Pisces desperate for help with a Cancer man and his shell !!!

I've been with this Cancer man for more than a year and a half now. We'd been together before when we were in high school, but then we broke up and got back together after 5 years apart. At the present, we're in a long distance relationship so we don't get the see each other very often, and I don't get continual communication with him either. At first, I was confused thinking he wasn't actually interested, but then I realized it's just the way he is, so I gradually got used to it.

About 2 months ago, he suddenly quit the social media, he didn't answer my texts, and his friends couldn't contact him either. It's like he completely disappeared. I was so worried that I tried to call him and he eventually answered, saying he was depressed. I asked about it but he said he didn't want to tell as he didn't want to burden me. So I left him alone, saying I was always there.

Then not so long ago (in his retreat), I heard about some of his bad habits (they are really bad) from our mutual friends (they couldn't contact him either), I was really shocked I even thought about breaking up with him. But coincidentally, he was back to visit me, and he immediately sensed something wrong just by looking at me (as always), and he said he had something to say. He admitted that he'd been really bad, that he'd been trying to break himself of the bad habits but only partially succeeded, and that he wanted to let me go so I could find a better partner. I'm pretty sure he was about to cry saying so as his eyes turned red and started to go watery. I'd never seen him like that before as he'd always been tough no matter what. At that very moment, I decided I wanted to help him out, I said no, I said I wanted to be with him and wanted to go with him through this, he hugged me. He added that he'd fallen into serious depression that he didn't want to meet or talk to anyone, that his thoughts kept running through his mind but somehow he couldn't speak it out.

Now he's back to his place so I can't get to see him, but he doesn't seem to get any better, as still no one can contact him and he didn't answer my latest text.

Is this kind of reaction to depression common among Cancers? How can I help him out or can I ever do? Can a Cancer be determined enough to change? If he keeps staying in his shell how can he be helped? I'm so worried it's just gonna get worse...

Please help me out! I really appreciate detailed constructive comments (especially male Cancers' because I really want to know what's on your mind and how you feel in such a situation). Thank you so much 🙂

I absolutely admire your kindness and strength! It's not an easy thing to not only forgive but offer help to your man after he's gone and done some not so pleasant things. Glad there are still good people in the world 🙂 Of course I'll help!

Sounds like he is going through a lot. You see the external strength of your Cancer but often they do this because internally, they feel quite the opposite (emotional instability, insecurities). Like Capricorns, they tend to give the cold shoulder or shut people out when they are going through some heavy stuff or if they've experienced emotional pain. There's an article I found which I'll link you but one lady observes that Cancers seem to struggle to adapt to today's society due to their inherent traits (such as societal views on insecurities and emotions as perceived weaknesses - completely misguided views in my opinion) and this may cause them numerous problems down the track such as a propensity for depression, escapist activities (illicit drugs etc.), overeating/overindulgence,

For your interest: https://www.thoughtco.com/cancer-zodiac-and-depression-4056250

Cancers need support and love above all else. He turns to his family and loved ones in dark times even if it is difficult for him. You've done an exceptional job telling him you want to help him through this. Keep trying to contact him, let him know that you're there and you want to help (ask him how his day was, is anything weighing him down, does he want to talk about it?). I have faith that he can definitely come around and recover from this. If he's weighed down by the guilt of his past actions for instance, let him know clearly that you've forgiven him and he should forgive himself. If not, might want to suss out what's keeping him like this. Of course don't bombard him with 500 messages a day either, he'll be overwhelmed!

Is he living with his family or can he reach them easily? I think they should really step in here and give him the support and help he needs. He can't just rely on you, this is too mammoth a task when you are so far away!

All the best.