Stuck with crab dancing, how to move on?

Hi all! I am new to this forum but I have been reading threads for a long time so I feel like a regular already!

I finally decided to post on here to seek advice about a Cancer man that I really like who has been really testing my patience lately. He is:

Sun in Cancer

Moon in Scorpio

Mercury in Gemini

Venus in Leo

Mars in Gemini

Ascendant in Virgo

I am Sun in Taurus, Moon in Scorpio, Mercury, Venus and Ascendant in Taurus.

We met through work a couple of months ago and the chemistry was immediate. Magnetic dare I say. He travels a lot for work so he is only at the office around 50% of the time.

He started texting me a couple of months ago and at the beginning he came on pretty strong, was very proactive, showed a strong interest in me, asked me out and so on. I very recently broke up with a long term boyfriend when we started talking and I was honest about my situation with Cancer man. While at first he was very proactive and decisive, overtime his attitude has changed and I feel like now we are stuck with the infamous "crab dance".

He texts me for a few days, then he leaves for one of his business trips, he disappears, then he reappears, texts me again, then disappears and so on. When he is at the office, his eyes are glued on me. At work he is very sociable with everyone, but won't talk to me at all. He only looks at me from a distance and becomes really shy/ awkward when I am around. He finds every excuse to come talk to colleagues who sit next to my desk, but won't talk to me in person while simultaneously messaging me on our office instant-messaging system.

We never went out alone on a date. Every time there is some after-work event (like a colleague's birthday) he checks with me several times to know if I am attending, but then when we are there he ignores me unless I take initiative and go talk to him. Once after one of these work dos we stayed out alone for a last drink and he kissed me under the rain for one hour! It was lovely and very romantic and I thought after that things were going to take off, but I was wrong! Still no asking out on a proper date, just crab dancing. I once suggested that instead of going out with colleagues all the times maybe we should go out for drinks just me and him. He said he agreed but then never proposed a time and a date.

While chatting he mentioned that since becoming single again he dated a couple of girls but things never worked out because they expected the relationship to move forward very quickly and did not have the patience to see how things developed spontaneously. My interpretation is that they did not want to do the crab dance!

I am really attracted to him and I would love to take this further, but I don't know how to proceed. I feel like every time I try to make a move forward, he retreats in his shell. I've always dated Pisces men so this crab thing is a new territory for me and I am a bit lost!

Please, Cancers experts, help me sort this situation out! Should I let this go? Should I sit tight and wait? Ask him out?

Thank you all!!

No one jumping in? I'd really love some perspective from someone more experienced with crabs than I am please!

Ok I'm gonna try as I have the same sun, Venus and Mars as your crush ? He is shy... He doesn't want to get hurt as he mentioned other dating didn't work out his ego is wrapped up in this soo it hurts him if this doesn't work out and his self esteem. You will have to show him more attention and chat him up, make him feel comfortable that you want to be with him. He is unsure how you truly feel and how much you may like him. Mars Gemini does love texting, messaging, flirting, banter joking around but he is deep as well especially with Scorpio moon so he is intense and will expect that from you, as you should deliver you have the same ?.. Good luck, I think this is a good match.

Thank you so much for replying Moonbutter! Your advice is so precious.

I was unsure whether I should show my feelings more (and maybe asking him out?) or play it cool and make it more of a chase. From what you wrote it sounds like the first option is the right one!

Crabs are so tough, aren't they??

Posted by ondasp
Thank you so much for replying Moonbutter! Your advice is so precious.

I was unsure whether I should show my feelings more (and maybe asking him out?) or play it cool and make it more of a chase. From what you wrote it sounds like the first option is the right one!

Crabs are so tough, aren't they??

You are welcome, and yes we have a tough outter shell to protect us because inside we are warm and sensitive. We feel deeply and hurt a lot when it comes to matters of the heart. Now with his Leo Venus his heart is also wrapped up in his ego so he is NOT going to want to put himself out there if he feels even the slightest rejection. This is the mixed msgs you have been receiving from him... He wants you but he's not sure you like him as much so he waits.

Maybe he feels that you don't put the same amount of effort in? I had a girl like you before. I really had to go out of my way w/ her as far as compliments and general pampering. Eventually it got exhausting and I ended it.

This guy obviously works a lot. He doesn't need ANOTHER job.

Posted by TeddyBearMD
Maybe he feels that you don't put the same amount of effort in? I had a girl like you before. I really had to go out of my way w/ her as far as compliments and general pampering. Eventually it got exhausting and I ended it.

This guy obviously works a lot. He doesn't need ANOTHER job.

Hi teddy, thank you for jumping in the conversation 🙂

I actually think I made it pretty clear I am interested in him. I was the one who suggested we should go out alone, and he never followed up with proposing a time or a date. After that exchange he disappeared for several days and eventually reappeared but never mentioned a date again.

I would think that, as a woman, stating so explicitly that I would like to go out alone with him is a pretty strong indicator of availability, isn't it? Don't you think that he would have asked me out if he was interested at all?

Hmm well what a it he does that shows interest? Body language, messages, teasing?

Usually he initiates the conversation, although he is then sometimes flaky about replying (sometimes he replies in minutes, other times it takes him 24 hours to reply to a conversation he started in the first place..). When he is traveling for work he never keeps in touch with me, he only messages me when he is back in town.When we talk in person and chat he is flirty and teasing, but never in front of other people. At work he looks at me and seems to find any excuse to come around my desk and talk to the people who sit around me, but he never talks to me directly.

My Taurus brain is telling me that he is probably interested in me, but only superficially. Otherwise he would keep in touch with me more regularly and he would have taken me out on a date already. It feels like a push and pull, hot and cold type of behavior to me. Do you think I am misinterpreting?

Posted by ondasp

Posted by TeddyBearMD
Maybe he feels that you don't put the same amount of effort in? I had a girl like you before. I really had to go out of my way w/ her as far as compliments and general pampering. Eventually it got exhausting and I ended it.

This guy obviously works a lot. He doesn't need ANOTHER job.

Hi teddy, thank you for jumping in the conversation 🙂

I actually think I made it pretty clear I am interested in him. I was the one who suggested we should go out alone, and he never followed up with proposing a time or a date. After that exchange he disappeared for several days and eventually reappeared but never mentioned a date again.

I would think that, as a woman, stating so explicitly that I would like to go out alone with him is a pretty strong indicator of availability, isn't it? Don't you think that he would have asked me out if he was interested at all?

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Yep, that doesn't sound right at all. Must be one of those beta male July cancer types 😛

He actually doesn't sound that interested. So instead of being up front with it, he just kinda left you in limbo. Sorry 😢