Not Again

First thing is he asks to see me i say yes. The day comes I verify with him that he's still coming over and he says yes he will call. He never shows up. This is the second time. Is it time to ignore his a** for a little while? Not answer his text msgs/phone calls? The words "I apologize" or "I'm sorry" gets old after a while. How do I let him know that I've had it with this sh*t in a way that a Cancer man will understand and make him step up to the plate?

I can't stand it when somebody says they are going to do something and then don't do it. At least call and say you're not coming.

I wouln't say anything to him about it. Yes, I would quit answering his calls, no texts, no NOTHING and when and if you see him and he WILL ask why you don't answer his calls or call him, just say my time and space is too precious for me to allow you or anyone else for that matter play me like I am some kind of toy and walk away from him. He will chase you down the face of this earth if you stand up to him.

I have my Moon in Cancer and i guess that means I'm supposed to relate to him on some type of emotional level and i feel that i do but I see I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures here. I mean this man has told he loved me, said he trusts me more than anyone he knows, says I'm wife material but I think it's time that maybe I stepped back a bit. I don't think he's going to contact me for a while since he knows he messed up and Christmas is next week. Officially we are not a couple but we have everything else but the committment. I know he has some relationship issues but who doesn't these days. I find that for some reason I have more patience and tolerance when it comes to him more than any man i'm dating or have dated in the past 6 years. When we met it was instant connection and understanding. We met over 2 years ago and then he disappeared. He contacted me again this past May and we've been getting to know each other all over again. I feel this is the real thing and could be it for me and he's told me that he's not scared of being vulnerable to me...he says he needs me and i really think that scares the crap out of him. He tells me things about himself and his life that not even his family know about. He said he wants me to meet his grandmother who is his "mother figure" as far as he's concerned. The Sagittarius in me wants to tell him off but my Cancer moon says hold on...so i will have to find a balance somewhere in between. It is what it is. I guess I just needed to vent a little.

"more than any man i'm dating "

okay....does he know about this?? because if he does, well that's gotta be a serious red flag to him......if he's telling you that he loves you and you're marriage material and you're dating other guys at the same time.... he probably thinks you're not taking him seriously, not meaning thinking he's joking... but thinking of HIM as the joke.....

if he knows you're dating other guys I can almost guarantee he thought to himself "why should I wish her a happy birthday? I'm sure all her other guys already did...."

I need to recant my earlier statement. Thought it was your typical getting-to-know-you blowoff scenario.

I didn't read your second posting. My bad.

Too much complexity here for me to say anything. Sounds to me like you're both playing games while trying to connect. Pretty common stuff.

sounds to me like she's playing games and he's retaliating....
These cancer boys don't mess around - if he's told her that he feels so strongly about her he expects her to reciprocate.

fussing when he ignores you then going around dating other guys isn't the way to do things with a cancer guy.....

maybe you should reconsider......

"We met over 2 years ago and then he disappeared. He contacted me again this past May"

The guy's history ain't all pristine either. Again, too few details to comment. Something is amiss here, kinda like the whole story is not being told.

true....it rarely is though......
but from what IS here.... she admits she is dating more than one guy - and yet she has twice been very upset about this one's behavior....seems very off to me... not saying he isn';t doing anything wrong - just saying....get your own stuff straight before you worry about his....

If I were to really simplify things (which I hate doing), seems like girlfriend has multiple suitors of which Cancer boy is one.

Cancer boy is wooing her hard and is annoyed his efforts are coming to naught (like Paul perhaps?).

Cancer boy is frustrated and throwing in the chips to salvage the remainder of his pride.

Girlfriend is infuriated that slave boy is not kissing her ass like the rest of them.

But again, I hate to oversimplify 😉

"Cancer boy is wooing her hard and is annoyed his efforts are coming to naught (like Paul perhaps?)."

I will respond to this in the other thread so as not to hijack this one.....

I think I need to clarify some things because some of the comments are way off base. I am not playing games with him nor he with me. We are not officially in a relationship and that is a conversation that he and I have had. Until he asks me, and those are his words, we are not in an official relationship. Of course I am dating other people or at least trying to...but the people I am dating have been falling off the radar because I really would like things to move forward with the Cancer man but of course we are at a snails pace here. How does that equate to playing games—? He knows where we both stand because we have discussed these things. There is no way I can tell the whole story in 1 thread. I am not embellishing anything and have tried to ask for assistance on 1 particular instance of behavior. We have not had any type of argument but he does have things going on in his life that he needs to take care of before we can embark on any type of committment. It had to take a lot for him to contact me again in May. Since May we went through a getting to know you phase again but in October it has moved up a notch. This is not about me wanting him to kiss my ass and never has been. I just need some help understanding the Cancer man and how best to deal with it. He knows I love him because I have told him. Anyway, thanks for your comments.

well we're trying to explain the cancer man to you.... you may not see it as games because he "told" you that he did not want to be in a relationship now.... but believe that he is watching to see what you do. He will not be the one to move forward while he sees you still dating other men. What he is expecting you to do is STOP - and wait patiently for him to move forward.