Why!!! and How (to female cancers)

Honestly, I am not sure why we feel the necessity to lie over pointless trivial shit. I suppose it's to make ourselves appear somewhat better than we actually are due to the fear of being judged. We may feel as if exaggerating something a bit may make it appear and/or sound better to others.

I attempt to say how I feel,but it's as if I get stuck and nothing can come out of my mouth. It's extremely difficult for me personally to open up to others ,but I give effort although it may not seem like it. We have to be sure of your feelings before we decide to say anything. For me, I am afraid of the situation being one-sided. The other person must be completely honest with me in order for me to take baby steps and do the same in return. Because of this I usually appear cold and distant. I can be quite apathetic actually ,but I will soon start caring more if I see that you are caring through your words and actions. We simply require a lot of patience; and I assure you it is worth it in the end for we can be the perfect significant other.

I disappear if I am deeply hurt or going through a traumatic incident of some sort. In relationships, I disappear if the other person has said something that has really offended me. After spending time alone, I am able to recover from it. Eventually as time passes in the relationship I am able to tell them upfront if I dislike a statement they made or question whether I took it the wrong way. I am very understanding if you simply explain yourself.

I mean I've let it be known what i want and she told me that tbats not what she wanted. She even told me i should go fuck someone else
but then we end up back in the same position...80% provoked by her. I admit I say somethings to hide my true feelings but for the most part I make it very clear what I want by showing her...but I don't want to dump how I truly feel on her...I'm scared it might be to much...but she knows i care about her.

I'm starting to think there should be a law passed to ban Libra Males from dating Cancer women. It's almost always an excruciating FAIL! Ever wonder why you rarely see these two in long term relationships/marriages? In a nutshell, this is why you are having problems:

WE. ARE. NOT. RIGHT. FOR. EACH. OTHER.!!!

Does that help?

If your even a white liar, your a liar period. If you can lie about the little stuff than you sure as hell will lie about the big stuff, and i could never trust you! Sitting around constantly wondering if your telling me the truth?? will only make me bitter and hateful and in the end i will leave your ass cold and not even have a feeling of sadness.

Posted by LunarMaiden
I'm starting to think there should be a law passed to ban Libra Males from dating Cancer women. It's almost always an excruciating FAIL! Ever wonder why you rarely see these two in long term relationships/marriages? In a nutshell, this is why you are having problems:

WE. ARE. NOT. RIGHT. FOR. EACH. OTHER.!!!

Does that help?

Lol this. Seriously. I think its HILARIOUS how this section gets so attention from people that are trying to understand their cancer mates.
Libra is probably one of the WORST pairings for Cancer. The energy aimed by the OP in regards to it is basically why. First of all,

>Cancer women can be manipulative
>Cancer women can side step major issues
>Cancer women can be indirect
>Cancer women can disappear once they've been hurt
>Cancer women don't like confrontation

That applies to many Cancers in general, but I'm honestly wondering what in the hell the backstory behind this is because making a thread under the assumption that ALL Cancers inherently reflect the worst traits of one have without clueing anyone in to what actually happened in the first place. All I'm getting from the OP is "WELL SHE DID THIS" and that's about it. Cancers rarely screw up someone's life without it being done as a defense mechanism, rather than out of spite. For example, Courtney Love was a Cancer and ended up cheating on her husband Kurt Cobain a number of times because she was tired of being his caretaker. So the worst of a Cancer's nature can come out when they feel that they've been backed into a corner. Thats when the claws come out.

So what the fuck did you do? Lol.

Posted by dalaryius
I mean I've let it be known what i want and she told me that tbats not what she wanted. She even told me i should go fuck someone else
but then we end up back in the same position...80% provoked by her. I admit I say somethings to hide my true feelings but for the most part I make it very clear what I want by showing her...but I don't want to dump how I truly feel on her...I'm scared it might be to much...but she knows i care about her.

>"I admit I say some things to hide my true feelings"

Even if you ARE clear about them some of the time, its best to just be very honest about how you feel about things with a Cancer. Don't have to be a douchebag about it, just say your words with caution and also try to understand why they'll react a particular way to it. It seems to me that...as jumbled as it is....She's either lying to you about her likeness for you and is scared of the reality of it OR she just wants the extra attention.

If you have feelings for her, be upfront about them. If she continues to pull you through all of this madness, is it really worth it? Because this is only the beginning. If she's acting this way right now, it might become increasingly more awkward as you become more intimate.

Posted by CancerianGoddess
If your even a white liar, your a liar period. If you can lie about the little stuff than you sure as hell will lie about the big stuff, and i could never trust you! Sitting around constantly wondering if your telling me the truth?? will only make me bitter and hateful and in the end i will leave your ass cold and not even have a feeling of sadness.

Honestly no, Its not even a lie. Its like, she always ask me "why are we doing this?" and I told her that I wanted more then just this fwb but she said we should date around and see what happens..but that she loves me and she never wants me out of my life. Fastfoward a month or two...and we get into a big argument because she lied and I called her out on it...then after
we had this long conversation about what this was and I asked her something along the lines of .."Why did you fuck me if you didnt want to be with me"...I told her I don't want anyone else...and thats when she said to go do that with someone else...and then I told her that I wanted to be her friend but its hard if I have feelings so I'm going to need space and I cut contact...we didn't talk for a month and then she contacted me saying we need to talk...but then she lost her phone....after 2 weeks of not being able to get a hold of her...i tried her facebook which she rarely uses ..and I got an answer. Then as soon as we met up...we ended up doing tha same thing...and are still doing tha same thing again..so we talked about it again and when I say I said things to hide my true feelings...I told her that I wasn't sure if I wanted a relationship...but that I care about her and that I only like being with her...i only act apathetic towards having a relationship because she does it...but atleast i have at one point, explicitly stated it.

