts limits to him!


I remember back in March when I started dating my Crab, he told me he was a jealous guy and that he would check my mails and text messages. I said, NO, you will never do that, I will never let that happen. I won't touch your phhone and you won't touch mine, ever, I want a healtthy relationship..are you in, or out?

Well he has never touched anything, and neither have I . and like this I have more examples. It is a question of limits.
If you let the other do that to you, they will go on...
think about it...

Posted by PiscesArgie

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by PiscesArgie

Posted by mr.crabby
Stop complaining, I am "with" a Cancer all the time.

Hey what does it feel like, being with yourself allthe time—??

The shell is convenient. Only having a m?l?e weapon is not good though, because you have to get close to other creatures and touch them somehow to cause damage. I hate touching others.

Well at least you have a Shell...we hae nothing and we have to swim away so basically we are not fighters.
We have no sting ike the scops yet we have this intuition that tells us how to get to the other so we can get close and then know what will hurt them an use it against them...sneaky isnt it? and the swimming away hurts others like hell too...


What is your Moon placement Crabby?

click to expand

You swim extremely fast and it does hurt. Not many sharks, either.

The moon was in Virgo.

Kunoichi Kageroooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Now...In response to AphroditeBull & anyone else who has participated on this posting/thread with the same questions/thoughts....I too was baffled by the number of responses that "were" received..particularly since it was a blank posting to begin with!!!Hahaha! Pretty clever!....Rite!!!Im still trying to understand why your response is geared more toward the forum instead of the person who posted it..as if trying to gather a fan club of followers who share " your opionion"...I know early on in my posting I mentioned the following key attributes...I am generally,usually and almost always a very private scorpio girl..I know I mentioned it being my first time ever on a message board such as this...I must have mentioned my entire purpose or reason for being here in the first place was curiosity..Mainly looking for the (key word here) "Cancerians" point of view.Although I am very aware that your sign alone does not determine any like qualities or your perception of things But I'm also aware how some signs may share the same characteristics/ways/behaviors. The cancer man I am referring to.let's just say his "unique" behavior led me here! I know I mentioned I have "never" been in a situation like this nor would I have tolerated it anytime in the past, nor anytime in the future..there's always a first and apparently, this is mine =)Hmm I'm almost positive I mentioned I have somehow turned into this "looney girl I DONT EVEN KNOW" one I would have definitely laughed at hysterically in the "past" I KNOW I must have mentioned I know he is interested since he is as picky as I am with individuals with whom he/we may decide to involve himself/ourself with. I know I mentioned I've "never"felt this overwhelming sense of confusion before either.I may have mentioned how on several occasions he has come across as insecure when it comes to things I've obtained that I have worked hard for and even my personality being very strong minded,willed and always playing the beat to my own drum..Maybe these things challenge him Wait?!I "know" (key word)initially...it was rather juvenile to txt my feelings toward him but I know I also mentioned the reason being out of fear of rejection, something. I just don't frequent often....Wait?!!! Did you read the posting at all?!!I didn't feel it necessary to include where we last had dinnr,what time he picked me up that sunday and where we last shared that kiss...hahaha! Irrelevancies! I've shared more with this forum then I have with some

of my friends...It's that privacy thing again. Or maybe its just a "me" thing.....in either case......I still have managed to keep some sense of privacy since I don't know anyone here and no one here "knows" me =D.....The one person that I've shared with is my bestie (Virgo) I love me some virgo's always hit it off with them......but generally I always hit it off with everyone, everywhere I go! Not too sure about cancers now!!!!

