I'm soooo sad

After a month...the Cappy man decides to text me. He's gone for a fucking month, I don't even get a hello. I sent him a gift card to coldstone like a month ago, cause he had never gone. I never heard from him until today. He wanted to say thanks and when can he redeem it? Wtf? Its a gift card use it whenever you want dumbass. I'm sad cause I like him. I'm sad because he's showing interest again...and I thought I was done with him. I'm sad because I want to respond with my heart and my head is telling me "screw him" (not literally). I'm sad because I don't know what I am going to do. It took him a month....a month!!! I'm suppose to respond today? I'm thinking- so...did the other girl not worked out huh (not sure if theres another girl, but my head is thinking so). Seriously...I'm gonna scream. AHHHHHHHHHHH! Okay...screaming felt good.

dating sucks. Its a complicated thing. I don't like "playing". Shouldn't it run smooth? I just got into dancing, and I'm starting school in 2 weeks. I don't want to feel like I'm being tested. Or feel 2nd best. Or feel that if I respond, I'm excusing the fact that he couldn't send a hello during this whole time. I'm not mad at him, I just want to know what I'm dealing with. I don't want to have some title , I just want feel respected too.

sounds like you have alot going for you, with dancing and school. at this point he probably doesn't realize how special you are. too bad for him. you could let him go for now, and enjoy all that is in your life. i have a feeling there are men you will soon meet who have much more to offer, and will know the value of a simple timely thank you.

"... i have a feeling there are men you will soon meet who have much more to offer, and will know the value of a simple timely thank you."

well said tripod. i think she's right ST.

"I'm sad because I want to respond with my heart and my head is telling me "screw him" (not literally). I'm sad because I don't know what I am going to do."

Just tell him what his appearance/disappearance is doing to u. Express what u feel honestly to him and then KEEP QUIET. Let him take it from there, if he wants to that is.

If he was gone for a month and being a Cap myself if I were in that same situation - he probably wasn't with anyone - he probably just needed some time away - (unless there was a specific reason for him to be away) collect his thoughts and get his mind right - I usually find myself taking time away from others simply because life can just become too overwhelming (esp. in a relationship) and to get away is like allowing the mind to take a vacation - I mean I worry alot about things - (I dunno if that's my Virgo moon or what) so I find myself becoming distant from others for awhile until I feel that I'm well enough to deal with the stresses of life again - as for asking when he can use the gift card - that definately sounds like something I would say too - he might've thought that you had intended on him buying you something - or mentioning that you might've wanted something from that place - cause as distant as Caps can be - they're also generous and benevolent when they can be - (sometimes even to a point of where they may be taken advantage of - Virgos go through the same thing as well of where they'll offer to help someone and they might be taken advantage of by people that take them for granted - I've found that I have a specifically interesting combination of signs aligned for different aspects of my personality based on my birth chart that make me personally vulnerable to this as well - as a Cap I work alot - but my Saturn sign is that of a Scorpio - so I've found that people with this sign under this planet are more likely to become workaholics - and my moon sign is that of a Virgo - so I'm always willing to help others as well and being a Cap my generousity sometimes gets the best of me - though anyways - I'm not surprised he would ask something like that 😛) But I remember my ex of three years was a Taurus and she would always take me back - we hardly ever fought or anything - we got along rather well - (though she'd get mad if I didn't spend time with her - I mean she was REALLY possessive of me - I think I spent more time at her house than my own - but my workaholicism got the best of me and we became distant and she found someone else and the rest is history I guess - she was great though I'll definately admit that - but she'd always take me back - I'm sure he means well though 🙂 Best of luck and take care! 🙂

"he probably wasn't with anyone - he probably just needed some time away" Thanks Capvirgo for helping see that Cappy perspective I so crave.

You're welcome! Anytime 🙂 We Caps do mean well - and I've even been w/ a Leo and tried everything to make that relationship work - I loved being w/ my old Taurus ex - she was SO much easier to deal with - hell I spent more time @ her house then my own - I had no reason to leave her - I was perfectly happy - best 3 years in a relationship of my life - but I guess being distant near the end kinda made her feel less loved or something even though I was just hanging out w/ my guy friends (seriously) but all great things must come to an end somehow (even if it's til death do you part though not in this case as she ended up meeting someone else and then kinda using me as a friend w/ benefits and my car to see him - I dunno why I put up w/ it for so long - I guess I still cared about her and was hoping that things wouldn't work out between them - but it turned out that she was apparently happy and I just lost it one day after she was trying to get laid by either one of us (making out w/ me inbetween calls from him) - I guess that's when I just walked out of her house and out of her life - I couldn't take it anymore - and I was single for 3 years after that - til my recent ex IMed me from seeing me on a personals site I posted for sh**s and giggles - went out w/ her for a year and a half and sacrificed almost every aspect of my life other than work to help try to lose her insecurities and it turned out that after she got a job working somewhere else she ended up meeting someone and boom - de'ja vu all over again...but most Caps I know take their relationships and devotion rather seriously - hope everything works out for the best 🙂

