I Relented!!! AGGHHH!!

Im such a sucker! Well kind of. Cap wanted to see me this weekend, told him I was busy. Yesterday he expressed that he wanted to see me. I told him that I had errands to run after work yesterday and we could see each other this weekend. He called me while I was at the book store yesterday evening. He asked if he could meet up with me to have a cup of coffee. I relented. UGH! We met at Barnes & Noble, had a cup of coffee, talked until the store just about closed. We talked about everything under the sun. GREAT conversation! So then we went to his place because he lives right by the Barnes & Noble. Sat there a little while, eat, watched TV, talked some more and we kissed. Twice...two long passionate kisses. I cant lie, I enjoyed them. He told me that he wants to date me exclusively. Not an official relationship just yet because it is a little too early for all that, but he only wants to focus on me as far as dating for us to determine if we should transition into a committed relationship.

What happened to moving slowly? Lol. Uhhh. He seemed really sincere and truthful. I typically can pick up BS a mile away. What he said was believable. However, I cant help but to question his intentions because I have read that Cap men CAN be very honest and sincere, however, they CAN ALSO be quite the con artists. He is very attractive. He used to do the heavy partying and going out. We live in LA where females tend to be a little on the loose side. Especially, those who frequent the clubs he used to go to. He definitely can have his pick of booty. Lol. So, I know he is not the type who is willing to say almost ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in order for a girl to give it up because he can easily get it without having to lie and pretend. He said that he is over the club scene. He did it for over 10 years and is done. He told me that he wants to focus on settling down now. He also told me that he likes me because I am not like a lot of the girls that he knows. He appreciates my work ethic, ambition, my intellect, my wit. He also said that he loves my smile and I have an innocence about me that he finds very mysterious, sexy yet sweet and that I have not been around the block a lot and I am somewhat inexperienced in certain areas. Hmm??_ I have never been told that before. Ha! These Cap men really put A LOT of thought into things.

I get the feeling that he wants to be the FIRST to introduce me to a lot of things??_ Hmm??_ Before I left his house we agreed that we would only see one another and if for whatever reason one of us changes their mind that we would be honest and open about it. He also asked me to not get sprung. Lol. I told him not to flatter himself. He told me that he has dated Scorp women before and he knows how awesome they can be but has had a few run ins with some who were on the possessive/obsessive side. He told me that he really likes me and does not want things to be ruined by that happening. I assured him that I have too much pride to get sprung and start acting a fool. Lol.

I am left wondering does this sound like bull to another Cap or those who have experience in dealing with them? I think I am really paranoid and wound up tight. Lol. I just don't feel like wasting time on any foolery! He told me he could tell that I am always in my head thinking. He said that he is like that too, we need to teach each other how to relax and enjoy life in the moment. He said that he can tell that I am guarded and like to be in control of every aspect of myself. Hmm..

Posted by CappyyLuv30
Damn girl, I thought I was analytical. LOL!!!

Just enjoy yourself. Take baby steps and proceed with caution. Cross each bridge as you get to it. Trust me, I'm the first one that wants the answer to everything before I experience it. HOWEVER the best experiences have been the ones unplanned, unthoughtout, unanalyzed, and completely go-with-the-flow spontaneous.

Just take it day by day. If he turns out to be an asshole, then on to the next one.

Yes I AM analytical and have a rod up my ass the size of Pluto. There are many things I embrance about being a Scorp, this is not one of them. I just dont want any surprises! Lol. Oooh to be able to control life. Lol. Im a mess....I know it. Lol. it's so funny because I was dating a Libra before this and he did not even come close to having the same affect on me as the Cap. Something about these Caps...

Posted by CappyyLuv30
And you are not a sucker. Saying yes to an outing doesn't make you less of a woman or weak. It's just coffee. 😛

Looking at it like that kills the giddyness and takes you out of your emotions.

Take it day by day.

Thanks, Cappy!!!

