Well I never...

It's scary I find myself on the Cancer board..Hi all..First time I am coming over here..

Now I have never really been fans of cancerian guys. Have always gone for the fire signs. But Lubenica (a user on here) once said to me..I bet you will end up with a cancer one day..lol..well it was inevitable wasn't it!

I have been with a cancerian guy for 2 months now. Started off all gung-ho..he was calling me 5 times a day..everything was brilliant, he was the epitome of the perfect guy, wanted to marry me, meet his mother, give birth to his children..then slowly the negativity started coming out and I was beginning to play the role of his therapist/mother. Now I don't mind helping people out..but one thing I cannot stand is victim mentality. Action is where it's at. If you say you are going to do something..bloody well DO IT.

Anyways cut a long story short, we've met 6 times in the last 2 months (not enough in my opinion), nothing physical has happened..as my username suggests, I don't work that way!..very affectionate towards each other, touchy, feely, occasional peck on the lips but thats about it..he's out of a job at the moment (his choice, on sick leave cos he can't stand it), wants to start up his own business, lives at home. I have spent endless hours with this guy helping him come to a decision about his job, helping him with his resume (even whilst I was on holiday) and just generally inspiring him to make decisions, that yes,life isn't all a bed of roses but it's really what you make of it etc etc.

Now I am a hardworking individual. I have several places of my own, a decent job and doing quite well for myself. I am proud and a happy go lucky/goofy kinda person.

Last time I saw him was thursday, we went for coffee and cake, I sat down and started to plan things for him on a bit of paper. He said he loves to plan stuff with me. He was very affectionate, sat next to me..stroking my hair, kissing my face, holding my hand blah blah...then after our evening out, he saw me to the train station, stayed there till i went, we waved and that was that..still no proper lingering kiss which is slightly worrying but hey I am all for taking things slowly. He says he's shy around me. Anyway..it has been 3 days and nothing from him. I sent him a text on thursday saying whatever happens, keep communication open. Don't shutdown on me. He said Ok hun. That was it..Haven't heard from him again. It's been 3 days, longest he's ever gone without talking to me.

I understand the cancer "shell" moment as a Scorpio, we get them ourselves, but even in this time we don't forget the people we care about.

I am quite annoyed to be honest, so I have decided I am not going to contact him either. I did say to him on thursday that problems come and go but if you are about to start a relationshp, then communication needs to remain open in order for us to help each other out..he agreed but has disappeared. He needs to snap out of it and realise what his actions are doing to the people connected with his life. If I can spare that much time for him to make him feel better, then I think it highly selfish for him not to be able to do the same. It sets you up for how the relationship will carry on if you constantly give in.

So my question is, I don't think I have done anything wrong here. Is he just confused about what he wants in his life and as a result, he's shutting me out? is he resentful for maybe what I have achieved? Is she scared he wont match up to my expectations? He did mention to me on thursday that he's worried about his libido..he thinks it's low at the moment. I think its to do with stress. He's such a worry wort..Maybe that will explain no lingering goodbye kiss. I find it strange.he does everything else but not that. How shy can a guy be?

ok cancers comment !or else 😛

Pandora's box has just been opened..

Well I swallowed my pride and phoned him simply because I needed to satisfy my curiousity...and he was perfectly fine...I know that is just a face and deep down he might still be stressed...but me being of the confrontational nature told him off for disappearing and a few home truths (not nasty..just pointing out that you don't disappear on someone you like). He said "well you could've called" so I said "I did"..and he asked "when"...I said "what do you think I am doing now"..Yes he will probably disappear further into his pathetic shell. He said when you are quite done "moaning"..so I said "don't you think i have a right to moan?" and he said yes and he also apologised..so i said "what is the use of an apology if it isn't meant"..and he just agreed...He gets all perplexed..muddles up his words when I was having a go at him..

He said he's been playing with my toy camel all weekend..(I bought him a cuddly toy from Dubai)..I said "well at least that is getting some affection"..he also told me he's made some head way on one of his business idea..I told him I was pleased that he was finally putting something into action rather than just talk about it..We talked some more and had a laugh and then that was it..He had to go..so emotionally withdrawn.

I am still not convinced..not feeling it at the moment..until he returns to his normal self again...I am not your average scorp girl..I don't let things fester, I certainly don't believe I should wait around for something to fall into place. It should happen instantly and stay with the same momento...If patience is required, then communication is also required..but I made the first move this time..its his turn now. Hell has more chance of freezing over than me contacting him again.

Likebrad...he has a lot on his mind..I do understand..but he's always had lots on his mind..that hasn't ever stopped him calling when he was with his friends, calling when he was shopping, calling when his brother p'd him off, calling just every hour of the bloody day!..so what has changed now? that's what annoys me.

