My cancer man doesn’t trust me

I have been seeing him for nearly 4 months and he just doesn’t trust me at all.

Last weekend I stayed with him for 3 days and he opened up to me a lot about his childhood and past traumas and also about how he finds it hard to trust women so he’s learnt not to attach himself to women.

I found it quite contradicting though because when he’s with me he’s constantly hugging me and kissing me he’s very affectionate, tells me how he feels about me (hasn’t said he loves me) but yeah he’s just overall gentle and kind and he even told me that he does things with me he’s never done with another women before. He has in his mind that sometimes I might go off with another guy and leave him. Yet he says he wants us to do this whole exclusive dating thing but without putting a title on it.

Basically I want to know how I can gain his trust I haven’t done anything to him but I sometimes feel like I do too much just to make him see I’m not what he might think I am.

Do you think 4 months time is along time to change a deep seeded trigger anyone has?

You're still, virtually, a stranger at 4 months.

All you can do is show consistency, and eventually he will trust you.

Lol leave him for a while and go out with some other guy. Why not use his own insecurity against him. He won't question your loyalty again.

Posted by thatlibralife

Can't you just enjoy what he's given you thus far? I mean he already shared some private info about himself to you. That's some sign of trust. It's early days yet. Men don't usually lay bare their souls and spill their guts all the time. Enjoy the ride and relax a little...

I just don’t want to get in to something and then he ends up playing me

Posted by TurnedOn

Lol leave him for a while and go out with some other guy. Why not use his own insecurity against him. He won't question your loyalty again.

This is the worst advice ever. I would never ever do that.

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by TurnedOn

Lol leave him for a while and go out with some other guy. Why not use his own insecurity against him. He won't question your loyalty again.

This is the worst advice ever. I would never ever do that.

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True love. Keep going.

Posted by nikkistar

Do you think 4 months time is along time to change a deep seeded trigger anyone has?

You're still, virtually, a stranger at 4 months.

All you can do is show consistency, and eventually he will trust you.

Thank you

Posted by thatlibralife

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by thatlibralife

Can't you just enjoy what he's given you thus far? I mean he already shared some private info about himself to you. That's some sign of trust. It's early days yet. Men don't usually lay bare their souls and spill their guts all the time. Enjoy the ride and relax a little...

I just don’t want to get in to something and then he ends up playing me

I feel you on that but but you could be unintentionally giving off signals that you're ready to bounce if he mucks up creating a cycle of mistrust between the two of you. Let go of the urge to control...

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Omg I don’t even realise how much of a control freak I am I always have to be reminded not to be so controlling and I don’t even realise I’m doing it either

4 months is a drop in the bucket. Tbh you shouldn't trust him either.

50/50 he's telling the truth vs this 'trust issues' is a line he uses to keep women at arms length emotionally while he's balls deep.

4 months is so short, in that time you should be deciding if it’s dating or relationship material 😏