Posted by CappyyLuv30
Yeah Caps are horrible. 😛 For me, it was more that I met my match. Someone that beat ME to the punch. It's like he always knew my next move. UNACCEPTABLE! ....but yet I loved it. LOL

Don't worry, we're all a mess. The reason I tell you to just go with the flow is because I was soooo concerned with the possibility of getting hurt that I did. If you look for the negative, you will get it. Not to mention, I wouldn't enjoy myself....constantly decoding wtf this or that meant. Ugh. It was so annoying.

Enjoy it for what it is right now. An exclusive friend-boy. Don't look deeper into it. Trust me, your brain will thank you.

Girl, you are telling the truth! I need to CALM DOWN and be positive and not so fearful. But I will say this. I KNOW he is going to sit and observe how I react to everything; if I will get all crazy/psycho like other girls have done in the past or if I will remain cool and fun. I cant let him see me sweat. Lol.

Lol. You, gotta keep that poker face!

It's funny because I can kind of see some of his insecurities. Before I left his house he asked me if I enjoyed the kiss twice. He asked me to call him when I got home to let him know I made it in safe. I sent him a quick text letting him know I made it in safe, thanking him for the evening and telling him to have a good night. He brought up the kiss again...in a way to assess my thoughts. I didnt respond because I was half sleep by that time and didnt answer until this morning. Its strange how he is acting about those two kisses. On one hand he comes off very confident and self assured and then he turns around and has a very insecure and boyish quality about himself...

....we have power indeed. but im in experienced. so yeah...no food for thought. go with the flow...always. life is a mystery itself. you dont live life by thinking about it. you must live it. so ends my wisdom for now fellow scorpion woman. just injoy the moment while it lasts.

*has insecure thoughts about everything*

Posted by ellessque
ha! she TOTALLY slept with him.

just admit it. we don't care.

No not his time around. I will admit, I DID think about it. Lol. Trust! The one saving grace was the fact that I have not shaved in weeks! Eek...I know. Lol. And I went to the gym and went running before I saw him at the Barnes & Noble. So, I wasnt the freshest. Lol. But like I said, I cant lie, I did think about it... Lol.

Thanks HappyCappy! Its great to have a man's persepctive as well. Yes, that seems to be the idea...for me to remove my jaws from life and chill. Lol.

Posted by ellessque
didn't shave? okay, now I believe you didn't sleep with him. That is the ONE thing that will stop a scorpio dead in her tracks. 😛

OK!I have been such a lazy bum. I dont look like a monkey or anything but I am hairy enough to chose for him not to see me in that way...especially the first time! Ahhh ha ha!!!

Posted by CapGal

Posted by HappyCappy
....we have power indeed.

HERE'S THE CUE LADY.....analyze this!! The cap man is in total control here, can't you see? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but DO NOT jump in. How can you be exclusive and yet not serious?? Makes absolutely no sense! He wants to have you all to himself, that all. He'll charm you, make you fall head over heels in love with him then tell you he's not available. Can you see a simlar pattern with the other badass capman stories posted here? Live a little but please, please please, do not ever believe that this is it. So if u should meet another hot guy who wants to date, DO NOT pass up the offer. Give the cap a litle more work to do.🙂

click to expand

Oh most defeinitely! I totally agree with you. That is WHY I am second guessing everything that he says. I do plan to continue dating other men, regardelss of what he says. Until someone puts a ring on it...all bets are off. Ha! That is also why I said that I do not want him to see me sweat. Although, I am bothering you all with these questions, I dont want him to know it! Lmao. As far as he is concerned, I want him thinking that I have not given him a second thought. Lol. I am kind of glad that he said that he can tell that I am gaurded and in constant control of myself. I think that he acutally likes that about me as well. I do not lay all my cards out on the table and do not plan on it anytime soon... gotta keep that mystery going.

Uhhhh @ woundedbird

**bank stare into the room**

LMAO!!!! Wowzers!

I wouldn't necessarily say he's intentionally being a "con artist" but with my cap (see my post, it's still on the first page)... he WAS sincerely honest about what he wanted. But then when things went faster than we both intended, he bowed out and I was the one left to lick my wounds. Just have fun, but remember to be a little guarded...

Relenting is okay, why act hard when you don't want to.

