Would I be wrong to give him space?

My boyfriend for the last 2 weeks has been very distant he’s been pushing me away because he has been going through a lot in his personal life and I think he suffers with depression. I’ve been supportive as much as I can but it’s affecting our relationship where we aren’t speaking as much, and I will be hitting him up just to check on him and encourage him that I’m there for him etc and we will be fine.. but as a Pisces I’m very sensitive I overthink a lot so I started to think that I done something wrong and started acting off with him too which probably didn’t help. I left our last conversation which was 2 days ago as “have a nice rest of your week.” Because he wanted me to come over to see him but I couldn’t as it was late at night and I had work the next day, so he got upset with me about it. I probably shouldn’t have done that but I do feel like I’ve been there for him and he’s been grateful but he still continues to push me away and it’s making me feel a little rejected and insecure like he doesn’t love me anymore.

I’ve left him alone but I’m worried that if I don’t hit him up first we will never ever speak again. Shall I just leave him to it and not overbear him anymore than I probably have been doing.

Right now I just feel like I’m making all the effort whilst he’s in this shell mode. This is the first time I’m seeing him like this and it’s scary because I feel like if I leave him he will blame me for not being supportive enough and think I’ve moved on but if I constantly hit him up first the relationship will be one sided and then he will still continue to push me away. I can’t win.

Posted by Scheherazade

Was he ever really your boyfriend?

I thought you were just figuring out if he was even into you?

Yeah we made it official in the end.

Is this the cancer sun guy you posted about previously? So you guys made it official, did you give him an ultimatum?

Posted by CreativeCap

Is this the cancer sun guy you posted about previously? So you guys made it official, did you give him an ultimatum?

Yeah, we made it official and we’ve been fine ever since but he’s been battling a lot of demons from his past and he is constantly insecure he thinks I’m going to leave him etc I’ve constantly been trying to prove to him how much I love him in this relationship like I physically feel like I can’t live without him he brings me so much happiness and now this is happening

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Is this the cancer sun guy you posted about previously? So you guys made it official, did you give him an ultimatum?

Yeah, we made it official and we’ve been fine ever since but he’s been battling a lot of demons from his past and he is constantly insecure he thinks I’m going to leave him etc I’ve constantly been trying to prove to him how much I love him in this relationship like I physically feel like I can’t live without him he brings me so much happiness and now this is happening

click to expand

I think he feels smothered. Im not sure whether you gave him an ultimatum or pressured him into a relationship. I know you don’t want to hear this but he’s acting resentful because of it.

He’s using the ‘I’ve been hurt’

excuse to keep you groveling

at his feet. You should not keep having to prove you love him. That’s to one sided. That’s is why you feel rejected and Insecure.

You need to stop babying him and let him be a man. Be more Confident,

let him know that he is not doing you any favor by sticking around and making you feel like you owe him something because he agreed to be in a relationship with you. Tell him to get his act together or he’s going to lose you.

Posted by CreativeCap

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Is this the cancer sun guy you posted about previously? So you guys made it official, did you give him an ultimatum?

Yeah, we made it official and we’ve been fine ever since but he’s been battling a lot of demons from his past and he is constantly insecure he thinks I’m going to leave him etc I’ve constantly been trying to prove to him how much I love him in this relationship like I physically feel like I can’t live without him he brings me so much happiness and now this is happening

I think he feels smothered. Im not sure whether you gave him an ultimatum or pressured him into a relationship. I know you don’t want to hear this but he’s acting resentful because of it.

He’s using the ‘I’ve been hurt’

excuse to keep you groveling

at his feet. You should not keep having to prove you love him. That’s to one sided. That’s is why you feel rejected and Insecure.

You need to stop babying him and let him be a man. Be more Confident,

let him know that he is not doing you any favor by sticking around and making you feel like you owe him something because he agreed to be in a relationship with you. Tell him to get his act together or he’s going to lose you.

click to expand

Thanks girl. For now I’m just going to give him space and see if he comes back. I told him that if he needs me I’m here and before that I told him the same thing, infact I’ve made it clear 3 times. And the other day he messaged me 10pm whilst I was in bed talking about his car got stolen and he was upset and he wanted me to come over baring in mind he’s an hour drive from my house. I told him I couldn’t and he got upset—?? Then continued to push me away again. For now I am going to give him the space he needs but I just hope I’m doing the right thing by giving him space and not making him feel like I’ve neglected him.

Yep the cancer man i dated in the past got upset when I was unable to spend time because of work or other priorities. If you pull back for a little bit, he will come around. Hopefully he will get his act together

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Is this the cancer sun guy you posted about previously? So you guys made it official, did you give him an ultimatum?

