How to date a busy Capricorn man?

I am in a relationship with a really busy guy who is stressed out with work. We have been together for 8 months so far.

Since January of this year (he took on more responsibility at work), I have been seeing him less and less. Before it was twice a week, now its once a week, only on the weekends (I started sleeping over on Saturday nights). I rarely hear from him. I often have to call or text first, even though I call/text, many times he wouldn't pick up, and doesn't respond to my texts at all or until much later. Or sometimes I call, he doesn't pick up then text me to say that he had a rough day and not in the mood to talk. I have expressed my desire of better communications with him before, he doesn't agree we are lacking in that area, and its remain unchanged.

It has cross my mind that perhaps he might be cheating on me. However, when I spend time with him on the weekend, he is perfect. I felt in my heart that he couldn't be cheating, and that it must be work stress causing him to be barely there. He is seriously too busy to cheat!

On Friday night, when I spoke to him on the phone, he communicated that he felt behind at work and need to go into his office on Sunday so I can't sleep over this Saturday. He will come up to my area to have dinner with me, drop me home and call it an early night. While on the phone, I agreed, but after I hung up, I thought of an alternative and text it to him. I thought it would be easier on him if we have a quite night in, order delivery, go to bed early, wake up early, have breakfast, I go home while he goes to the office. Its Saturday afternoon now, I have yet to hear back, I called at noon, there was no answer.

I am trying hard to control my feelings, stepping back to see the bigger picture, helping him out where he needs, such as space to work without anymore added pressure from me. A man feels defined by his career so I don't want to ever come between a man and his career. I love him, I want to do whats right for the relationship, however at the same time, I want to stay true to myself and my needs of a more attentive and affectionate boyfriend. I am not sure how I can achieve that with him

Thanks!

He says he doesn't agree that you both lack in the communication area - how did he express this? Seems weird.

I don't feel I know enough to say much atm, but my immediate reaction - right or wrong - is that he isn't that interrested in you. Maybe he is simply too caught up in his work or he's seeing someone else or he just doesn't feel it, but I do think that if a man is interrested enough, he MAKES time to at least text back.

People make time for whats important to them.

Posted by HappyCapper
He says he doesn't agree that you both lack in the communication area - how did he express this? Seems weird.

We fought about it, I said I want my boyfriend to call me or text me everyday to at least say good night. He said "we talk all the time, what you are looking for is a check in". I responded saying "no, I want to hear from him because it shows he is thinking about me. if I didn't trust you, makes no different even if gives me a check in". He then proceed to say "we talk enough, you shouldn't think I don't think of you if I don't call you"

He's married to work, and you are the side chick.

Sounds like

Posted by 321654

Posted by HappyCapper
He says he doesn't agree that you both lack in the communication area - how did he express this? Seems weird.

We fought about it, I said I want my boyfriend to call me or text me everyday to at least say good night. He said "we talk all the time, what you are looking for is a check in". I responded saying "no, I want to hear from him because it shows he is thinking about me. if I didn't trust you, makes no different even if gives me a check in". He then proceed to say "we talk enough, you shouldn't think I don't think of you if I don't call you"

click to expand

The way you expressed it in your opening post, I thought you definitely had a point there - it reeeally didn't sound like your communication skills as a couple were...top notch. But what you describe here makes me and my sag venus want to run. It does sound like a control issue to me and you wanting him to check in. I think you should be able to trust your boyfriend even if he doesn't contact you every day. But that's just me.

However, as I wrote before: him not even answering your texts is a huuuge red flag to me. Again: if he was truly interrested he would make time at least for that.

Posted by HappyCapper

Posted by 321654

Posted by HappyCapper
He says he doesn't agree that you both lack in the communication area - how did he express this? Seems weird.

We fought about it, I said I want my boyfriend to call me or text me everyday to at least say good night. He said "we talk all the time, what you are looking for is a check in". I responded saying "no, I want to hear from him because it shows he is thinking about me. if I didn't trust you, makes no different even if gives me a check in". He then proceed to say "we talk enough, you shouldn't think I don't think of you if I don't call you"

The way you expressed it in your opening post, I thought you definitely had a point there - it reeeally didn't sound like your communication skills as a couple were...top notch. But what you describe here makes me and my sag venus want to run. It does sound like a control issue to me and you wanting him to check in. I think you should be able to trust your boyfriend even if he doesn't contact you every day. But that's just me.

However, as I wrote before: him not even answering your texts is a huuuge red flag to me. Again: if he was truly interrested he would make time at least for that.

click to expand

Ooops. I really believe what I wrote there, but I don't think it was fair of me to write it as an answer to your post. It couuuld be read as if you don't trust him if he doesn't check in that often, but you never said that, so I totally take it back.

I am a cap and married to a cap. My husband is a senior Vice President of a bank and extremely busy leaves home around 7.30am and comes home at 8-9pm on most week nights.

Even when I did the long distance thing with him we knew when the other one would be busy with studies for me or his work or family activities.

It was never why aren't you answering me and if we messaged during work hours it would be ok to not answer for a few hours.

I never felt he was ever lying or being unfaithful to m because we understood one another.

Sometimes you can be in a loving relationship but need the space so you don't feel suffocated. I get my me time during the day when hubby is at work and he gets some week nights or weekend golf games with his buddies.

I don't ask and hassle him about it. You need to understand that maybe he is very busy at work and you wanting to stay over even for a but may just feel emotionally exhausting

That being said, as a cappy I have always trusted my gut instinct which has never failed me and if I don't believe what someone is saying, I start losing faith in them

Thank you all for your comments!

I am a Scorpio sun, Libra ascendant and a Gemini Moon.
He is a Capricorn sun, Libra ascendant and a Scorpio Moon.

I realize I can be emotionally intense, overly passionate and possessive especially towards a love one.

I have to learn to scale back those energy because it can be suffocating.

My gfs described me as "too much", I care too much, I love too much, I crave his presence too much. Too much that I have tipped the scale, its no longer balanced and him in return is emotionally suffocated.