Cappy and Libra? Blasphemy!

I've haunted these forums for many years, but finally have a true issue I need help with! I met a cappy man on a dating site and he is extremely attractive. We began texting and hit it off right away. He is so amazing-cooks, cleans, takes care of himself, a good father, getting his degree and plans to open his own business. Seriously-Libra dream come true.

At first, he was very attentive to me and very flirtatious. He couldn't get enough texting and I enjoyed it. When we finally met, he ASKED to kiss me and of course I said yes. Well, hands wandered and things got heated, but we ended up stopping. He got really flirty, even pressing himself back into me so I could hug him around his waist. He was so sweet and sincere and tender.

I let him come to me after that and we've seen each other for brief moments...but never gone out again. I asked him why and he says he wants to slow down, which is understandable because the sexual tension is insane. He will sometimes text things like "I would love to love you" and "I'm trying to avoid you because when we chill, I'm going to have sex with you and I hardly know you." Which is all good and well, but...

The silence has begun and how am I supposed to "get to know him" when he doesn't respond to me anymore? Is he just stringing me along? Why the sincerity and now he seems bothered...

I should also mention that every time we see one another, he asks to kiss me and gives me a hug goodbye. Cappy is a confusing one.

Maybe he's busy focusing on starting his new biz and being a great father.. along with cooking, cleaning, and personal care. Adulting takes lots of work and time.

Posted by FlirtyLibra
.but never gone out again. I asked him why and he says he wants to slow down, which is understandable because the sexual tension is insane. He will sometimes text things like "I would love to love you" and "I'm trying to avoid you because when we chill, I'm going to have sex with you and I hardly know you." ..

What is up with him saying this? Like it's his decision whether you have sex? Like you have no say in the manner?
What an egomaniac.

He's probably one of those guys that is only looking for sex and trying to gage by your reaction to that whether you'd give in or not. Like are you easy pickings or is he going to have to work for it (which he doesn't want to do).

Looks like you may have dodged a bullet. I say let him go on with his silent self.

He says I'm sexually aggressive. Which is true...and I've messaged him to let him know I want him if that's how I can have him. Then, silence...or he will say "I'm sleeping, text you later" with no text...

Seriously, why can't I just have the man in bed and be done? Lol!!

Sugarfoot, any hopes of me being able to start over and let him know I am interested in more? He is a really good guy and I don't want to let him go so easily.

And he was the sexual aggressor to begin with, so why is it so wrong for me to have played along? I'm choosy in who I sleep with and he's aware.

I've already blown it, I think...but he's not getting a thing from me physically if he decides to pursue again.

Posted by FlirtyLibra
Sugarfoot, any hopes of me being able to start over and let him know I am interested in more? He is a really good guy and I don't want to let him go so easily.

I think he's already made his impression of you and it doesn't fit what he wants. He wants to take it slow and get to know you and you're wanting to jump in the bed. That rings as impulsive and that you don't respect his wishes to slow down.

*UPDATE*
Cappy messages me today with "Good morning" and mentions that he wants to see me. I'm hesitant, because I'm still not sure what he wants from me...but I go along with it. I pick him up, we end up going for a really long drive through the city and he shows me some amazing places I didn't know about.

We talk, I tell him I don't like when he ignores me because I don't know where I stand with him. I tell him I'm just going to be honest with him from here on out because of in going to scare him...it's either now or later. So, I tell him I really like him and he asks me why and I tell him honestly..

We end up stopping by my place because I need to pick something up and he comes in, likes it, sits on the couch and tells me he feels comfortable here. I sit next to him and he asks to kiss me...which I say yes. Then he leans back into me and wraps my arms around him and cuddles for a while and I tell him he agreed that we have to behave...

But he says, no...if he wants it, he could just ask and knows I would give in. Which is precisely what happens...and might I say that caps are TRUE givers in that they want to PLEASE!

Anyway, we drive some more and he seems very sincere and makes me laugh the entire ride. We are getting along really, really well and he wraps his arm around me and holds my hand and is so TENDER I can't stand it!

Anyway, it all comes to an end because it's time to head home and I'm smiling like a moron because his presence makes me feel joyful.

Later, he promises to text and he has been more attentive to that, even saying that I'm sexy and he is so glad we got to spend time together, that he really enjoyed it.

