Um, does he need space, or was this a goodbye?

Cancer men, or women with experience with Cancer men, please give me some advice.

The cancer man I've been talking to for four months sent me this message almost two weeks ago - I haven't responded because a) I feel that's respecting what he needs b) I have so much to say I would want to say it to him, no texts c) it may be a way of him saying goodbye?

Background: I'm separated and he's single. I think he's afraid of getting hurt. He had originally told me - based on our crazy strong attraction - that he didn't want a relationship and just wanted a FWB situation. And I did too. Neither of us are in a position for a LTR right now. But then when we were together (only once before he left for a work trip) it was more than an attraction, it was a crazy strong connection. All our communications afterward were great, and then he got a little quiet. I sent him a few light messages every five days or so, just saying I hoped work was going well, hoped he was enjoying his time in a new city, and then I was honest and said I couldn't stop thinking about him. Twelve days ago, at 4 am he sent me this:

"I know it feels like I have fallen off the grid. Partly that is because I've been crazy with work, but mostly it is because I feel what I am doing is wrong. My friend is heartbroken because his wife is cheating and that has hammered it home for me, so I'm sorry if I don't respond but that's where my head is."

He's gone into his cave on me before whenever we admit to feelings, so I'm used to 7-10 days of no communication.
Nothing like strangers to give it to me straight, though. Is he done, or is he processing? Do I respond?

Two weeks and you haven't responded to a text....or called? That's insane. Anyways did he know you were married when you got together or did you tell him you were married but separated or did you hide it until later? That would explain the feelings of guilt. He knows it's not right. And if you told him after you two fell for each other then height feel betrayed and that you would probably do the same to him. Cancers are for the most part moral/traditional/family oriented people. They value honesty they value marriage and commitments they value bonds. If you broke those bonds even if separated he might look at you some type of way and feel he's also wrong. Cancers are close with emotions so they can know what it would probably feel like to get cheated on and that makes them feel guilty. Guilt really fucks with their minds and makes them anxious and depressed. Guilt is one thing they cannot shell on. A lot of time the downfall of cancers is guilt or feeling responsible for things they really should feel responsible for. And you encourage him to be distant with you by being so distant with him.

This is very similar to the situation I am in. A few differences, but still. I think you better reach out to him if you want to ever hear from him again. You will probably need to reach out more than one time. Guilt is terrible. If you allow him to forget you he will. He needs reminders.

He absolutely knew I was/am married and he came on strong anyway, then started having reservations, then was cautious, but we had frank conversations and he seemed fine with everything.

I think he confided in his friend about us seeing each other, and his friend is going through this awful time, and somehow he feels like this is wrong but I am not sure why. He knows my situation, so I'm not sure why he's comparing.

Also, he did say "sorry if I don't respond" so I literally took that as what he wanted... not to hear from me. I am not playing games. I thought he wanted space. I am itching every day to talk to him.

In my opinion he is processing, but your actions will probably play into how he processes. If you don't show him anything I think that will give him his answer. I really think you should at very least drop him a line. Even his words, "I'm sorry if I don't respond" indicate that he does expect you will contact him.

Ahhh. Okay. I literally bounced back and forth over the word "don't." I was like, if it said "sorry if I didn't respond" than that would mean messages already sent. But because it said, "sorry if I don't respond," I took that to mean anything I sent after that.

It was 4 am. He was tired and possibly drunk. There were typos. He never makes typos. lol

Like I said, I just wanted to respect his need to process, which is very different than my need to immediately clear the air. I've learned from a lot of people here that this is normal for Cancers. He has been very true to his sun sign. Don't know what his other aspects are.

Sent a text. We'll see what happens.

Bump. He didn't respond... I guess it was goodbye.

I can't wait to hear from him anymore - it's been torture, and now it's been three weeks since I heard from him, and yes, okay, three days since I replied but if he was relieved to hear from me I can't imagine he would take any more time to get back to me than three or four days.

Tomorrow is his only day of the week off. So if I don't hear from him tomorrow, officially after that I have to pretend nothing ever happened. Maybe all Cancers give off a vibe of having a strong connection but actually don't feel it. I've only had the feeling I thought we shared once or twice in my life.

You have the connection. I am not afraid to contact much more often unanswered, because I have learned I always will hear.....eventually. Although, during that waiting period I always question whether I will hear from him. Sometimes, when I do hear from my cancer it is after I have given him some time without contact. I do think sometimes you need to let them know how you feel and then let them think about it and miss you. I once waited a month. I have a feeling you will hear from him again. You might need to wait until your cancer's friend has a little time to heal from his situation. It feels terrible; I know.