Emotional Expectation

Is it bad I'm at the point where I have no expectation whatever for emotional support from anyone really. I'll spare you all my life story, though will share this incident that's a shining example of why I'm at this point:

Mom has been so ill she couldn't leave her room for a few days. Father has the flu and isn't living with us at the moment. Calls concern us, since he's been sounding ill for at least a month and we aren't sure if he's taking the right meds. Now I'm taking care of mom, concerned for father and naturally holding down everything else + taking care of myself, since I have a chronic illness since one. One day, she asks for milk and diet cranberry juice and some other stuff. So I call my aunt to drive me around to get it, giant was a bust. So w go to another place, I'm racing down the isle to get all the stuff, they don't have one of the things she asked for, so I scoff/huff in irritation. Dreading the thought og having to go to another store, taking more time to get back home.

—It's not about you.?? She says. All from one sign of irritation.

I was livid. I wanted to flip my shit, but knew I had more pressing matters to attended to. So finished shopping (with her nitpicking antioxidant diet cranberry juice from it's normal counter part.) go home and a day or two later, mom goes to the hospital. So I'm stuck with Aunt, who's naturally worried frazzled over my mom. Keeping it together, since Aunt is struggling. Also being nitpicky/controlling and stressing me out with her trying to run things, yet having to ask basic stuff. Mom get's out eventually, few adjustments, things go back to normal.

I'm always the rock, if I dare show an emotion, I get called out. Hence, why I'm asking is it bad that due to shit like this, I don't expect much.

Posted by SirHorns
Is it bad I'm at the point where I have no expectation whatever for emotional support from anyone really. I'll spare you all my life story, though will share this incident that's a shining example of why I'm at this point:

Mom has been so ill she couldn't leave her room for a few days. Father has the flu and isn't living with us at the moment. Calls concern us, since he's been sounding ill for at least a month and we aren't sure if he's taking the right meds. Now I'm taking care of mom, concerned for father and naturally holding down everything else + taking care of myself, since I have a chronic illness since one. One day, she asks for milk and diet cranberry juice and some other stuff. So I call my aunt to drive me around to get it, giant was a bust. So w go to another place, I'm racing down the isle to get all the stuff, they don't have one of the things she asked for, so I scoff/huff in irritation. Dreading the thought og having to go to another store, taking more time to get back home.

—It's not about you.?? She says. All from one sign of irritation.

I was livid. I wanted to flip my shit, but knew I had more pressing matters to attended to. So finished shopping (with her nitpicking antioxidant diet cranberry juice from it's normal counter part.) go home and a day or two later, mom goes to the hospital. So I'm stuck with Aunt, who's naturally worried frazzled over my mom. Keeping it together, since Aunt is struggling. Also being nitpicky/controlling and stressing me out with her trying to run things, yet having to ask basic stuff. Mom get's out eventually, few adjustments, things go back to normal.

I'm always the rock, if I dare show an emotion, I get called out. Hence, why I'm asking is it bad that due to shit like this, I don't expect much.

my dad is a cap who shoulders a lot of responsibility and he feels like he doesn't get a lot in return. my step mom provides him this support. you need a good woman in your life to provide this emotional support for you and have your back. just one good woman. this is what women do best, we are nurturers by nature.

My condolences to your mother, hopefully everyone in your family will be in better health soon 🙂

It's not necessarily bad, but IMO from everything I've read and observed... our culture will have people believe that a real man shows no emotions. He keeps it all bottled in. I believe this might be the correlation to higher rate of violence in men. Because studies show happier people have a lot of two things 1) compassion and 2) intimacy.

Intimacy is seen as most as a physical trait but it is also an emotional trait. Being able to open up to others is an important part of being human, we are social creatures after all we have been most successful in a group, don't believe me? Compare our evolutionary tree to species that are lone creatures.

Even in my day to day life, the happiest are the ones with a lot of close/strong relationships while the loneliest and saddest are usually ones that can't connect with others and don't have many friends. I could tell so much, and give you so much data on the correlation of connectedness, happiness, and physical health... they all seem to go hand in hand.. but then I'd be writing a novel.

I think it would be beneficial for you, for the sake of mental and physical health, to try to find someone, anyone to open up to (a friend a neighbor, hell even online 🙂). I understand how you feel though, growing up in a famly where we rarely show emotions or feelings made it very difficult for me growing up and dealing with my emotions. In high school I was very depressed because of that. I am only just learning to open up and trust me it has made my life so much more.

Btw I meant to add... men are human beings with emotion and emotions are not meant to be bottled up.


And it's my opinion that you don't need a woman. It could be a woman or a man, family, friend, counselor... anyone! As long as you can connect and open up to someone about how you feel and all the trials and tribulations you are going through.

Good Luck 🙂

Posted by xtina
My condolences to your mother, hopefully everyone in your family will be in better health soon 🙂


I think it would be beneficial for you, for the sake of mental and physical health, to try to find someone, anyone to open up to (a friend a neighbor, hell even online 🙂). I understand how you feel though, growing up in a famly where we rarely show emotions or feelings made it very difficult for me growing up and dealing with my emotions. In high school I was very depressed because of that. I am only just learning to open up and trust me it has made my life so much more.

