May I please have your opinion? :/

I'd love to get my fellow crabs' input on this matter: Cancer Man is being cold and distant. I'm wondering if either he just doesn't want to be with me anymore, or if he's angry with me because I'm going to a concert with a friend I used to date...on his birthday (the Cancer's bday, not the friend).
I know the last part sounds bad, but in my defense my friend and I only dated a couple of months, and that was a year ago. He's in love with his girlfriend, and I showed Cancer Man my messages to Friend to show I have nothing to hide and we're strictly platonic pals. I even went to Cancer Man the day I found out about the concert and asked if he wants to do something for his bday because there's a concert I want to go to, but if he wants to do something I won't go. He jokingly said I'm abandoning him, but then seriously said if I want to go then go. So that's option one.
Option two is Cancer Man lost interest. A little background info: we dated for 3 months, then he got back together with his ex-girlfriend to be with their daughter (according to him). A month and a half later he came to me saying that was a mistake and he wants me. We started seeing each other again 2 months ago.
Things were wonderful the first month, but this past month, not so much. I've been seeing a lot less of him. I've seen him maybe 3 times in the last month (he said he's been busy). We were still texting daily, until a couple of weeks ago. So seeing him has decreased, and now so has contact. I've been feeling lately like I'm being kept around for sex because that's all we do on the rare occasion we see each other, though that's always been a big part of our relationship because I am a hypersexual woman. I told him about the concert a couple of weeks ago, but it's only been this last week that things have been bad. We barely talk (text) now. I saw him 3 days ago, though, and everything seemed fine, until I posted a pic of my concert ticket on fb, and the next day I posted an awesome song Friend sent me with the caption, "Thanks, ___ - you rock!" (Cancer Man hates my music, whereas Friend and I have the exact same taste.) Cancer Man has been cold and distant ever since.
So the concert is a possible reason for this behavior, but I told him I won't go if he doesn't want me to and he told me to "do whatchu want." Things were becoming different before the concert even came up, so loss of interest is another possibility. If roles were reversed, I wouldn't be happy about him going to a

*I wouldn't be happy about him going to a concert with someone he used to date on my bday, but I wouldn't treat him this way either.
I'd love to get your honest opinion on why you think he's behaving the way he is so I know if I should try to correct the issue, or accept he no longer wants to be with me and end it.

Umm yeah...this sounds like a lost cause I would just keep it moving if I were you. All the answers are right in front of you. You chose to not be with him on his b-day. He hates your music. Only thing you guys seem to have in common is sex. I don't think you really want to be with him either.

I do, though. That's why I took him back. Concerts are evening events. I told him we could do something that afternoon if I went. I gave him 3 different opportunities to tell me he doesn't want me to go, and he didn't.
You're right, though. Other than sex, being Cancers, each of us having a daughter (5 months apart in age), and a deep love for Journey, we don't have much in common. But that doesn't change the way I feel about him.
Nevertheless, if he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, they don't matter.
Thank you for your input.

Speaking from my own experience and how I know my dad to be (both cancerians) the saying that he's ok with you making plans with someone else on his birthday was a trap. I hate to admit it, but I'd probably also said that it's ok (and so would my dad) to play it cool, but I'd been hurt by the fact that my partner has even made other plans on my birthday and I'd be definitely sulking (my dad even more so). If I say "Do what you want" I'm already being resentful, implying that being there for me, is clearly not what the other person wants. But this sulking phase would be a temporary thing and it would eventually blow over. (Maybe not before the actual birthday though, and probably not a while after.)

I'd be more worried by the slowly detaching. I go through phases in which I need alone time, but they are usually sudden and brief. When I slowly detach (over weeks), it is because I start to doubt my feelings and the relationship itself. Or because the attraction is fading and I realize that it's not a match after all. (But in this phase I also have a hard time having sex with the other person, because it feels dishonest. I'm not a man though.) If it comes so far that I don't want to be close to someone anymore and actively avoid them for longer and longer periods, then it's a really bad sign. Confrontation might be the best way to find out. Since in this phase I'm so wrapped up in my own head, that I need the confrontation to come clean. Aggressive confrontation (something we cancers can take a while to muster up.)

I only ever dated one cancer and it was horrible.

Reading your post as written, a few data points:
1. This: "We were still texting daily, until a couple of weeks ago.", and then this: ' I told him about the concert a couple of weeks ago, but it's only been this last week that things have been bad"

Do you see a timeframe here between the two items? I do, assuming your two statements were accurate.

2. Then there is this:
"or if he's angry with me because I'm going to a concert with a friend I used to date...on his birthday (the Cancer's bday, not the friend).
I know the last part sounds bad, but in my defense my friend and I only dated a couple of months, and that was a year ago. "
Followed by this:
"*I wouldn't be happy about him going to a concert with someone he used to date on my bday, but I wouldn't treat him this way either. "
You obviously value the concert more. You wouldn't be happy if he did it to you, but turn around and do it to him. With a guy you used to date.

3. Then this:
"He's in love with his girlfriend, and I showed Cancer Man my messages to Friend to show I have nothing to hide and we're strictly platonic pals.'
Followed by this:
" I saw him 3 days ago, though, and everything seemed fine, until I posted a pic of my concert ticket on fb, and the next day I posted an awesome song Friend sent me with the caption, "Thanks, ___ - you rock!"
And then this:
"Cancer Man has been cold and distant ever since"

He obviously can see your FB posts. You know he can see them, and then have to wonder why he is "cold and distant"?