@JustMe. The situation you are in has little to do with astrology. It seems to me that you choose to write off this cancer guy unacceptable behaviour to the typical cancer moodiness (the mixed messages), but the description you have given rings true with numerous descriptions of a commitment phobe that abound on the internet. You bet all these commitment phobes are not crabies, right? I am affraid your wishful thinking blinds your scorpio intuition. The wishful thinking is accountable to lots of wasted time and broken hearts. You'd better cut your losses and move on. It is typical for the commitment phobes to start calling you back intensely, once they feel that they lose their grip on you, so you mistakenly may think that you are entering a new phase in your relationship. Wrong. As soon as he gets you to succumb to his charm, he will pull away again. And so, and so forth. Do you sign in for being infinitely led on by a man who certainly will not commit to you, since he failed to so do in 8 months and already having slept with you (why buy the cow if the milk is for free)? This roller coaster ride will eat away at your self-esteem (since obviously you would blame yourself for HIS withdrawal)and without noticing it in a few years you would become a depressed, needy woman who has wasted her precious years of youth on a commitment phobe who does NOT deserve it. So, please, cut your losses and run. Do not reply to his calls that certainly he will initiate after some period of NC (no communication). The only chance for you to have a normal relationship with him is that HE HIMSELF realises that he's a commitment phobe and he starts some therapy. But this should come from him, you cannot make him change, he would only resent you for this if you try. So, just leave him in peace. If he follows you, tell him that he has to become a better partner, if not, good buy gringo. He does not have the right to string you along and waste your time. Check this site www.cybershrink.org.

@East..hey there!Thx for your input.....I do mention how I realize astrological signs has nothing to do with one or the other but also in many instances may "happen" to share some like qualities...kinda like the sun & the moon...just to "clarify" what I wrote and not be taken out of context... They both share the same spot at times on a daily basis!I would actually have no idea to what the "typical"cancer moodiness would entail aside from my first hand experience with a man who just happens to be a cancer...I don't like to make assumptions about people I don't know...but based on this particular group...wow! The postings all share something in common....I decided to share what I know...what I myself experienced.About a commitment phobe...so I gather...and as much as it hurts my heart...I have no choice but to walk away...with my head held high..the only mistake I made was falling in love with a man who wasn't ready for what I have to offer..in the end everything in life transpires for very specific reasons and I believe in this instance although it pains my heart..the cancer man is doing me a favor by granting me my wish...This crabby crab not getting any milk here...yes after 8.5 mos he did but as soon as this scorp determined there was not going to be any type of commitment that all ended...I'm not the type to be used but rather share myself with the one I feel worthy. Again I was misled in the beginning...followed my heart but put an end to the intimacy between us right quick...maybe that's why he won't leave things alone..cause the typical reasons for a man to come back are noniexistant in this relationship. I don't use the word confused lightly...I know my likes/dislikes...wants/needs.Maybe he is actually the onechallenging me! I'm use to getting what I want! Now! If you knew me you would know I'm always upbeat..always smiling..and 100% independent. You'd also know I happened to love a man who just couldn't love me back as I deserve to be loved...and yes it hurts deeply but this in no way can break me...confuse me yes!!! But determine my mood and outlook on life...only I have control of that...thank goodness!!! I have no regrets..just some great experienced to add this collage I call my life!

You are a woman of strenght, it seems from what I read. Bon courage, I know it is not easy, but if you want to preserve your self-esteem, moving on is the right course of action. You have nothing to blame yourself, men are not walking around with a label on the forerhead saying "commitment phobe". Of course I cannot put a "diagnosis" on a man I've never met, but the facts that you state, point in the CP direction. Even if he's not a CP, then by pulling back, you will give him the opportunity to miss you and also the space for him to make up his mind about the relationship. If he has some internal issues, it is up to him to resolve them. His respect for you will most certainly dial up if he sees you as an independent woman, who is not waiting on his call. Good luck.

Yeah, gemtaur, he has not promissed a commitment after 8 1/2 months of dating, after having slept with JustMe, after being aware that she is in love with him, after having done the disappearing act. I think enough reasons to call a man a commitment phobe, don't you think so? Also it is very typical for a CP to be evasive, to re-start contact after a long period of NC, and this is exactly what JustMe has written (as you can see I have carefully read the thread). Emotionally unavailable man is another synonimus of CP, so thanks, you are confirming my opinion.In brief, I think that even if JustMe Sticks around for the next 10 years, this guy will not change, he will simply come and go, using her for sex from time to time and he will always invent some excuses for not being able to commit. So, I agree with you she'd rather go find somebody new. I do not see any signifficant difference in opinion between what you and I say. I am not demonizing the guy, he's just another egoistic and immature man with some intimacy issues.

