Want my cancer man back. Anyhow. Please help! 2

This is a continuation from my previous thread.

It has been eight days now. I still miss him every day, every hour. I feel awful about everything that happened and am so deeply sorry. We haven't had any contact since the accidental text.

I sorely miss him, all the time. Would texting him or trying to talk to him now make things worse? Do I wait for him to make the first move? Please help guys. I know I am getting annoying. I just miss him so fucking much!!!

this may not be what you want to hear but don't initiate contact with him.... it will only push him further away from you, trust me.

let him come to you.

go find stuff to do, other people to hangout with, occupy your mind. live on without him and it will all get easier for you.

What made him disappear? I am a Cancer woman and we don't just disappear without explanations unless we are ashamed or you broke our heart in pieces.

Jynja,

I already am running my own NGO for street children, and know the suffering and pain in the world. I am currently in India, working through the festive Diwali season working on providing shelter for homeless children and celebrations in the freezing cold. I don't have to go around advertising I care about the world. It sounds so judgmental to say, "oh look at your petty problems, there are bigger problems in the world". It doesn't work that way. You can't always look at other's suffering to ease your own pain. Try it. Let's see how many times it works. You get immune after a while. There will always be suffering in the world. There's only so much you can do. And only so much that will change. Yes, this is about ME! I'm not sitting in a room moping about him. I am still doing my duties, even if my heart hurts every minute. He knew all these things about me. He always said I was too good for him, and how he was in awe of me. Even when he wanted to go, he constantly kept saying why would I even want to fight for him, why was I shedding tears for him, that I'd get someone so much better and I have such a great life ahead. There is more to the story. I know it. Maybe he met someone else.

I know she is. I'm sorry if i sounded defensive. I'm just so tired at the childishness of this whole thing. We were finalizing wedding venues, writing each other the most romantic poetry fifteen days back.

I'm not going to sit and wait for him for years. I committed a mistake, I begged for forgiveness. I realized I did wrong. He did innumerable mistakes too. But that's what partners do. They forgive each other. That's what real love is. To forgive the other, and accept their flaws. He knows my love is genuine. He knows it is pure. I may have hurt him when I was hurt, but then I also held his hand, and cried on seeing him sad. If he finds it so hard to forgive me, and believe me when I say I repent and won't hurt him again, then I can't change anything. He's living in a delusion. He's the one who would rather go through this state of extreme hurt, work on getting over me, and go through years of struggle to find it all over again, when in my heart there is nothing against him.

What's the point of being hurt, when the other person genuinely repents and wants to make up for the wrongs? How pointless would it be to hold on to it? It's be so much simpler if he just forgave me and came home. And what are the chances the next girl wouldn't commit "mistakes" in their relationship. Would he then run from that too? It is human nature to make mistakes. He hurt me alot too. I forgot it the second he told me he's sorry. In today's date I cannot remember anything he did to hurt me. Not because he didn't punish me for things I didn't deserve, but simply because I let go off things. People have to have the heart to forgive. We spent over a year together learning about each other, understanding how to make each other happy, loving and supporting each other. If he could so easily throw it all away, then maybe it was all in my head. The relationship meant nothing to him ever and god has protected me here.

Sigh. The misunderstandings of limited information, and yet too much information 🙂

My chart -

Sun Leo
Moon Capricorn
Mercury Leo
Venus Libra
Mars Capricorn
Jupiter Pisces
Saturn Sagittarius
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Gemini
Asc node Aries

His Chart -

Sun Cancer
Moon Taurus
Mercury Leo
Venus Gemini
Mars Cancer
Jupiter Aquarius
Saturn Scorpio
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Taurus
Asc node Taurus

Please shed some light.

So he's never coming back? 😢 😢 😢 Isn't there anything I can do? This isn't ego, I really do and have wanted to spend my life with him. I love pampering him and taking care of him. I have learned his value the hard way. Will he really not return?

To be honest I have no hope he will ever return. Deep down I believe he never will. I am keeping myself distracted, but I miss him a great deal since he was my companion in everything, and our routines were synced. Like today while returning home I saw my watch and momentarily forgot abt everything. I automatically panicked that it's late and he must be home from work already. Time will heal things. I'm just giving myself each day at a time to get over him slowly and steadily.