Capricorn dating a capricorn

Hi all, have been reading this message board for a week or two and I have to tell you that some of the post give me goose bumps b/c I feel like you are describing my boyfriend. He does not do the disappearing thing but he does throw up other girls (or ex girlfriends) or just wants to date other people when he feels threatened that I will leave him or he gets too close. But with in a couple of hours or by the next day he feels awful and everything is back to normal. These "episodes" usually come about every 6 weeks.. or so... Any advise on what I can do to stop them or to make him realize that I am here for him. The sad thing is that I actually understand where he is coming from on alot of issues since I am a capricorn too. Anyone else here a cap and dating a cap? Also, how does your capricorn males act when drinking?

I wanted to comment on the cap. male when drinking... Obnoxious! Boisterous! Does stupid shyt he would never have the guts to try to pull when sober. Why? What's your experience been?

You can probably read my posts all over here about Cap w/ Cap. It was locking horns, power struggle, push-pull.

Wow, thanks for the answers so quick everyone!
Let me try and answer all questions.
First we have been together for about 4 months - of course, he couldn't define the relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend because he would freak out BUT actions were completely different. He is a great guy, insecure though, very scared of failure. He used to pull the other girl thing alot, but he hasn't done that in months until last week, at least this time it wasn't an ex it was just "want to be able to date someone else if I want" of course EXTREMELY drunk while doing this - and it only come up once he stated that I was thinking I have to leave him because i can't deal with him long term, ( which my the way ladies, not what I was thinking at all... I was thinking - how do I get his keys so I can drive his drunk @ $ $ home.. lol)The next day - he was standoffish after the argument and him telling me to leave him that he will just drag me down and the dating crap... but once he saw I was fine.... everything back to normal (which is very attentive, flirty, etc) but it still hurts when he said that and it is bringing out my insecurities!

Now my experience with his drinking is that he gets very emotional. Of course not only am I dealing with the regular capricorn men things - we just found out his dad is dying too - so add that to the equasion and I have one bumpy ride ahead of me! So when he drinks, he will at time even cry - it's awful. But then there are times when it is wonderful it just lets him let his guard down and we have the best time.

Also, I hate to get personal - just need some advise... on sex... we both agreed to start this relationship off slow... we both have walls and trust issues.... which the weird thing is, is that I probably communicate better with him then I did any of my ex's. He wanted to hold off on sex because he said that all of his past relationships were just sexual and he wanted more than that... so we held off for a little more than a month-- but still slept in the bed together every night.... and even now we have sex it just seems like he doesn't want it that much - he would rather stay up and talk or hold me.... don't get me wrong its great but sometimes it scares me that he doesnt want to .... even know he still says that we hold off on having sex to concentrate on the relationship - does this sound right to you or familiar...advise?

Ok, every newcomer should come onto the board and be a little bit more specific when it comes to describing themselves and their Caps so that we know for sure we're not dating the same Cap, lol!

Obviously I'm not a Cap but I can provide some input into drunk Caps and undersexed ones.

* Cap males are so emotionally repressed that when they're drunk, they let everything out in a way that at times, seems really unhealthy. Sometimes, you'll find yourself the brunt of their resentment from some argument you had months ago that you don't even remember and now they choose to bring it to your attention.

* My Cap isn't sexual either. It's weird considering he's a guy. It wasn't like he was at first and then cooled off. He just never was to start off with.

i must agree with you Leowith capandannoyed... we should have to start stating our cap men's name or at least where we live so we know it is not the same one!

Actually, I think the best indicator was when CapGirl put in a survey about your Capman...which probably was a great way to figure out that others weren't dating your man since it would seem that Cap males seem eerily similar. Names seems too personal but age doesn't. Mine is 27.

Cap dateing a cap incest no other word for it

Mine had approached it as 'just friends' and was giving me hugs at the end of each evening, but all the while flirting w/ me. That lasted about 2 weeks and then he started hinting at more, making references to sex and such. Later on in the power struggles, he was basically wanting sex as some kind of proof that I was really interested in him.

That's great, LC. I'm glad it's turning around for you. 🙂 It is intense... we were like magnets drawn but then repelling- back and forth when it got too close/hot. I suspect that this Virgo girl he's with is a more comfortable, less confrontational match for him. 😢

Those cap men and that intense connection that seems out of this world... darn them!!! Just kidding! And as for the 'just friends' thing I know that routine from like a year ago and those hugs and flirting... ahh it was good for me because I learned to be more open with him and it was really grounding for me because I started looking forward to simple hugs. Hmm he must have planned the whole thing to make me want him or something... I knew that he did something to me! Poor innocent happy go lucky me without a care in the world... tricked! (Again I joke.)

