fullwaterpisces
@fullwaterpisces
11 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 3 · Posts: 1574 · Topics: 50
Trust - Is it posible—
^ Idk what she's talking about.
That's a no. If I open myself & give to a person and they turn around and bite my hand that's it. I'm done. What's there to trust? Lol the person already tried me once I need no more proof.
That's a no. If I open myself & give to a person and they turn around and bite my hand that's it. I'm done. What's there to trust? Lol the person already tried me once I need no more proof.
Posted by Pearls
^ Idk what she's talking about.
That's a no. If I open myself & give to a person and they turn around and bite my hand that's it. I'm done. What's there to trust? Lol the person already tried me once I need no more proof.
I agree with u, but here is still something i wanna add. It's that We usually don't 100% trust people, and it's also impossible for u to get us to trust u completely. However, if u do something to hurt us, even it's either accidental or intentional, we just can't trust u anymore. (for me, i'll label u as bad people)
No, once the trust is broken, it's nearly impossible to get it back. Time isn't the problem. The problem is that we remember almost everything, good and bad, and it can't be erased.
and one thing, if u stab from my back and hurt me really really bad, I'll do as hard as i can to make everyone hate you and let the society judge your behavior. (it's my extreme dark side)
So in other words cancers believe humans are perfect creatures who dont mess up... And if they do, they are evil creatures from hell and deseve to die...
I thought the trust would be able go regain depending on the level of the transgretion... Some cancers tends to feel hurt very easily overeact...
So out curiosity— then my next question will be what do you expect from people when you cancers are the offenders?
I thought the trust would be able go regain depending on the level of the transgretion... Some cancers tends to feel hurt very easily overeact...
So out curiosity— then my next question will be what do you expect from people when you cancers are the offenders?
Posted by fullwaterpisces
So in other words cancers believe humans are perfect creatures who dont mess up... And if they do, they are evil creatures from hell and deseve to die...
I thought the trust would be able go regain depending on the level of the transgretion... Some cancers tends to feel hurt very easily overeact...
So out curiosity— then my next question will be what do you expect from people when you cancers are the offenders?
Of course people aren't perfect. But it really depends on what action broke the trust. If it's a minor thing, we might let it slide, but we'll file that info away, and quietly not trust that person as much. If they keep repeating the behavior, we'll eventually revoke trust more and more. Outright get caught back stabbing and it's out to the curb forever.
At work situations are different once management breaks trust I will never trust them again. With people in my personal life I don't hold grudges I really don't recall getting angry enough that I cut them off.
Do Cancers like to admit we make mistakes? Begrudgingly we do :S
Do Cancers like to admit we make mistakes? Begrudgingly we do :S
Posted by MoonArtistOf course people aren't perfect. But it really depends on what action broke the trust. If it's a minor thing, we might let it slide, but we'll file that info away, and quietly not trust that person as much. If they keep repeating the behavior, we'll eventually revoke trust more and more. Outright get caught back stabbing and it's out to the curb forever.click to expand
See that sounds more reasonable... In other words... Nothing is black and white...
Posted by fullwaterpisces
So in other words cancers believe humans are perfect creatures who dont mess up... And if they do, they are evil creatures from hell and deseve to die...
I thought the trust would be able go regain depending on the level of the transgretion... Some cancers tends to feel hurt very easily overeact...
So out curiosity— then my next question will be what do you expect from people when you cancers are the offenders?
u are absolutely right. it depends on different cancers and different levels of the transgression, so that's why i said, "if u do something bad to hurt us really really bad", which means we can still forgive people.
for ur new question, i think...
people who i hurt will try to kill me. =/
Posted by fullwaterpiscesPosted by MoonArtistOf course people aren't perfect. But it really depends on what action broke the trust. If it's a minor thing, we might let it slide, but we'll file that info away, and quietly not trust that person as much. If they keep repeating the behavior, we'll eventually revoke trust more and more. Outright get caught back stabbing and it's out to the curb forever.
See that sounds more reasonable... In other words... Nothing is black and white...click to expand
Some things are black and white, and others aren't. In your situation, they are not black and white, and frankly, your Cancer friend seems like a selfish people user who isn't very mature and doesn't know what she wants.
