Cappies, Are You really Gold diggers ?

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truecap
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Not a gold digger. However, I would prefer a man make about the same or more money than I do, so I don't feel used. He must have ambition and good work ethic. There is no way I would marry and support a man who didn't have a job. I would understand circumstances like lay offs, etc. If this happens, I would be supportive as long as he is making efforts to find a job.

Like cheeky, I wouldn't marry a man for money. No way! Love and desire is very important to me.
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lisabeth
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my cappy mother in law with the aqua venus, virgo mars, merc cap is still single to this day after her divorce with the virgo long long ago. The virgo father in law is happily married to the gemini woman. And i mean happily. When i observe my mother in law, she is a good woman and good mother -- always there for her family -- even her brothers and in laws. But to this day....many decades later she is still single. She's travelled all over the world (Aqua jupiter) and loves it and she told me she LOVES her independence.

However, she will not go for a man even if he's available, and she is available too. She's met many foreign people, traveling everywhere, and some have asked her why she's single. She loves her independence again.....but the subtle clue....
she will NOT go for a man who has money, no job, no career ect. And even if they have a career, it is still NOT enough. NO WAY. there's more. It goes deeper.

And plenty of women, like aunts and relatives ask me, why does your mother in law not want to re-marry someday? She's already seniors age range, and while that's not too late, it is limited.

And i told them, you dont understand....she is not the type to just fall for some man even if they have a big career. There has to be something about them. TOO CHOOSY!!!!

i had the mistake to ask her while she was traveling in India....
"What about those men there? Or when you went to Madagascar, ect"

"Not my type. I wouldn't go for those types of guys anyway."

Of course, the conversation was about how people in India, Africa and 3rd world countries look for partners and husbands/wives. And how she was telling us the story of her co-worker who got JIPPED big time when her co-worker sent thousands of money to India for this guy she met there, (the guy promised to marry her and told her he loved her, words of promise of love and matrimony) and then disappeared on her. They have scams like this all over in every 3rd world country.

Mother in law is too wise for such nonsense. But there are plenty of women still wanting love out there. You cant blame them.
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lisabeth
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she has many many stories of co-workers in the past, of colleagues she's known, and at her seniors age, it is sad because she's told me that when you get around old age, you tend to see all your good friends, old co-workers and colleagues die out. 😢

if you're okay with being single, and love your independence, then it is GOOD! you have freedom to do whatever you want.

However, if you are always feeling LONELY, then do something about it. But be careful with the men or women you choose. They might take you for everything, or they will run out on you, or put you down, harass you ...so many many things can happen!!! it's really a GAMBLE when you marry!!
*smh*

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lisabeth
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
The first part's gonna sound awful, but I'll say it anyway...

After being with people with less than me for so long, it sorta gave me a complex to dating someone with more than me. Silly things. Like... I once asked the Scorsagian if he wanted to join the Tall One and I for dinner and, when he politely declined, there was a part of me that was afraid he thought I'd invited him in hopes he'd pay. Weird stuff like that. He'd insist on paying for our dates, but I was always looking for a way to chip in because I never wanted him to feel used or to see me as less than someone perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

Don't think I could be a gold digger if I actively tried. Unless I joined Sniper on a panning expedition.



i remember you mentioned about your ex husband who stayed home with the children for many years and he still didnt do anything for you even after the fact.

and how he invited you to a fancy dinner at a restaurant, and tried to make you jealous. Jeeezzzz!!!!

I feel strongly that there is more to it. I believe that if made an effort to be more of a "man" in your eyes, you would have stayed with him.

Maybe there are deeper issues going on. who knows.

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WaterCup
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Yes, they are. I know several December Cap women. My cousin, 25th December. Cap sun with Cap moon & she likes money. She wanted to marry her frail looking co-worker because he had money & a big house. She suspected that he had AIDS & that's the only thing that stopped her from marrying him. She was afraid that after they were married, he'd want to have sex with her. She still went out him though because he spoiled her rotten & lavished her with gift. The guy passed away last year & she didn't even go to the funeral of her "friend". I love her but she totally used the poor guy.

