Capricorns can be over the top—?

Ok. I'm hoping for some insight here. Being a leo I'm overly optimistic and intense. I have been playing it cool with this cap guy, but he's the intense one?!

He's in his mid thirties if that helps with replies. He's amazing in every sense of the word. We talk all day every day about everything. Deep stuff, random info and we're both playful. He's never tried to pursue more than kissing me and is very respectful. We've been talking for appx a month. Neither of us are seeing other people (he brought up the question). But his mom and friends all know about me already. I'm desperately trying to stay grounded but its almost impossible.

He's told me a lot of things about his life, his feelings, etc. We make each other laugh nonstop. He's commented that I'm part of his life now. It all seems to be "perfect" but I can't help but be cautious. Any thoughts on this—?

I would say, take ur time and live in the moment and enjoy it. Personally I like when girls take initiative but I can also wait it out to be sure that it is u that I want, if that makes any sense?
I would say this, if he said that ur now part of his life and if he has told ur family about u, then I think u mean a great deal to him, it would to me when I tell my family about a girl.

I am not wondering why he hasn't tried to have sex. It's actually nice to be around a guy who isn't trying lol!

I was just always under the impression that cap guys are turtle slow and boring (no offense meant at all!). He does have a lot of textbook traits though. I'm kind of amazed that our core values are very similar as well as our personalities.

I guess I'm just waiting for the disappearing act 😉

OVER THE TOP
NO SHIT
I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT

By "over the top" I mean that he is doing all of the pursuing. He calls/texts first before I even get a chance. He tells me exactly how he feels also. I know I'm irresistible and all...hahaha jk! 😄 I just thought going into this that I would have to be very mindful of how intense I can be, but he welcomes it (and tops it at times)

I think he is crazy about you. Just let him take the lead and enjoy the ride.

Thanks truecap! I think he is too, and I'm trying to just sit back and enjoy it 🙂 it's kind of nice to be "emotionally pampered" lol

Just be careful, and give something back. Problem with me is that I care too much about the only 2 friends i have who are girls and I have done alot for these girls and now I'm starting to feel like I'm taken for granted, not a great feeling so just be good to him and give something back so he feels appreciated.

Thanks langvad. I always give everything I have to people, especially those close to me, usually before they can even ask. I actually have a hard time asking for help or taking anything. I can assure you that taking advantage of anyone isn't even possible for me. But it's funny you say that because he feels the same way as you, like too many people take advantage of him.

I think he means, if he's there for you, you better be there for him. If he helps you, even if he never needs it, you better be willing to help him when he does need it. If he listens to your problems, you better be willing to listen to his. Example. There are a lot of people who want our advice over and over and over, yet when we need theirs, they are too busy to listen.

Also, if I fix something for you or spend a lot of time on something for you, make me some cookies or something as a thank you.



Sorry, Langvad. I wasn't trying to speak for you, but I felt like I knew what you meant.

Posted by truecap
I think he means, if he's there for you, you better be there for him. If he helps you, even if he never needs it, you better be willing to help him when he does need it. If he listens to your problems, you better be willing to listen to his. Example. There are a lot of people who want our advice over and over and over, yet when we need theirs, they are too busy to listen.

+1

I will do a lot for people I care about. But if they find their own troubles more important whenever the need arises for them to help me it can really mean you get put in a different mental box.

I THINK ITS TRUECAP
MADE UP LIKE A MAN BE CARFUL BE VERY CARFUL

BY THE WAY TRUECAP HAS THROWN ME UNDER THE BUS A COUPLE OF TIMES

Awww, Tate! I wouldn't do that to you! I love you!

*big, wet, sloppy smooch*

You guys are great! Lol. I actually offered advice as just my "opinion" to help. Leo's are often perceived as selfish but we're really not. At least this one isn't. Since my original post, he's made me dinner, is still completely respectful physically and kisses my nose 🙂 It's kind of weird but I feel like I don't have to be such a lioness. It's nice. But he's well aware of what I am and capable of, if that makes any sense...I guess content is the best word.

That's great!!

For what its worth, I always thought Leos were very kind and generous. 🙂

suck up

Posted by FoxGlove
Langvad -- I'm interested in your comment about 'giving something back' -- what is a good way to do that with a Cap? What sorts of behaviors make you guys feel happy/appreciated?

Just say or do something nice, so that we know u care, personal stuff that has taken some consideration is big with me. And be careful about playing mindgames with us. Tell us upfront what u would like and get to the point, if u want a relationship or at least if u are interested in us tell us.