Capvirgo....so how long have you been single from this last one? I've been single for 9 months now. Its nice. I understand your logic on being alone. For me, its like I'm getting to know me better being alone. I love it. I'm dancing, I quit my job of 3 years because I was unhappy there, I'm going back to school to get my masters, and I look better then ever. I even applied to the PeaceCorp!!! I'm 26, and I figure its the best time of my life to do this. 🙂
I tell you what though...I got an email from the Cap I like today. It was actually part of a newsletter he sends out (I'm on a list server). But just seeing his email put a smile on my face. I know he is busy, he's a work junkie. I wish I could call him and tell him whats going on with my life!!! And I'd love to hear his voice. But I cant just call and say..."Geez I've missed you" when i never really knew him. I'd feel so hurt if he didn't say..."I'd miss you too." My favorite thing about him was grin...he grins to one side. I don't know why I torture myself reminising on something that never happened.
Oh-and the whole cheating part sucks CapVirgo! I'm a taurus, and I can say I have never cheated. I probably never will because I take relationships serious too. I'm not on this quest to find Mr. Right...but it would be nice if it would just happen.
-ST

SensualTaurus - thanks for the reply! In answering to some of your questions - my recent ex and I broke up around last April - though from my ex before her breaking up and meeting my recent ex - I was single (by choice) for three years - and both girls actually asked me out - but I'm the same way otherwise - always trying to work on perfecting and making my own life better financially esp. (but just enjoying life all and all) I study for network certifications (currently have my Microsoft Cerfified Professional and Certified Novell Administration certifications - though it's hard to study w/ the demanding amount of work that is offered to me since my job relies on me so much - which is something that would need to be understood in a relationship - I work ALOT - and its alot of physical and mental work mainly - so by the time I get home I'm always ready for a good night sleep 🙂 Though I'm sure that if you expressed yourself to this Cap he would surely express himself in return - Caps just need to have their self-esteem built - we're not ones to normally express ourselves openly because sometimes our own self-esteem may get the best of us - but if he knew you missed him I'm sure that would make him feel confident enough to express himself in return) But as for the whole cheating thing - after this has happened twice I'm even more wary now about being in another relationship - cause I'll just feel like I'll have deja vu all over again - but I still think about all the good times I had w/ my Taurus ex - man we went through alot together - she was great - I felt like she was the one for me - but I guess everything happens for a reason 😛) I totally agree with you on the finding someone and wishing it would just happen cause I'm not really all for going on a quest either 😛) Thanks again ST! 🙂

Capvirgo

U always keep remembering that taurus ex of urs. Are u sure u are over her? Cause it seriously doesnt look like that. And Hope u dont mind me saying this but I cant help feel that ur insecurities must have made u feel that the taurus cheated on u. I dont think she did that cheating stuff-something is fishy in ur story. I mean u sound like a nice bloke, why would a girl leave u? But then again as by ur own admission u love working and the poor girl must hav lost it waiting for u to find some time for her. Ahh love.

Sensual taurus
He remembers u, he likes u but he wont/cant say it. Are u gonna keep waiting or finsih the game and move on with ur life. I am gonna do something after waiting for ages so thought of inspiring u also, to some much needed action.Caps love being loners bu that doesnt suit u taurus and the faster u admit it and live ur life, the better it gets.

