What the hell happened?

What the hell happened?

Hmm.. My whole post disappeared. I guess i'll type it again.

I met this guy online who lives near me. We had seen each other before but when we became friends online I decided to keep my identity a secret. He is a Cancer and liked the game of trying to find out who I was. He kept making romantic overtures and asking me out even though he had no clue who I was. It kept up for about a week when I discovered that I really liked him. We had a lot in common and were usually up till at least 2 am each night talking. I decided to make things easier for both of us and told him who I was. He later texted me and asked if I thought that he was disappointed in who I turned out to be. I told him that I didn't know and he texted back that he wasn't. He even asked me out again, but sadly I had to decline the offer due to prior plans. That day we were texting each other a lot and he asked me if he could take a look at my car. I told him yes and we made plans to meet up later. A couple of hours later I got another text from him saying he was tired and was just gonna go home. I was disappointed and ended up not talking to him again that day. The next day he didn't text me as usual so I texted him. He seemed ok, just distant. He didn't initiate contact anymore, but would be friendly enough when I reached out to him. After a day or two of this I told him to call me regarding an issue that had nothing to do with our personal lives. It was the first time that we had spoken to each other and we ended up talking for 4 hours that night. The next day he seemed a little bit more normal. But we didn't talk as much and slowly he started getting distant again. Whenever I would talk to him it would almost seem like I was bothering him. That week I posted a bulletin on my myspace that had some questions for potential boyfriends. One of the questions asked was, Would you kiss me. His answer to the question was that he was beginning to think I wasnt his type. We really didn't talk much after that but when we did he would be nice enough, but distant. Only his online messages would be about having a girlfriend, how he is lonely and other stuff. The one that he had up on the day that he sent me the email was this: She just might get you lost
And she just might leave you torn
But she just might save your soul
If she gets you and she, gets you any closer

Can you believe your eyes?

Lately we have been talking a bit more and he has been mentioning that he wants and is looking for a girlfriend. He has admitted to me that he is kinda shy and that he is not really confident in his looks. Everyone that I have talked to who knows him describes him as being shy but really nice. What I wanna know is what happened? He seemed to really like me but then just did a complete 180. Is there any possibility of salvaging this or should I just try to be his friend?

"His answer to the question was that he was beginning to think I wasnt his type"

I don't know about cancer men but as for us girls, we usually say what we mean. Unless you said something that hurt him (and you would probably never know what you said) and he's crawling back into his shell, I would assume you listen to the actual words he say. Try this, if you haven't already, tell him you like him. Because if he really likes you, he has to know that you like him too before he let's his guard down completely. Remember underneath our hard shells there's a very sensitive body. And right now, for some reason, he doesn't want you in.

Aiye..sounds exactly the way a I would act. I'd agree with Sweetcrab, he prolly was taken aback by something you said or did or something thats goin on in that over-active imaginative mind of his - whether its real or not, he's distancing himself.

The thing with crabs is unless theyre damn sure about someone, they aint gonna go forward. My guess is that crab's got a bunch of girls hes flirting with - testing I reckon.... while he's distancing himself, he's off with another girlie.. it's not that hes devious or anything he's just trying to find the right one....

If you're really into this guy tell him you like him (if you do). There's nothing a crabby likes to hear more than that 😉.

So my best bet is to just be honest with him? I really wish I knew what happened. I am extremely cautious because I have been hurt so many times and he really didn't seem to like that. His philosophy is "Jump in with both feet". I guess our difference in opinions is what caused this, but I really wanna try to salvage what we had going on.

I'm with namelesscancer.

As a cancer man I'll say it definitely sounds like he's looking around a bit. One thing to watch out for in cancers though is that a cancer will give it their all up until we feel that it isn't worth it for us, then suddenly freeze up and drop out. This throws many people off because cancers will "give" a lot more of ourselves up front if the chemistry is going well. This doesn't mean you've got us, it just means that right now we don't have any reason to believe that you won't be the "one", and just in case you really are our IDEALISTIC CANCERIAN FANTASY that may be capable of giving us that "idyllic, romantic relationship of complete unity, understanding, and unconditional love" that keep ALL crabbies daydreaming all day and awake at night---he'll not want to mess it up----JUST IN CASE you are the ONE.

However, the MOMENT we feel that you may NOT be "the one" (something you did or said, something he realized, etc.), we will start A)pulling back AND B)looking elsewhere. This is almost guaranteed with 95% of cancers.

I'm wondering that maybe if this guy isn't sure about his looks he may think you are too attractive for him (if you're considered attractive). I think there's a 12% chance that's his issue....but I know neither of you so its a stab in the dark.