Gemini772
@Gemini772
12 Years
Comments: 3 · Posts: 118 · Topics: 14
My cap boyfriend needs time..
I real have been patient with him because when he is not irritaded or cold he is very sweet to me and i feel that somehow is happy to be with me. Sometimes i feel that he commited with me but doesn't know how to handle a relationship.. He said srveral times that he adores me so much, and said i love you a few times also. I always said i love you back because its the truth and he knows that i love him.. But i deserve to be happy..
What makes a man happy is for their woman to be happy. He took you on a trip and you complained. Men see this as they made the plans and you weren't happy, so indirectly you aren't happy with him.
He probably feels like no matter what he does for you, you're not happy. So why continue making someone unhappy and why continue feeling like you're spinning your wheels. All you want to do is make her happy, and she's not, so they just stop trying.
He probably feels like no matter what he does for you, you're not happy. So why continue making someone unhappy and why continue feeling like you're spinning your wheels. All you want to do is make her happy, and she's not, so they just stop trying.
I dont think that he stopped because of the trip but i believe its for everything that happened in these 6 months..he always said that i was right and he was wrong but its very hard for him to control..and i swear that till this day i feel that i cant make him happy..it really hurts as i go back and see everything that i did for him so he would never doubt it and he never saying a thank you or acknolowging that..
But i get what you are saying and thank you
But i get what you are saying and thank you
I think you are more likely to recieve kind deeds than a verbal "thank you" from this guy(which I don't necessarily see as a bad thing). I also think you are going to have to be reeeally patient with him. Do you think you can be that patient?
Question: did you say you were unhappy with the trip as such or with his behaviour on the trip?
Question: did you say you were unhappy with the trip as such or with his behaviour on the trip?
Posted by Gemini772
We arrived from the vacation and I said that I dndt like some things that happened there and he was very cold, said that he doesnt have what I want and that he would never change for me (wish I never asked him to do). I dont know why he suddenly and lately has been so cold and irritaded.
Well, 1 week passed and he didnt say anything. I don't want to be sad all the time because of this and so I wanted to talk with him. We talked and he said that he needed time for him because he was tired of always being sorry for his bejaviour and that I dont deserve to be sad all the time because of that.
Seems to me things were fine before the trip and one week later he's saying this.
Sure, it could have been things that built up before the trip, but the trip was the catalyst; the "last straw", so to speak.
Just my opinion.
HappyCapper is right. If he doesn't say thank you for your good deeds, he will demonstrate this in his actions....like taking you on a trip, for instance.
Did you thank HIM for the trip?
Did you thank HIM for the trip?
Posted by HappyCapper
Question: did you say you were unhappy with the trip as such or with his behaviour on the trip?
I responded as if you were complaining about the trip itself. It it was his BEHAVIOR you didn't like, then what I wrote wasn't valid for this situation.
I agree that he could show me he was thankfull by doing things for me.. But at that moment it would be nice for me to hear a thank you (off course i would never argue about it). Well i said to him that i didnt like his behaviour.. Do you know what its like to wake up next to him, dont receive a good morning Kiss, go all daY without a Kiss or a hug, and then at night he would cuddle Just for sex.. Or have a gps thrown at you.. I dont want to make a novel about it but i am a emotional person as you can guess and i just wanted to feel loved like i tried to make him. I know that he needs time and its what i am giving him, but still moving on..i dont want to feel useless anymore.. Or humiliated.. Sometimes i wish that i could wake up from this nightmare..
The trip was arranged by the 2 of US, but he took care of the reservation and place. But he was never s?_ excited as i was..thats what he ttansmited to me. I really loved the trip, the view, the peace.. We argued about his behaviour there specially after the gps thing..he was always nervous and i didnt enjoy that because i, first of all didnt understand why and i wanted him to relax..patient is a virtue indeed..
And i do miss him
Posted by Gemini772
I agree that he could show me he was thankfull by doing things for me.. But at that moment it would be nice for me to hear a thank you (off course i would never argue about it). Well i said to him that i didnt like his behaviour.. Do you know what its like to wake up next to him, dont receive a good morning Kiss, go all daY without a Kiss or a hug, and then at night he would cuddle Just for sex.. Or have a gps thrown at you.. I dont want to make a novel about it but i am a emotional person as you can guess and i just wanted to feel loved like i tried to make him. I know that he needs time and its what i am giving him, but still moving on..i dont want to feel useless anymore.. Or humiliated.. Sometimes i wish that i could wake up from this nightmare..
A lot of caps aren't into that touchy feely stuff. My ex Gemini used to smother me and all he wanted was to hold each other, snuggle, etc....It was suffocating. I just wasn't as touchy feely as he is.
