Capricorn distant during stressful times

Hello, I would appreciate any insight on my current situation. Perhaps some of you are going through the same?

Been dating a Capricorn guy for two months. The first month was amazing. Talking to each other several times every day and seeing each other more than three times a week. We decided not to date anyone else because we were both falling in love with each other (we both actually verbalized it).
But one month into this bliss, he unfortunately gets fired and things start to change completely. He is very stressed out, because he has a mortgage and is just renovating his new house and moving in. He told me he still likes me, and that he does not want to break up. He just needs time to sort this out and asked me to be patient.

So I told him that I was supportive of him, that I would give him space and if he needed to talk, or just hang out and have fun, I would also be there.
I just text him every once in a while, just to say Hi and tell him I miss him and i am stull there for him. Don't push him to meet or anything else. He texts back later in the day or te next day, without elaborating on how he is doing but telling me he misses me. In sum, this second month I have only seen him once and talked to him on the phone just twice for just a few minutes. We have only been texting, but as i said, not too much, and specially not like it used to be.

I feel so sorry he is going through such a hard time. And I can't do anything to help him. I also feel bad because I miss what we had so much, and I know that is selfish. So I keep on thinking that after he is better, things might get back on track.

But what worries me the most, is that if he gets sooo distant and so focused on his job, he will end up losing interest. Distance some times does NOT make the heart grow fonder, and if he is not asking for help during these times, he might just get used to and like being alone. Also, i do deal with stress differently. So I just don't know if I should tell him how I feel. If I should ask to get reassurance of how he feels or perhaps to make an effort for our relationship. After all why doesn't he have a few minutes in the day to talk to me and share how he is feeling? But I think if I do that, that might add more stress. So I wonder if I just keep on doing what I have been doing, give him space and time.

I have never dated any capps before, so I wonder is this how they deal with stress? Or should I really worry that he is not into me anymore

Posted by 88NNPISCES
awe 😢, beautiful I was hoping you would be very patient.
cause I couldn't even make it on the first stage of dating. lol

I told stoic, I am going to torture every capricorn male who crosses my path from now on. lmao

Be careful, 88. Saturn is Karma's natural abode, and she is watching you.

Posted by R24
LOL Bonita88, I will have to leave this patience thing to the Taureans/Virgos/Capricorns because I'm no "Job." I am feeling a little remorseful, though, because I really liked him... but, at the same time, I feel free!

No one has time for that!

^Fixed it for you.^ 😛

Posted by R24

Posted by StoicGoat

Posted by R24
LOL Bonita88, I will have to leave this patience thing to the Taureans/Virgos/Capricorns because I'm no "Job." I am feeling a little remorseful, though, because I really liked him... but, at the same time, I feel free!

No one has time for that!

(I can use all the double negatives I want now since I don't date Virgos or Caps (although I'm open to trying a fiery Cap if he happens to cross my path).

^Fixed it for you.^ 😛

LOL, smh!

click to expand

Good to see you back around! 😄

Posted by R24
I was seeing a cap guy too. Just broke it off a few minutes ago due to the same behavior you described. I am tired of being emotionally starved, being patient, walking on egg shells to not intrude on his space and waiting around until he decides he wants to communicate, the hot/cold/on/off/close/distant/etc., etc. BS. He is probably a good guy, so someone more patient and deserving can have at it since I've had it. Goat is great when its served hot. But if this experience is typical, its cold the majority of the time.

But good luck with your guy. He is dealing with a lot of butter.

I've been "suffering" with a Scorpio EXACTLY this way and thinking just like you. Not the first time I'm dealing with his distance but its like I seriously cannot go thru the same shit again just when I think we're getting closer. *Sigh*

See, I see no point in rushing on one end, but on the other, knowing how quickly a guy can mentally decide if you are "the one" would make me extremely impatient, especially if I feel Im not even being considered.

Whenever I decide to start dating, Im not going to put in more than 3-6 months for him to decide that he wants to be with me forever. Of course, I most likely wont be on the same page, but thats beside the point lol.

OP, do whatever feels comfortable to you. I personally think we suck at multitasking, which is another reason why we go cold...to focus on one thing at a time, and more than likely he is beyond stressed right now so his current situation has ALL of his attention. Of course its no fair to you, but only you know how much you can take and for how long. Caps have absolutely no control over what lies ahead in these situations..as even if there is a backup it stilk is probably not where he'll want to be mentally/emotionally, so I cant give much hope for him as of now, unfortunately. Just focus on and listen to you.

Thanks all for the great comments!

I see now that Caps might require lot of patience. It is something I am not good at. :S

But, the thing is that I still do not know whether this guy is worth it or not. We still do not know each other very well. The only thing I know is that the first month, was the BEST first month I have had with anyone. He took care of me, 100% , completely. That is why in part, this has been a shock to me, the change. But if at some point, after things settle down, it comes back to what we had, then it might be worth waiting and suffering through this. 🙂 Before he got fired, he told me he was not happy at work. But he could not quit YET, as he wanted to spend time with me, his friends and settle in the house.

