Making the Move?

Well when your relationships first began. Were you the one to make the first move or was it your partner? I've made the "move" only so few times before (As I recall thrice), most f the times others made the moves and I just said yeah or whatever if I felt the same. Though if I didn't I just straight up said no. Right about now I'm not interested in relationships right now, but if I were to get in another one I would just go with the flow though (no pun intended).

I never make the first move. I cant handle rejection it does this ego of mine no good. Plus me Venus in Virgo thinks it's unlady like.

Uhhhh. Depends on what your definition of "making the move" is. I'll initiate conversations with people I'm interested in, and if they show interest I'll often pursue them. But I always a maintain a safe distance unless they invite me closer. I rarely ever set up the first date. It's never gone well when I did. I always felt like I was putting more effort than they were, and the flame goes out.

My boyfriend is a Cap, and he made the first move/ moves / chasing...
he was I think, secretly insecure and a little uncertain but he never let on! Always confident and forward footing.
Only guy I ever met who had the guts to not play games - just straight up let's date, here, this time, this place, texting, calling etc

Posted by capinc
The only move you should be making is out of your parents basement.

I don't live with my mom thank you very much. I made that move a year ago and I live in an apartment complex. Better?

Posted by deivaleonne
Uhhhh. Depends on what your definition of "making the move" is. I'll initiate conversations with people I'm interested in, and if they show interest I'll often pursue them. But I always a maintain a safe distance unless they invite me closer. I rarely ever set up the first date. It's never gone well when I did. I always felt like I was putting more effort than they were, and the flame goes out.

Well yeah, I meant it in dating terms.

i never make the first move either. All the ex's have made first moves, and some got friend zoned immediately. I got to hand it to the ones who were brave to do so though. It takes guts to go up to a girl, if you don't know if it will pan out well. usually guys who get the girl i notice, are the take it or leave types. More like, yeah she turned me down, NEXT. Really really casual devil lack a daisal personalities. I'm guessing it's very Alpha wolfish types.

Posted by Infinite8
The two Caps I dated definitely made the moves on me. Well orchestrated moves... observing me from afar for a WHILE (up to a year without talking to me), testing the waters, finding out about me through others and when they found the perfect moment, they would set the setting and attacked with full force. One of them was the sensual/affectionate type and the other was the workaholic/shy type. So, it doesn't matter whether shy or outgoing... if a Cap sees something he likes, he WILL go for it... it's just a matter of time.

This has been my experience.^

^That's the way it should be.

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by Infinite8
The two Caps I dated definitely made the moves on me. Well orchestrated moves... observing me from afar for a WHILE (up to a year without talking to me), testing the waters, finding out about me through others and when they found the perfect moment, they would set the setting and attacked with full force. One of them was the sensual/affectionate type and the other was the workaholic/shy type. So, it doesn't matter whether shy or outgoing... if a Cap sees something he likes, he WILL go for it... it's just a matter of time.

This has been my experience.^

click to expand

hmm a cap mooner is like that too, from my experience. they're even deadlier than all of any mars-ruled men combined. Because of the patience. It can go on till eternity, till death even. Sounds epic, but, it's true.

which is sad too for the women who fall for them and the men in return dont want them. Because it also acts very deadly the other way around for the victimized. (those who feel they are victimized)

Posted by CapriLady
^That's the way it should be.

the fatale....

*shakes head*

^^ I'm not sure if I understand. Expand please if you care to do so Lisa.

I am a little fatalistic at this point just waiting and feeling powerless. Perhaps feel better after holidays.

Posted by CapriLady
^^ I'm not sure if I understand. Expand please if you care to do so Lisa.

