Caps: How are you in meetings?

Lets try this again.

Have you ever sat through a meeting with your nails dug into your palm trying to force yourself to keep your mouth shut? Near impossible for this opinionated, stubborn cap.

And, what do you do when someone tries to interrupt or talk over you?
I just sat up a little straighter, kept my speed of speech the same, same tone of voice albeit a little louder and kept on expressing my point until the other person gave in. I REFUSE to be talked over.

Just wondering if it's just me of if this is a cap thing?

*jogs down to the hardware store to buy a roll of duct tape*

I'm dealing today with a Taurus leader, Virgo and Pisces. All female.

It was like that at my last position. I had a supervisor who would cut you off, mid-sentence to ask a dumb question that, had she kept her trap shut, I would have gotten to. She used to do this to see if she can catch you off your game. After trying to explain and asking her to hold her questions,I started treating her like the 5 year old she was behaving like. She'd start talking, I'd go dead quiet and just look at her the way you'd look at a kid acting out (my face said, "really?" "really?"). When she was done and I answered her, I'd say, "Is that it? Any other questions?, "May I continue?" After a while I'd just stop mid-presentations and call her out before she got the chance, "Do you have any questions 'S' "? She got the point after a while. This sounds passive-aggressive but this is ALL after I have had private meetings with her explaining that the behavior irritates me and undermines my productivity. I figured she wanted to make a public point, so we did.

I was so glad when that contract was up!


In my current position, not a problem! My supervisors are cool and pretty much follow my lead if I feel strongly about something. I'm 1 of 3 people in the hospital with my skillset so I don't really get push back from other depts.

I'm used to leading meetings too. My previous job was at the Director level. I'm very experienced, used to being in charge and used to getting respect from other directors and used to being able to investigate and solve problems.

Due to downsizing, I've had to take a lesser position with a much younger manager at a different facility. She wasn't the one trying to talk over me, it was the Virgo, who has previously stated that I'm too opinionated. I try very hard not to cross boundaries of my lessened position and I follow proper chain of command. I also try not to be "bossy", and I although I question the wisdom and efficiency of the department, I will respect my bosses authority. I am very much the team player and am not arrogant about my job experience.

However, we had a problem I was stating an opinion on how we could correct it - a tried and true method that worked at other facilities. Granted, not every facility is the same and what worked there, might not necessarily work here, but its worth a try. Then, the virgo wanted to jump in with excuses, etc. I just noticed the others were still looking at me so I kept on and drowned her out and finished my thought. Taurus agreed with me and said that she would be forwarding the information to the proper department.

I think Virgo thinks I'm a threat just because my experience is in the general and all around workings of the department, whereas hers is in one area of the department, and my knowledge base is wider than hers. I do not doubt her knowledge and I am not saying she's not good at her job. I don't want to battle with the Virgo, but I won't let her run on me either.

Needless to say, I was fustrated and a little ticked off. Am I reading too much into things?

In the past I have tended to have a strong voice in meetings if it's a project I have a major stake in. If I can't speak in a meeting then I really don't see much point in being there. The worst thing is when you have a meeting with say 20 people and everyone has to watch what you say because it's a negotiation and people don't want to step on anyone's toes in case one side backs out. You sit there and watch people gloss over important issues and you can't just butt in because it's not professional or people treat it like a nuisance issue because they don't want to deal with their achilles heel. You then end up having to work around the inefficiency and have offline negotiations.

The majority of time spent in a meeting is wasted. What really winds me up is when people insist on having a meeting to discuss something that should be a five minute phone conversation. It's 99% a social/prestige event for people who think they are important because they are attending a meeting.

By the way, leos always like to have a big voice in meetings without actually addressing any of the practical points that will make a cappy happy. They like to make the odd incisive comment to keep their hand in the game, but mention any details and their eyes glaze over. Unfortunately without details being sorted a lot of projects just unravel, but the leo still ends up walking away with the glory by distancing themselves or moving on just prior to the tofu hitting the fan. 🙂

Yes, we can see the most efficient, pratical way to fix it. I said run a 100% quality assurance, trend it out, find out where/who the problem is, address those people or change the process. If they can't do it correctly then get rid of them. There are 25 people who would want that job and make an effort. I ran my department this way. But you know what? I got respect. Other departments did their part (they didn't want to mess with me calling them out on their inefficiency and I wasn't afraid to do it in a department head meeting). After a little while, I didn't have to be the tyrant anymore. I could be cool and laid back.

My employees did a damn good job and I had their back!!! They were happy, treated fairly, no one messed with them and they would do anything I asked them to do. Alas, those days are over - for now.

Brusk, yes. Efficient, yes. Practical, yes. Brutal, yes. But it WILL work and problem will be solved.

Where I'm at now, they just don't want to step on toes. There are too many chiefs to make happy, not enough indians doing the work. Its fustrating. I don't understand why no one in management has the ball sack to step up and make a change for the better. With this economy, the good ole boy days should be over - but it's not. 😢