Confused about capricorn man, how to get him back

Profile picture of fayevalentine
fayevalentine
@fayevalentine
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 18 · Topics: 2
Hi, i??ve been with my capricorn boyfriend for 4 months until 2 days ago. We have met in a dinner party and have a mutual friend so he said we have met before but i couldn't remember. Anyway, the night we met we have got along so well and had so much fun. Next day he started to text me and for 3 days trying to have a date with me, so when i was available i asked him. We had a wonderful night, chatted comfortably and went to my place, watched some movies and had sex. 2 days no connection and on friday he texted me saying, what we will do all weekend, he has planned it, inc meeting his best friends. We stayed together whole that weekend and after that we become so intimate, it was like a fairytale i feeled so loved and being cared, met his family, he met my parents, we were like living together, because i was at his place all the time. 2 months ago he told me, his time is up and wants to go away, we are not a good match, i was shocked i thought everything was perfect ( i am an aries btw ), i told him i don't let him go anywhere i don't want to break up, so he fought back but eventually stayed. Btw, when we first met he was using anti depressant drugs but he quit both drugs and threaphy, he was cheated and dumped very badly before me. Anyway, he was depressed and unhappy lately, but when we were together we were still having great time since we have a same taste about music, cinema, hobbies etc. But since a week he was cold to me didnt want to do anything physical, kissing or holding my hand, which was odd to me. I left him alone and he texted me but no romantic stuff, so we had a nice casual talk and said goodnight see you tomorrow. The day after that we were supposed to meet to go our friends house, he told me he doesnt want to come, i yelled at him, i said he was ok yesterday and what is he trying to do and said i will come his place and we will talk what happens, he said no and said it isnt working, right after he said — look what did you make me say??. He said he will bring my stuff back and we will have a proper talk then. I was so upset but i went out as planned with our friends, he called me and asked me where am i i said out ( later he said he wanted to come over to talk if i would be at home ), later i found out he texted my roommate to learn how am i doing ? Yesterday i picked all of my stuff but before, we had some coffee and talked, he said his mother is upset because she loves me and said i am so valuable, he would do anything for me
Profile picture of fayevalentine
fayevalentine
@fayevalentine
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 18 · Topics: 2
just need a call, he will miss me as a friend but he doesnt want anyone in his life right now even his friends, just wants to spent time with his family and focus on his work. He said, he is also so upset and cried and felt terrible the night before, I wanted another chance, said this valuable let's try harder and he said he has already gave me too much chances since he first wanted to break up. He said —be strong and let me see that, i should see you strong because i want to be sure you are worthy of my trust??. He hugged me so hard, and stayed for a while, i tried to kis him but he said it will make worse. We have come to my place ( my stuff was heavy ) he hung out a little bit we chatted like nothing happened ate something and he headed home, before leaving he kissed me and kissed me and hugged me it was perfect, when he was out of the door came back and kissed me hugged me again, we agreed that we can still go see that movie as we have planned. I am confused, sad and as an aries do not want to let go, need some advice, analysis, how can i get him back or is it possible ? Thanks.
Profile picture of truecap
truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
He got to know you better and decided you're not right for each other. Probably nothing you've done wrong, just not the correct chemistry for him. It usually takes about 3 months to decide if you want to continue with a person or call it quits. He wasn't feeling it for you. He made his decision, was honest with you and is trying to be nice about it. It would have just bothered you less had you not had sex with him.

Profile picture of truecap
truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Not trust, respectability. If you give it up to him so soon, he's going to assume you've given it up to everyone else too. So, if he thinks you're easy, you take yourself out of the possible girlfriend category. Also, you lose your power. According to the experts, men need the chase and challenge in order to develop real feelings. Now, it doesn't always happen that way. Not all men are the same.

Maybe the guys will chime in, but we've had threads on this issue before and a lot of them felt that way.

I'm no expert and I'm of an older generation, so I suppose we need to consider that, too.
Profile picture of CapTenn
CapTenn
@CapTenn
11 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 15 · Posts: 2575 · Topics: 9
Posted by truecap
Not trust, respectability. If you give it up to him so soon, he's going to assume you've given it up to everyone else too. So, if he thinks you're easy, you take yourself out of the possible girlfriend category. Also, you lose your power. According to the experts, men need the chase and challenge in order to develop real feelings. Now, it doesn't always happen that way. Not all men are the same.