Either way there was never an issue in the bedroom as all he has to do is look at me.

10 years... wow... Well, I'm going on 3-4 I guess, if not counting a Sag. I dated last year. I hate this dating crap and think I'm never going to find someone I connect with. I'm already about to give this Leo guy the boot, bc. he's just flirting all week and not confirming a plan/date.

I'm not really confrontational at all either- I handle it via email or text which gets me into as much trouble though as going off in person!

I was hoping the Cap guy had taught me some patience and the art of silence but right about now, I'm not so sure, seeing how I am getting so stirred up and suspecting Leo of game-playing.

Sorry- I digress!

What happened w/ the Taurus and the letter, LC?

I have Sag. moon...and moon is square mars which makes me a bit volatile.

I wasn't looking to date/meet anyone when the Cap. guy came into the picture. I was kind of in party girl mode. So, I batted him around like a mouse. And then I had to start chasing him, but the mouse was too scared to let himself be caught. 😉 Definitely tread carefully w/ these sensitive types... it's hard to take back stuff w/ them (see Floshll's new thread).

capgirl the flirting was only for a week? My goodness that is hardly anything. Remember it's fun to flirt when you are single and it doesn't have to mean the world every time it happens. And if you are the one chasing the first date, then my goodness you are setting the stage for everydate. Now I'm not saying you can't be the aggressor, but I am saying that it's fun to alternate. I know when a guy I hardly know asks me out, I'm suspicious of his motives. Strangers in the Night and Some Enchanted Evening are great stories but they are just that... stories! Don't take it so seriously and enjoy the winking initial contacts and just smile.

I know that in my single life (and I still consider myself single until I'm good and caught!) my biggest mistake usually is that I get to serious to fast, wanting something but not knowing exactly what it is I wanted. No one can bring you happiness and no guy can be everything we want him to be. Until I learned to appreciate the fact that I can eat what I want, buy what I want, and be happy in my own company did things start changing for me. Come to think of it I did read up on some zen life style stuff a while ago and liked the idea of not expecting the moon and being happy in the moment no matter what insignificant thing happens. Guys are guys and they have faults on their own and they certainly don't want to end up with a bunny boiler type of girl who wants them but doesn't want them to be themselves. (Fatal Attraction is a great case study on what we never want to be with a guy.)

ladyvie

"my biggest mistake usually is that I get to serious to fast, wanting something but not knowing exactly what it is I wanted. No one can bring you happiness and no guy can be everything we want him to be."

I used to do that all the time, meet a guy kiss talk on the phone and the next thing I know I AM IN THE RELATIONSHIP NOT HIM.


"Until I learned to appreciate the fact that I can eat what I want, buy what I want, and be happy in my own company did things start changing for me.

I have been there done that. I am at a point in my life where I must be friends with you first, be open and honest as friends get to know you, and if I have to walk away, be willing to walk away and still hold my head up because I know who and what I am and if a man can't deal with me as I deal with him then I don't need to be with him.

I will always believe that a relationship in any form should be 50/50,and have communication, and trust and if I can't have that in a friendship I know I won't have it in marriage.

Which goes back to the old saying "If you love someone Let them go"

Being a scorpio I am always thinking and analyzing everything, I sit still a lot and listen to my mind not my heart, the hearts clouds the mind up a lot. I focus on my happiness, with myself and never think or believe that I need a man to feel whole.

I am seeing an Aries, that I have known for 5 years as friends, and he came on to me, He said he has always liked me but he was trying to figure away to get me I guess, becuase I was not doing anything to entice him. And to this day I still ask him why me, and he just laugh and says "why not you" I am still a little shock you might say because I constantly ask him..."How did we get here" he just looks at me and laugh....But one thing I must say the Sex if off the chain.... he tells me I am greedy, and I say is that a problem and he says no somebody has to be greedy and I was like I can do that he said I will be greedy with you. Damn Him

Lonley its like two cats f---ing

MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Anyone else here a cap and dating a cap? Also, how does your capricorn males act when drinking?

Hi cap-n-cap!

