Capricorn Male Baby Daddy, Need Advice

Hello,

I am new here and would like some advice about my current situation. I had an off again on again relationship with a Cap, we always broke up and got back together and all we would do is argue. I got pregnant last year and we stopped talking altogether. Closer to the end of my pregnancy we started talking again and decided that we will focus on raising a healthy person. Focus on raising the child.

I would really like to get back together with him, but there has been no talk of that on his end. He didn't tell much people about my pregnancy, the majority found out because of stuff I posted on Facebook. Even when the baby was born, only 4 friends said congrats...he has 1000 plus friends. It's only when I announced it to the world on my page, did our mutual friends begin posting stuff on his.

His status still says single 😢. And I recently found out that while were out of contact during my pregnancy he started chilling with another female he has known for over ten years and who he was always in love with.

Help, granted he did not want the child when I first got pregnant, he has not come around and is committed to being there for the baby. How do I get him to love me? I fear that due to our ROCKY past and many break ups it may be a lost cause.

Advice?

Last paragraph should read that he HAS come around and is committed to being there for the baby.

He is 32, and I am 29.

"Last paragraph should read that he HAS come around and is committed to being there for the baby."

I was about to say lol! I think that's the most important thing right now, that he's committed to raising your/his child. There's no real way in knowing what he feels about you, unless you ask, but if he was away during the majority of your pregnancy, has made no attempts at getting back together, and has not mentioned a future then it's probably best to assume he's moved on.

I mean, feelings could still be there, but I'm not sure if he's going to come forward with them.

"How do I get him to love me?"

You can't. It looks like he is only there because he created a baby with you - that's the closest commitment you'll get from him. 😢

Posted by lnana04
"Last paragraph should read that he HAS come around and is committed to being there for the baby."

I was about to say lol! I think that's the most important thing right now, that he's committed to raising your/his child. There's no real way in knowing what he feels about you, unless you ask, but if he was away during the majority of your pregnancy, has made no attempts at getting back together, and has not mentioned a future then it's probably best to assume he's moved on.

I mean, feelings could still be there, but I'm not sure if he's going to come forward with them.

Thanks for the input. I have asked one of his close friends...coward I know and he said that the Caps exact response is a relationship with me is not even a consideration right now. That we had too much strife, arguing in the past.

He did say 'right now' so is it crazy to think that there is a possibility in the future? Is it crazy to hope that the baby will bring us closer together romantically or even fix the relationship?

Posted by BullBeauty
"How do I get him to love me?"

You can't. It looks like he is only there because he created a baby with you - that's the closest commitment you'll get from him. 😢

I get you. Is it crazy to hope that a baby will bring us closer together? He did tell one of his friends that a relationship is not up for consideration right now....

It's not crazy to hope, but don't put all of your eggs in one basket relying on just him for your fairy tale ending.
He honestly doesn't seem like a good person reading how he reacted prior to your baby being born.

Posted by leosimone

Posted by BullBeauty
"How do I get him to love me?"

You can't. It looks like he is only there because he created a baby with you - that's the closest commitment you'll get from him. 😢

I get you. Is it crazy to hope that a baby will bring us closer together? He did tell one of his friends that a relationship is not up for consideration right now....

click to expand

"Is it crazy to hope that the baby will bring us closer together romantically or even fix the relationship?"

Yeeeahh, I honestly is crazy and I had a feeling you hoped the baby would bring a different outcome. It doesn't really work like that, not with Caps anyway. He will do what he needs to do for his child, but that has nothing at all to do with you. In his mind, it's two totally separate situations. If anything the past between the two of you has put a stop on the future.

Aside from the fact that you have this man??s baby, the bottom line still remains that a man (especially a Cap one) isn't going to be persuaded into anything until he is darn good and ready. Therefore, I wouldn't put any hopes into having a relationship beyond co-parenting with your Cap until if and/or when he decides that he wants same. From what you??ve said being a father to his child is his priority right now not trying to rekindle a romantic relationship with you. And, unfortunately, this may be the way of things from here on out. If things do turnaround for you two as far as another attempt at a relationship beyond parenthood then it will be at his discretion and not a minute before. Right now all you can do is be a good mother and work with your Cap to provide a loving environment for your baby. If you in anyway try to —force?? the relationship issue aside from this you will likely meet with resistance and quite possibly resentment, especially if there is a woman in the picture that your Cap has true feelings for and sees as the one he wants to have a future with. If it's real for him then you having his baby will not alter that course.

Posted by Pidelight
Aside from the fact that you have this man??s baby, the bottom line still remains that a man (especially a Cap one) isn't going to be persuaded into anything until he is darn good and ready. Therefore, I wouldn't put any hopes into having a relationship beyond co-parenting with your Cap until if and/or when he decides that he wants same. From what you??ve said being a father to his child is his priority right now not trying to rekindle a romantic relationship with you. And, unfortunately, this may be the way of things from here on out. If things do turnaround for you two as far as another attempt at a relationship beyond parenthood then it will be at his discretion and not a minute before. Right now all you can do is be a good mother and work with your Cap to provide a loving environment for your baby. If you in anyway try to —force?? the relationship issue aside from this you will likely meet with resistance and quite possibly resentment, especially if there is a woman in the picture that your Cap has true feelings for and sees as the one he wants to have a future with. If it's real for him then you having his baby will not alter that course.

Thanks, I guess there is nothing I can do to persuade him. It really hurts when I see the 'Single' status on his Facebook page and when I found out he didn't tell much people I was pregnant, not even his siblings and I know his brother.

I did a maternity shoot and had one of his friends tag him (We had deleted each other from FB). When he realized he was tagged he untagged himself. I sent a friend request, which he accepted but then hid ALL his pics. I heard he was having lots of fun during my pregnancy.

I guess he will come along in his own time.

Posted by PurpleDiamond
You might as well move on and focus on being a good mother to your child and allow him to do his part in his childs life. You tried to trap him into a committed relationship and all you did was push him away for good. Babies do not change MEN period regardless of sign, actually it breeds resentment. He proved to you during your pregnancy that he felt no obligation to you what so ever. Now that the child is here he's showing his obligation to the child which is what he's suppose to do. Now your emotions are all over the place because your little plan didn't work while he's happy and going on with his life and will choose the woman he wants to be with and have a future with her. I wish girls would realize they only hurt themselves when they have a baby by a man who has not asked her to be his wife. Now you have a child that's going to get the short end of the stick because of your selfishness.

It is most unfortunate if this was the mindset behind the pregnancy as is the case in far too many of these situations. I often wonder how we as women convince ourselves that such an act is gonna make a man love us and "do right" even when it is in your face obvious for whatever reason that the man's feelings have cooled or changed altogether even if they continue to want sex from us. Most times this is a huge red flag to a man that you can't be trusted and that you will use any means possible to trick/trap him into or remaining in a relationship that he no longer wants yet you can't let go of. Rarely do I see these situations work out for the best of all those involved and, more times than not, it is the child of these types of desperate games that the innocent child suffers more than the parents especially if one or both use said child as a pawn between them for unresolved issues especially if the relationship ended badly.

Posted by leosimone


I had an off again on again relationship with a Cap

we always broke up and got back together and all we would do is argue.

Advice?

so uhm, why do you want to get back together with someone that you had an unstable relationship with and whom you argue with all the time? because you got knocked up? this isn't the 1950's. a baby doesn't guarantee that a man will wife you.

you have stated in a very clear and concise manner that your relationship wasn't working before the child? what type of happy pills did they put you on after the pregnancy to make you think it'll work now?