@GemTaur...your absolutely right...we "never" did have any type of commitment...I knew I was falling for him already when he had this "talk" with me....one he initiated...it threw me for a loop and at this point in the relationship I was still guarded with my feelings for him meaning I hadn't verbalized them..although I "know" he knew...I told him from the beginning I don't share unless in love...it must have been 2-3 mos after being intimate with him..and since he too is a very private person..led me to believe he was feeling what I was and at the time I'm 95% sure he was..he asked me what I have to offer in a commited relationship, what's important to me...do I want more children, what I'm looking for in a partner, my opinion on what's most important in a relationship..that kind of talk...so yes I was as confused as ever & I should have been...those mixed signals I spoke about! He told me not that long ago that he knows he has been difficult & he knows ive been patient with him and then....nothing! Nothing changed..when your heart in love you don't give up...I never do but now realize it just wasn't meant to be...I'm not going to continue to hurt myself/my heart..my state of mind while waiting for something that has had more then enough time to materialize...I refuse to! I'm consider myself to be quite the catch in every way and one day he will look back and kick himself in the ass cause I will be the one he let get away! His bestest friend ever once shared something with me...he said ...this guy has not brought ANY girl around any of us since he last relationshi(it had been almost 2yrs since his breakup)and if he has seen you more then once and introduced you to us...(It had been maybe 1 year into it) he must really like you? Thus the confused girl! Hehehe....what can you do but your losses now and not invest any more of my valuable time.

I caught my typos...after I hit post msg!

@GemTaur....Rite! Thx a bunch! =D

@ East...Hey there! Thx for your input =) Not so much affecting my self esteem as My heart.....I "know" my worth....it seems you cannot pass this knowledge on to your heart unfortunately the mind & the heart think entirely two different thoughts!! hahaahah =)Yes! I believe this certain cancer to be afraid of getting hurt (commitment) but in knowing how that feels, he should not want to hurt others either....Karma...it's going to be an everlasting cycle for him & it's all going to be his fault!!!hehehe =) I've given him enough time, my mind "made-up" now if I can only get my heart to follow =) I knew he was a difficult/complex from early on.....Maybe I liked the challenge....I'm ready to walk...He had his chance.....and now he does'nt =)

—?_it seems you cannot pass this knowledge on to your heart unfortunately the mind & the heart think entirely two different thoughts!!??
It must be frustrating, your experiencing of conflicting desires. The therapists call this —ambivalence??, meaning that the logical mind and the unconscious mind clash. It seems that your unconscious does not want to let go, although logically you know that you MUST let go, because there is nothing there to fight for. It is worth exploring the roots of your emotional resistance to end this relationship. Ask yourself the question why you have been intrigued by an evasive man for this long, even after your having understood that this man is not willing to commit. There are women who would not put up with such treatment even for a month. It is not a criticism; I am only trying to trigger the right questions for you, so that once your anger??s over, you would not slide back to the old cycle of on and off again with this man. To do that you have to look inside yourself and see if there is a pattern of being attracted to unavailable men, and if yes, what are the reasons for this pattern: 1) is it that you like too much to chase and conquer men; 2) or in your childhood your parents/caregivers were not consistently physically/emotionally available to you, so you have been conditioned to get thrilled by a sporadic show of affection, that you had to —deserve?? in a way. Why are you trying so hard to please and win the affection of this man, is there a thought inside you that if you manage to get him to be yours you will finally —win?? the battle for affection and acceptance that had started when you were a little child. Of course, all these thoughts are speculations on my side, a kind of a check list for you to explore your thinking and get some clarity on what drives you.
Ride on the wings of your anger. Anger is energy (although with a bad reputation), so use your energy wisely to accomplish this difficult task to end a seemingly unhealthy attachment. Explore the roots of your desires. You are scorpio, known for their depth of though and will power. Use these qualities to create a better life for yourself.