Yeah, we made it official and we’ve been fine ever since but he’s been battling a lot of demons from his past and he is constantly insecure he thinks I’m going to leave him etc I’ve constantly been trying to prove to him how much I love him in this relationship like I physically feel like I can’t live without him he brings me so much happiness and now this is happening

click to expand

He's not ready for a relationship having all these "demons" and insecurities. That's a good recipe for struggle-love SMH If you haven't heard, it's exhausting.

Posted by CreativeCap

Yep the cancer man i dated in the past got upset when I was unable to spend time because of work or other priorities. If you pull back for a little bit, he will come around. Hopefully he will get his act together

Shall I wait for him to contact me first seeing as I have been reaching out to him as of late? I don’t want to be too much just in case it puts him off

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Is this the cancer sun guy you posted about previously? So you guys made it official, did you give him an ultimatum?

Yeah, we made it official and we’ve been fine ever since but he’s been battling a lot of demons from his past and he is constantly insecure he thinks I’m going to leave him etc I’ve constantly been trying to prove to him how much I love him in this relationship like I physically feel like I can’t live without him he brings me so much happiness and now this is happening

He's not ready for a relationship having all these "demons" and insecurities. That's a good recipe for struggle-love SMH If you haven't heard, it's exhausting.

click to expand

You’re right it is very exhausting. And he did explain in the beginning he wasn’t ready for a relationship and now I see why.

Posted by Generous_Libra

Posted by Klh1203

My boyfriend for the last 2 weeks has been very distant he’s been pushing me away because he has been going through a lot in his personal life and I think he suffers with depression. I’ve been supportive as much as I can but it’s affecting our relationship where we aren’t speaking as much, and I will be hitting him up just to check on him and encourage him that I’m there for him etc and we will be fine.. but as a Pisces I’m very sensitive I overthink a lot so I started to think that I done something wrong and started acting off with him too which probably didn’t help. I left our last conversation which was 2 days ago as “have a nice rest of your week.” Because he wanted me to come over to see him but I couldn’t as it was late at night and I had work the next day, so he got upset with me about it. I probably shouldn’t have done that but I do feel like I’ve been there for him and he’s been grateful but he still continues to push me away and it’s making me feel a little rejected and insecure like he doesn’t love me anymore.

I’ve left him alone but I’m worried that if I don’t hit him up first we will never ever speak again. Shall I just leave him to it and not overbear him anymore than I probably have been doing.

Right now I just feel like I’m making all the effort whilst he’s in this shell mode. This is the first time I’m seeing him like this and it’s scary because I feel like if I leave him he will blame me for not being supportive enough and think I’ve moved on but if I constantly hit him up first the relationship will be one sided and then he will still continue to push me away. I can’t win.

The problem is you are always there for him and he's smothered, he knows you love him that's why he's pushing you away because he probably thinks now you're expecting more from him, which you obviously are.

Cancer men would probably love you even more if you are a bitch to them.

Tough love is the word.

click to expand

True.

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Yep the cancer man i dated in the past got upset when I was unable to spend time because of work or other priorities. If you pull back for a little bit, he will come around. Hopefully he will get his act together

Shall I wait for him to contact me first seeing as I have been reaching out to him as of late? I don’t want to be too much just in case it puts him off

click to expand

What was the last conversation about?

Posted by CreativeCap

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Yep the cancer man i dated in the past got upset when I was unable to spend time because of work or other priorities. If you pull back for a little bit, he will come around. Hopefully he will get his act together

Shall I wait for him to contact me first seeing as I have been reaching out to him as of late? I don’t want to be too much just in case it puts him off

What was the last conversation about?

click to expand

It was leading on from him asking me to see him and then he got upset, the next day I replied to his message and told him that I can see he’s got a lot going on and I don’t want to be a burden so anything he needs whether it’s me giving him space or being there for him or if he wants me to stay with him for a few days whatever I can do that. He replied hours later saying that it’s ok I don’t have to stay he forgot I had work, I got upset because he replied to my message hours late, I was already upset because he’s been distant with me and it just got too much so I replied saying “I never said I was coming to stay today. Anyway have a good rest of your week” he read it and didn’t reply which is not like him he will always reply even if it’s an “ok” so yeah I left it there and haven’t spoke to him in 2 days

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Yep the cancer man i dated in the past got upset when I was unable to spend time because of work or other priorities. If you pull back for a little bit, he will come around. Hopefully he will get his act together

Shall I wait for him to contact me first seeing as I have been reaching out to him as of late? I don’t want to be too much just in case it puts him off

What was the last conversation about?

