shock horror!! The little sistsr is listening!!!

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by scoripoblood93 on Wednesday, October 8, 2014 and has 7 replies.

Profile picture of scoripoblood93
@scoripoblood93
12 Years

In my last post to you lovely crabs, i was telling you about my relationship with my baby sister.

we have always fought and argued growing up. When I tried to give her advice she would disregard it as if it were yesterdays newspaper.

hence why when i got a phone call the other night crying her eyes out and asked FOR MY ADVICE i was shocked and a little impressed. I gave her my advice and she followed it and came out with the result she wanted.

Is this a new beginning of our relationship?

Profile picture of shellshocker
@shellshocker
16 Years1,000+ Posts

sounds like you want a relationship where as long as she listens to you and does what you advise, you'll stop fighting and get along

don't hold your breath

Profile picture of scoripoblood93
@scoripoblood93
12 Years

Its not so much that. I just want to be more of a big sister to her and for her to be accepting of it

Profile picture of shellshocker
@shellshocker
16 Years1,000+ Posts

I definitely think her taking your advice on this issue and following through to good results will change how she views your relationship. Most people need to learn by their own mistakes first before they will consider another path, regardless of sign.

The way you say things over what is said is often a big factor for Crabs. If it comes off domineering, or I told you so... the usually response is "don't boss me."

Perhaps, be open to listening to her without offering direction but respond with advice if she asks for suggestions. That's a good way to further build on trust and rapport.

Profile picture of scoripoblood93
@scoripoblood93
12 Years

I'll take that. I am scorp and I fo have a "I told you so" or a "should have listen to me and you wouldn't be in this mess" attitude to most things. When she did take my advice though I simply said " Well done. I'm happy for you"

I wonder how she takes what I tell her though. I tell her on a regular basis that I love her and I will always be around when she needs me but I know when trying to help her I can be condisending. My older brother (( also a crab but I get on well with him and we're really close)) loves to remind me that she is young and has to make her mistakes and I cant protect her from the big bad world all the time.
But that's all I want to do.
Me and my 3 siblings never had the best up bringing. My oldest brother brought my crab brother up. My crab brother brought me up and early in my childhood I brought my sister up as our parents weren't around but when my sister and I were in care I felt I had to protect her from everything and everyone. I sometimes feel she resents me for it. I've asked her once and her answer was simply "what, like you are now?"

Profile picture of shellshocker
@shellshocker
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Hmm, are you a little resentful you had to take care of her and now still "feel" like it's your responsibility to protect her? Perhaps she wants more of a sisterly relationship with you as opposed to a parental-child one, like it was in the past. It doesn't still have to be that way

Profile picture of VirgoDragirl
@VirgoDragirl
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by scoripoblood93
I'll take that. I am scorp and I fo have a "I told you so" or a "should have listen to me and you wouldn't be in this mess" attitude to most things. When she did take my advice though I simply said " Well done. I'm happy for you"

This attitude you need to lose. That is not "Big Sister" attitude. Taking credit for what your sibling did because of your advise is just petty.

Profile picture of VirgoDragirl
@VirgoDragirl
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by VirgoDragirl

Posted by scoripoblood93
I'll take that. I am scorp and I fo have a "I told you so" or a "should have listen to me and you wouldn't be in this mess" attitude to most things. When she did take my advice though I simply said " Well done. I'm happy for you"

This attitude you need to lose. That is not "Big Sister" attitude. Taking credit for what your sibling did because of your advise is just petty.

click to expand

What I meant to say is as "Big Sister" drop this attitude: ""I told you so" or a "should have listen to me and you wouldn't be in this mess"".

I'm a "Big Sister" to two bros but I'm retired.