@wineaux....Rite!Hahaha=) So you see...it's been mos with no communication and obviously it "has'nt gone away".....Did I mention my heart loyal?! hahaha! yes....my heart still stuck in this place 😢

Happy New Year, ladies!
@JustMe: congratulations on your staying power. We all know that no communication is hard when feelings are involved. But you know, you are doing the right thing. Because there are two possible outcomes out of this situation:
1) you keep NC and without even noticing it, you realise one bright day that you have closed that chapter of your life! One day the pain of the tears will become the salt of wisdom. You will be ready to move on stronger and wiser than before;

2) the other alternative is that Mr. crabby contacts you and tries to make his way back to you. By that time he would know that you can perfectly live without him, so he will be more open to listen to what you have to say. Do not make it easy for him to come back, do not become his doormat, once he shows some interest in you. Make him work for your attention, and clearly state what you want from him. If he starts acting flaky again, do not hesitate to send him back where he was-in the oblivion.

I see your posts have become shorter, that's a good sign, may be you are moving on already.

East, your advice is so clever, are you a pshychologist?
Or well versed in the matter. You have a strong point in what you say. There are switches inside that condition our patterns and behaviours and it is very enlightening and eye-opening to discover this, in a therapy. Also love the way you write and your choice of words... 🙂 what sign are you?

@East..its true! Your like a good ol' cup of Joe! Some real wake-the-hell-up for ya!!!! Hehehe I did wish him a Happy Thanksgiving & Xmas..it was one txt I send to all my friends & family....nothing personal...he never liked txt much. He is more of a pick up the phone and call guy if you have something to say...I decided not to include him in my Happy New Year's txt....I wanted ta start it off right and with a bang! Hmmm I got 7 days into and who was I fooling...here I am again for my morning cup of Joe!!! Hehee

@JustMe: Well done! Even better if you can do 100 % NC ! No festive greetings, nothing, because even if you send him an empty text, the fact that you have texted him, is telling. He would know that he's on your mind, and this is exactly what you do not want him to know. You have to make him believe that he has lost power over you and that you have moved on with your life. Even better if he can see you with another man (put a picture on FB) or make common friends spread the news to him. It is in human nature that we want what we cannot have.

The purpose of NC is two fold:
1) it gives you time to reconsider your relationship and gain some perspective on what is happening. It is a de-intoxication time for you. During this time you purge your system of the toxins of obsession related to this man. Very well possible you decide you do not need this relationship, and this is the best that can happen to you, because honestly with men —you get what you see??. It is typical female weakness to look for deeper meaning behind men??s acts and overanalyze. More often than not, there's no deeper meaning. The guy is playing mind games with you and has been inconsistent, there's no guarantee that he would stop if you got back together. So, why setting yourself up for more heartache?

2) but ok, let's give him the benefit of the doubt. If he was a decent man with some intimacy issues, the NC would give him the possibility to assess his feelings for you, without your putting pressure on him. He would appreciate that and feel that he might be losing a good woman.

In any case, keep 100% silent and let him make the first move. If he does, let him work to come back to you. Men stay with women, for whom they have made an effort. No one values something that comes for free. So, do not give yourself for free.

If he does not contact you, say after 2 more months, then start preparing yourself that this relationship was not meant to be. We cannot control the world, especially other people's behavior. Accept it.

Thanks for the compliment, but no, I am not a psychologist. I work as an engineer, so more often I deal with machines, than with people 🙂 But it is true that usually people come to me to talk about their problems.

I have been in therapy and I am doing a research in psychology, because I had to deal with my own life crisis.

I love the following definition of insanity: —Insanity is when we go about life in our old ways and we expect a different result.?? So if one wants different results, one should change one's old ways. Not an easy task, but feasible.

@East...I totally get the point your making....I guess at this point in time I will just have to see how this weary story unfolds...feels like a novel! hehehe....As much as this crab is missed I would rather do without then to settle for what is given. In most cases I consider myself to be very intuitive when it comes to situations such as these..in this case I am at a complete loss....like you with most of my friends I am the "go to" person for advice....I give such advice that I myself cannot seem to follow. That saying comes to mind...."easier said then done" It's not as hard as it was for me in the beginning but its not easy either. I have a busy schedule, I'm always on the go and yet still find time to miss all the things that intrigued me about him in the first place. I say I am ready to close this chapter....or am I?