be patient or move on?

I have a question and just looking for a bit of honest advise. I've been seeing an Capricorn guy for two years, being the Aquarius that I am its getting to the point of love me or leave me. Honestly does this mean he doesn't see me as being girlfriend material. He gives me whatever it is I ask for whatever I want. So I mentioned I would like to take a trip you know a vacation with him and he stated that's what ppl in relationships do. Huh we do relationship stuff now I didnt ask for a relationship never have I just want to do more. So is it safe to say he's not that into me because I shouldnt have to ask?

Are u 2 exclusives? I admire u, im dating one for 4 months and i cant take it anymore, this unknown status is killing me.

As someone told me in this forum: if a man is head over heels for a woman he will try to lock her out, so he wont loose her... enough saying...

"So is it safe to say he's not that into me because I shouldnt have to ask?"

Firstly, who told you that men are mind readers? And who said women shouldn't have to ask...

Regardless of anything else he is only human and yes it is always a good idea to specify clearly and straightforwardly what you want in a relationship...
he is probably into you, but Caps are notoriously cautious movers.
Im sure someone will be along soon with advice for you =) but yeh, making assumptions about a guy because there is a difference in communication will probably leave you a little confused...

No he sees other people and that is not a issue with me. I've always been there and I guess I just want to know when its all said and done I will be the one. I just dont believe that you have to be in a relationship to do certain things I'm not asking to be his girl right now but I'm a woman I want to do what i want sometimes i want to take trips and just get away sometimes. I dont just want money. Two whole freaking years dam if I ask for something that requires time he states we're not in a relationship wtf what does it matter if we're in a relationship or not just please me and I' sure to do the same.

"Firstly, who told you that men are mind readers? And who said women shouldn't have to ask... "

Not saying I want him to read my mind I was simply trying to say I would have liked for him to have asked or be assertive. that's all. I love I'm not going to lie to myself.

I'm sorry, I am going to step away from this one...
I'm finding it difficult to understand what you need or want... sorry, it's probably me...lol not very bright sometimes...
I'm getting conflicting messages out of that response...

You don't care about relationship labels, you want to know if you are the one, he can see other women, but you demand you do what you want to do, but you are not his girl which negates your right to demand anything... Im not sure what I'm missing.
You chose to spend two years with someone without defining or locking in a definition of what you expect— is that right? You do "relationship stuff" that he has no problem participating in but decides this is the line he wont cross... the trip?

Anyways, I think you sound very sweet regardless, and there is no time like the present to go out and find exactly what you want and who to do it with! =) it may not be this guy, but there will always be others...

your exactly right after two years of no definition how could I make a demand. I have no place right and maybe I'm not being honest with myself maybe I really want a relationship but I've never been in one before so I'm not really sure how it goes. I will just step away from it all no matter how much it hurts me and like you stated I'm really confused maybe I'm caught up in my feeling or suddenly realized that I want more and he's not willing to give it to me. Thanks for being so blunt and honest

I didnt know I was going to fall in love with him.

Why can't you just say all this to his face? You have nothing to lose, are you afraid you will fight?

lol he's really kind to me and I can talk to him about anything. I recently told him to his face and thats how I ended up here. I didnt say I wanted to be in a relationship because I'm not sure about that i just told him I would like to start getting away with him and he said only people in relationships do things like that. And I replied well there is no law on what people can and can not do as friends we do a lot now. I also told him that there should have been boundaries because we've done a lot with each other over the years. I'm not going to lie now I feel little bitter but maybe I set myself up for failure. I love him I do and dont want to loose him but I didnt understand when he drew the line. I didnt it baffled me but I guess you cant go on for years doing all we do as friends somebody will eventually feel mistreated right?

Are you a Capricorn?

How do you know he isn't testing you here...
you could've said-okay well I think I'm in love with you and I would like to go away sometime.

If I was in his position I would be skeptical about this because what if he wants a relationship with you? YET. You keep insisting that's not what you want, but your actions are indicating you DO want.

What if HE is was wanting a different response?
He is respecting your wishes here, so far he hasn't done anything wrong. But, I have a feeling he is actually the one with more at stake... Capricorn is very good at committed partnership, unless of course the partner in question is always saying they don't believe in that classification...
You should tell him how you feel. But I dont think Capricorns are necessarily all that keen on being strung along while someone decides whether they want an actual "relationship"...

Am I wrong here? Have I missed the point?

Posted by lovingme
Are you a Capricorn?

I am a Leo/Virg cusp who has been in the most wonderful, excruciating, tender, hazardous-to-your-health, loving, meaningful, nearly two year relationship with a Cap Man.
He has my heart. Very much so.
But it's a long story and a long road to go, so I won't bore you with any more details... suffice to say they are well worth the effort =)
If you truly love him I think it's essential you make yourself clear and put yourself first (for a change sounds like)

I honestly feel like he can't handle the type of woman I am I never slept around in the whole two years I'm very independent. I'm afraid to tell him I love him, only because why havent he asserted himself already does that mean he doesnt feel anything for me? Or maybe he doesnt like me like that or he would have tried harder. So maybe I should just tell him and if i loose him then that means move on.

I wish I had the answers hun, can only hope you get some from others on here - the horses mouth so to speak...
Good luck either way.
I really think you need to know though-that you WILL be okay.
=) trust me...

Also, two years is a long time for a Cap to invest in a friendship going nowhere... I'm definitely missing something.
Take care x

Yea I believe you on that. I've hung around for a long time because I know he's a good man at heart really he is he's really respectful and kind and has always been there for me. But from your experience with a cap was he assertive or were you two friends for awhile first?

ok thanks I really appreciate your advice really did thanks

at wagtail i would like for you to give me pointers. I never been in a relationship but I dont think you could love someone so much they have to have a drop of love of love for that not possible is it?