So I take the risk, and I wait. Lets see. But yes, one thing is clear, it really sucks to be on the other side, specially when the relationship is so new that the feelings might not be strong enough (on both sides) to handle stress like this. :S

Thanks again!

Posted by Lenore0908
Well, i can only give my opinion. capricorn guys (the ones I know) tend to be very masculine and don't mind being alone. When it comes to dealing with them, the best thing I can say is "they are not women". So if they are stressed out, they won't come to you to talk about it. Masculine men don't talk about their problems, in MY experience. So my take would be to give him space and don't bring up the relationship. When he calls you could say something like, "hey I'm so glad to hear from you, when I don't hear from your for so long, it makes me think that you don't want to talk to me anymore."

But just remember that he is not a woman, he's a man and he is going to process his problems differently. He's not going to multitask, typically, and again, this is my opinion.

Wow! That was great! Very insightful. Right on the mark, too! Initially I couldn't understand why they "Go Dark" when something is going on their lives. Later, I figured it out that this is the way they operate. They go all "ninja" & disappear into the darkness. Weeks later, they re-appear again as if nothing has happened. But usually, you can tell from the way they are talking to you again, that they've everything already sorted out.

And Woo! It's been ages since I used the "ninja" reference for Cap men 😛

And incidentally, for those who don't know, the "Go Dark" reference is from the TV series "24". "Going Dark" is a signature move of the show??s protagonist Jack Bauer. It refers to Jack??s ability to just fall completely off the grid. No communication. No phone, no text, no email, homing beacon, no smoke signals, no fax, no Facebook, no Twitter, no nothing! Jack is played by, (who else?) a Capricorn --- Kiefer Sutherland 🙂

His focus right now is on finding another job. Don't take it personally that he is distant. Caps identify themselves with their career. He probably doesn't want to stay involved until he has his act together. If he says he misses you, he does. You can believe it.

Everyone complains about how patient you have to be to be with a cap, BUT, a cap is worth the patience! Once a cap determines you will be loyal, you get that back ten fold!

Posted by truecap
Everyone complains about how patient you have to be to be with a cap, BUT, a cap is worth the patience! Once a cap determines you will be loyal, you get that back ten fold!

Yes! Agree. That is why I will wait and check if things get back to normal, which will mean it is not me. If they don't, then I know he wasn't that into me. :S

Posted by LibraBSW

Posted by truecap
Everyone complains about how patient you have to be to be with a cap, BUT, a cap is worth the patience! Once a cap determines you will be loyal, you get that back ten fold!

Yes! Agree. That is why I will wait and check if things get back to normal, which will mean it is not me. If they don't, then I know he wasn't that into me. :S

click to expand

Good plan!

Posted by R24
I don't seek scorpio males (I "suffer" enough just being me) though some of them can be obsessive. A lot of scorpios will distance themselves so they don't get obsessed and lose themselves in another person. Especially if there is some goal they are working on (eg: I would not date when I was in college). I don't think caps are motivated by that when they distance themselves, IDK though. But what is so toxic and frustrating about this, is these kind of men seem to know how to give you just enough to keep you hanging on (unhappily) and then you start to feel grateful for little scraps of attention. Nah. I'd rather be lonely and free than lonely and hanging on

"I'd rather be lonely and free than lonely and hanging on "

AMEN!

Yeah I think we do withdraw when we are stressed. My car broke down on Saturday and I was stressed about it so I slept on the sofa because my fiance is a light sleeper he gets up when he senses I am awake. He was a bit hurt in the morning that I did so but I needed space without him staying up with me. I don't think you should take it personally.

That similar situation has happened to me before. Of course me and my woman were together a few months when i got laid off. I got so depressed i stopped leaving the house. I started watching tv. ALOT. I Started ignoring her. She ended up showing up to my house. With nothing but heals and a trench coat. We had some very wild sex. Than we talked and i felt better. From now on if i get that nasty Cap emotional bug. She cuddles me and watches tv with me. OR Tries to make me laugh. It works everytime.

Posted by Cap4Life
That similar situation has happened to me before. Of course me and my woman were together a few months when i got laid off. I got so depressed i stopped leaving the house. I started watching tv. ALOT. I Started ignoring her. She ended up showing up to my house. With nothing but heals and a trench coat. We had some very wild sex. Than we talked and i felt better. From now on if i get that nasty Cap emotional bug. She cuddles me and watches tv with me. OR Tries to make me laugh. It works everytime.

Ha! I would love to do the trenchcoat strategy!! 🙂 But I think if I do that he will think I am a freaking weirdo, we have only been together for two months... :S
Plus I thought when you guys are stressed out you dont feel like sex that much. 😉 :=)

Posted by Cap4Life
That similar situation has happened to me before. Of course me and my woman were together a few months when i got laid off. I got so depressed i stopped leaving the house. I started watching tv. ALOT. I Started ignoring her. She ended up showing up to my house. With nothing but heals and a trench coat. We had some very wild sex. Than we talked and i felt better. From now on if i get that nasty Cap emotional bug. She cuddles me and watches tv with me. OR Tries to make me laugh. It works everytime.

Thanks for this - it really helped with my capi today!!