Oh my goodness ... a capricorn is one of six signs that should stay AWAY from alcohol --no matter what we may tell you, we can not handle drinking ... substance abuse is something that capricorns should not get evolved with. Caps are already sensitive by nature, and alcohol and drugs just make our minds that much worst.

We are very emotional but refuse to show it most of the time so when we drink, it's like disturbing an ocean

Usually we can hide it very well, but a breakingpoint does come ...

Good stuff, CS. You're dead on!

Yes darn those men for making poor innocent sweethearts like addicted to interplay... I mean seriously!?!

As for drinking, etc. my Cap is still a partier type who drinks and then blames bad judgment on the alcohol... but he knows that I don't join him in that part of his life. Actually I think he respects me for that. But my reason is simply that I don't want to get to his extremes when he drinks... either way to possessive, not caring where we are and what he wants, or fighting... Very VERY early in the relationship he actually exposed my breast for a second at a restaurant because he felt like touching... I was going to KILL him! He had already been drinking for hours before I showed up (with his guy friends... sports game on.) Funny I hadn't thought about that in a long time now and all, but he knows that I respect myself way to much to put up with that nonsense ever!

I'm not good around 'em either, LC! (emotional people) But then when I get all emotional, I'm like...'hey what's wrong w/ you people! where's the love—" haha My parents are going through a divorce right now (and are 600 miles from me) and I have a hard time trying to console them even on the phone, especially my dad. It just makes me very ill at ease and my mind goes blank and I don't know what words to say. My younger Piscean sister is really shouldering the burden w/ it, as she also lives near them.

well, speaking of emotional caps, that is me today.... I am pulling what the male caps do and wanting to just walk away from it all... never answer his phone call again, let him wonder what the hell is wrong and if he wants to keep me then he will have to step up. I know this is so wrong... he really hasn't done anything wrong lately I am just emotionally drained of trying to figure this crap out... and scared of getting hurt so it seems the easy way out is walking away but I do love him. I am paranoid that he is going to go back to his exgirlfriend since I found a text message in his phone and saw that they have been talking lately.... I did ask him after I found it if he was seeing, dating, or talking to anyone elso including his ex and he said no and kinda laughed b/c he had just pulled the drunk... I want to date other people act days prior... but now I am examining every freaking move ... he is making plans for the future with us but I have also noticed him pulling back alittle - the last couple of days he has not been nearly as afficionate as usual and that scares me. Sorry I am rambling I just have got to get this off my chest or else I am going to just end up dissappearing from him and I don't want to make that mistake if he is not doing anything.

Its okay .... 🙂 You can let everything out here.

Yeah, I totally understand. When caps feel tons of burden, we like to pull disappearing acts ... sometimes its not warrented but other times its the only way to breathe again .....

yeah but it is so wrong - its like the only way I know how to do it is to push people away and become cold .... like a machine...actually I treat everything like it is business not emotion.... and that is not right either - I take heart out of it and use logic. I try not to make any decisions when i am like this but I have no clue what is going on with him anymore and I am tired of trying to figure it out. The sad thing is I don't know if I am blowing things out of proportion, or if it is warrented.

"I am pulling what the male caps do and wanting to just walk away from it all... never answer his phone call again, let him wonder what the hell is wrong and if he wants to keep me then he will have to step up. I know this is so wrong... he really hasn't done anything wrong lately I am just emotionally drained of trying to figure this crap out... and scared of getting hurt so it seems the easy way out is walking away but I do love him."

I pulled away just before the MIA started because I was on these boards in time to see the pattern and I did not want to deal with that and I broke it off, as much as I loved him I could not do it, and he agree to it. I would hear from him from time to time he would call or I would call. and then here it is 10 months later, and he confesses his feelings and claims he is married. Read my post (ex cap show up unannounced......). I know that in my mind and heart it is over and I have accepted that but I do still love him and that is ok.

My dear sweet cap

It is half 9 I set here in the cyber pub sucking on a scotch and air, never ever do anything with scotch to mess up the brew. always out of a brandy glass, anyhow
you are out of your f--king mind caps are at there best when they partake of samal amount of al k hal. I my self take in just a wee bit every day to keep myself fit. One must drink with moderation never to extremes , reasonable limits. may be 750 lit a day. no more just enough to take the edge off.