On the other hand, her gemini ex, the father of her kids, can make her spend huge amounts of cash on him. She's a sucker for him even though he treated her like crap when they were together. The guy is an undeserving loser.

Another Cap (with Leo moon) I used to be friends with, 31st December, dated a guy old enough to be her father. He was wealthy & married. She told me that she wasnt in love with him but "liked" him. I think she kept him around because he paid her rent & bought her things. She had a crush on one of our co-workers at the time. I left the job so I dont know if they ended up dating.

The Cap women I know LOVE money & nice things. They'd endure anything if they were getting something out of it.
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truecap
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
The first part's gonna sound awful, but I'll say it anyway...

After being with people with less than me for so long, it sorta gave me a complex to dating someone with more than me. Silly things. Like... I once asked the Scorsagian if he wanted to join the Tall One and I for dinner and, when he politely declined, there was a part of me that was afraid he thought I'd invited him in hopes he'd pay. Weird stuff like that. He'd insist on paying for our dates, but I was always looking for a way to chip in because I never wanted him to feel used or to see me as less than someone perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

Don't think I could be a gold digger if I actively tried. Unless I joined Sniper on a panning expedition.


I'm like that too. I always insist on getting the tip. Or I will treat him out sometimes so he doesn't feel taken advantage of or used.
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truecap
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Posted by WaterCup
Yes, they are. I know several December Cap women. My cousin, 25th December. Cap sun with Cap moon & she likes money. She wanted to marry her frail looking co-worker because he had money & a big house. She suspected that he had AIDS & that's the only thing that stopped her from marrying him. She was afraid that after they were married, he'd want to have sex with her. She still went out him though because he spoiled her rotten & lavished her with gift. The guy passed away last year & she didn't even go to the funeral of her "friend". I love her but she totally used the poor guy.

On the other hand, her gemini ex, the father of her kids, can make her spend huge amounts of cash on him. She's a sucker for him even though he treated her like crap when they were together. The guy is an undeserving loser.

Another Cap (with Leo moon) I used to be friends with, 31st December, dated a guy old enough to be her father. He was wealthy & married. She told me that she wasnt in love with him but "liked" him. I think she kept him around because he paid her rent & bought her things. She had a crush on one of our co-workers at the time. I left the job so I dont know if they ended up dating.

The Cap women I know LOVE money & nice things. They'd endure anything if they were getting something out of it.



I'm sure there are a lot of cap women like that. There's probably women like that in every sign, though.

I suppose I could see a cap with a cap moon being more that way than the others. Thankfully, I have a scorpio venus who insists on the passionate love and sexy side of relationships.
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lisabeth
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Posted by truecap
Posted by cheekyfaerie
The first part's gonna sound awful, but I'll say it anyway...

After being with people with less than me for so long, it sorta gave me a complex to dating someone with more than me. Silly things. Like... I once asked the Scorsagian if he wanted to join the Tall One and I for dinner and, when he politely declined, there was a part of me that was afraid he thought I'd invited him in hopes he'd pay. Weird stuff like that. He'd insist on paying for our dates, but I was always looking for a way to chip in because I never wanted him to feel used or to see me as less than someone perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

Don't think I could be a gold digger if I actively tried. Unless I joined Sniper on a panning expedition.


I'm like that too. I always insist on getting the tip. Or I will treat him out sometimes so he doesn't feel taken advantage of or used.
click to expand




NOT ME.

You treat me like a lady and you treat me when going out. That's how it is.

I don't give a fuck if he thinks i'm a golddigger. Its on him to trust what he feels. Fuck that noise.

If and then he wants me for who i am as a person, then he accepts me for who i am. Flaws and all.
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lisabeth
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Posted by lisabethur8
i want what i want and what i want is what i want. There is NO room for shame about this.

no fucking way. life is too short. I wont go for a man who doesn't treat a lady out the first time.



😛

in retrospect ...since i'm passionate about this. 😆

my husband treated me the first time and all the times in our marriage. 😆 😄

do i give him lots of love back? DAMN RIGHT!

it's just how i was raised. Our mother beat into us to be a good woman, love and honor your husband, ect.

plus, men won't stay with women who are not loving and give them security. That's what i noticed in life.

