Happiness, Struggles & Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

this may sound really abstract...

I recently realized that I've always believed, either subconsciously or consciously, that any kind of happiness or satisfaction was going to come with a struggle. I don't just mean in regards to achievements. Yes achievement is a source of happiness, but more than that??_ any source of happiness??_ I'm a little too accustomed to thinking that i'm not getting it without working hard for it; a friendship, relationship with family members, romantic relationship??_things that could just be awesome without effort??_ i have ingrained in my head that it takes work to be amazing. But does it really?

My life has certainly conditioned me well to think/feel this way. And I know I've read that this can be a common theme for capricorns. But I'm not sure if it's meant to this extent. Goals and aspirations, yes. But every other facet of life that can afford you that feeling of contentment??_ am I an odd one out that feels every bit of happiness is at the end of a long road? Is this wrong? Part of me is starting to wonder "why?" or "does it really have to be this way?"

self awareness can be a head-trip sometimes

cap sun/merc/venus

😢

Im the opposite. If I have to put in any kind of work or effort into a relationship I cut it off. I think things should come easy, and if they dont I feel its not meant to be. I gravitate towards people I click effortlessly with, which has only been my Cap friend and I think he is work.

aha??_ saturn conjunct pluto

Posted by lnana04
Im the opposite. If I have to put in any kind of work or effort into a relationship I cut it off. I think things should come easy, and if they dont I feel its not meant to be. I gravitate towards people I click effortlessly with, which has only been my Cap friend and I think he is work.

gravitate towards effortless??_ that is seriously a concept that i'm looking at in a new light right now.

Posted by CreepyPants
this may sound really abstract...

I recently realized that I've always believed, either subconsciously or consciously, that any kind of happiness or satisfaction was going to come with a struggle. I don't just mean in regards to achievements. Yes achievement is a source of happiness, but more than that??_ any source of happiness??_ I'm a little too accustomed to thinking that i'm not getting it without working hard for it; a friendship, relationship with family members, romantic relationship??_things that could just be awesome without effort??_ i have ingrained in my head that it takes work to be amazing. But does it really?

My life has certainly conditioned me well to think/feel this way. And I know I've read that this can be a common theme for capricorns. But I'm not sure if it's meant to this extent. Goals and aspirations, yes. But every other facet of life that can afford you that feeling of contentment??_ am I an odd one out that feels every bit of happiness is at the end of a long road? Is this wrong? Part of me is starting to wonder "why?" or "does it really have to be this way?"

self awareness can be a head-trip sometimes

+1 I actually feel this same way in every facet of life. Things that come to easy tend to worry/scare me. I'm always waiting on the other shoe to drop... and it usually does.

Posted by JenLove
That's the almighty terribly difficult Saturn influence!

I share the same sentiments. It only makes sense that reaching what we deem to be happiness would require some form of struggle and hard work because that's how we learn to truly appreciate things. A lot of people seem to think that life is all about being happy and that's just the end all be all and they forget the process that it takes to get there. Everything in between and the road that it takes to get to where we want to be is all equally important. The stress, the heartache, the obstacles, the joy, the happiness, the fulfillment (the negatives and positives) and the struggle are inevitably part of the process of getting the things we want. Through struggle very valuable lessons can be learned.

I think this mindset is practical and logical but, it can certainly become unhealthy and problematic when you begin to feel excessively undeserving. Don't let this frame of mind consume you to the point where you're too hard on yourself. Other than that it's always healthy to believe that we must earn and work to acquire the things we want.

Smart lady right there....^^^^^^


It's like my high school buddy whose daddy bought him brand new car, after brand new car. He'd beat the hell out of them, and didn't give a damn, daddy would by him another one. Zero appreciation.

I, on the other hand, worked for 2 1/2 years to buy my 'decent' vehicle (a POS in comparison to his), but I'd wash it, wax it, vacuum it, armor all it, and stand and stare at it with pride. It was mine, I worked hard for it, and I earned it. Anything worth appreciation takes work. When things come easy, the satisfaction lacks.

I'm the type that appreciate working harder for things than building or having relationships with people. Honest truth.

I do take pride in saving for things I want, or even creating and crafting things from scratch. In that sense, the longer it takes, the more time I put into it, the more I appreciate the finished product.

People are totally different. The happiness we envision at the end of the road, the potential etc isn't completely dependent upon us. We can put in all the work in the world towards a relationship or even a friendship, yet it will never guarantee an outcome of happiness because it always takes two. I even find that at some point, Caps give up on these relationships because of the work and the constant return of stress or unhappiness. I'm pessimistic in that sense. Since there are no guarantees either way, I pick the least stressful ride to where-ever.

Its always good to know how to appreciate a struggle, but it is also important to know that sometimes good things do just come easily.

i think attitude is key in being happy or getting to what makes you happy. attitudes are such powerful things.

and i'm not suggesting that i want the easy route. i just don't want to think/feel this way about things i shouldn't have to think or feel this way towards ...all the time. Like lnana said, and like i've experienced in past relationships??_ they can be so much work. in my exp., a crying shameful amount of work??_ for nothing. the idea became this truth that i believed was a part of every single relationship. i willingly entered relationships with the foresight that they'd be a challenge ??_beyond the normal healthy relationship hurdles.

there's an entitlement complex. then at the other end of the spectrum there's the complex where you don't feel you deserve to be happy. i'm not one or the other, but i'm somewhere towards the latter. and i really don't think everything in life or even everything worthwhile in life needs to be, or is better, at the end of a struggle. i think this idea is excessive. it's great for a lot of things! but past a certain point, i believe it's excessive.

slight attitude adjustment commencing.

though??_ jenlove this def goes along with what you're saying??_ one of my favorite obscure movie quotes: "the victory that cost you dearly is better savored." with many things??_ that is so poetically true.

Posted by Metaphysicalreciprocity

But I'll just say this for now: trust your instinct. Yes, be open to new ideas and be willing to compromise, but not at the expense of what makes you who you are.

wise and elegant words??_ i thank you for saying them 🙂

Posted by Tornadoday16
Its always good to know how to appreciate a struggle, but it is also important to know that sometimes good things do just come easily.

and there you have it

i've always known good things sometimes do come easily for people. just never for me. definitely a result of my upbringing.

"there's an entitlement complex. then at the other end of the spectrum there's the complex where you don't feel you deserve to be happy."

Omg, at the extremes but THIS is exactly what I deal with.

May sound a bit crazy but I downloaded LL Cool J(Capricorn) song "I Need Love" a week ago,, and listening this lyric rang true..

"Inside my soul
Because my soul is cold
One half of me deserves
To be this way til Im old
But the other half
Needs affection and joy
And the warmth that is created
by a girl and a boy, I need love"

Its really that whole my soul is cold part that I understood, and it may be part of why some of us may feel we dont deserve to be happy. Maybe you feel the need to work overtime because theres a possibility you wont emotionally attach to the situation the same way so you overcompensate by putting in the work because your strength is there?
Idk if that even makes sense, and please forgive the slight tangent, but I agree on the extremes.

yea wow??_ you said it and it makes perfect sense. i think we have a strong sense of worth in what we do and at times just know what is deserved.

i think i just have been doing things with this mentality for so so long that i almost don't know how to function any other way. what a trip.

i have literally had anxiety attacks over the past several months at times when things have just fallen into place for me, and i'm just now wondering if there's a connection. o.O