I am a little fatalistic at this point just waiting and feeling powerless. Perhaps feel better after holidays.

today is supposed to be a happy day but it's not happy due to sad circumstances and feeling powerless.

so i understand where you're coming from. Saturn in Scorpio towards the end of this year is intense.

what i meant, is that women who fall for these men (which is why alot of women complain ect) don't realize, that in return they are never going to be loved the way they want to be loved. UNLESS the man himself wants her, NEEDS her in his life. It is always a need, as well as desire. You always need someone in your life because they "BENEFIT" you...that is the clue. Benefit. Because they make your life so much more ...happier, livlier, you have a reason to live. Or a reason to "achieve" what you want out of life, because of the woman he chooses. If he makes a wrong move in which woman he chooses, it can be extremely detrimental to his spirit/soul.

basically if he does not want her in return because she is not beneficial for him, despite being attracted (perhaps why they got together --- just a scenerio) the woman in question is devastated and it will take a long long time to heal the wounds. These are just lessons in life I guess.

of course these are the types of men who want a woman by his side, not those men who are proclaimed bachelors. Obviously these guys want a woman in his life or a partner to be with him and make his days happier, richer, fuller.

I hear you. There's truth in this on many levels.

I gave up on the Aries after two years of platonic friendship because of this self reflection and devastation after his divorce, and realizing he could never feel good about dating me because we grew up together and it just reminds him too painfully of how he made the wrong choice in his wife.

Realizing that, I met the male cap and it was what it was, but now he's going through a similar devastating self-reflective phase (divorce and lack of resources) and I don't know where things will fall.


I think "mutual benefit" is a good phrase, at least for my current personal circumstances.

My mother is coming tomorrow. Life.

Posted by CapriLady
I hear you. There's truth in this on many levels.

I gave up on the Aries after two years of platonic friendship because of this self reflection and devastation after his divorce, and realizing he could never feel good about dating me because we grew up together and it just reminds him too painfully of how he made the wrong choice in his wife.
Realizing that, I met the male cap and it was what it was, but now he's going through a similar devastating self-reflective phase (divorce and lack of resources) and I don't know where things will fall.
I think "mutual benefit" is a good phrase, at least for my current personal circumstances.
My mother is coming tomorrow. Life.

well i dont know...because people who divorce usually don't say "good" things about their ex's. It's always hate hate hate. I dont blame them either, but if it didnt work out, you're going to be cursing up a storm and saying hateful things. Until the storm passes.
A cap with lack of resources is an awful awful thing. Every cap or strongly cap influenced NEED to feel secure. "Mutual" benefit yes...you're right. You give eachother what you need.

Posted by Sn1p3r187
Well when your relationships first began. Were you the one to make the first move or was it your partner? I've made the "move" only so few times before (As I recall thrice), most f the times others made the moves and I just said yeah or whatever if I felt the same. Though if I didn't I just straight up said no. Right about now I'm not interested in relationships right now, but if I were to get in another one I would just go with the flow though (no pun intended).

You're the man. You should make the move!

I let the man make the first move. If I do attempt to "move things along" I will be subtle and use eye contact or drop a hint or a slight touch on the arm while talking or contacting him to ask a legitmate question (like stuff a man would know such as Do you know someone that does handyman repairs?).

Every time I tried to blatantly make a first move, it didn't feel right and didn't work out the way I wanted it to. A lot of men think you're just after sex if you ask them out first. Lesson learned! lol!

Once we've dated a few times, I don't mind being a little more forward and moving things along, but only to an extent. I mostly still let the man take the lead, but nothing wrong with strategically getting the ball rolling.

Seriously, it takes time to recover.

Interesting reading about Saturn in Scorpio actually. thx Lisa

Posted by truecap

Posted by Sn1p3r187
Well when your relationships first began. Were you the one to make the first move or was it your partner? I've made the "move" only so few times before (As I recall thrice), most f the times others made the moves and I just said yeah or whatever if I felt the same. Though if I didn't I just straight up said no. Right about now I'm not interested in relationships right now, but if I were to get in another one I would just go with the flow though (no pun intended).

You're the man. You should make the move!

click to expand

Well true, though when I'm ready I will take the intiative though I really wouldn't know what to say though.