This sounds like a great date that was being led by him, that's always a great thing when a man leads a woman into love with him by initiating the relationship talk.

I hear a bit of double talking on his part. He says I don't want a relationshp but will date you exclusively, so what exactly is he saying...someone please help me understand or correct me if I'm wrong but if he's dating only you well that is exclusivity...

I'm curious why you didn't clarify this issue with him Scorplove and also what is up with all the sweet talking he was doing, seem like he was really horny and would have said anything to get a piece of tail. IMO if a grown man calls a grown ass woman innocent it's the equivalent of saying your dumb (my opinion and I don't expect you or anyone to agree) and I'm sure to headfuck you later on b/c you don't know enough about love to know when your getting f*cked LOL. Think about it, if he's only dating you exclusively, only focusing on you then what does that tell you...That's exclusivity so what's up with the word salad crap he was pulling with you.

When he said don't get sprung, that's a sure indication this guy plays a huge amount of head games with Scorp women and/or women in general...Capricorn men are something else lord jesus LOL whew SMH....IMO he picked up quickly your not as seasoned as some women so he laid it on thick, your clearly a bit naive for not noticing that he was saying anything and everything for you to give it up.

If he think your that innocent, inexperienced he will tell anything and that is exactly what he did. He offered you exclusivity and then minimized it...Why?

It all sounds like bullshit but it's your situation...be observant, make sure he's on the up and treating you well, treating you like your his exclusive dating partner...see were it goes.

CapGal - Roger that!

Woundedbird - Show me how to implement the "ring tone remedy". I want to start practicing now! Lmao!

andmilestogo - Actually I did read your thread. So sorry to hear how everything worked out! Yes, one thing I have learned with these men, regardless of the sign, it's always best to be guarded (to an extent). I have read a theory about how good women can make things way too easy for a man, turning him from being a prince into a frog! Obviously some men ARE frogs without any assistance from us. However, sometimes we woman can get trigger happy and make everything out of allignment. Lol.

KStarks - You mean you didnt want to hear about my unshaven legs and lady bits. Oh ok I see how it is!! JK! Lmao! 🙂

Tiki33 - As far as the innocence, I think that came from the fact that him, his best friend, myself and a few other folks are friends and have been for about 7 years now. We all kind of run in the same circle. His best friend is like an older brother to me, in a way. I was not as close to him as I was/am to his best friend and a few others. In the past, we have all had conversations about sex (in a platonic nature) and various experiences and numbers of sexual partners. I forget if a specific number was brought up for me or just implied. These were conversations that were had about a year or so ago. So, he DOES know that i have not had many sexual partners. Especially, compared to some of the loosey goosey the women he has dated previously. He ALSO knows through those conversations and observing my interaction with men who I have dated, that the number of men who I have had sex is not a reflection on my naivety or level of intellect. In fact it is the exact opposite. I take sex VERY seriously. That is why I have not had sex with a lot of men. A man has to put in time and work to get in between my legs (sorry KStarks...might be TMI again. Lol) Again, this is what him and our friends know to be true through observation. So, that is what I he means by that. In fact, he referenced a conversation that we all had about 2 years ago when I was talking about sex and intimacy and how I felt about it , and he said that he was attracted to it, but did not want to approach me then because he knew he was not ready for anything serious. So, I think he was referring to innocent sexually not stupid.

However, it might look differently to you and that's cool too. I am not really concerned with that statement because if that is all he is trying to do he will get tired of waiting and move on and that will be that. Because again, I aint giving it up that easy. Lol. Him and his friends all used to joke and call me a square because I did not do the things that they used to do because I knew I was better than all that foolery. Now, they call me wifey material. So, go figure.

As far as the exclusivity conversation, good point! Like I said, I am digesting and analyzing all this now. When he said that he was going to only date me, I just OK. I did not verbalize an agreement that I was going to do the same thing. Nor did I ask him to elaborate. Which is possibly my fault. However, I DID want sometime to wrap my head around all of this and digest it for myself so I would have controlled concise questions to ask him if necessary. Again, this is definitely a question that should be asked and I will definitely do so.