I dont see a whole lot of the patterns on this board.... I do see the insecurity and I do know b/c we talk about our feelings all the time that he is very scared to make another commitment... what I am scared of is b/c I have been reading these boards that I am analizing every move he makes and thinking.... is this just like what the board says... this poor guy I don't think can make a right move because of this!! and I am tired of questioning everything but yet don't want to be neive.

my god she is a stalker
every move he makes ever step he takes she'll be watching him.
OOHHHHHH can't you see he belongs to her
and so forth and so on.

I think she should get some space and pull away from him. The push-pull he's doing on you, being so severe as to throw up dating others when he wants space, is undermining the relationship.

JT~ You're a hoot! I'm about to go drink 750 ml of wine, not so much al k hal as if it were scotch, but it'll do!

overanalysis is the death of happiness... either cut it out or take that break you are contemplating so you find an inner peace...

Seriously a former boyfriend who I would never ever reconsider (Pisces) just commented that I seem alot happier these days. The answer is simply because I was happy to be with my Cap again. I would hope that Mr. Cap wouldn't take that as a threat that I still speak to people, because he should know without a doubt that he makes me happy. In fact Mr. Cap is the only ex I ever considered returning to in my entire life, and lucky me I do get offers all the time (but they don't mean a thing to me).

Happiness begins with you first!

Oh wow, see I mix heart and logic when I'm dealing with situations ... it can be difficult for me because I can't separate the two.

I just think you need a "time out" -- you don't even have to push people away, just take some time to get your thoughts together.

Hey how else do ya think I've been with the cap for four plus years? LOL

Hahaha, funny LOL, I see your point.

But I must beg the differ ....

Sometimes, your partner/ friend/ whomever isn't always prepared to share what they are dealing with, especially if they are very private.

Also, no matter how mcuh talking you do, its still not going to solve anything if you are not content within yourself.

Sometimes people just need a "time out" period to re-coup and get their heads together, then they decide to talk.

Nothings more annoying then omeone attempting to force me to "spill me guts" and I'm not ready.

Thats why most people get negative reactions from caps and anyone else for the matter because you are being pressured into something you are not ready for.

well, hello everyone. Just was reading all of the post that everyone had sent and thanks for the advise. Sorry about friday... as it seems I was just having one of those horrible days especially with work and something had to give... and I couldn't quit my job so I was taking it out on my boyfriend(mr Cap). As it turns out - I was so emotionallly exhausted once I got home that I was too tired to even have my wall up on friday night... once I saw him he pulled me outside and asked what happened at work and was so supportive and sweet. We ended up having a great weekend and I don't have any doubts about him. I learned this weekend to trust in us. We are both going to get scared and think about running because that is what we know how to do.. but we never fully run and the times are coming less and less frequent.
Bottom line, I know we both have our issues and I know I am not perfect and there are things I might even do to him( not on purpose) that trigger his insecurities that is why I do thank God we have a great communication... in fact he is much better than me - to make sure that I open up.

Again, thanks for listening this week.. and I am sure that I will get weak again or scared but it is not worth losing him.

Cap-n-Cap, that's really good news! Now, aside from the negative stuff, tell us more about the Cap you're with. Is he a Cap that is in his 30s (seems like Caps are much better when older), kids (no kids), etc.? I'm just curious to know about the Cap male who does communicate, haha!

ok, he is going to be 31 on his next birthday and I will be 30. He has been married before at a young age when he was in the air force, which he married a girl who had 2 kids already and then they had a beautiful little girl who is now 5. He has been divorced for 4 years now b/c his wife cheated on him with one of his friends. Who she is now married to and has a child with him. (Classy girl I tell you) He lives in a different state then them which makes it very hard for him and hurts him that he doesn't see his daughter that much. He is very sensitive. He does love to talk, in fact there has been many a nights where I get no sleep because he wants to stay up and talk. He is a romantic at heart... when ever we go to my beach house - we unpack the car and immediately go for a walk on the beach together and talk... as he says this is our ritual and he makes sure we follow through with it. He is extrememly loyal to his friends even the ones that don't deserve it ( probably more to them then the ones that do) and loves to help people... he thrives on it... I think it is because he needs to feel needed. He has beautiful blue eyes and we have the same since of humor....which I love b/c there are times that we can't stop laughing. He does have his very serious moods which is usually when he is worrying about problems and starts to get depressed. he is very hard on himself and I do worry about his self esteem when it comes to business which is hard for me to understand b/c this is one area which I thrive in. He absolutley loves music infact, it is the one thing that can change his mood... he does like to live in his past alot... which poses problems at times, b/c he wont let go of past mistakes or bad situations. all, in all, our relationship is at 4 months and I do not fall in love easily especailly in this amount of time! It takes me a very long time to do this normally, and I don't know if it is because we do have long, deep talks or that se have spent so much time together- but I feel like I have been with him for years and just the other day -we were watching football and eating at a restaurant and I actually realized that I am in love with him - which scares me to death and I fight my instincts to run... (which he knows and makes fun of me all the time b/c we have talked about me doing that)... that is pretty much it....