Don't know if that answers ur question 🙂

Posted by truecap
Also, if I fix something for you or spend a lot of time on something for you, make me some cookies or something as a thank you.



Sorry, Langvad. I wasn't trying to speak for you, but I felt like I knew what you meant.

No problem 🙂 I think we agree, just saw ur answer now and I put some more in my answer for her.

Thought I'd add an update 🙂 things are even better than they were when I started this thread. I'm going to admit that I'm definitely shocked. We are still talking throughout the day, everyday, we have developed a way of amusing each other with life's drama. Just kind of making funny perspectives to the everyday stresses that come up. I have been half expecting a disappearing act, and I know it will happen at some point, but he's the most open guy I may have ever met. There's no mind games or need to guess where each other stands.

I know it's still new, and I'm cautiously building a foundation, but I can honestly say I've never been so at ease and just enjoyed someone for who they are.

Thanks again for everyone's insight.

Hi,

Just read your posts, am in a similar situation as you Leo...well the cap in my case has gone to emotional aloofness stage.

Well it started beautifully, over the top, was so forthcoming when he it came to his feelings...said all the right things...and I was like wow this is too good to be true....I was reciprocating, it just felt natural, no inhibitions at all....He said that he wants to take another month to take things forward..so I just smiled and said ok..

And now I don't know what's going on...he has had a bit to deal with on the personal front..which I understood and just let him be... When you start a new relationship, one expects it to flourish and progress, ours has started digressing...and I honestly have no idea why...I sit and keep assuming things and am sick of it...

He keeps in touch with me constantly, but is very aloof, when we met I asked him, what's going on, where do we stand and he said that he was happy and felt good around me and that we will talk about it the following week, the following week passed by and no talks...not that I want to label this relationship but I wonder where we stand, cause as Leo's we like to be cautious and not get hurt...

While he is in touch with me through and through he refuses to initiate meeting up...I did it 3-4 times which he agreed to do...but now am sick of making the moves...I even asked him that we need to talk to which he said sure and we can meet for lunch tomorrow, and he never called. Calls me in the evening to apologize that he couldn't make it..I was cold cause I was upset that he has taken me for granted and didnt bother even letting me know that lunch was off... we didnt talk for a day until I made the call and he was fine....

While the communication is back to normal, I am not able to understand what he wants out of this...he seems to be doing his own number attending social do's and keeping me informed about what he is upto...I mean seriously you come and tell me that you have problems, and I didnt bother you and you seem to be chilling and having fun while I am in a state of limbo as to where this is headed...

I have been extremely patient with him, and that is one trait Leo's do not have ...Patience...

I honestly now have no clue what to do...should I just move on, cause he is clearly avoiding the chat that we need to have...

Sorry to pour it out...but any cappie's willing to give me some insight...would be highly appreciated.
Is he even interested, shou

Leo80, how long have yall been together?

Well, he's keeping contact. That's a good thing. Caps aren't good communicators and we don't even talk to our friends and family this much. So, for what it's worth, when he contacts you, have the perception that he's thinking about you.

He informs you of what he's up to and where he's going. That's huge. If he didn't care about you, he wouldn't give two cents to let you know and would have the attitude that its none of your business.

Okay. Now the bad. He's avoiding "the talk". He most likely doesn't know how he feels so he doesn't want to be on the spot. Period. Let it go and let things develop naturally. If you keep saying "we need to talk", he will continue to avoid it and eventually will avoid you.

Lean back, let him initiate.

Now the generalization. Leo's are awesome and fun and good for us, but at the same time, they can drain us emotionally. Leos want to constantly know where things stand and it literally exhausts us as capricorns. We're not too good with emotions. If you want to keep the cap you WILL have to be patient.

If it makes you feel better, this is the lesson I am learning myself.

thank you truecap for taking time out...appreciate it...well I realised that he doesnt want to talk...but what's with not meeting up...like it gives me mixed signals and makes me feel like am an option in his life.... I dont doubt him with other women or anything of that sort, but he makes me feel that way.

I know he is a very intense man...it's really unfair dont you think so. keep me hanging,I am thinking of anyway backing off, cause its emotionally draining me off too...

We have been together for 2 months now...the mind is field and you know it can think and assume even if there's nothing there....How long should I wait it out?

Posted by Leostrong


I was just always under the impression that cap guys

You were not. NOW You are.

Ok heres capp GUY input.