Capricorn man say right what they say ! If he told you that things only ppls in relationship they do, it means he just told you he consider you a friend only. A support for him , maybe you are his moral support. I have a friend who was in this situation, the guy gave her so much money, things, but he only needed her to balance his mind when things was not good in his life.

When I stated "I don't just want money" NO we dont have an arrangements for him to give me money he offers to help to me out all the time, and showers me with gifts and he gives me whatever I ask for. I've been friends with him for two we done just about everything together and for two years we've shared a lot. And I was just wondering why when it came to the vacation he drew the line? That all.


So after posting and listening to everyone and myself last night I told him how I felt, and he said that we shouldn't be so involved anymore we should just be mutual friends. But we was always friends I never asked for a relationship, but anyways now I know it would never go any further and he didnt care for me in that way. It's hurts but hey I didnt know I was going to fall in love. LESSON LEARNED

"Now, two years down the line, you expect something more. If this is true and I were the Cap, I would not give you the slightest chance. You have no shame or pride."

I've always been there for him and shared much more and I've never slept around on him I just maybe should have been told him when I started to feel more but I've never been in a relationship before so I didnt know how it was really suppose to go but yea like I stated I learned my lesson.

He slept around and you didn't? Well, you set yourself up for this outcome.

You must be very young if you didn't have a boyfriend yet. Find yourself one, but stop seeing this Cap first.

Moreover, it would be good to find a way to earn or save more money, so that you won't be tempted to accept any "help" from men actually taking advantage of you.

I prefer not to sleep with more that one guy at at time just my preference i did date and go other with other men, and yea maybe I did set myself up I dont know but I learned some things along the way so hey we live and learn I will never do that again.

Posted by lovingme
I prefer not to sleep with more that one guy at at time just my preference i did date and go other with other men, and yea maybe I did set myself up I dont know but I learned some things along the way so hey we live and learn I will never do that again.

That's what it's all about 🙂 live and learn. Stay true to yourself, you don't have to be in any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.

"Moreover, it would be good to find a way to earn or save more money, so that you won't be tempted to accept any "help" from men actually taking advantage of you.

WOW I have money he we share bank accounts maybe he just didnt want me spending mine or some I dont know. But I'm 31 years old just always been friends with guys. I work hard and have a awesome career I just never found no one I liked enough to be in a relationship with and after two years I guess I thought I was ready and he wasnt that into me so DAM there are no rules on how you like a person right or what you can do as friends.

Posted by lovingme
"Moreover, it would be good to find a way to earn or save more money, so that you won't be tempted to accept any "help" from men actually taking advantage of you.

WOW I have money he we share bank accounts maybe he just didnt want me spending mine or some I dont know. But I'm 31 years old just always been friends with guys. I work hard and have a awesome career I just never found no one I liked enough to be in a relationship with and after two years I guess I thought I was ready and he wasnt that into me so DAM there are no rules on how you like a person right or what you can do as friends.

you shared a bank account with him?

Thanks everybody I have to do so much separate our accounts care insurances. I dont know what I got myself into I'm so confused what was I thinking.

yes I shared accounts with him and my heart forget the bank account he trust me with everything I handle all his business.

Lovingme, please close the common account immediately. Otherwise you may found out that he's taken a huge overdraft and left you pay for it! Should never share an account with a man, unless you too are married with kids!

If it's a business account than it should be properly regulated. The question is: do you want to continue doing business with this man, now that you have un-requitted feelings for him?

I will meet him at the bank tomorrow morning, and after I told him I didnt want anymore tides to him he said I was mad but I wasnt mad just hurt I gave a lot and when I asked more he decides we're to involved.

Its not a business account I handle all of his business besides having an account with him and no I dont want to be anything to him or have anymore involvement with him he has lost a good friend.

Posted by lovingme
Its not a business account I handle all of his business besides having an account with him and no I dont want to be anything to him or have anymore involvement with him he has lost a good friend.

What? You shared bank accounts and the relationship status was iffy? oh hun, get out of that asap.

can you tell me how that came about??

We started out having casual sex. And then we started seeing each other more he hinted at a relationship but it wasnt what I wasnted then I was finishing up school starting a new career and just couldn't do all of that at the time I was to focused. Then we both got new cars and we're both on the titles and got car insurance together, and I found him asking me to do more of his business so we decided we should share an account in which he has more in the account. We date, go out go out and get together often. And then 6 months ago my job moved me to another state so we still visit each other and it's just not sex anymore we make love he's gentle and respectful and when we're together I feel so good I do.

at noname, yea I understand that now. I didnt start out wanting a relationship hell but when he didnt assert himself or make a move. I messed up apparently and it was backwards all I can do now is get over it I mean either he love or leave me. Right now I dont want to be bothered with him even if he tried. I can admit along the way i desired more but I never thought I would I just tried to show him I cared and was there for him. And your right all it ever was a friendship and I wanted more, and I expressed that and now this is what it came too so now I know. Everything I ever did for him was from the heart and dont regret it but I have so much going on I will just mover on and yea it hurts like really hurts.

I think I'm more embarrassed than anything, like she said I gave so much what else is there to look forward too, but I wasnt thinking like that I was thinking if I show him than he know it can be better on a different level I dont know cant spend a lot of time going back and forth with myself it is what it is. And its a lot of things that has to be done. I tried.

Still puzzling... Cap trusting you with his money yet can't make a commitment. Something is off.

Trusting me with his money just not his heart what hell

I answered this on the aqua board.