Thanks LC, I couldn't agree more about the cap's instinct to flee when faced with overwhelming emotions or insecurities I think that is why when his behavior is bad I can relate b/c I know exactly how he feels. Don't get me wrong, I don't let him on that I have those feelings to flee or do I try and do anything to make him think I am. He wears his emotions on his sleeve and acts out about the way he is feeling. I hope we also continue to support and grow together.. I do love him. and this is something that I can't believe I am telling to people I have never met but just to let you know how hard it is to say this or be in another relationship -- my last boyfriend that I was with for all together 6 years. (which he did leave me in the middle of and married the girl he cheated on me with then divorced 6 months later and came back) killed himself right after we got off the phone one night (this was almost 2 years ago) ....

So I really do hope this works out... but either way I have learned to enjoy life in the present... and yes, my cap does know about this relationship - he actually knew my ex from high school.

Well, LC , to be honest with you - I don't look at it like a tragic story anymore, it is sad, YES, did it hurt, YES but I really tried to take any positives I could out of the situation... if I didn't then his death would really be in vain... what I did learn is that in relationships I would not open up... at all.. would not admit my feelings and in fact would get very cold.. I do not ever want to be that person again. That is why I am thankful for my cap now b/c he makes it very easy for me to open up b/c he does. The way I look at it is the situation I went through, as horrible as it was (and I really don't know how I made it through it) made me who I am today and maybe got me ready for this relationship... God has everything happen for a reason.

I won't say what my cap went through during his past relationship as it seems a betrayal to talk about online. (Serious the girl watched one too many soap opera stories about how to keep a guy around and pulled a stunt that only silly soap opera villianous women do to keep a man.) But he had no idea what to say to me when one day I said, "You know what, I'm glad she did that to you because if she hadn't we wouldn't be together now." I think he likes it when I shock him out of the blue with stuff like that.

Opps the end was cut out, just wanted to say that I understand not seeing the past as a tragedy though it sucks that he isn't there to see the little girl. I myself have never been in love really and I've just floated around in and out of relationships without getting attached to anyone for long. So I have no baggage except that whole being emotionally open bit which is so hard for me though I think that I'm an open book.

Yeah, it does upset me that he doesn't get to see his little girl,but he tries to make the best of it when he does have her.... I am nervous about meeting her... but looking forward to it.. She looks just like him!

Whoa... cap-n-cap, you freaked me out for a minute there! Mine will be thirty, married young when in the army, has been divorced 4 yrs., wife cheated on him causing the divorce, blue eyes and alot of the other personality traits at least in the beginning so much so that I doubted his sincerity bc. the heart was being worn on the sleeve right off the bat. His ex remarried fairly quickly and he has no kids. does yours have any Pisces in his chart?? Why do so many of these military wives cheat??

LC~ that would tend to make him more sensitive, dreamy, romantic (pisces moon or venus)... I'm a pisces mars/ cap. venus!

I don't understand cheating, playing people, stringing... I like to believe that the majority of people are of good intentions and that it's just miscommunication, confusion, and "issues" causing the perceived "playing" and "stringing"... but if a person's not communicating much, then you're left to wonder and guess.

TGWC~ hey! Makes sense. (I emailed you this a.m.?)

I'm the same way, LC! Reserved... and apprehensive to trust/throw myself OPeNLY into things... I surely may be thinking alot about the guy and falling or whatnot... but I will keep all that to myself until I'm ready. I'm sure it's cost me a couple-few opportunities/ potential ones. Love is a serious matter though, moreso as I'm getting older.

"puddle of goo"!!!! LOL 😛 Had to come back for comment on that one! That's good and about right on... especially the "GOO" part. I'm thinking like cookie dough or cake batter... but warm, like when it's been put in the oven? LOL 😉