It was leading on from him asking me to see him and then he got upset, the next day I replied to his message and told him that I can see he’s got a lot going on and I don’t want to be a burden so anything he needs whether it’s me giving him space or being there for him or if he wants me to stay with him for a few days whatever I can do that. He replied hours later saying that it’s ok I don’t have to stay he forgot I had work, I got upset because he replied to my message hours late, I was already upset because he’s been distant with me and it just got too much so I replied saying “I never said I was coming to stay today. Anyway have a good rest of your week” he read it and didn’t reply which is not like him he will always reply even if it’s an “ok” so yeah I left it there and haven’t spoke to him in 2 days

click to expand

I think you should let him make the contact next bc you already told him how you felt and bc he’s acting distant. This kinda goes back to what I said earlier about coddling him while he’s brooding. It’s not healthy for either of you or the relationship. It’s exhausting for you and he’s not going to grow as a man as long as you baby him. Just be patient on this one. Cancers really know how to ignore. I know it’s going be a challenge for you as a Pisces, cause you are naturally forgiving. Resist the urge. Just give him a little more time to come around.

Posted by CreativeCap

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by CreativeCap

Yep the cancer man i dated in the past got upset when I was unable to spend time because of work or other priorities. If you pull back for a little bit, he will come around. Hopefully he will get his act together

Shall I wait for him to contact me first seeing as I have been reaching out to him as of late? I don’t want to be too much just in case it puts him off

What was the last conversation about?

It was leading on from him asking me to see him and then he got upset, the next day I replied to his message and told him that I can see he’s got a lot going on and I don’t want to be a burden so anything he needs whether it’s me giving him space or being there for him or if he wants me to stay with him for a few days whatever I can do that. He replied hours later saying that it’s ok I don’t have to stay he forgot I had work, I got upset because he replied to my message hours late, I was already upset because he’s been distant with me and it just got too much so I replied saying “I never said I was coming to stay today. Anyway have a good rest of your week” he read it and didn’t reply which is not like him he will always reply even if it’s an “ok” so yeah I left it there and haven’t spoke to him in 2 days

I think you should let him make the contact next bc you already told him how you felt and bc he’s acting distant. This kinda goes back to what I said earlier about coddling him while he’s brooding. It’s not healthy for either of you or the relationship. It’s exhausting for you and he’s not going to grow as a man as long as you baby him. Just be patient on this one. Cancers really know how to ignore. I know it’s going be a challenge for you as a Pisces, cause you are naturally forgiving. Resist the urge. Just give him a little more time to come around.

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Thank you I already knew the answer in what to do just needed confirmation. Thank you!

Posted by tiziani

i don’t get this website sometimes and why this story is a-ok with everyone.

if you know someone is going through depression, roping them into a commitment is just taking, not giving.

at least you say you see why he said he’s not ready for a relationship.

I did say it. And I never roped anyone in to anything if he didn’t want to commit he wouldn’t have. Something made him commit to me. Gosh. People on this site there’s no pleasing them, I was told on this site to speak to him about my issues because he isn’t a mind reader and I did and it ended up in me being a girlfriend not just a fwb then now I’m being told I “forced” him. Just admit yall hide behind anonymous pictures on these forums and take out your negative energy on to people who are desperate for advice.

I suffer with my own personal demons too.

If I had come on here and said something different like “we still fwb and he’s acting distant” then there would be still another sarcastic passive aggressive comment from someone like you on here. Just give it a rest, please!

Any other commenters who are going to be passive without giving advice just to be an online bully or the class joker in front of their internet friends can go on another thread, thanks!

This sounded like my story to the dot. All I gathered from this thread was give him space and tough love. Been three days now, no contact and he hasnt even read my messages sent two days back. Although my whatsapp statuses have been seen! I had to rely on other friends to put my mind at ease.

I will wait for a week, getting on with my own life is tough when all I have is him on my mind!

Posted by vaanyac

This sounded like my story to the dot. All I gathered from this thread was give him space and tough love. Been three days now, no contact and he hasnt even read my messages sent two days back. Although my whatsapp statuses have been seen! I had to rely on other friends to put my mind at ease.

I will wait for a week, getting on with my own life is tough when all I have is him on my mind!

Just wait for him to respond to you, if he hasn’t responded to your text do not text him again.

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by vaanyac

This sounded like my story to the dot. All I gathered from this thread was give him space and tough love. Been three days now, no contact and he hasnt even read my messages sent two days back. Although my whatsapp statuses have been seen! I had to rely on other friends to put my mind at ease.

I will wait for a week, getting on with my own life is tough when all I have is him on my mind!

Just wait for him to respond to you, if he hasn’t responded to your text do not text him again.

click to expand

Yes, I wont, I am struggling, stupid Pisces trait, but I am ready to let him go now, if he wants to. I drove over for two hours to wish him birthday in person, not a single text saying thanks for the presents or anything. Nothing. Emotions blur me sometimes, but if he is OK to let me go, I should be OK too.

Thank you for replying Klh1203