I am over her - it's been at least 4 and a half years since I've spoken with her - I was simply relating my relationship w/ a taurus because compared to my recent relationship - it was alot easier to deal with - i am very secure with myself - i dont get jealous over people my significant others talked to - even if they were male - the reason why she left was because I had ended up spending more time away then usual and even though I wanted to be with her there was a conflict between her and my mom - my mom didn't like her from the very beginning - but my mom didn't want me to be in the relationship in the first place I guess cause she felt this girl was gonna hurt me sooner or later - so because of this conflict that was going on all of these years - and since i was still living w/ my mom and going to school - it didn't make it easy for me to see her since she also lived in another county nearby - but again - the same thing happened w/ this my recent ex and I believe the reason for that being was because she was insecure - (I knew she was - she even admitted it - things were great until she moved in with me cause her and her mom werent getting along well and so I convinced my mom to take her under wing for awhile by letting her stay there awhile - of course that didn't work out and after nine months my mom once again realized (I mean this one she actually liked too) that she's not right for me but again I wouldn't listen and so eventually I had realized but I didn't wanna just kick her out so I thought that if we moved into our own place then the stress and tension would make things better - that didn't work so eventually (after convincing her that working at the same franchise as I do would possibly help her boost her income compared to what she was getting paid now) and from there she met someone and the rest is history - it's not that I didn't spend time with them - but you and I both know that for one Tauruses are very possessive - esp. when it comes to relationships - and believe me - she was - so much that she (much like the Leo I went out with - though she was possessive because she was insecure even though I spent EVERYDAY with her from the day we met until we broke up - now I wasn't with the Taurus as she wasn't as paranoid as the Leo - but she still craved my affection - and I adored them both all the same - but both of them liked to spend my money and neither one of them were able to hold their own - so because of that - I had to work more

(con't) because I felt that money would keep the love alive - but apparently it only made things worse - because then they started to take advantage of me - so with all of this overwhelming need for affection and wanting to spend time after awhile - for a Cap esp. like myself - that's nervewracking - that's why you hear these caps on the message board and their significant others saying how they left them for awhile and they don't know why - well this is the reason why I'm saying right here - things in relationships become overwhelming esp. for a sign that's as distant as a Cap - we have a hard enough time trying to socialize - I have a hard enough time trying to keep a relationship together because both of them didn't seem to understand that I had responsibilities to fulfill - the taurus wanted me to call out often in our relationship and even though I did at first I almost lost my job because of it - no woman is worth losing money over like that - esp. when I know they're not gonna take care of me - I hope you're not feeling sentimental for this taurus simply because you are one as well - because yknow not all signs are the same - I'm telling you what happened here - she was literally trying to get laid by either one of us - he was calling on the phone while she was hooking up w/ me inbetween and told him 'I don't care how I get it - I'm just trying to get laid here' and that's when I reached my boiling point - after putting up w/ helping her see him (because I figured that maybe things wouldn't work out - but it seems that with me being in the picture - it just seemed to add fuel to the fire for this other guy) so then she wanted to be friends w/ benefits - and I wasn't down w/ that either - I felt like I had lost someone that was like my best friend and love to me - and in that three years was the time it took to get over her - but before all this happened - yes - she did wait for me many times - but at the same time - she didn't want to work things out either - she must've felt the same way I did - since there were complications w/ her parents and mine towards how they felt about each other (cause her mom was a whore too - she would tell me all about the guys her mom would bring home when her husband wasn't there - she even got with her husbands brother - and she's a Virgo - but like I said - not all signs are the same - it doesn't change how I feel about giving certain signs a chance regardless of past experiances - I'm not biased like some people

I'm just saying that it took a long time to get on w/ my life and work helped me cope with that - what's done is done though - and now I have to deal with the same situation until November as I still have to live w/ my ex in this apartment while her and her new b/f do their thing - this is why I'm even more wary about whom I date - and this is why I say that they have to understand the fact that I work alot - I'm needed by my job almost like I'm married to it - otherwise I'll spend all the free time I can with them - just as I have in past relationships - that's just how I am - that's why Caps are hard to understand and deal with is because alot of us are workaholics - I know what happened is in the past - I may remember the good times of them - but I'm not gonna let it get the best of me just cause some things went a little sour.

What u xplained makes a lot of sense capvirgo. But I somehow do feel that u are still not taking at least some responsibilty for ur share in what made ur relations go askew. Its not always the other person's mistakes. But yeah Cap men love the stabilty that their jobs provide and they know that girls may or may not be there but what they have achieved in their career would last forever. Hmmm..

"Its a gift card use it whenever you want donkey."


Haha! sounds like somethin i would say.

Exactly - that's why I'm saying - why would I want that - the last thing I did while I was burning out in front of her house after almost backing up into her cause I was SO upset with everything that was going on was I called her a 'sexaholic' and drove off in this mad fury - and I just drove and drove and drove until I ended up in another city - and I had already cried over her before and I swore I would never cry again - and she returned my Nautica visor while I was gone (as I had left it on the couch) and that was it between us - I never spoke to her again...now I dunno if that's a Cap thing or a Virgo thing cause I've heard of Virgos doing stuff like that and I've heard of Caps that have longed to keep trying to make a relationship work even after the breakup had been established - or it might've been the natural thing to do in such a course of events - and then my mom had all these bragging rights and I was like whatever and so since then I've been just concentrating on work - wouldn't date or nothing - had a few one night stands but - that was only cause of my friend being a Leo had a girl that had some girl friends and he was always trying to get me to find someone - but since then - I've had my eyes on this girl - whom apparently (according to her birth chart) is very like me - so she's been giving me these lil hints and stuff over the years but I've just been always thinking that it might never work out - but then I see her and how she tries to influence me into seeing her expression of emotions (as well as she hides she's otherwise very friendly to me) but I know what's done is done and I just think of it as an experiance to learn from - (which is the same philosophy my recent ex uses on her current b/f - basically allow him to do all the stuff that she made a big deal about me doing - by letting him socialize and go wherever and not move the relationship too quickly - yknow that kinda stuff) and I've got my credibility and seniority at work - I've got alot of nice things going for me - so the Cap struggle seems to be really paying off 🙂 Thanks for the replies though! 🙂