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WaterCup
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Posted by truecap
Posted by WaterCup
Yes, they are. I know several December Cap women. My cousin, 25th December. Cap sun with Cap moon & she likes money. She wanted to marry her frail looking co-worker because he had money & a big house. She suspected that he had AIDS & that's the only thing that stopped her from marrying him. She was afraid that after they were married, he'd want to have sex with her. She still went out him though because he spoiled her rotten & lavished her with gift. The guy passed away last year & she didn't even go to the funeral of her "friend". I love her but she totally used the poor guy.

On the other hand, her gemini ex, the father of her kids, can make her spend huge amounts of cash on him. She's a sucker for him even though he treated her like crap when they were together. The guy is an undeserving loser.

Another Cap (with Leo moon) I used to be friends with, 31st December, dated a guy old enough to be her father. He was wealthy & married. She told me that she wasnt in love with him but "liked" him. I think she kept him around because he paid her rent & bought her things. She had a crush on one of our co-workers at the time. I left the job so I dont know if they ended up dating.

The Cap women I know LOVE money & nice things. They'd endure anything if they were getting something out of it.



I'm sure there are a lot of cap women like that. There's probably women like that in every sign, though.

I suppose I could see a cap with a cap moon being more that way than the others. Thankfully, I have a scorpio venus who insists on the passionate love and sexy side of relationships.
click to expand




The only thing my cousin has in scorpio is uranus. I forgot her venus. The other one has venus in aquarius. But they're very similar in many ways, only difference is that, the other Cap is very unforgiving. She despises her ex, while my cousin secretly loves hers.
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truecap
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Posted by lisabethur8
i want what i want and what i want is what i want. There is NO room for shame about this.

no fucking way. life is too short. I wont go for a man who doesn't treat a lady out the first time.



Oh, the first date, the first few dates, of course a man should treat the lady. As you get further into the relationship, it is appropriate for the lady to treat the man. A home cooked meal is always a good treat.
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CapTenn
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Posted by Chance15
may be the aqua in my chart, but i only value money for the freedom to do what i want. I work hard and don't want anything that I myself haven't earned. I grew up with little so having ostentatious stuff makes me feel guilty anyways. If i have something of value, rather than selling it..i give it to someone that could use it..and good fortune seems to return in some form or another so i trust it.

I don't get why people peg cap for this..most have nice stuff because they are self made. I would think any other element that was possibly less hard working and more manipulative would come before. I always pay when with a SO..maybe i'm a sucker, but in my mind what could be more worthwhile to spend your money on? you can always make more..experiences, based upon time and place, are singular.

I've noticed in life that the people that are way more generous are a lot happier than those that are miserly.



+ 1
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frostey91
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Don't believe a woman should ever take a man, nor should a man take care of a woman who is not a least pulling her own weight. Meaning she is not using her talents effectively enough to have some financial stability. I look toward long term stuff money for me is barely maybe in my top 5 things in a partner. What they stand for, what potential they have, and their personality are much more important to me.
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lisabeth
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Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Chance15
may be the aqua in my chart, but i only value money for the freedom to do what i want. I work hard and don't want anything that I myself haven't earned. I grew up with little so having ostentatious stuff makes me feel guilty anyways. If i have something of value, rather than selling it..i give it to someone that could use it..and good fortune seems to return in some form or another so i trust it.

I don't get why people peg cap for this..most have nice stuff because they are self made. I would think any other element that was possibly less hard working and more manipulative would come before. I always pay when with a SO..maybe i'm a sucker, but in my mind what could be more worthwhile to spend your money on? you can always make more..experiences, based upon time and place, are singular.

I've noticed in life that the people that are way more generous are a lot happier than those that are miserly.



+ 1
click to expand




this.

Money does provide FREEDOM indeed. But it isn't going to make you happy. Look at all the women going shopping and spending lots of money ......upping their credit card. It's a temporary happiness and addiction. No sane man who isn't a billionaire ..(not even billionaire's want this type of woman)
would have her.