Maybe the guys will chime in, but we've had threads on this issue before and a lot of them felt that way.

I'm no expert and I'm of an older generation, so I suppose we need to consider that, too.



+ 1

Not much else to say.

We will have sex with you on the first date (if you let us).

But, if you do, you are not relationship/wife material, and the end has already begun ---yes, after the first date.

Profile picture of TigerCap
TigerCap
@TigerCap
12 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 14 · Posts: 1482 · Topics: 13
Posted by truecap
Then again, the boys of this generation may not care.


Tsk tsk. At least refer to them as men. 😛

I wouldn't mind. A woman that does what men would love to be able to do is not someone who loses my respect because of that. But some men do mind.

Just like men that do sleep around a lot are extra attractive to some girls because he is more experienced and a complete no-go for others.
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by truecap
Not trust, respectability. If you give it up to him so soon, he's going to assume you've given it up to everyone else too. So, if he thinks you're easy, you take yourself out of the possible girlfriend category. Also, you lose your power. According to the experts, men need the chase and challenge in order to develop real feelings. Now, it doesn't always happen that way. Not all men are the same.

Maybe the guys will chime in, but we've had threads on this issue before and a lot of them felt that way.

I'm no expert and I'm of an older generation, so I suppose we need to consider that, too.


+ 1
Not much else to say.
We will have sex with you on the first date (if you let us).
But, if you do, you are not relationship/wife material, and the end has already begun ---yes, after the first date.

click to expand



I'll have sex on the first date if you let me but I am perfectly fine with waiting as well.

I'd say this depends on the guy but a single date is not long enough to figure out someone's personality. But do whatever feels right for you.

There are no rules on dating, just best practices.

I have had excellent results by doing those things 'the rules' tell us not to do. Like calling the day after instead of waiting. Splitting the bill if you can see she is uncomfortable with me picking up the tab.
Pay attention to the person you are dating and go with your gut.
Profile picture of fayevalentine
fayevalentine
@fayevalentine
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 18 · Topics: 2
as much as i value all comments here (obviouslybi am here!!) i disagree about making a mistake having sex on the first date.

I agree it depends on the guy, and i know he always tells me that i am 'wife material' and all he wants to do is make me happy. Then he got so depressed about everything and i am now having hard time to let go and thinking "what would be if he was emotinally stable"
Profile picture of saggyrl
saggyrl
@saggyrl
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 168 · Topics: 9
I have to agree with TigerCap...I had sex with my Cap early on. We've had our issues, but months later, we're now in an exclusive relationship. I think it's all on the individual and how you behave afterwards.

Your Cap has obviously had a change of heart and he's trying to let you know, politely as possible, that he just wants to be friends. You can't make a person stay if they don't want to.
Profile picture of CapTenn
CapTenn
@CapTenn
11 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 15 · Posts: 2575 · Topics: 9
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
you are not sleeping alone on the 'first date', right?

so, there is accountability and choice going both ways.

If a man is going to judge me on a behaviour that he is also guilty of.....he can go pound sand.....because that will more than likely be a 'theme' in the entire relationship 🙂



Guess I'll pound some sand.

I have different ideals and standards that boys and girls should adhere to.

Sex is one of them.
Profile picture of TigerCap
TigerCap
@TigerCap
12 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 14 · Posts: 1482 · Topics: 13
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
@truecap
not all caps have a venus scorpio
hence...."DONE AND DONE"
😛


Well, I have managed to stay friends with most of my exes, though I might have lost touch with some of them over the years. My most recent ex however does message me from time to time. She even told one of her friends that I might be one of the few people she could stay friends with after a breakup.

Sometimes I feel like my relationships are more very good friendships with the added bonus of sex. If we break up but I enjoy you as a person I have no problem drawing a line and staying friends. I will try to avoid situations where we might end up having sex again. Keep the 'girlfriend' and the 'friend' stuff separate.
I remember her saying a few days after we broke up that we couldn't simply keep calling each other and do all the stuff we did together but without sex. And I was thinking... "Why not?"

Then again, I'm a Venus in Sag. 😛