Cap BF is upset with me

Any advice would be appreciated, my cap bf is pretty upset with me, since he is so aloof, I pretty much told him I felt like he didnt care about me and he said I obviously dont understand how he feels about me, which is true because he never expresses it, well i guess when I saidthat I really either one hurt his feeling or made him mad. he has barelt said morw than a few words to me and is not like this, he wont even see me. We've been datingg for 11 months and he has never acted like this, any advise on how to ment this, I said sorry and i really care about him, but sometimes i need him to tell me, I cant just assume he cares when he NEVER says it, Im not a mind reader. I think the way i said it could have been better but wow, I would think he would feel bad and try not get mad at me. How do I fix this and get him not to be upset with me, I'm not even sure what I did

So you told him that in hopes that he'd improve as far as expressing himself but it backfired.

Well, now that he's upset, do you see the difference of how he acts when he switches off and doesnt care?

Do you think that if he warms up again, that you can accept him not being as verbally expressive? If its not acceptable, find someone else, but just know that everyone isnt built the same as you, so some things may not come as easy.

Also dont push for a desired reaction this way. He'll most likely always get upset, shut down, and do the opposite.

All you can do is say what you meant the way you feel you should have said it the first time. And give him time. Maybe he'll call it off if he feel he cant provide you with what you need to be happy. Maybe not, but its not guaranteed that hes going to start being this expressive guy all of a sudden.

I mean feel bad, because I probably could have worded it better, and I did say that i have guys ask me out left and right, but dont act on it becuase i care about him, he said i made him feel stupid and it didnt understand how he felt, and I said that he was correct becuase me never tells me anything, I do feel awful about my approach and did a apologize but he has become very distant Ive even asked to see him and its like he is ignoring me, I told him I'd give him his space, but if I dont reach out will he think I dont care? I cant figure this out and I'm afraid he'll call it off if he feel he cant provide you with what you need to be happy like Iana04 said, I think I screwed this all up 😢
I dont fall in love easy or care easy and now I know how much I really care, I just want to fix us

"I did say that i have guys ask me out left and right, but dont act on it becuase i care about him"

Ok you went there didnt you, if anything that would be the thing that has him upset and distant. How long have you and him being seeing each other. Does he show you in his actions that he cares? Sometimes we have to allow ppl to be accept them right where they are. You know if youve been on this Cap board that Cap men are not good with expressing themselves.
Its not like all of a sudden he became this way. I hope you guys work it out and I hope that in the future if he cannot express himself the way you think he should that you will be able to deal with that and not blow up and risk this again. You need to learn his love language and try to introduce him to yours but in a very subtle soft way..

Tell him obviously he didn't communicate how he felt. Tell him it would be nice to have words to back up his actions. You should not feel bad for being fustrated. Us caps like to show how we feel, we're not good at saying it. We think "duh, we did this and that" and expect you to just know. That's where we are clueless!!! If you rationally, unemotionally, honestly express yourself we usually will try to do better for someone we love.

Posted by QUlETstorm
Cap men aren't of many words, unless they have a watery moon.. then you might get lucky. But I am willing to bet that he has SHOWED you numerous times through his actions how he feels for you. His feelings are hurt, but I'm thinking he may eventually come around. Years ago I pissed my cap bf off by calling him a coward. (he was not my boyfriend at that time) I had never seen him so hurt and angry.. I didn't think he would forgive me either.

Give him his space that he needs to cool down. Don't smother him with apologies, that will make it worse.

^^^That.

Give him time, he will be back. Don't bother him though, let him come to you 🙂

Gurly, so you basically threw in his face "I have options!" You think he's going to spend energy making sure he beats em all out? When he's not even doing enough, in your opinion, to show he cares? Talk about the comfort and fun being sucked out of this one. He may return, he may not. One thing about most of us, we dont like competition.

Well just an update, I text him, pretty much asking him I needed to know where we stand, and that if he didnt want to see me I totally understand, and I should have not said the things I said in the manner I said it, but just needed to know if he'd rather not see me anymore, vs just keeping me at a distant. He text me back and said he just felt a bit weird about what happen over the weekend and did mention my little comment about dating other and how if I want to see other people I should, he doesnt want to have to ask me not to, then he mentioned something about his schedule and how he thinks I have hard feelings that he cant spend as much time with me as he can etc.. ( he always does this(mentions his schedule) I think he is insecure about this or something)

I replied back and said I do not want to see other people and should have never even stated that I said I genuinely care about him and know that I am very lucky to have found him, that there arent many guys out there like him, and I can say im lucky to have someone who I not only enjoy talking to but enjoy the time we spend with each other, I also said I was confused by the schedule comment bc I admire all the hard work and dedication he puts into his career and find it very attractive, because I am the same way, then I said even if you get off late (which is the usual) I appreciate that he asks me over even its just to watch tv, have a beer or just go to sleep, because we get to spend time together which is the god honest truth, and I'd rather do any of things i stated above with him than go on a date with a guy...

He never replied and this was this am...I'm hoping he'll come around soon

Just leave it be. You did more than enough to try and clear things up.

If it is too much to wait, give yourself an expiration date on the relationship..Hopefully he comes around before then.

Also maybe he mentions his schedule a lot because he knows its probably difficult to deal with.