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lisabeth
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by cheekyfaerie
The first part's gonna sound awful, but I'll say it anyway...
After being with people with less than me for so long, it sorta gave me a complex to dating someone with more than me. Silly things. Like... I once asked the Scorsagian if he wanted to join the Tall One and I for dinner and, when he politely declined, there was a part of me that was afraid he thought I'd invited him in hopes he'd pay. Weird stuff like that. He'd insist on paying for our dates, but I was always looking for a way to chip in because I never wanted him to feel used or to see me as less than someone perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.
Don't think I could be a gold digger if I actively tried. Unless I joined Sniper on a panning expedition.



i remember you mentioned about your ex husband who stayed home with the children for many years and he still didnt do anything for you even after the fact.

and how he invited you to a fancy dinner at a restaurant, and tried to make you jealous. Jeeezzzz!!!!

I feel strongly that there is more to it. I believe that if made an effort to be more of a "man" in your eyes, you would have stayed with him.

Maybe there are deeper issues going on. who knows.

click to expand




There's always more. I'm sure he'd give you an earful about me and how I emasculated him or whatever. It boiled down to money and the kids. Feeling I'd carried the brunt of the weight for too long while he delved into one thing or the other. Acting classes, writing classes, writing, playwriting. While at first supportive, I came to see them as selfish ventures. Especially when I'd come home and nothing had been done to help the household. He was also never very good with the kids, particularly his stepdaughter. Downright mean to her sometimes. I saw a pattern repeating itself, as I'd grown up with a similar stepdad myself. And that's ultimately what it was, I think. If I'd have been afforded the opportunity to be a stay at home mom... well, I'd have made so much more of it. And yes, had he made more of an effort to be my man instead of a third child, I'd have given it everything I had. He was my best friend, afterall. So there you go. I'm no gold
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lisabeth
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i'm surprised he has the money to go and do acting classes ect and all that creative activity. only SINGLE people can do that if they have NO children. You are sacrificing alot. You can honestly do that when you're single. Look at the rich people who are actors/actresses. They have a full time career and who takes care of the children— Their paid nannies and babysitters!!!! that's who. *nods* what you see on the covers of the magazine of them with their kids when the babysitter's are on off days. they pay thousands and thousands a month for their children's being taken care of.

if you are just the normal people out there -- middle class you have to worry about financial problems that come up. save for a rainy day and make sure there is enough funds for the children to have good clothing, medical care, good food/nutrition, ect. And watching over them, and NOT to mention what they would like to have.... ie, toys, puzzles, games, books ect.

No wonder you left your ex. you should not have married yet. Just "test" him to see if he is the TYPE of man you want to have children with. If he is not the kind of man that will be tested for the long haul then you know this is the one. That's what i learned. I learned the hard way of course, but after wisdom and experience you know better that it is best to NEVER be with a man who won't give you back 100% or what you want. Same with a woman to a man.
It's how both of you want to be placed in that role and agreement.
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lisabeth
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falling head over heels in love is something else, and wonderful feeling but as you get wiser and older and not a teenager anymore...

you realize....

this is NOT the kind of man i want for my children to be influenced by. Or this is NOT the kind of man who i can LOVE and RESPECT. no way.

Sometimes, you get super lucky and you have BOTH.

you have intense feelings and the guy you chose is awesome!!! not perfect but awesome in the way you yourself want him to be.

who wants perfect?? i dont. it doesnt exist.
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truecap
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Posted by noname
at the end of our 1st lunch date, scorp asked " do you want to split the bill?". i was excited to hear that lol because he read me very well. most men would just assume the woman would prefer him to pay. i would appreciate the nice gesture and say thank you of course when it happened without my consent lol but i really didn't like to feel like i owe a guy i just met anything and were obligated to see him again lol. we split the bill and he offered to buy me a cup of coffee. simply perfect.



If I went on a first date and a man asked me if I wanted to split the bill, that would alsobe the last date. I'd be offended.