When she disappears...its for no reason. We have a really good day together...Like I'll have seen her for a week
then she disappears for a long time...like 4-5 days like no contact what so ever...and before I'd try and hit her up but she didnt answer
so now I just wait...and she always shows up...even if I dont answer her phonecalls...she finds me.

Our past could be the only thing holding her back...but that was so long ago...like 4 years...since then I changed ALOT...and I changed from how I use to be towards her...what I mean is...I use to treat her like a friend who was a girl
now I treat her

It doesnt sound like she is interested anymore.. Want to get her attention, find someone else andtell her that person is the best, that should do it. Seriously, we like to be #1

Posted by CancerianGoddess
It doesnt sound like she is interested anymore.. Want to get her attention, find someone else andtell her that person is the best, that should do it. Seriously, we like to be #1

Well during that month of not talking...I got with someone else...I told her about it and she was just mad that I didn't tell her...but she claimed she wasnt mad at the fact that i slept with someone else...but because I slept with her after and didnt tell her...and when i mean after i mean a few weeks after...not tha same day lol. Then randomly she was like...i forgive you...and things went back to the way they were.

I also told her that I was trying to talk to a girl I work with...which was not to make her jealous...but to be honest with her...she really didnt say much she just asked a few questions.

she sounds nuttier than squirrel shit. DISMISS THAT HO! If you have question the motives of an "on again off again" relationship all remember it goes "off again" for a reason. Sometimes you gotta turn off the lights, lock the door and never look back. Especially with a cancer lady friend cause she'll continue to hang on if you don't cut off the claws.

Posted by thecontender
she sounds nuttier than squirrel shit. DISMISS THAT HO! If you have question the motives of an "on again off again" relationship all remember it goes "off again" for a reason. Sometimes you gotta turn off the lights, lock the door and never look back. Especially with a cancer lady friend cause she'll continue to hang on if you don't cut off the claws.

True shit....
Its just that she's been one of my closest friends for years and now shits ruined....ugghhh this is all fucked up.

Posted by dalaryius
I also told her that I was trying to talk to a girl I work with...which was not to make her jealous...but to be honest with her...she really didnt say much she just asked a few questions.

you slept with someone else AND told her you were trying to talk to another girl at work... what the hell did you expect her to do/say?

don't you know cancers need to be #1! i'd be playing your ass, too..

Thats what i just said Shellshocker, lmao i totally agree with your post. And hey dude, you heard it from 2 people! CANCERS "NEED" TO BE #1!!!!! You want to be loved by this girl? Respected? Defended? Loyalty? STOP Telling her you wanna bang other sluts, OR suffer the wrath. We are more territorial than Aries, and just as jealous as a Scorpio. Ever watch Serial Mom? That was a TRUE Cancer right there.. we will get pissed,not show it,smile.. bake you a fucking pie filled with rat poison and another pie for the police when they dhow up making us look innocent and you like the douche bag. Sorry, but if my Cappie told me he wanted to bang someone else, he would get banged by my iron skillet first! LOL... Good thing he is not a douche,and shows me love... BTW One white lie is a MAJOR Lie, we hate lies as much as Aries! If you can lie about something small well.... you can sure as hell lie about something BIG! I Can get over the truth if it hurts and grow to respect you, but a lie, i will always be wondering and questioning everything coming out of your mouth which will make me a bitter bitch.. when i am really a sweetheart, till you gona fucked it up!!!! ...Anyways.. good luck doll! 😉

Well Ive been trying to make her number 1...Ive asked her out right to be with me....She doesnt say anything...TRUST ME...Ive done everything to make her feel special...and it got me nowhere...so i tried a different approaches...at the end of the day i only want her...and I even told her that tha same I day I told her about me and tha other girl.

Posted by CancerianGoddess
Thats what i just said Shellshocker, lmao i totally agree with your post. And hey dude, you heard it from 2 people! CANCERS "NEED" TO BE #1!!!!! You want to be loved by this girl? Respected? Defended? Loyalty? STOP Telling her you wanna bang other sluts, OR suffer the wrath. We are more territorial than Aries, and just as jealous as a Scorpio. Ever watch Serial Mom? That was a TRUE Cancer right there.. we will get pissed,not show it,smile.. bake you a fucking pie filled with rat poison and another pie for the police when they dhow up making us look innocent and you like the douche bag. Sorry, but if my Cappie told me he wanted to bang someone else, he would get banged by my iron skillet first! LOL... Good thing he is not a douche,and shows me love... BTW One white lie is a MAJOR Lie, we hate lies as much as Aries! If you can lie about something small well.... you can sure as hell lie about something BIG! I Can get over the truth if it hurts and grow to respect you, but a lie, i will always be wondering and questioning everything coming out of your mouth which will make me a bitter bitch.. when i am really a sweetheart, till you gona fucked it up!!!! ...Anyways.. good luck doll! 😉

I was about to respond to the OP but I think this nailed it right on the friggin head 😛 lol