I hope that my original post does sound like I am ready to trust and fall in love with this man. Lol. Quite the contrary. I am suspicious. Shoot, I am suspicious of all men. Lol. I move with caution??_or at least try to as much as possible. Lol.

Not having many sex partners doesn't make a person innocent. Capricorns are some very clever creatures, they just have a way of saying things that sound great but yet implying something else. A seasoned person would quickly see through that bullshit and not take it seriously (just saying). You know your not naive nor are you innocent (your not a baby or a child), you don't seem like someone that men can just say anything to and you believe it so it might be in your best interest not to believe any of it until he can really show you he's serious. If it's exclusive then it's exclusive, for him to back pedal on it by saying were not in a committed relationship is definitely a sign he's not being completely honest with you....Be careful, many scorpio women have walked down this elusive path and never get out, still stuck, still in denial.

Do yourself a favor...Clarify the commitment/dating issue, don't leave it to chance that you understand what he meant. Sounds like a FWB proposition or why else would he back pedal and not call it a commitment especially since it appeared he was saying he wanted exclusivity/commitment with you.

If you can manage stay out of denial (like so many other scorps) you will be able to quickly wade through the BS but if you have a tendency to over look and be in denial over a man your attracted to well strap yourself in and let the circus music begin.

To to to dada do do dodo. Lol. Joking.

As I previously mentioned I am not too concerned with the innocent comment. If he does think I'm easy or wants to give it a whirl, excellent. He will quickly tire, get frustrated and be on about his way. One thing I have learned in life, women hold the trump card, the almighty and powerful P! Lol. It can be a tool for devastation if not used correctly. However, if it is taken care of (lol) and used with respect and care, it can be a bad mutha. Not to say this can control a man, because it can't. It can however help to keep emotions in check. Especially the womans. I can't lie, yes I am attracted
to him. Yes there there is a sexual attraction. I have been sexually attracted to plenty others. That didn't mean anything when it came time to put up or shut up because I shut up...more like shut it. Lol. So if this is his mission, it will be a bunk one.

Like I said, I am definitely going to talk to him about the exclustivity bit. I definitely do not think it would be a good idea to not do so.

The whole power of the P bit helps me to stay out of denial. It's by no means the cure all for denial, but it certainly helps me to view a situation objectively when I have not been intimate with the man.

I see caps can be clever and that's why I am utilizing the wisdom of those on this board. I realize I don't know it all and I'm not trying to learn about cap men the hard way! Lol

yadda yadda yeah yeah

Your on your way on that roller coaster ride...

I'm just going to put it to you straight. He is in it for the sex, doesn't mean he will get sex but that's his motivation, anyone whose been down this road already know the outcome, so you can play coy, be innocent, play this kissing game, hold back, clarify, re-clarify, none of it will work in a balanced reciprocal way, he has the power and you give in or you will stay in this tense strained back and forth what does he mean morris code situation. You can power play and power struggle and play all these head games that Cap and Scorp tend to play out with one another but he's going to win.

Have fun and get out your tissue and Tylenol...Your going to need it

Tiki - I've said I agree with you and plan on taking your advice. Yet, youre responding ad if I'm disagreeing with you. I dont want to play games with this man or anyone else for that matter. My point is that by me not becoming intimate I remain in control of myself not him. In fact, I said just that in my previous response. I realize I cannot control or have power over him, nor do I want to. However, I do recognize that I have power and control of my actions. This is what I am referring to. Maybe he is looking for sex or a game or a combination of both. Who knows. What I do know is that I'm not looking for a game. Like I said if he only wants sex it will play out and come to the surface.

As long as I keep my feelings in check, continue to look at things objectively, proceed with caution and keep my legs together, I will be OK.

This approach gaurantees me needing tissue? If you were me would just stop talking to him?

As I see it I have 3 options:

1. Drop him like it's hot
2. Stick around and give it up
3. Ackowledge that I have already told him I don't put up with bullshit and now allow my actions to demonstrate that by keeping my distance, only being available when I want to be, take it day by day and take nothing that he says as gospel until he proves it with time and action.