Thanks. Also illnesses can't keep us down for shit. 😆
Yeah, I understand that. Just at times when I needed support the most, I only ad myself since either others around me couldn't do it/was the cause of drainage/stress or no one was around, hence I was alone. I'm used to this and deal with emotions on my own, even depression at one point. So it's possible I'm just jaded.

Maybe you are maybe you aren't. I couldn't say for sure. But I understand, I've dealt with all my emotions on my own too until recently. Talking from experience... when you become too self-reliant, it becomes so that the sweetness of each success doesn't last long and they quickly become sour. But at the very least you will always have dxp 😄

Posted by tiziani
I always like your posts, Horns.


I have a lot of experience with people who are diagnosed ill and diseased, and the temptation to use their illness as a crutch to beat their nearest and dearest over the head with is strong. It's a force of habit really.

I've also had a chronic disease since six years old that taught me a lot about how to calm down and find the limits. I used to go out with an Aries who would fake headaches for attention just to see if I would get up to get the pills, not knowing I could barely walk on that day at the time. My fault for not saying anything really, but it's tough on both sides.

Moment where they assume they're helping you/know more than you do about your illness, yet ask you basics. Always a get moment. 😆

Aunt actually snapped on time and went a ran about my mom and my own health issues. (That we handle without a drop of angst.) She even went so far as to say the act she got pregnant was the reason why she has illnesses now. Which kinda says: she would have been better off without having me.
Car ride: Wanted to just cut ties with an epic rant and walk miles back home.
Home: Cried for the first time out of emotional pain and sunk down to depressed thoughts, that my Aries bud had to talk me through.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by xtina
My condolences to your mother, hopefully everyone in your family will be in better health soon 🙂


I think it would be beneficial for you, for the sake of mental and physical health, to try to find someone, anyone to open up to (a friend a neighbor, hell even online 🙂). I understand how you feel though, growing up in a famly where we rarely show emotions or feelings made it very difficult for me growing up and dealing with my emotions. In high school I was very depressed because of that. I am only just learning to open up and trust me it has made my life so much more.

Thanks. Also illnesses can't keep us down for shit. 😆
Yeah, I understand that. Just at times when I needed support the most, I only ad myself since either others around me couldn't do it/was the cause of drainage/stress or no one was around, hence I was alone. I'm used to this and deal with emotions on my own, even depression at one point. So it's possible I'm just jaded.

Taurus have a tendency to isolate n rely on themselves. But we were brought to this world to connect be vulnerable share with others.
So seek ur Freinds old or new. Reach out even for a night out for beer ect.

click to expand

+100

Posted by Impulsv
Awe tiz n horns u guys r sweethearts!
The men I've been made me feel guilty when was sick. That's I prefer to roll solo n don't have feel bad when u can't do an activity.

U have a place her horns for support

I'd would have pretended to be a fake doctor/clown to heal you with the power of laughter.
Since being sick is boring as hell when your awake to feel it.

Aww, thanks guys.

Posted by Impulsv

Wow!!!!
U know just because they ar? f??mily doesn't mean the must be part of ur life. I'd cut as much ties but if she needs to be there tolerate . Know that is the most asinine reason ur mom is sick.

I know, I tried to limit contact as much as possible after that. Was cold and distant to boot towards her. She didn't seem to notice or care.

Logical part of my brain agreed. Other part got gutted since: WHO DOES THAT?
I was going to confront her after some time but then her husband died and...wow was it a mess.

Posted by Impulsv
Well right now surround urself with positive people , Freinds , activities that bring out fun for u.

Damn straight! Enjoy life and not putting up with that kind of behavior ever again or at least not to that freaking level.

Posted by xtina
Maybe you are maybe you aren't. I couldn't say for sure. But I understand, I've dealt with all my emotions on my own too until recently. Talking from experience... when you become too self-reliant, it becomes so that the sweetness of each success doesn't last long and they quickly become sour. But at the very least you will always have dxp 😄

With Aries, Cap and Taurus as my big 3, self-reliance is something I could take to the extreme. 😆
Also thanks! ^_^

Posted by BrightLights
You are only 21?

Jesus.

I thought you were 41 at least!! Hahahahha....haaa...ha:/

The perk of being an aries rising= Cap Sun

I can come off anywhere from 5-50. 😄

Posted by Impulsv
No it is isn't. No one should tell u how to feel. N ur aunts comment about it isn't about u well u weren't not irritated cuz of u u wanted to get home as soon as possie to help ur mom.
Sirhorn u can only due ur best. Being so u must take care of u first don't forget about that.
Show emotion as u wish it's is ur birth right.
Ur are an awesome son just know this.

Firstly, I'm really sorry to learn that you've got so much on your shoulders right now. That's a ton of for ANYONE to deal with. Secondly, I am personally in agreement with the comment above. It's not normal that you should feel like constantly needing to stow your emotions for the sake of others. Be who you need and want to be, and that includes your emotions.

Hang in there!