He told me 3 weeks in that he's told his mother about me and his best friend..and how he wanted me to meet his mother at some point..doesn't mention it anymore..She's a pisces by the way and sounds utterly adorable. He also told me that the reason he thinks he's always depressed is because he has a lot of negativity and depressive people around him. I am never depressed, very light hearted whenever he calls..always make him laugh..by just being my goofy self..but no I won't take any shit from anyone..

LOL @ Zenalchemy...what is your sign by the way? never known that..

SRG..don't make me beat you up...bloody pandoras box..all this shelling and bullshit withdrawal is a waste of time..be a man and face your problems already!

His/mine planets if it helps:

Sun: Cancer
Moon: Leo
Merc: Cancer
Venus: Gemini (yuck) but in the taurus house
Mars: Gemini (confused)
Rising: Leo

Mine: Scorp
Moon: Cancer
Merc: Scorp
Venus: Sagitarius
Mars: Scorp
rising: Scorp

Hey Blingers..I totally agree...I don't buy that he's started it up..I think it's bullshit. the guy is totally incapable of making a decision. He's been talking about it for over a year!. Somebody who is serious about starting up a business does it at whatever cost..especially if living at home. I will believe it when I see it. If I stick around long enough to see it.

Yes hates his job, so on sick leave..still poncing money from the company which they have halved now cos he's frankly taking the piss. I told him if he was working for me and taking the piss like that I would've sacked him ages ago.

He went for an interview which i helped him prepare whilst I was in Dubai!!..and he didn't get it..cos frankly instead of using his own non existant brain he decided to say exactly what I told him to say at the wrong moment!.hahah..what a plonker..and the guy caught him up on it..at least have the intelligence to think before you give your answer..jeez

and where is my commission ? for reopening this box 😛

LOL..You will get your rewards...enlighten me with what pandoras box contains...as if I didn't know already..but I need to be reminded as to why I should embark upon this headache with someone who has a venus in gemini..the planet i loathe the most

you loathe a planet ? sounds intense... 😕
but I can see you have sagi venus... opposition to his venus - just as slutty but in different ways - joking !

what do you think was significantly different the last time you saw him or spoke to him ?

he sounds like a former cancer male colleague - dude takes so many sick days off, it's unbelievable !

Zalchemy - but I can see you have sagi venus... opposition to his venus - just as slutty but in different ways - joking !

I am not a slut but boy is it a good placement...it's restless and has no time for bullshit or waiting around for losers to make up their minds...in some ways its quite bad because we don't give enough time for anyone to show their true feelings..we are gone before they even realise..

Likebrad - loved your quote there about sitting nowhere, doing nothing in the land of nobody or something to that effect...made me laugh out loud..sooo true!..
hahaha...What is 1979 a year of? i don't know if its rat..

Leokitten...I know and I really appreciate all your thoughts..but your guy is a lot older and responsible..Your guy also has a venus in taurus..stable placement, whereas mine has the worst venus position..gemini..if they aren't playing around, they are flighty..have always loathed this placement..don't trust them. And without trust theres not much point...although he doesn't strike me as the player..I just get the feeling he isn't..don't know why.

By pandora's box I meant you made the conscious decision to pursue this person and are now encountering some unforseen difficulties. What made you decide to do it in the first place.. you convinced yourself a long time ago cancers were a no fly zone for you?

I don't know where you got that i didn't like you. I don't even know you or remember you. Probably made a comment on your post somewhere on the scorpio board but too bad you took it literally to offend you. I hve better things to do then hate someone on these boards..

LK knows the situation and although I am a strong believer of "if you aren't getting the attention someone else is"..he doesn't strike me as the type..but it could possibly be the case. Can't rule anything out.

SRG: "What made you decide to do it in the first place.. you convinced yourself a long time ago cancers were a no fly zone for you?"

Well he came off as a Leo...and I like my Leos...but then he had an affectionate, caring, shy side..which I thought was cute..all is not lost...

LOL...Oh dear...some people have serious issues...

But I won't sink to your level..

LK..I don't mind the role of the advisor..I said that already..but your right he doesn't listen right away...but its the emotional distant that worries me.

I am not going to contact him anymore. Should he return I will say exactly that.

Likebrad..sheep/goat..yes that kind describes him..lol..well thanks all for your advice..shall see what happens...

Thanks again LK..i have one thing i will mail you about

Yeah, the cancerian ability to project opinionated asshole followed by caring and affection can catch anyone off guard.

You may have to wait a while now since you did contact him.. he'll be waiting for you to do it again.. whatever you do don't give in to doubt... that leads to weakness and the potential to make unwarranted phone calls :-)

I won't..thanks SRG. I will wait it out..I am brilliant at that..I wanted to make this call to see if he was ok..cos he was pretty down..he is quite draining emotionally...