Then this:

"Nevertheless, if he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, they don't matter. "

Either you are truly tone deaf, or the rare heartless and selfish Crab.
And he either exercises poor judgement in his choice of women, or it truly was only about sex but he was letting his feelings get mixed in.

Damn... I messed up big time...
Thank you for your answer.

I'm definitely feeling like an @ $ $ hole. I tried fixing my f*ck-up by telling him I'm not going to the concert.
...whether or not it's too late remains to be seen.

Wow that's a shitty ass move. How would you feel if he did the same? Don't matter if you went morning or evening or if he said go or don't go. Birthdays-the whole day-is supposed to be special and you as his girl are supposed to honor him. Yes you fucked up. You basically told him-I know it's your birthday but I really want to go to this concert. I did ask you knowing you hate the music knowing you wouldn't want to do something like that especially on your birthday. But at least I did ask so I shouldn't have to feel guilty about it. Then on top of that it's will a ex! If it was another day but on his birthday! He told you to do what you wish hoping what you wish is to be with him and do something HE likes on HIS birthday. I don't even think it was a test. I think you put him in a bad spot because he wanted to give you the freedom to make your own decisions and he didn't want to look controlling and possessive and jealous and salty but at the same time he didn't want to ask or beg for your honor and respect on his birthday. And it has nothing to do with being a cance or a man. Anyone would be deeply hurt by that. And I can say yes if he been giving you distance since that's probably part of it. You should've just knew your man well enough to know that that was a bad idea and never even considered it. ESPECIALLY will a ex or any person of the opposite sex.

I understand that I was wrong. I made a mistake. How many times did I find out he was sleeping with his ex while we were together the first time before I finally got fed up and ended it? 3 or 4? At least I'm trying to rectify my one mistake a mere 2 days after buying the ticket by not going. If he can't forgive me for my one mistake, then I guess we're better off apart.

I don't think you should feel bad because the simple fact that he even got back with his ex before. Just plan to do something the day before/after the concert.

After a week of silence he finally reached out to me. I requested a chance to talk about what happened so I could make amends and try to earn his forgiveness, until I was informed of his infatuation (obsession) with a neighbor. I decided he's too high-risk and instead "walked away" (not literally, but you know what I mean).
Yes, I'm crazy about him and he is absolutely my Sexual Soulmate, but I can't be with someone I can't trust. I want a man who's self-sufficient (and doesn't continue living with his ex) and serious about being with me and ONLY me.
Despite my feelings for him, I truly feel in my heart that separating myself from him was the best choice.
Thank you all for your input with my issue. Consider the problem solved.

No matter what after that last post I think you're better off walking away. He is definitely messing with your head.

Is it me or is it you women? Moon child what did I miss? You sound like a dramatic problem child. You reached out to him to forgive him but you find out he's been giving some attention to a neighbor and you flip out and decide you don't trust him and you need to walk away from him-a man you supposedly loved? Which one are you? Jealous possessive or insecure. Unbelievable! I hope he moves on. No offense to you as a person tho

None taken.
I do have very strong feelings for him, but he doesn't seem to reciprocate, in my opinion. As I mentioned, he continued having sex with his ex while we were seeing each other the first time (3 months). I tried ending it but he wanted me to stay, so I did, only for him to dump me and go back to his ex (but of course wanting to remain friends with me as we Cancers often do). And he lied to me, by the way, about why he went back to her. A month and a half later he comes to me saying he made a mistake getting back together with her and wants me, so I gave him another chance, but nothing has changed. He still lives with his ex (hasn't even moved out of her bedroom), and is completely dependent on her. For all I know he could very well have continued having sex with her this time around as well, so of course when I was informed by a mutual friend of this neighbor with whom he's so infatuated (more of an "obsession" according to my friend), I became concerned. My friend referred to Cancer Man as a player, and considering everyone from friends to family think he and his ex are still together, I'm inclined to believe I have indeed been played. So yes, I'm walking away before I get even more hurt by this damn man.

I think you ahoukd just talk to HIM about what HES doing. I just talked to someone about this. What looks like one thing could be totally different on the inside. Even if it's true you need to talk to him. Stop talking to everyone else and stalking. Just talk.

Posted by M00Nchild
None taken.
I do have very strong feelings for him, but he doesn't seem to reciprocate, in my opinion. As I mentioned, he continued having sex with his ex while we were seeing each other the first time (3 months). I tried ending it but he wanted me to stay, so I did, only for him to dump me and go back to his ex (but of course wanting to remain friends with me as we Cancers often do). And he lied to me, by the way, about why he went back to her. A month and a half later he comes to me saying he made a mistake getting back together with her and wants me, so I gave him another chance, but nothing has changed. He still lives with his ex (hasn't even moved out of her bedroom), and is completely dependent on her. For all I know he could very well have continued having sex with her this time around as well, so of course when I was informed by a mutual friend of this neighbor with whom he's so infatuated (more of an "obsession" according to my friend), I became concerned. My friend referred to Cancer Man as a player, and considering everyone from friends to family think he and his ex are still together, I'm inclined to believe I have indeed been played. So yes, I'm walking away before I get even more hurt by this damn man.

Yup looks like it to me too. Sorry you're going through this. People suck.

He wants to see me on his birthday, so I'm going to be there for him, but I'm not having this conversation with him on his birthday. I will, though, in time.

Well just do what makes you happy without holding back. Even if what makes you happy is to walk away or be with him. Just don't deny yourself a chance to know what is what.