Posted by Gemini772
The trip was arranged by the 2 of US, but he took care of the reservation and place. But he was never s?_ excited as i was..thats what he ttansmited to me. I really loved the trip, the view, the peace.. We argued about his behaviour there specially after the gps thing..he was always nervous and i didnt enjoy that because i, first of all didnt understand why and i wanted him to relax..patient is a virtue indeed..
I have a hard time showing excitement. When I try it comes across as fake.
What was the root cause of the reason he threw the GPS? Was he frustrated? Was it giving wrong directions? Was it malfunctioning? He told you his intention wasn't to throw it at you and it probably wasn't. I once got frustrated with an under the cabinet can opener because it kept dropping the can and slapped it so that it flew off the cabinet and across the floor.
This is what I think is happening:
You want things in a certain way and are pretty darn sure your way is the "right" way. When he is not behaving the way you think is the right way, you call him on it, because to you his behaviour is "wrong." He gets nervous because the way he is as a person is apparently not good enough. As I see it, he has tried to accomodate you and feel that he has failed, because he is "wrong" No wonder he gets nervous. If you truly want to be with this man, there is one - and only one - way to go, imo:
You need to let go of every preconcieved piece of information in your head about how a guy "is supposed to" behave and start to get to know him as he is, and not as you want him to be or as someone you can change. Then you can start pondering if this is something you can live with.
Tbh, I think this will be very difficult, or even impossible, for you since you seem to be very set in your ways. But if you still want to try, I'll give you something to start up with: His ways are not wrong, they are just different from yours.
You want things in a certain way and are pretty darn sure your way is the "right" way. When he is not behaving the way you think is the right way, you call him on it, because to you his behaviour is "wrong." He gets nervous because the way he is as a person is apparently not good enough. As I see it, he has tried to accomodate you and feel that he has failed, because he is "wrong" No wonder he gets nervous. If you truly want to be with this man, there is one - and only one - way to go, imo:
You need to let go of every preconcieved piece of information in your head about how a guy "is supposed to" behave and start to get to know him as he is, and not as you want him to be or as someone you can change. Then you can start pondering if this is something you can live with.
Tbh, I think this will be very difficult, or even impossible, for you since you seem to be very set in your ways. But if you still want to try, I'll give you something to start up with: His ways are not wrong, they are just different from yours.
I agree with HappyCapper, he seems like a good guy! I am kinda going through the same thing with a Capricorn. We have to learn to trust their leadership. I wish he was a little more forgiving but I'm sure that come with time. I am learning they are their own favorite company then come their loved ones. They are very cautious and careful creatures so when you're telling him that what he doing is making you feel a certain way, they are hard on themselves about but only for so long before their ego tell them otherwise.
Posted by truecapPosted by Gemini772
I agree that he could show me he was thankfull by doing things for me.. But at that moment it would be nice for me to hear a thank you (off course i would never argue about it). Well i said to him that i didnt like his behaviour.. Do you know what its like to wake up next to him, dont receive a good morning Kiss, go all daY without a Kiss or a hug, and then at night he would cuddle Just for sex.. Or have a gps thrown at you.. I dont want to make a novel about it but i am a emotional person as you can guess and i just wanted to feel loved like i tried to make him. I know that he needs time and its what i am giving him, but still moving on..i dont want to feel useless anymore.. Or humiliated.. Sometimes i wish that i could wake up from this nightmare..
A lot of caps aren't into that touchy feely stuff. My ex Gemini used to smother me and all he wanted was to hold each other, snuggle, etc....It was suffocating. I just wasn't as touchy feely as he is.click to expand
That's exactly what he said and I have to respect that...
Posted by truecapPosted by Gemini772
The trip was arranged by the 2 of US, but he took care of the reservation and place. But he was never s?_ excited as i was..thats what he ttansmited to me. I really loved the trip, the view, the peace.. We argued about his behaviour there specially after the gps thing..he was always nervous and i didnt enjoy that because i, first of all didnt understand why and i wanted him to relax..patient is a virtue indeed..
I have a hard time showing excitement. When I try it comes across as fake.
What was the root cause of the reason he threw the GPS? Was he frustrated? Was it giving wrong directions? Was it malfunctioning? He told you his intention wasn't to throw it at you and it probably wasn't. I once got frustrated with an under the cabinet can opener because it kept dropping the can and slapped it so that it flew off the cabinet and across the floor.click to expand
well he threw the gps because we got lost and since he was the one who put the adress he felt fustrated because he drove for more than an hour. I said it was ok because the view was beautiful and we should enjoy it since we were there. Then he was trying to change something and he couldnt and threw it randomly and it hit me. He said that he would never do that on pourpose and he was incapable of doing something horrible to me...but i never saw that side of him so i was kinda in shock...we talked about it and things were fine..but i dont know how to deal with that type of behavior, i get anxious too when someone near me is nervous or angry...