It wasn't the job though bittertaurus - I guess it was that I felt that I had been neglecting my friends and felt that I needed some space from her - as much as I had cared about her - I felt that she would understand - but at the same time - she didn't tell me how she felt either - she just I guess assumed that things were good and that was it - (though I do remember this one time I was taking her home from work and I said that I got a new system so she could listen to the radio on the way to work (my car was a real hooptie - as with most teenagers with underprivilaged lives) and so I said 'so everything is great - right?' and she she kinda mumbles 'no - everything is NOT great' so I asked her what she meant by that and she's like 'nothing' and so she would tell me she's tired from work and so I took her home and she went to bed early and I guess she didn't wanna be bothered so I left and the next thing I know - she's telling me (this was on the way to taking her to school like I would do everyday cause I worked @ night just like I do now - and would usually get out in time to drive her there) so she's telling me about this guy that's @ work and how 'he's really nice and we talk about this and that' and I'm like 'okay' (knowing that her mom doesn't want her to be tied down to me since were both still pretty young) and so I think nothing of it - yknow if she cares about me - I'll love her for it - resisting temptation and all - if not then I guess that would be it for us - (did I also mention that she was also in love w/ her ex and there was this whole thing where he came up and she felt that he still loved her but I became friends w/ him and he would tell me he didn't want anything to do w/ her - but I didn't have the heart to tell her that - so this is what I had to hear about for 3 years - this guy - and I'm thinking 'maybe I can get her to love me more - and I tried all that I could - nothing would compare me to this guy - and he was an ass to boot too) so she meets this guy - and I think it took like a week before they were like doing it or something like that - so yknow how in most long term relationships ya kinda go through these phases like 'it won't last - maybe she'll come around' and so it turned out that she was using me - to see him - my car - to drive to his place and stay there while they got it on in the next room - (my recent ex did the same thing cept now I live w/ her for the time being and it's like de'ja vu all over again)

and then there was the friends w/ benefits meeting we had @ a corner late @ night by a Dairy Queen and laundromat - I wasn't into it and that was that - so time went by and I figured maybe I could still be her friend (and this is why I don't really want anything to do w/ my current ex cause I realize that friendships never workout like they used to) and it turned out that she and him weren't working out and he was a foster child cause his parents were murdered or something so she's all sympathetic and wanting to take care of him and he's got this loner attitude about him - but all the while - my boiling point was rising until it just snapped that day - I mean if she had a prob with me spending some time w/ my friends that's all she had to say - but yknow I realize this now - cause my co-worker friend told me about this same psychology w/ a baby - if you hold the baby early in life - they'll be more likely to want that attention forever - thus creating a dependence for others - and I'm wondering if all that spending so much time together w/ her had an impact her need to be given affection like constantly - (I mean it got so bad that even though my mom didn't like her - I couldn't stand to leave her @ night until she was asleep - she loved my chest - (I'm not longing for her - I'm just supporting my current topic here) but I knew that I still lived w/ my mom and she hated when I would be over there all the time - so I would have to leave @ like 3am to sneak back into my bed just to have my mom lecturing me - this is the kinda stuff I got myself into for her - I guess love makes ya do stupid things - and that may have caused things to upset the relationship - maybe if I was there (cause we got along wonderfully - I mean she was my best friend - I felt like she was all I needed and we just went together hand and hand - but she couldn't work yet and I had just started working and I guess I thought of the job as much of a responsibility as maintaining the relationship (cause deep down I didn't want things to turn out the way they did) but w/ her ex coming up and her wanting to make him fall in love w/ her again only to be shot down and then me having to console her thinking that she finally gets it - and then instead of accepting it - she seems to find this other guy to become infactuated with instead - I mean maybe it's her moms genes - I dunno - doesn't matter anymore - what was had was lost long ago and I'm glad though that things turned out the way they did.