So sexy.....

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haffo
@haffo
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 9826 · Topics: 354
Yeah

Lets wait while his old fat ass will get down by the chimney. We will expect him at the end.

Santa gets down by chimney. When he moves his head towards the room, he sees 4 angry men with clubs at hand.

Man says:

"So, this is how this ba*trad gets in to our house!"

Scared poor Santa Clause tries to move back up on the roof but all is too late. Only thing that could be heard now is his screams coming out from the top of chimney.

"HELP! HELP! ARGHHH!! STOP IT! ARGHH! HELP!! OWW!"
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Tiamat
@Tiamat
20 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4267 · Topics: 82
Ever get those moments when you want to burst into song?

Down in the workshop,all the elves were making toys
For the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys
When the boss busted in,nearly scared em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots,he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntaled yuletide rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to All-now you're all gonna die!"

The noght santa went crazy
The night St.Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well,the workshop is gone now,he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Commet
And he tied up the helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old german luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flame thrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said,"It taste just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the north pole
Without steppin in reinderr guts

There's the national guard and the FBI
There's a van from the eyewitness news
And helicopters circlin round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin,the body count risin
And everyone's dyin to know,oh Santa,why?
my my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes,Virginia,now Sants doin time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey.little friend,now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donners still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs.Clause,she's on the phone every night
With a lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin bout the night Sant went crazy
The night St.Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin gypped

Wo,the night Santa went crazy
The night St.Nick went insane
Realized he's getting a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo,something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya,something finally must have snapped...in his brain.

😛
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tauruschic
@tauruschic
20 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 2571 · Topics: 154
Me too! I also have a thing for shoes 🙂 And clothing too. And sometimes I just can't keep myself away from stores, they draw me in and I'm thinking 'well i do need shoes for that jacket' or 'a nice shirt to go with those pants' and guess what? you never even use it with what you said you would! I want to buy something really sexy or elegant or ....

I don't get expensive purses either... ?? when I hear about these ridiculous prices I ask "what does it do?" An expensive pair of shoes (which are probably loveeeely) is way better than a purse.