But you are right, he is expecting me to give in and call..but I won't. Relationships are built on effort on both sides..one sided ones just don't work for me..

I am just worried when he does call, I would've gone all cold on him and it won't matter to me whether he's dead or alive..Will have to see

No I don't think you would suddenly go cold in any case.. you've already invested too much time and energy to do that. If i've learned anything from my relationships it's that sometimes you have to keep people you care about at a controlled distance on purpose to truly understand what makes those relationships worthwhile.. it's not good or bad it's simply what has to be done.

Cheers GB...you always make me laugh with your one liners..lol

It's pretty much over when doubt creeps into anyones mind..and it has.

SRG..I won't contact him but I can emotionally distant myself without a problem. You are right, distant makes you re-evaluate. He has a lot of work to do to regain my trust..I don't think he's cut out for hard work.

My ex Leo/cancer cusp I was with for 7 years. We had a rocky start but he was a brilliant boyfriend in the end..sadly I fell out of love and we ended things..but we still talk whenever he is in the country. He still wishes we could get back together but he was a older, more responsible in terms of job and creative and just generally lovely. Timing wasn't right for me..and that is crucial as well. His biggest problem was his controlling cancer mother. Boy she hated me..lol..I was taking her boy away from her..

Exactly, or as I like to say.. I love you at arms length and on wednesdays and thursdays.. after that you're on your own.

"just sit and wait to see what happens. thats all i gotta say."

I'm with you moon_eyes..umm...wanna some chips and soda??

*giving chips and soda to moon_eyes 😉while watching others*

uh uh... anyone else want to share?

Imacancer...Well said!!..why don't you get each and every one of those whiney ass bitches (as you quite rightly stated) and smack them up. I will join you. Let's kick the shit out of them one by one..have a marathon "kick the cancer whiney ass male" fest. Grow balls already.

Well we shall wait and see what happens. You snooze, you lose. I only have love for people who love me back. The rest can kiss my royal ass. I have never sat and waited for anything..So I am not about to start now. If he comes back, he'll have hell to pay..Bring on the ice queen extraordinaire..If he survives that and wants to still stick around then I might throw him a bone covered in dog muck.

Cheers all. I am sure this post will continue or not as and when he bothers to call..until then, farewell..

And blingers, never change!!..I am ROFL'ing with your comments...Hope the job situation is cool with you..still teaching?

LOL..Chance would be a fine thing with a shy virgin like that!..haha..If theres anyone doing the grabbing it will be me. His balls and twisting them so hard it makes him sob with pain.

No, if he tries that, then I will push him away. He isn't coming anywhere near me until he deserves it. Not even the touchy feely affectionate side anymore. He's been compartmentalised now. I have immense self control.

Are you dealing with an ass like that too?

"Silver spoon fed spoiled brats, with no clue on humanity. Compartmentalise that hon"

Oh dear, have I hit a nerve? I did date a leo and it was great..till I didn't love him anymore..I am no spoiled rat and I have all the clues on hunmanity. Moreso than the more humanatarian signs of the astrological make up..however, I don't give up the goods and run after a man begging and pleading for his affection. If he deserves it, he will get it ten-fold, if he doesn't he has to work damn hard for it. These are called standards where I come from. Begging and pleading is disgusting.

MM!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUDDY!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

What in the sam hill are you doing over here— lol

ooooo MM, if you wanted info about cancer guys then you should have asked me too 😄 My goodness, I've been back and forth with some and one I just left alone all together lol. But I think we are friends deep down, it just took time to determine what was best, you know?

Has the cancer guy disappeared on you yet?

"Are you dealing with an ass like that too?"

Yes, I just responded to you^^ dime a dozen in dxp land.

Blimey....didn't realise what I wrote affected you so much.

These are called standards where I come from. Begging and pleading is disgusting.

Hey, I'm with you, if he acts like an asshole after sex then you have to question whether or not the guy is worth it or not.

Blimey....didn't realise what I wrote affected you so much.

MM, trust me, its not just you, I get slammed all the time for no reason LOL!!! But I'm still smooth 😉

Hey cappysweetie....you lil darling..lol..thought I might find you here...are you still dealing with that bloody cancer of yours? LOL...you and him are meant to be togeher man..you just can't leave each other alone.

I saw you take the test over there on the Leo board..hehe..banging your head against the wall are we? still get cancer as a choice? hahahha..

Well it was inevitable wasn't it..as a scorpio to meet a cancer somewhere in my life.

Yes he disappeared..but it's Ok, he just called about an hour ago. Gave him a piece of my mind. He will probably disappear again no doubt. But I've said what I needed to say. No more repeating it. Only say it once. If he has a brain cell, he will give heed to the warning and not do it again. He apologised. Good..that's how it should be too.

