cap treats me almost like a stranger—!!!!

I've been dating a cap for 6 months.Everything is great when we're together ,he lives 2 hours away so we don't see eachothr everyday etc.But I realized he acts one way with me and another way with his friends.He jokes around with them an is very loud and outgoing,almost like it's all an act.Like he's just playing this role of this fun loving outgoing crazy person because he realizes alot of people like him because of this personality and he's making alot of friends and pretty much everyone loves him.But to me it looks all fake,he's never serious with them.Like everything is always a joke,it feels like he tries to make people think he's so open but in reality he's hiding behind the funny.With me he's never this funny.He doesnt joke much and he's usually serious with me.I'm the one joking around and he doesnt even laugh .I don't understand why he isnt this funny outgoing person with me,doesn't joke around with me.But with his friends it's just funny 24/7.Why is he so serious with me?is it because he's serious by nature and being all funny and loud is an act?I feel like a stranger to him because of this.Even on fb he jokes around with his friends and is all silly and he doesnt even talk to me on fb or even like my pictures.Like he;s so much closer to his friends and not me 😢((

Seems like he is being the real him around you... so if he joked all the time, you'd probably think you were just another friend and he didn't take you seriously?

He just seems more closer to his friends and most of his friends are people he just met or doesnt even know and he acts like hes so close to them and i'm like a stranger.

I do this. My ex pointed it out to me. I laugh and joke around with my friends, and I was more serious with him. He felt like I was ignoring him when I was with friends and didn't like that I acted differently. I wasn't doing it on purpose. My friends and I have a different relationship than I do with my s/o. It would be hard for me to explain in a short amount of text, but as I said, I was not trying to be a different way. When I'm with my friends, they are my focus. When I'm with my s/o, he is my focus. I can be anything and everything around my s/o....comfortable, angry, happy, sad, but around my friends, I'm only one way since our friendship is based on lighter-hearted things like jokes. So, I wasn't doing anything to try to hurt him and in the end, he was the one who saw more of my true self than my friends of however many years.
I would try to accept it and not try to change him. That would be pretty cruel, imo. And, even when my ex whined to me about it, it was just annoying because...I can't really change that dynamic. It's what I do. And I expect others to respect that. Not saying this guy is exactly the same, but to me, that's just what it seems like.

Don't you want a serious man instead of a clown? In time he will loosen up. Relationships are serious business for Caps. You should worry when he starts treating you like a friend...

Yea,clown is much better...

Posted by Scenic
I do this. My ex pointed it out to me. I laugh and joke around with my friends, and I was more serious with him. He felt like I was ignoring him when I was with friends and didn't like that I acted differently. I wasn't doing it on purpose. My friends and I have a different relationship than I do with my s/o. It would be hard for me to explain in a short amount of text, but as I said, I was not trying to be a different way. When I'm with my friends, they are my focus. When I'm with my s/o, he is my focus. I can be anything and everything around my s/o....comfortable, angry, happy, sad, but around my friends, I'm only one way since our friendship is based on lighter-hearted things like jokes. So, I wasn't doing anything to try to hurt him and in the end, he was the one who saw more of my true self than my friends of however many years.
I would try to accept it and not try to change him. That would be pretty cruel, imo. And, even when my ex whined to me about it, it was just annoying because...I can't really change that dynamic. It's what I do. And I expect others to respect that. Not saying this guy is exactly the same, but to me, that's just what it seems like.

You sound just like him haha.So you're serious by nature?and the fun side is an act?

I am serious, normally, but the fun side isn't an act. Different people with different roles bring out different sides to me. I can be everything around my s/o, which is mainly serious, with serious intentions and efforts, but also with a fun side. Friends are for fun, sharing, and company in my book, so they're going to naturally bring out more of my fun side than anything else. But, whether in certain situations it seems like I value my friends more or vice versa, in the end, my s/o is the most important person to me.
Like I said, I'm not him, but maybe me saying that will help you feel a bit better, even without knowing his exact stance.

Just a thought, maybe you should try bringing some humor to the table to get him going. He might be reflecting what you give off.

He will be able to show you both sides. Basically, caps are very serious, although we can cut up and have fun. Feel privileged you're getting to know the real him.

Maybe he senses you would like the serious side better.