I chose the 3rd. Doesn't make sense?

Lol @ M!

PD, I agree with your entire post, especially when you get down to the options she have.

This is my thing, I wanted to say it earlier, but didn't want to spoil her opinion about him. You can say NO to him and hold it out for as long as you want, but trust, he will be getting the goods from someone else all while coming around to see if you are ready. Ive read women say "oh, he's being so patient" and "he said we can wait until I'm ready" about Cap males, but if they only knew that he had another on the side filling THAT void.

Again, I'm not trying to spoil your opinion, but really ask him about the exclusivity thing if you are still interested, and ALWAYS do what you want. If you want to bone him, do it, if not, then don't. If you stay true to yourself then it will always save you a few tears if he acts up.

2 is basically believing what he says and allowing myself to be intimate with him; not really be cautious or (in my opinion) smart about the situation. 3 is not becoming intimate, not believing every word that falls from his mouth. Yet, not telling him to go fuck himself either. Continue to talk to him and see him here and there; allow him to demonstrate what he is saying and not just be lip service. If his actions do not correspond with his words...then keep it moving.

I'm not asking you to agree, do what you wanna do....I have seen this Scorp/cap combo being played out for years, been met with hostility and aggression for pointing out the obvious and yet the inevitable outcome is +1 for Caps each every time.

You are blinded by your physical attraction and just like many of the scorps you don't acknowledge when someone is clearly fucking with your head. All you can see is he offered you some half ass crumb of a relationship and mind you he word salad that whole issue about being together exclusively...

I'm curious why didn't he say that at Barnes and Nobles about the both of you being exclusive together, it's ironic he wait until you get alone in his home to start with the BS talk about being exclusive together after 2 passionate kisses of course...If he was sincere he clearly would have slowed ended the date but of course things escalated to his home and suddenly he's buttering you up and offering you a half ass kinda exclusive situation but were not committed but were only dating one another type situation...oh brother...Someone else (I believe it was Capgal not sure) said it was about sex and it is, so stop playing yourself. It's nothing wrong with him wanting sex, that's natural but what's going to make it hard for you is that you want something real, both of your agendas don't match up and that's going to create conflict for you.

I'm not going to tell you what to do...Your an adult but if you continue to go to his place and kiss him passionately then your not actually being authentic, meaning your saying one thing and doing something else just like he's doing with you...

He's going to believe your actions not your words...If you really want to be in a real relationship stop the bullshit kissing and going to his place and make him respect you and the only way he's going to do that is if you stand by your word. If you want sex go ahead and have it, you don't have to be emotionally attached to experience great sex just don't play head games with yourself by believing he's going to be committed when it's clear sex is his motivation for saying all that exclusive jargon and don't allow anyone else to play head games with you either.

Posted by ScorpieLove25
As I see it I have 3 options:

1. Drop him like it's hot
2. Stick around and give it up
3. Ackowledge that I have already told him I don't put up with bullshit and now allow my actions to demonstrate that by keeping my distance, only being available when I want to be, take it day by day and take nothing that he says as gospel until he proves it with time and action.

I chose the 3rd. Doesn't make sense?

You can choose the third, but if he can sense that you are sexually attracted to him then that's a different ballgame to be honest. A Capricorn male senses will awake when it comes to anything sexual. He's reading that tension like a book, which will make him want you more.

@Continue to talk to him and see him here and there; allow him to demonstrate what he is saying and not just be lip service. If his actions do not correspond with his words...then keep it moving.

But remember Caps can sell snake oil..The more you talk to him the more vulnerable you become and the more strongly your going to feel about him and not listen to anyone...thus YOUR SOLD

If you like him just fuck him and get it over with already...If you must be in a real relationship then stand by your own boundaries and personal rules or be seen as a flake...your value will go significantly down.