No my dear MA... That person is out this context of this question... She is not past but for our last conversation i just realize that she wants me to crawl and beg... And at the end of the day after all this time... I got my closure, the guilt i felt for my situation went away... I have dont the right thing and my conciense is now clear
im a very curious person, and thanks to that person i got into research more about cancer people... And that makes me wonder because i do want to experience another cancer but i dont want to screw up again... I like the conection we water signs have... I identify more with cancers that with pisces... For some reason actualy i can get along with many of my fellow sign
im a very curious person, and thanks to that person i got into research more about cancer people... And that makes me wonder because i do want to experience another cancer but i dont want to screw up again... I like the conection we water signs have... I identify more with cancers that with pisces... For some reason actualy i can get along with many of my fellow sign
That sounds like a very controlling and cruel thing for her to want, especially considering the situation and the supposed transgression. For me, personally, I don't want begging and crawling. Degrading someone I care about doesn't sit well with me. Stab me and betray me and I'll methodically, coldly kick that person out of my life, but I won't make anyone grovel for me. I think it comes from the perspective that I won't grovel for someone else, so I don't want others to do that, either.
I'm glad you got your closure on that mess, though. Keep your heart open. There are good people who are genuine and don't use people.
I'm glad you got your closure on that mess, though. Keep your heart open. There are good people who are genuine and don't use people.
It depends on what you did to break the trust, how you tried to fix it,how soon you tried to fix it, how sincere you were with the apology, if you show behavior that proves you've honestly fixed the issue, if you spread rumors or involved others in the mix of the problem and lastly, how much they care about you.
Posted by StarMooney
It depends on what you did to break the trust, how you tried to fix it,how soon you tried to fix it, how sincere you were with the apology, if you show behavior that proves you've honestly fixed the issue, if you spread rumors or involved others in the mix of the problem and lastly, how much they care about you.
So I can remember if it was you who told me before in one of my other threads, that when a cancer is too hurt and distant with a person it means that, the person means a lot to them? and that's why they are hurt to begin with?
... And that's why I said (in another post) you cancer people are so confusing yet so interesting, and so deep and rich, yet to hard to keep in good standing... hard to approach
Yes, that's true. But I thought the subject was about the possibility of trusting again or not, not if the cancer loves you or not.
I am a cancer with a capricorn ascendant and while I do remember everything and forgive, I do hold grudges for a while but not forever. Cancers don't hold grudges - is just that once we have learnt a lesson we try our best to not have it happen again. We give other people many chances again and again but after enough is enough, we will bring up all issues of the past and use it as ammo in the argument. Yes, we have a very dark side of revenge but i don't think it is as extreme as most people believe. We would rather move on to something else and focus on what makes us happy. Concerning trust issues, yes, we do have issues with that and it does take a partner to step up and show love for us to trust. lovers need to remind cancers of their love over and over again - stop doing that and we will begin questioning before looking for fun elsewhere. that does sort of make us high maintenance but the rewards exceed the required effort.
Posted by StarMooney
Yes, that's true. But I thought the subject was about the possibility of trusting again or not, not if the cancer loves you or not.
The only reason I brough that up was because we all know cancer walk sideways and backward but never front, and they can pretend sometimes to be cool and they don't care about you which is sometimes makes hard to know exactly how much they care, yeah they do show, but my experience they are hot and cold... so is confusing, and that part is important in the process to regain trust.
Posted by generous85
I am a cancer with a capricorn ascendant and while I do remember everything and forgive, I do hold grudges for a while but not forever. Cancers don't hold grudges - is just that once we have learnt a lesson we try our best to not have it happen again. We give other people many chances again and again but after enough is enough, we will bring up all issues of the past and use it as ammo in the argument. Yes, we have a very dark side of revenge but i don't think it is as extreme as most people believe. We would rather move on to something else and focus on what makes us happy. Concerning trust issues, yes, we do have issues with that and it does take a partner to step up and show love for us to trust. lovers need to remind cancers of their love over and over again - stop doing that and we will begin questioning before looking for fun elsewhere. that does sort of make us high maintenance but the rewards exceed the required effort.
I keep hearing "we give people many many chances" so that means that one day you guys can say, " I don't want to be around X person", and then try again?