**I'm going to write WE alot, but keep in mind that I cant speak for all caps just because I am one**

1. If we are distant it is because we are no longer fully balanced. From what I'm reading
??we didnt talk for a day until I made the call and he was fine....?? He is putting up his walls through false stability, if he was really FINE he would be back to how it was in the beggining, initiating contact and being open. He is obviously not FINE, so my advise is to tell him something along the lines of
??I know you, you??ve been avoiding me and I want to know what is wrong because I care deeply about YOUR emotions.?? (Notice i didnt phrase it ??[ I NEED] to know where we stand??)

2. Dont be selfish. You??re post is mostly about what YOU feel is going on, how his attitude is affecting YOU and what YOU should do with YOUR doubts.

??And now I don't know what's going on??
??not that I want to label this relationship but I wonder where we stand??
??I honestly now have no clue what to do??

The only reason we dissapear is because the people we care about are not there when we need them the most and that weighed in with the fact that opening ourselves up and letting you know how deeply we care with actions takes alot of effort, becomes resentment.

3. He isn't meeting with you because he cant offer you what you need. He himself is not ok, he is fighting with his inner demons, his doubts, his world view and he feels that this is a losing battle, he is readying himself for what eventually always happens (disapearing act). He can't keep up the strong, loving and compassionate act any longer and now he needs you to asure him that you can love him even if he's not perfect,as he would like you to think he is (We love to give the appearence of being in control of ourselves).


The internet says this about capricorns = )
[However, the negative traits of these people are that they can suffer from mood swings, low moods or depression. They need a caring presence to sort them out.]

DONT give him his space. DONT let him come to you. DONT think that its about you or the relationship.
DO call him endlessly, DO go out of your way to be with him. Do provide your full support for his needs.

These periods dont last long and if he's anything like me if you dont push hard enough he will take it as indiference. I literally one day had tears coming out of my eyes one day while walking with my girlfriend (Famaly issues),

I wiped them off with my sleeve and i was caught. She asked me what was wrong and Smiled, pushed the sorrow deep inside,looked into her yes while thinking that i loved her, and then with dry eyes i kissed her gently on the lips. She smiled and we continued walking. This told me that she cared more about the RELATIONSHIP then my emotions.

No longer with that girl because it was the first of MANY actions that showed what she really cared about. Dont make the same mistake. One heartfelt hug in just the right moment is worth more then 1000 ??I love you.??

People say that CAPPS arent good comunicators because we answer YES, NO, I CANT. But thats just not true, we pay attention to actions, and speak in actions.


I hope this helps leo80 = )

thank you Luciru....I was just about to write another post....

Ok I get what you saying...and i have gone out of my way to show him that I care, surprised him by dishing up his fav meal....initiated meetings, taken him out with a broken hand etc...

I am unable to understand him not meeting up,he is in constant touch with me and our talks are fun, but then there are times when he just clams up...I just let him be...

now it's been over two weeks since we met, my bday is this weekend and I asked him if wud wanna head out of town, which he refused cause of his work, but is being extra sweet over the phone cause it's my bday week.

while I sounded selfish, i feel he is being selfish too, calls me when he wants to, meets me when he wants to...I mean is that how a relationship really works...

What is he upto I have no idea, he has the time to socialise with his friends et al but no time to meet me...so I have also retracted but he knows am around, whenever he needs me...so where am I being selfish...

I honestly dont know what to do now, whether to let it be or talk things over with him?

I genuinely do care for him Lucriu...but as a Leo I tend to protect myself for the fear of not getting hurt...I have been extremely patient with him, but I get a feeling that he is just taking me for granted...I just wish he came out in the open and told me what is bothering him, its a bit appalling cause the 1st month he was so open about his feelings, and what he felt for me, and now he just flirts and I know he genuinely cares for me, the questions in my head are :
are we just friends?
Is he taking his time?
Does he really want this?

Yeah that pretty much sums it all up!!

Posted by leo80
I genuinely do care for him Lucriu...but as a Leo I tend to protect myself for the fear of not getting hurt...I have been extremely patient with him, but I get a feeling that he is just taking me for granted...I just wish he came out in the open and told me what is bothering him, its a bit appalling cause the 1st month he was so open about his feelings, and what he felt for me, and now he just flirts and I know he genuinely cares for me, the questions in my head are :
are we just friends?
Is he taking his time?
Does he really want this?

Yeah that pretty much sums it all up!!

I'm chiming in solely from my perspective of being a leo and him a capricorn. I am sure the same will come about with my relationship in the near future. But this is what I do and maybe it will help (although hard at times). I let him do his routine of contacting me at the exact same time everyday. If he doesn't one day, I contact him. This lets him know that I missed his routine and/or him. But I approach it nonchalant, like just thinking about...or whatever. When he opens up to complaining, I listen and offer advice (typical leo trying to fix everything) and throw in some optimism and a joke. Later, I ask how said situation is. Idk if its just who I am, but being supportive and completely selfless is my entire personality. I also maintain my necessity for respect. So what I've found so far is that the more understanding and open I am, the more he wants to do, etc.