You can't play around with cap men, pretending etc you must challenge them mentally and emotionally or it's a wrap

PD- We only kissed last night not last week. But anyhow, I understand your point. Yes, I did feel as though I relented because I did not plan on kissing him and I did. So that made me feel as though I had given in to an extent. However, it was definitely not my intention to play any games. Although, it might not look as such. I didn't even plan on seeing the man. I don't just want sex from him and I definitely do not want to have sex with him right now. I would rather wait until we either have a strong foundation or he just go on about his business bc he is not getting any.

How do you suggest I proceed?

Posted by lnana04
PD, I agree with your entire post, especially when you get down to the options she have.

This is my thing, I wanted to say it earlier, but didn't want to spoil her opinion about him. You can say NO to him and hold it out for as long as you want, but trust, he will be getting the goods from someone else all while coming around to see if you are ready. Ive read women say "oh, he's being so patient" and "he said we can wait until I'm ready" about Cap males, but if they only knew that he had another on the side filling THAT void.

Again, I'm not trying to spoil your opinion, but really ask him about the exclusivity thing if you are still interested, and ALWAYS do what you want. If you want to bone him, do it, if not, then don't. If you stay true to yourself then it will always save you a few tears if he acts up.

I agree and this could very well be the case. I don't expect for him to only date me right now. That's why I was caught off guard when he made the comment. The next time I talk to him I plan on bringing up the exclusivity issue. As I have said before, the waiting for sex is more for me. It's not to provoke any sort of reaction out of him. It is so can come to the boards and read everyone's advice and remain object and learn opposed to being defensive and crazy bc Im sprung bc I've given up the cookie.

Tiki- I can see how it can be perceived that I'm pretending. I suppose I can be sexually attracted to someone but the minute I realize they only want sex or they are trying to play me, I sober up real quick. I am sober now. Lol.

I guess the moral of the story is for me to get lost, take a chill pill, rid myself of him and then come back. Only take him in doses so that I won't get caught in some trap.

Ugh good lord these dam Cap men are no joke!!!

Buy bye passionate kisses. Lol

Communication is important. It's important that you understand him and understand what he means and were he stands with you or your going to find yourself caught up and making it all up, I would hate to see you go through that, it's a very painful process to get over..

In the end your going to do what you feel is right for you and that's okay too. You know the basics, you know what he wants so anything you do from this point on is all up to you.

Posted by tiki33
Communication is important. It's important that you understand him and understand what he means and were he stands with you or your going to find yourself caught up and making it all up, I would hate to see you go through that, it's a very painful process to get over..

In the end your going to do what you feel is right for you and that's okay too. You know the basics, you know what he wants so anything you do from this point on is all up to you.

True! I didn't feel like talking to him tonite, long day at work. I will probably talk to him tomorrow or Thursday. Youre right and I know I need to make sure that I truly understand what he means about this whole dating situation. Not in a nagging way. I will just explain to him that I want to have a clear understanding so that we are both on the same page to eliminate confusion down the road.

Thank!!

this proves a point. scorps are not the power in the zodiac any longer. move aside please...let the big boys play.

joking aside, dont give into him if he isnt srs. he wants you to himself like an object he can admire and not share with the world. basic mentality of a cap man. im like that too. with most women i know...im passive about it though but when it all comes down too it...i want you, all of you for myself and no other man can touch you or ill kick in thier teeth. just saying...ill shower you with whaatever love and affection you need hunny but in reality your mine and mine alone. not that ill chain you to the bed...your free to hang out with who you want. injoy life and have fun...but just know im your man and your my woman. be faithful and all is good.


*king of his mountain* controlling much...lol. if i can find a woman that can agree to this then ill be happy cappy foreal. aquas included....

HappyCappy - Point taken. Thanks for the words of wisdom. I guess I didnt realize what I was getting myself into. Why do all the astrology sites say that cap/scorp matches are perferct!??! Hmph!

no no no....dependant on the scorp and the cap....itll be perfect harmony. im just saying be careful. injoy the moment. let things progress. now when he actually takes interest in a srs relationship...then you can have real fun. itll be official as us young cats say these days. i myself dont really do the fwb or whatever thing....i like being committed to another person who feels the same at that time. i dont get these other cap men at all. im a one woman man lol. just have fun. sorry if im getting fatherly on ya...just how i am.