They Are Such Jerks!!!

Please forgive me for this post as I am very angry while I'm typing. Here is the scenario...but first let me provide you guys some background information about what I do for a living.

I am a radio personality and a DJ so my job keep me up at night in clubs and what not. There is this guy who I will call Steve who is a program director at this station that I was hoping to start working for at the beginning of the year since there is a hiring freeze going on right now due to the economy.

We made plans to get together to discuss making plans for when I start working at the station with him. Now I admit that when I first met him, I thought he was very nice looking and clean cut. We talked about work and the music industry, had a great conversation. I didnt know he was married but I found out that he was married when his wife invited herself to the dinner he and I were having. At that moment, all feelings I had for liking him went out the window because I don't do married men. EVER! But anyway she joined us and we had a great conversation together. They make a great couple, I thought to myself and suggested they hook me up with a friend one day.

So after that night, Steve calls me and asks if I want to DJ for him at a club that he is promoting. Of course I say yeah and proceed to pack my dj equipment. The party is for teenagers so it ends fairly early around 11pm. This was last weekend which is also the weekend I was planning on seeing Twilight. He says he's going to another club and asks me what Im doing. I say going to check out Twilight if they have a late show. So he looks through his phone to see the times are. He says the next one plays at 12:45 am. I say well that will be the one Im going to see and asks me to go get some food with him until its time to catch the movie. We go to the restaurant and then he "figures" he will catch the movie. I'm thinking why would he wanna see Twilight? (you know cause its a vampire movie and thats my thing, but oh well)

Here is where it gets crazy. All during the movie he is acting like its soooo cold in the theatre and he is trying to be cozy with me. Actually it was pretty toasty to me, but I figure maybe he is anemic, but so am I so if I'm not cold he shouldn't be. (again oh well)

After the movie I give him a hug and Im about to call it a night. Apparently thats not what he had in mind because once we hugged he wouldn't let go. Now I'm in a pickle because

this guy is holding my job that in his hands. I don't know what to do so I play along with it. He is hugging me now for a good 3 minutes and then kisses me. I regretfully let him kiss me because I didnt try to stop but in my head I'm like noooooooo! (I know, I know) big mistake. He asks me to come home with him and by this time its almost 3am! I tell him its really late and I need to get home maybe later this week. (I'm lying)

So the next day he texts me and asks me what I'm doing for the day. I tell him I have relative in town so I will be busy. And that pretty much how it plays out everyday until yesterday because his texts were starting to sound like he was getting frustrated, but now I don't think I will get the job because he realizes I'm not going to have sex with him. Oh yeah his birthday was on the night we went out. What sign does that make him and where is his wife??

My question is do we Cancers give off some kind of subconscious signal to certain men. I mean I am ALWAYS being persued my married men or men in relationships or men who I work with and I absolutely hate it. Its against my morals to involve my self with married men or men in relationships. Its also against my judgement to date men I work with and I guess its my fault for thinking that this guy, Steve, would see it the way I see it since he is married and all I'm figuring he is totally off limits to me. Keep in mind that I am dealing with DJs and club promoters so my networking circle is different in that most of it takes place at night and its mostly music industry people. I am more of a tomboy and hang out with men all the time so I don't think Im giving off sexual vibes to people. I dont dress sexy at all. No tight shirts. I know people still find me attractive so I dress down to downplay it. Most of the time it works but sometimes it just goes awefully wrong as indicated above.

So could I be giving off vibes to people when I'm not trying? And why can't I give these vibes to the right kind of men at that? Need help! I realize now that I just can't go out with people even if its just a friends as they may interpret something else. That was my mistake.

Hey Scorpsting! My girl!!! Thank you for sharing that with me! I'm so glad you understand and since you are somewhat in the same line of work I know you feel what I am saying. Its crazy but no one EVER talks about it! You make me feel better already. I don't even go out really unless its work related because of these kinds of situations, but now I feel like I can't just hide out forever. I cut myself while cooking today because I was sooooo upset about this!

I find it interesting that you agree that we give off vibes! I also get the letters on my car every now and again and there are so many work related situations too. Like one time this sales manager at my station was hanging up all of my photos in his office which of course made everybody in the entire station believe we had a relationship going on and he didn't even know me like that and wouldn't take my pictures down! Jeez!! Please give more details if you will about what it is you think cancers do...so I can try and work on how I present myself to new people.

PS. I know what you mean about the vain thing. It's definitely not a vain thing at all! It really does suck especially if you're not doing anything to provoke it. I wish it worked on men I actually like! Lol! 🙂

"You were thinking of your new job more than anything else,shame on you...and now it's backfired,try being honest,if you've still got your old job ,it's not that great a loss really..."

That's the thing AB. I lost my job a couple of months ago so the new job would have been really important to me at this point.