Thoughts? He seems very comfortable with me and I told him it's definitely more than just a physical attraction, which he says is good to know.

Posted by FlirtyLibra
I've already blown it, I think...but he's not getting a thing from me physically if he decides to pursue again.

Ok.

Good luck, Libra. Hope it works out.

Posted by truecap

Posted by FlirtyLibra
I've already blown it, I think...but he's not getting a thing from me physically if he decides to pursue again.

Ok.

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It's cappy's fault. Lol.

Are we sure he isn't married?

Posted by Montgomery
Are we sure he isn't married?

I hope not. Is that a common thing for caps?

Keep taking it slow with him. When he ignores you thats because he won't open up to early with you!!! Take it slow!!!

Posted by FlirtyLibra

Posted by truecap

Posted by FlirtyLibra
I've already blown it, I think...but he's not getting a thing from me physically if he decides to pursue again.

Ok.

It's cappy's fault. Lol.

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Goodness gurl, you're a hot mess :/

Doing exactly what you've claimed you won't do...

Congratulations, you're now a fuck buddy.

I'm grateful I don't take everything spoken in here to heart and I'm also grateful I don't follow the advice of some rather negative perspectives.

Cap and I are still talking and seeing each other occasionally. Have not had a sexual encounter since the first and he continues to be more affectionate and opens up to me more each time we are together. Sometimes he will go several days without speaking, but he always ends up texting or calling almost worried a few days later. I really am starting to develop feelings for him. He shows me the most beautiful places and mentions that he enjoys seeing me. Sometimes he gets all parental, for lack of a better word, on me..and I'm starting to realize it's his way of giving advice and showing he cares (especially being ruled by Saturn). We compliment one another well, I think, and our conversations are always thought-provoking and genuine.

I'm glad things are working out for you. Its a tricky combination cap/lib and depends on the whole chart. Hopefully it works for you.

It looks like you guys are taking it slow which is good. Eventually conflict may occur, be ready. Cappies are very direct and libras like taking a more tactful approach. Remain strong and deal with any conflict logically.

Continue to take it slow with him. If he ignores you after a great date still remain cool. If he pulls back and ignore you even after an amazing sexually encounter don’t be upset. You need to show him that you have a lot of patience. When he starts pulling away you make him work even harder to see you the next time. He need to understand there's repercussions when he act like that. Remember he could have a lot more patience than you. You have to know and understand when and why he pulls away. If you did nothing to him but had a great time together than he’s pulling away for his own insecurities. Don't spill all your feelings out to him especially if you're not getting anything back in return. Don't make yourself readily available every time he wants to see you if he's not readily available every time you would like to see him. Show him that you have a very busy schedule and you're not just sitting around waiting on him. Have intellectual conversations with him you have to get inside this man's mind not just his body. When yall have sex don’t be all freaky with him let him freak you out. You can still put your thing down and not go 0 to 100 real quick. I have a Cap friend and everything I'm telling you will help your relationship with him. If I could abide by this 100% everything would be fine but reality is it will be hard to do. Your relationship is new so it should be easier for u.

I just had to add my 2 cents on Libra & Cappy because I just made it through a very rough dating experience with one. Us Libras can fall so hard for them. They can make you feel so special when they want to. And the sex and intimacy I experienced was something I'd never thought I would feel. However his coldness and distance when we were apart made me an emotional wreck! I sooooo wish I had ignored him and played the game, but I just couldn't relax. He just wanted to stay friends and we were so perfect together that I didn't comprehend why I couldn't break through his wall. He would NOT "let me in." I don't think my usual charms work on Earth signs. It seemed he only loved family, no one else could get in. He would always say, stop it, your charms aren't going to work on me. After 6 months with him, I said forget it, he never recriprocated until it was too late. The only difference between him and the Virgo I'm dating now is that I always knew where I stood with the Cap, he was very verbal. Even though I never liked hearing what he had to say on this subject, because the way he acted around me was totally different. I knew he really like me but just wasn't going to fall in love easily, after 6 months I was just too hurt to continue to fight for his love. But the sex was AMAZING AND UNFORGETTABLE!!!!