Posted by HappyCapper
This is what I think is happening:
You want things in a certain way and are pretty darn sure your way is the "right" way. When he is not behaving the way you think is the right way, you call him on it, because to you his behaviour is "wrong." He gets nervous because the way he is as a person is apparently not good enough. As I see it, he has tried to accomodate you and feel that he has failed, because he is "wrong" No wonder he gets nervous. If you truly want to be with this man, there is one - and only one - way to go, imo:
You need to let go of every preconcieved piece of information in your head about how a guy "is supposed to" behave and start to get to know him as he is, and not as you want him to be or as someone you can change. Then you can start pondering if this is something you can live with.
Tbh, I think this will be very difficult, or even impossible, for you since you seem to be very set in your ways. But if you still want to try, I'll give you something to start up with: His ways are not wrong, they are just different from yours.
Well I really don't believe that he is nervous because of me, before we started dating he already had this problem in his hands wich are always shaking, he is nervous because he had a horrible past with his dad. nd when I said horrible is something that I cant even imagine going through. But I believe that maybe I dindt help..I really tried to be the perfect girlfriend for him, maybe i tried too hard and instead of doing something good I kinda ruined..I dont know, but I really thought that I was doing the right thing. And I guess you are right, I know what I want because I've been in several abusive relationships and I have some trust issues, that's why I didnt aprove the disapearings from his part. I want him to give me my space but I have to feel his presence, I have to know that what he feels for me is real, for me to be relax when he is not around...I want to try to make things right but I dont think he can hear me anymore, he wants time and I have to respect, even though that it hurts a lot.
Posted by Meowmixxy
I agree with HappyCapper, he seems like a good guy! I am kinda going through the same thing with a Capricorn. We have to learn to trust their leadership. I wish he was a little more forgiving but I'm sure that come with time. I am learning they are their own favorite company then come their loved ones. They are very cautious and careful creatures so when you're telling him that what he doing is making you feel a certain way, they are hard on themselves about but only for so long before their ego tell them otherwise.
He is really a good guy, the most beautiful human being i've ever met and now that all of you gave me some insight I can see more of his side wich is kinda difficult when you are in the situation. I get that he is like that and I see that I have to respect it. It's just that I would like just a little bit of atention because sometimes I feel that I'm not that important to him even though he texted me everyday..and its hard for me to accept being ignored by someone who says he loves you so much
I dont now if he will come back but if he does I will be more atentive to what he really his.
Thank you so much * 🙂 *
I'm going roads because my parents are a Gem/Cap match and theyve been 30 years+ strong. Its a hard match for most people though. They Dont have Anything similar in their personalities.
one thing though is that my Mother wouldn't let my dad get away with that kind of behavior at all. If my dad was in a foul mood, she'd give him his space but let him know upfront that he was being inapropriate or unreasonable. She is good at making him chase her to make her happy.
I think they really worked because they shared a strong faith, she made sure he respected her, and were both goal oriented.
one thing though is that my Mother wouldn't let my dad get away with that kind of behavior at all. If my dad was in a foul mood, she'd give him his space but let him know upfront that he was being inapropriate or unreasonable. She is good at making him chase her to make her happy.
I think they really worked because they shared a strong faith, she made sure he respected her, and were both goal oriented.
**I'm going to add because...
Sry autocorrect is out of whack
Sry autocorrect is out of whack
Posted by CapricornLaurie
I'm going roads because my parents are a Gem/Cap match and theyve been 30 years+ strong. Its a hard match for most people though. They Dont have Anything similar in their personalities.
one thing though is that my Mother wouldn't let my dad get away with that kind of behavior at all. If my dad was in a foul mood, she'd give him his space but let him know upfront that he was being inapropriate or unreasonable. She is good at making him chase her to make her happy.
I think they really worked because they shared a strong faith, she made sure he respected her, and were both goal oriented.
Well that's pretty much what i've been doing but he is gone now.. I dont like to tell him all the time that i dont like this or that but for me it is disrespectful.. He doesn't seem to mind what i think about that.. But i a glad to hear your parents story, maybe there is hope 🙂
Everything is perfect except the ignoring and disappearings..
Posted by Gemini772Posted by truecapPosted by Gemini772
I agree that he could show me he was thankfull by doing things for me.. But at that moment it would be nice for me to hear a thank you (off course i would never argue about it). Well i said to him that i didnt like his behaviour.. Do you know what its like to wake up next to him, dont receive a good morning Kiss, go all daY without a Kiss or a hug, and then at night he would cuddle Just for sex.. Or have a gps thrown at you.. I dont want to make a novel about it but i am a emotional person as you can guess and i just wanted to feel loved like i tried to make him. I know that he needs time and its what i am giving him, but still moving on..i dont want to feel useless anymore.. Or humiliated.. Sometimes i wish that i could wake up from this nightmare..