"still,I don't think you're as naive to this as you say"

No, not naive to it. I'm just tired of it happening. I want to figure out how to not have it happen anymore. It's not like I'm sending out signals and if I am subconsciously doing something then I would like to know what exactly which is why I figure it may be a cancer thing or water sign thing since Scorpsting is dealing with the same thing. The sales manager thing was outrageous but luckily there were alot of witnesses who could see that I didn't do anything to provoke him except converse with him about sales and promotions. He was just nuts. He later was fired for hitting on one of his sales associates.

Like I said I am an air personality so I am aware of the fact that I am capable of drawing people to me, but its the people that I don't want! Lol! I've never been with a married man and certainly never plan to. An unfaithful man is totally unattractive to me so is going out with coworkers

Thanks scorp! In hindsight I shouldnt have went to the movie with him, but that has made me decide that I will not go to a movie with any guy anymore even the ones who are supposed to be just my friends if this is the outcome.

I talked to another guy friend about it and he basically said that the guy intent was always to get with me and that he was just using the job as bait.

For the record AB, I know that I am qualified actually over qualified. My resume speaks for itself.

"meme- i kissed my friend while married, cuz i knew i was stepping. but, it was not over and now i feel like just as much of slime for stooping low"

Thats exactly how it happens for me when I have made up my mind that a relationship is over. Its like the best way to get over someone is to put your focus on someone else. I know what you mean about the guilt though.

i have a funny story, got in touch with a power exec friend recently (through business) and he blogged on his freekin stock market site that his x girlfriend contacted him, blah blah. we never even dated !!! so he wants to make me look like one of his numerous whatevers for some big dick contest with the boys...treetrunking lame.

Wow! Scorp! I've been there too! We need to talk via email! This is crazy! You are right about my friend and how he thinks like a guy as well. I use to work at the station where my would be boss is working now, but I left for a larger market until they started making budget cuts. So this guy is already familiar with what I can do job wise by looking at my ratings. I guess he thought he would be able to hire me sooner but since the corporation won't let him until January (I didnt find this out until he told me last week) I guess he couldn't wait that long and tried to go for it!

My sisters and mom says it was inevitable and I shouldn't want to work for him now anyway and there was no way I could have avoided it. They said even if I never went to see the movie with him he would've tried to pursue once I was hired. Which makes me feel better, but its very frustrating when this happens. I am a career person and don't want to waste time "being" with anyone so these situations really piss me off. Especially when they hold your future in their hands dangling your job like its a game.

Hopefully you are right, Bling. Next year the economy can get better and I can move on, but jobs in my industry and scarce right now and he knows that. I do not want to work with him anymore.

"blingy- seriously, my life would be sooo much easier. bet no one ever told u they wanted to bend u over a table in the middle of a business meeting...it is sad."

Wow! You he said that in front of people! :O WTH!!!—

Ms. Pisces "You don't have to buy it because I'm not selling it" 😉

Scorpsting, you were right about the vain perception thing eh? I told you guys the part that I played in this particular situation. So there is no poor "wickle ickle me" but I guess I should expect that kind of reaction from some people.

I only mentioned my job so that you would understand that I work in a club setting as a DJ so late dinners with co workers are the norm after a gig. I wasn't trying to "flaunt my glamorous life" as if to say I am oh so fabulous! Sorry if some of you interpreted it that way.

This particular case yes I definitely played a part as to not heading this of at the gate. But my experience with men in general is as such that I get attention from married or taken me. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT I WOULD NOT EVEN WANT TO REMOTELY ENTERTAIN BEING WITH A MARRIED MAN. I do not flirt at all! No batty eyes, nothing. If you are married or with some one you are off limits to me. I don't know how I can make that anymore clear.

I just would like to know what I put out there to keep attracting these sorts of guys which is why I believe it to be a cancer trait. I do know that I am friendly but reasonably friendly. I was the same person in front of his wife that I am when I am with him at the club and the restuarant and the movie. His wife is obviously the one to make the decisions in his familiy otherwise I don't think I would have gotten the club gig if she wasnt feeling comfortable with him working with me. She came to the gig early but then left.

I appreciate the Unusualcancer. And I will have to make adjustments from now on. I have to practice being mean.

Is there something in ourselves that is provoking this kind of behavior or circumstance?

currently surfing for "Pluto entered Capricorn" stuff.

Thanks, Brad

I hope you can find more info to post! I am curious as to what is the root cause of the people that I attract. I know that I am a bit shy and I do internalize my feelings entirely so I can see how it manifests in the people that come into my life. I will look into it more as well. I was also afraid and feared that I wouldn't get the job if I blew him off completely and now in hindsight the job wouldnt have been worth all of this anyway.

Wow, that puts it into a lil bit more perspective! 🙂