How you keeping girlfriend?

I've not had sex with him. We haven't even kissed properly yet. It's good to wait for these things until you are sure..I aint dropping my panties for anyone..regardless of how good they are or might be.

I saw you take the test over there on the Leo board..hehe..banging your head against the wall are we? still get cancer as a choice? hahahha..

YEAH!!! I'm like fyckina!!!! lol, I don't want cancer to be my true love, I really don't but it seems to be that the dudes that I attract now ARE cancers lol. I'm not sure about virgos anymore and the scorpio dudes are hard to reac emotionally -- however, I do like one but he's engaged 😢

I have a light crush on this Saggie guy actually at the moment but I will see how that goes later.

hahaha, no I broke up with that gemini/cancer cusp guy a while ago, he has sine contacted me wanting friendship but I have to think about that ...

Yes he disappeared..but it's Ok, he just called about an hour ago. Gave him a piece of my mind. He will probably disappear again no doubt. But I've said what I needed to say. No more repeating it. Only say it once. If he has a brain cell, he will give heed to the warning and not do it again. He apologised. Good..that's how it should be too.

I wish I would have understood this in 2006/2007 hahahaha, I should've got rid of that slug long before I did. But you know, he seems to be a different guy now, like I said, he wants to be friends and I'm game. He called some weeks ago and I didn't return his call simply because ... I don't know, I'm not too sure lol

How you keeping girlfriend?

Well MM I'm going absoluately CRAZY and out of my MIND!!!!!!!! But other then that, I'm peachy 😛

I've not had sex with him. We haven't even kissed properly yet. It's good to wait for these things until you are sure..I aint dropping my panties for anyone..regardless of how good they are or might be.

YEAH!!!! *high-five* I'm the exact same way 😄 I may not be as popular among the boys being this way but you know I will be thankful when I'm older.

Its that gemini in the chart...I think you need one in his bloody 50's to handle that..otherwise FECK OFF..hate anything with gemini in its chart..no offence to anyone here...so flighty..as a scorpio I need brutal honesty..give me the harsh facts..you may not be able to handle it, but I was born to!

Sagi's are lovely. I have a lot of sagi friends, my brother is one also..lots of female friends but I don't think they are as bad as gemini's..they just get a bad rep. They are outrageous flirts but thats about it really..I should know..have sagi venus..I know my limits.

Well Cancers are your polar opposites..opposites attract and all that. One of my of my really good cappy friends was married to a gemini.they divorced now..she met a cancer and she couldn't be happier..they got married 2 years ago. Good on her!.

Virgo's are too anal retentive for me. Too nit picky...I have yet to come across one male virgo that I actually think I like..too critical.

One of my of my really good cappy friends was married to a gemini.they divorced now..she met a cancer and she couldn't be happier..they got married 2 years ago. Good on her!.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!! Don't tell me that LOL!!! I won't do it! I won't submit lol!!!!!

My goodness, who am I kidding I love those cancer dudes, they just can't make up their minds. I've experieced one more since the Gemini/Cancer cusp but he was a hot-head lol. He blood boiled like mad -- he was a cancer III (aka 3rd decan). More the likely if I marry it may be a cancer ... I hate to admit but it seems to be written in the stars lol.

LOL...predictable, transparent - the cancerous tumor looking for more allies throughout DXP, for her "click" because she is a friggin coward to stand on her own. You are a piece of work. PATHETIC...:-)

hahahahahaha, what in the hell are you on about? I'm not thinking about you but its care that you are thinking about me lol.

I suggest if you are slating me you omit the word "hon" from your observations. It slightly contradictory.

Thanks all the same. I am 5 X Scorpio but a very direct one with all planets mostly in house 1. So I come across very leo/aries in my demeanour. Sorry you got the worse end of the bargain. LOL.

well that is just a tad bit ridiculous.

Leokitten, she just pissed because I refuse to battle with her -- she one of those crazies that takes politics waaayyyyy too personal lol. Those that don't agree are terrible.

I say what I have to say and I'm done but she wants an arguement and I'm not doing it 🙂

hahahahaha, hi GB 😄

LOL..Oh my...I thought all the scum gathered on the Scorpio board...I can name 3 right off the bat..didn't realise they breeded over here too...

that's why i like the leo board..so fresh so clean (as erm..who sung that tune?...oh yeah..Outcast!!)

LOL @ GB..hahah

lol, you are a loopy old woman 😉 Following me around the boards just because you have nothing better to do lol.

wassup, cappy.

Everything dude 😛 I have so my typing to do for that research project. I got alot done this weekend but 15 papers is a bugger

virgogotme, you should ask yourself why you are here -- you are the one trying to cause trouble 😉

If I log-off in an hour or five minutes, you will too ... then log back on when I return LOL!!!!!!!!!!!