The capricorn is draining my soul............

OK ladies, here is the latest juice.

So it starts like this: Cappy and I are fighting over xmas trip, should I meet his parents or not, I am pushing for yes, he is unsure as per usual. SO Friday am I basically tell him to take a hike and call me sometime, he writes me a email that he is sorry and he would love for me to meet his fam over xmas, and that is is still afraid of committment (after 14 months?). OK so he comes over later that night all apologizes and loving and open, etc. Wow, I think, what a great side of him, sweet, tender, loving, OPEN. So today rolls around and I am looking into booking tickets, he has now placed a cap on my visit, can't be longer than three days and in no way am I to be there for the whole time...WHAT? This feels wrong to me, so after he leaves I call him and ask if he feel resentful for giving in to me, and he says "No, I want you to come down just not for the whole time, it would be too much for you to be with my family for that long." ok, kind of true but still isn't that up to me to say? I am a big girl, I am more than capable of realizing that 3-4 days is better than 5-6, but does it really matter—
I am now at the point where I don't even want to go, like a need a break from the cappy as he is draining my soul of life.

In all honesty, I would probably feel exactly the same way. But if I posted this concern here, I'd like for you to tell me that it's really not a big deal. Sometimes we worry that the other person might not see things the way we see them... it's probably the same concern that had him thinking twice about you going on the trip. He just had to tell you, .... just in case.

WTML, it sounds like he hasn't told his parents about you and he's leary about springing this on them all of a sudden. 14 months and still no committment seems a bit odd, but then Caps are slower than Taurus in committing.

I would hate for you to book this trip and then you and he get into another disagreement about this. Why don't you put the ball in his court and have him book the tickets? See how he reacts to that. If he books them, then he's serious about you. If he hesitates and doesn't book (because it's already down to the wire for booking), then he has deeper issues that you and he need to discuss.

And yes, you're a big girl, but these are HIS parents, so I side with him in terms of the amount of time to spend there. Like I said, it sounds like he hasn't told them about you.

Thanks all,

Man you people know caps, totally spot on! Yes his parents know all about me, and have for almost a year, his mother always asks about me when she calls, and his dad does to (they live 4 hours plane ride away).

I think there are many elements at play
1. slow, slow cappy, slow to committment, slow to speak, slow to think good things
2. Over thinking everything (like I haven't meet a boyfriends parents before, duh?
3. Afraid his mom and I will not get along,
4. He hasn't brought a girl home since High School (8 years),
5. What will this sort of committment say, to me, to his parents?

ok, now I have made the list, i can see why Mr, Cap is totally flipping out.
Bought both our tickets today, so there is NO turning back : )

WTML, did you buy both of the tickets? Or did he?

HP74
I believ WTML bought the tkts..logically thats te way it shud be since she was so eager to meet his parents and not the other way around.

BT, I figured as such. I'm just concerned that they're going to have a falling out before this is all said and done. Perhaps I'm being cynical, but I'm one to speak my mind. Sorry and I hope I'm not right.

Bitter you are correct, I bought my own ticket and booked his at the same time (so we can fly back together). Cappy has been behaving lately.

Capman, they love to test, they need to not only edge you to the cliff but push you over just to make sure you are loyal and committed. I called him out out it and continue to do so, I refuse to take anymore crap from him, really, its immature and hurtful, and not something you should do to the person you love and care about.

Good luck with everything WTML

"Capman, they love to test, they need to not only edge you to the cliff but push you over just to make sure you are loyal and committed."

🙂
Oh I love this statement and its so true-they actually push u over to find out what u are made of. But the taurus woman knows that and more! More power to us ..

Pushing over a Taurus is not easy. Testing the limits is okay, but really, after 14 months?? The cappy is hiding something embarrasing and afraid the family will let the cat out of the bag. As a Taurus I just expect to be trusted because of how I live my life. If you are living " how you feel is right" (no right or wrong) then this has been 14 months of booty call. Go on the trip, ignore him and hang out with the family the whole time. Then when you get back, get real. One day we all die, why waste precious time?
Sorry if too much.

Oh, and if cappy is trying to find what we are made of?? Let the cappy know we are made of steal and the real deal. So get it or not, make the call.

I agree, with both of you. Life is too short to muck around, but thats the way he rolls and he has every right to think/act/react as he does as he is human and an individual. One thing I have learned from my boy, the bigger and more dramatic the fights, the closer he comes to me, and the more he trusts me. Its like he needs to see how I will be when the crapo really hits the fan, Taurus women can be so calm and centered, I guess that we are hard to read and by pushing me he is able to see the other side of the bull.

I know alot about his family and I think he is a little concerned about his mother, he is an only child and she is very strong and opinionated, I think he is afraid she will say something really inappropriate or really direct to me. Well the tickets are booked and he was telling me all the cool places he is going to take me to eat/go out/run etc., I really, really think the bottom line to all his fear is simply the fear of commitment, taking a girl home for xmas is pretty serious, especially as one grows older.
But, again, life is short, cappy needs to learn to relax...

No, never a cap. I just recently made a cap friend. They are serious and cautious (sometimes in the wrong area). I love my cap friend. I was just commenting as a whole that after 14 months? At a certain age in life you realize there is no changing some people. Say and do what you want, people change themselves. I wouldn't want to fight to be in someone's life but it's her decision. Just had a comment.
Fear of the mother saying something to you? Tell him you are woman enough to handle whatever she says. He's worried after 14 months, something is wrong. Maybe he's seen you go off?? That's okay. I can't stand the moms that say something about the girlfriend/boyfriend. Years ago, if my mother had something to say about a boyfriend I told her to say it to the face of the person. Don't ask me about. If I let anyone know that I date to direct the mother to me. I don't want my answers sugar coated before they reach her or misqouted. As individuals we fight and work to hard to pay bills and take care of life things. Why let something like that even be an issue, Sorry, I vent sometimes to. I don't mean to sound rude or to dis you. You got this.

no offence taken, its hard on these threads to get the whole story, but the bottom line is that capmen are tough to get through to and most the women (and men) on this thread can understand the silly hoops we jump through for them. I agree its BS but sometimes we have to sacrfice a little for love : )