I wasn't always this way. I used to basically demand being someone's world until I got bored of them and I broke a lot of hearts. I was a lot younger then and now I just try to literally treat people the way I want to be treated. If they can't do it, then I move on. Simple and to the point. (Maybe not so simple but it's my standards with men lol)

Have you tried asking him when he would like to hang out? That's how I word it. Instead of asking to see him, I'll ask when he's going to be available and sometimes I'm busy at that time. But at least he knows I asked and allowed him to not be "pinned down" to a specific date and time. You know? We as Leo's don't want to be smothered and we could take the same questions as neediness.

so uncanny, but looks we are in the same boat....I do exactly the same thing, he has a particular time to call and if he doesn't and I give him the gentle push....

"I wasn't always this way. I used to basically demand being someone's world until I got bored of them and I broke a lot of hearts. I was a lot younger then and now I just try to literally treat people the way I want to be treated. If they can't do it, then I move on. Simple and to the point. (Maybe not so simple but it's my standards with me"

NOTE I THINK this is a typical leonine trait, I done exactly the same things, and now for me what matters at the moment is respect....and if I dont get that I will just move on....

Like for instance today, I was around where he works and just asked him if wud like to do coffee....to which he said call me once u done, which I did and he was apparently suppose to go somewhere for a meeting....I did not want to pressurize him so I asked him to carry on....

I was upset and a bit angry, he always has some excuse or the other up his sleeve...so I immediately sent him a message saying " Seems like we are playing hide and seek,and I am the bad seeker" Point put across, without blaming him and not pinning him down...

To which he immediately messaged and called...that shows it does bother him....and I was busy so I said I'll call him back...

But if this carries on for too long, like u said we Leo's dont really have the patience and also as Leo's we love it when our men are more involved in what we do...cause I give it my 200% ....

So yeah this is story!! 🙂 🙂

Ok...so now I really need advice. Everything is same as it has been, constant talking, etc. BUT now every time I make a move he tells me to be careful 🙂 I know Capricorn's are protective, but it's almost every thing I do lol. It's cute, but what is this?! Lol

Posted by xxoommmxxoo

Posted by Leostrong
Ok...so now I really need advice. Everything is same as it has been, constant talking, etc. BUT now every time I make a move he tells me to be careful 🙂 I know Capricorn's are protective, but it's almost every thing I do lol. It's cute, but what is this?! Lol

get used to it. We are protective and possessive of those we LOVE, in an extreme way 🙂)))

click to expand

It's funny you said that. I jokingly told him he doesn't need to always worry about me. He said he "cares" and always worries about me all the time, even when I'm not around him and to "get used to it" 🙂

I have been married to a Cap for almost 16 years. When we met I wasn't interested but he came on strong...contacted me consistently, offered to help me move, drove an hour and a half to pick me up for dates. The first time we slept together he curled up next to me afterwards and said "I'm going to marry you someday". I'm a Cancer, the mushiest most emo sign around and it even made me panic how quick his feelings evolved.

We have had our difficulties as we are polar opposites.

My experience has been that

Positively if a Cap loves you he is kind, caring, would take a bullet for you, help you bury a body, hold you when you cry, bring you ibuproferin, chocolate and herbal tea when you PMS. They can be amazing.

Negatively they can be controlling (after 16 years "be careful" feels awfully irritating), dominating, uncompromising, jealous, needy and they fight dirty - talking you in circles until you want to punch yourself.

Mine is very faithful yet definitely likes the attention from other women and will flirt ceaselessly when I'm not around. When I am around another woman could be dancing naked next to him and he would only have eyes for me.

He is beuatiful and loving and amazing and makes me angrier than any other person I have ever known.

Thank you for the awesome insight. I have a very strong personality which he seems to respect (so far). We have a lot of similarities in compassion and core values. Oddly enough our opposite ways of displaying strength work together. We'll see what happens the first time we disagree but I'm fairly passive about most things...but not everything 😉

Ok....another question. Do capricorns think about people they like all the time? He says I'm always on his mind (still).

Posted by Leostrong
Ok....another question. Do capricorns think about people they like all the time? He says I'm always on his mind (still).

I believe they do.

I've found that caps are very emotional both through words and actions. Almost to the point that it trumps what Leos are capable of.