I'm dating a Virgo now...geez...can earth signs work for us at all? :-/

Things have intensified between us and he's even said he loves me. But...when I go spilling my feelings like the hopeless romantic that I am, he goes silent. If I don't text him or respond for even an hour, he's frantically calling to find out if everything is ok. The look he gives me could melt any icy heart...he is true and his gaze really proves it. I don't know if it's my old fashioned nature that makes me want it, but the official title of being his would make me feel so much more secure. I haven't ever felt this cherished and appreciated before. He asks me to meet him just for a hug or a kiss...and it's so satisfying. It completes my day. I'm trying really hard to be patient, but I'm persistent. Its true that a Libra falls for a Cap hard. He compliments my feminism with his masculinity and his security is something I thought only existed in dream land.

What the hell is taking so long bruh—

Ah this sounds like a movie.

It's cute this is really happening in 2015.

Posted by frostey91
What the hell is taking so long bruh—

Ah this sounds like a movie.

It's cute this is really happening in 2015.

Right?! What the HELL is taking so long? The intensity is insane.

Posted by FlirtyLibra

Posted by frostey91
What the hell is taking so long bruh—

Ah this sounds like a movie.

It's cute this is really happening in 2015.

Right?! What the HELL is taking so long? The intensity is insane.

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This has been going on more than 3 months

—

Posted by frostey91
—

Yes. Since September...said he wants to finish up this semester before he focuses on an actual relationship. We will see. What are your thoughts?

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by FlirtyLibra
He says I'm sexually aggressive. Which is true...and I've messaged him to let him know I want him if that's how I can have him. Then, silence...or he will say "I'm sleeping, text you later" with no text...

Seriously, why can't I just have the man in bed and be done? Lol!!

Cap men can be very traditional. If he was thinking he can have you at any time he wants, that's probably not a good thing. Looks like your behavior and the things you're saying are giving off an "easy" vibe. Seems like he was looking for something serious but you're not. Maybe he picked up on that and decided it's a no go.

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THIS.

If he's a handsome Cap man, you're probably a dime a dozen. Women go crazy over those kinds of guys and give in easily to him without even trying much. He saw that you were no different.

Posted by Greentea

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by FlirtyLibra
He says I'm sexually aggressive. Which is true...and I've messaged him to let him know I want him if that's how I can have him. Then, silence...or he will say "I'm sleeping, text you later" with no text...

Seriously, why can't I just have the man in bed and be done? Lol!!

Cap men can be very traditional. If he was thinking he can have you at any time he wants, that's probably not a good thing. Looks like your behavior and the things you're saying are giving off an "easy" vibe. Seems like he was looking for something serious but you're not. Maybe he picked up on that and decided it's a no go.

THIS.

If he's a handsome Cap man, you're probably a dime a dozen. Women go crazy over those kinds of guys and give in easily to him without even trying much. He saw that you were no different.

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The paragraph was for the OP.

Posted by FlirtyLibra

Posted by frostey91
—

Yes. Since September...said he wants to finish up this semester before he focuses on an actual relationship. We will see. What are your thoughts?

click to expand

Sounds about right bingo, finally we have a legitimate reason. He knows being involved with you will take a chunk out of his schedule. He has already hit his Saturn return that is why he is not concerned with hitting the skins per se.

Cap men are kinda aloof when it comes to sex as you are learning.

He is also a dad-- he is taking all his responsibilities really seriously . This sounds like a noble fellow. I hope to God he is not a fraud.

Though he is giving you everything you want except that last bit of intimacy right?

Correct, I don't know why I'm so caught up in the title of it all...maybe it's the idea that I'll know exactly where I stand. In fact, I now do...as he sent me a text confirming and validating his feelings for me. I suppose I'll continue this amazing journey and see where it goes from here!

He's not available, there's someone else... Has this never occurred to you?

He sent you a text about his feelings? Why can't he tell you in person?

Stuff to think about.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
He's not available, there's someone else... Has this never occurred to you?

He sent you a text about his feelings? Why can't he tell you in person?

Stuff to think about.

He's recently been more open when we're together. Less aloof, more joking, more affectionate and wants to see me more often. He shares more about himself and seems genuinely concerned for me. He has changed. At first it was a lot of mixed signals and confusion.