Fullwater, that's a good point. Sadly, cancers are not overly blunt with their many many warning signals and when it starts to get really bad, they will start to verbally give you warning signals. Then once they have finally entered the cut off point or when they will start developing serious trust issues, you have probably have only begun to understand the depth of the cancer and realize just how soft their heart actually was. But as far as if they will trust again, it all depends on a lot of things.
Posted by Iwill
BUT I learn more and more, that he still doesn't trust me one bit. He wont be alone with me in a room, apparently don't trust my judgement and that I'm not going to try and hook up with him nd/or is capable of saying no to him, knowing he has no feelings for me.
The game of rebuilding trust, as it has been a game to him, even though he don't realize, is a never ending test, where the right answer to the test changes all the time. Impossible to make things right again.
I have gotten ovr the fact, that he never made us official, after these coupld of years, and I thought he had gotten over his trust issues with me, but he hasn't. And I don't believe he ever will.
You've been the only one playing games Iwill
A Cancer will trust you to be yourself. If you have demonstrated the same behavior over and over... we will take those ACTIONS into account, not your words. Even if you believe your own words, a Cancer can sense intuitively the intent behind your actions. This is unique to the Crab, we're really, really good at it.
It's not a test that you can never pass it's just we can see you!
The fact you are tying to be alone with him, or questioning why he won't be alone with you... is all the he needs to see. WHY do you want to be alone with him? Why do you want to put yourself in that position? Why do you care? All with the hope you can eventually get back to being a couple or into his bed, this is your end game. He already knows this... this is what I meant by —positioning??.
And you know what else he probably knows? That when it becomes clear to you that you will in no way be able to get back with this guy... you will drop out of his life AGAIN and abandon him. He can't even trust your —friendship?? because it is not genuine. You will only be friends with him IF there's some slight chance you could be more in the future.
That's so selfish. You have zero respect for his feelings and he has more respect for your feels than you do yourself. He's smart enough to protect the both of you. Nope, you can't be trusted to be anything different than who you are. He'll enjoy your fo-friendship until you cut out again.
You came on here a while before talking about how he won't let you into his apartment to even pee. The next time you see him, you invite him to your place "just" to see it and the park? Who are you trying to fool?
You set up the situation to *see* if he would be alone with you, because you were already asking about it... Your whole intent was to test your theory. You are not genuine at all. You could have just had the conversation with him... but you chose action and your ACTIONS are not trustworthy.
He may be doing some testing to you *mirror, mirror* and all but please don't come crying about how he can't trust you when your day-to-day actions are suspect. You can *reason* your explanation(s) thread after thread, post after post but you are still transparent to Crabs and blind to yourself.
You set up the situation to *see* if he would be alone with you, because you were already asking about it... Your whole intent was to test your theory. You are not genuine at all. You could have just had the conversation with him... but you chose action and your ACTIONS are not trustworthy.
He may be doing some testing to you *mirror, mirror* and all but please don't come crying about how he can't trust you when your day-to-day actions are suspect. You can *reason* your explanation(s) thread after thread, post after post but you are still transparent to Crabs and blind to yourself.
Posted by Iwill
Hiya Shellshocker.
I just wanted to show him my place for 2 minutes, and then show him the beautiful park out here🙂 But it makes me sad, that he STILL does not trust me with this.
Posted by Iwill
No. I haven't invited him out here. I just told him, I would like to one day, but that I wont push for anything.
click to expand
flip flop, flip flop... your intent is exactly the same. Manufacture a situation in order to prove yourself trustworthy. Let me guess, in order for him to "prove" you are real friends... he should be alone with you?
u.r.transparent
Posted by Iwill
Like many of you cancers say: the relationship will never be the same. That's ONE thing, we should be able to agree on Shellshocker, but ofcours you don't have to. And maybe you see the situation differently in regards to fullwaterpisces. ...
In true honesty, I believe when is about rebuilding trust or a relationship with anyone regardless which sign... You will never which things to be the same... is failure is going back to make the same mistakes... I want and strive for a better one... and good things and long lasting ones take time and more importantly effort at least taking the first step to engage the communication.
I have been saying on and on that for me (maybe because of my cancer placements) actions speaks louder than words... so my next question on this regards is...
After screwing up with a cancer, obviously it will be all shelled up and guard up to the top... no matter what you say they will only believe what they believe... (maybe justifiable in some cases)
how to show a cancer you are more than words...
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