It's not that I'm after a free meal or anything, but I'm a traditionalist and I expect the man to pay the first few dates. I'll pick up the entire tab on date #4, (or buy concert/sports tickets).
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truecap
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Posted by truecap
Posted by noname
at the end of our 1st lunch date, scorp asked " do you want to split the bill?". i was excited to hear that lol because he read me very well. most men would just assume the woman would prefer him to pay. i would appreciate the nice gesture and say thank you of course when it happened without my consent lol but i really didn't like to feel like i owe a guy i just met anything and were obligated to see him again lol. we split the bill and he offered to buy me a cup of coffee. simply perfect.



If I went on a first date and a man asked me if I wanted to split the bill, that would alsobe the last date. I'd be offended.

It's not that I'm after a free meal or anything, but I'm a traditionalist and I expect the man to pay the first few dates. I'll pick up the entire tab on date #4, (or buy concert/sports tickets).
click to expand




I wouldn't mind taking care of the tip, though. 🙂
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truecap
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I have a cap moon, so perhaps it's a little harsh and judgmental, extremely traditional. I believe a man is masculine and a woman is feminine thus a woman ought to let a man be a man. Let him be a gentleman because when he gets to treat you as a lady that helps him develop feelings and when a woman acts like she appreciates it, he feels rewarded and appreciated, which makes him want to do more and make more efforts. Old school stuff! Plus, I'm old. lol!

I understand what you're saying and definitely understand the internal conflict. My mars is aqua.
And I understand your past experiences influence with the whys and whats of the present belief and actions.

Your way works for you and that's what you're comfortable with. Keep on doin'! 🙂

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lisabeth
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listen, EARTH needs stability, and MATERIAL things. Simple. It's that simple.

how hard is it?

Im a hoarder. My husband complains I hoard MATERIAL things. things I need and USE.

My husband says i dont need all that stuff. he is right. I'm trying to let go of MATERIAL things that I don't need. It will pile up in our backyard, front yard, ect.

I love POSSESSING things. This is my earth dominant speaking.
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gvccihvcci
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Posted by lisabethur8
listen, EARTH needs stability, and MATERIAL things. Simple. It's that simple.

how hard is it?

Im a hoarder. My husband complains I hoard MATERIAL things. things I need and USE.

My husband says i dont need all that stuff. he is right. I'm trying to let go of MATERIAL things that I don't need. It will pile up in our backyard, front yard, ect.

I love POSSESSING things. This is my earth dominant speaking.




This is your lack of spiritual development/ mediocre life speaking. No SMART Capricorn, or even responsible Capricorn would HOARD things just to HOARD them.
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lisabeth
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Posted by gvccihvcci
Posted by lisabethur8
listen, EARTH needs stability, and MATERIAL things. Simple. It's that simple.
how hard is it?
Im a hoarder. My husband complains I hoard MATERIAL things. things I need and USE.
My husband says i dont need all that stuff. he is right. I'm trying to let go of MATERIAL things that I don't need. It will pile up in our backyard, front yard, ect.
I love POSSESSING things. This is my earth dominant speaking.


This is your lack of spiritual development/ mediocre life speaking. No SMART Capricorn, or even responsible Capricorn would HOARD things just to HOARD them.
click to expand



yeah i know. it's just me for being so IMPERFECT. can't help it. I like having things. whatcha gonna do? I also love having possessions and nice things for my family as well. I'm trying. Doing a good job not accummulating so much.
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CreepyPants
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i met my bf at a time when he had nothing. he's not that much farther along and my every intention is to spend the rest of my life with him. he has a heart of gold??_ int that, you could say i'm a gold digger. that said, is it fair to judge me as a woman with a good heart or couldn't care less about material things?

cuz i do like stuff. fancy or not. i just like what i like. if it happens to have a label, i can promise i like it for reasons aside from the label. and i'll have just as many reasons for liking something i picked up for 3 bucks at a resale shop.

i think caps and cap women just like quality traits and characteristics in anything or anyone. that is more a general trait to the capricorn sign than being seduced by money, fine things or the appearance of money which is more a human nature thing.