A lot of caps aren't into that touchy feely stuff. My ex Gemini used to smother me and all he wanted was to hold each other, snuggle, etc....It was suffocating. I just wasn't as touchy feely as he is.
That's exactly what he said and I have to respect that...click to expand
And he needs to respect that you are! It's hard to find that happy medium where both parties are satisfied.
Posted by Gemini772Posted by truecapPosted by Gemini772
The trip was arranged by the 2 of US, but he took care of the reservation and place. But he was never s?_ excited as i was..thats what he ttansmited to me. I really loved the trip, the view, the peace.. We argued about his behaviour there specially after the gps thing..he was always nervous and i didnt enjoy that because i, first of all didnt understand why and i wanted him to relax..patient is a virtue indeed..
I have a hard time showing excitement. When I try it comes across as fake.
What was the root cause of the reason he threw the GPS? Was he frustrated? Was it giving wrong directions? Was it malfunctioning? He told you his intention wasn't to throw it at you and it probably wasn't. I once got frustrated with an under the cabinet can opener because it kept dropping the can and slapped it so that it flew off the cabinet and across the floor.
well he threw the gps because we got lost and since he was the one who put the adress he felt fustrated because he drove for more than an hour. I said it was ok because the view was beautiful and we should enjoy it since we were there. Then he was trying to change something and he couldnt and threw it randomly and it hit me. He said that he would never do that on pourpose and he was incapable of doing something horrible to me...but i never saw that side of him so i was kinda in shock...we talked about it and things were fine..but i dont know how to deal with that type of behavior, i get anxious too when someone near me is nervous or angry...click to expand
Yeah, sometimes it's hard to handle the frustration.
Imagine what a tempermental Aries would have done! I grew up with an Aries father and you get used to those outbursts. lol! You have to realize it's not personal and once you do, you'll feel a lot better about it and learn to ignore it.
Posted by truecapPosted by Gemini772Posted by truecapPosted by Gemini772
The trip was arranged by the 2 of US, but he took care of the reservation and place. But he was never s?_ excited as i was..thats what he ttansmited to me. I really loved the trip, the view, the peace.. We argued about his behaviour there specially after the gps thing..he was always nervous and i didnt enjoy that because i, first of all didnt understand why and i wanted him to relax..patient is a virtue indeed..
I have a hard time showing excitement. When I try it comes across as fake.
What was the root cause of the reason he threw the GPS? Was he frustrated? Was it giving wrong directions? Was it malfunctioning? He told you his intention wasn't to throw it at you and it probably wasn't. I once got frustrated with an under the cabinet can opener because it kept dropping the can and slapped it so that it flew off the cabinet and across the floor.
well he threw the gps because we got lost and since he was the one who put the adress he felt fustrated because he drove for more than an hour. I said it was ok because the view was beautiful and we should enjoy it since we were there. Then he was trying to change something and he couldnt and threw it randomly and it hit me. He said that he would never do that on pourpose and he was incapable of doing something horrible to me...but i never saw that side of him so i was kinda in shock...we talked about it and things were fine..but i dont know how to deal with that type of behavior, i get anxious too when someone near me is nervous or angry...
Yeah, sometimes it's hard to handle the frustration.
Imagine what a tempermental Aries would have done! I grew up with an Aries father and you get used to those outbursts. lol! You have to realize it's not personal and once you do, you'll feel a lot better about it and learn to ignore it.click to expand
I really hope so 🙂, I don't know if I will get back to him but I'll be more atentive to the differences between me and whoever is destined for me ... 🙂
Posted by Gemini772Posted by CapricornLaurie
one thing though is that my Mother wouldn't let my dad get away with that kind of behavior at all. If my dad was in a foul mood, she'd give him his space but let him know upfront that he was being inapropriate or unreasonable. She is good at making him chase her to make her happy.
I think they really worked because they shared a strong faith, she made sure he respected her, and were both goal oriented.
Well that's pretty much what i've been doing but he is gone now...click to expand
Exactly. You finally woke up from "the horrible nightmare." Congratulations. Difference between you and cap and CL's parents is that they probably got to know each other and learned to accept each other over 30+ years. In your case it seems you are telling him what he is supposed to do and how he is supposed to act every step of the way after a few months without even considering that he doesn't function like you do.
I think this line is pretty telling: "he was always nervous and i didnt enjoy that because i, first of all didnt understand why and i wanted him to relax.." You acknowledge that he is nervous and instead of wondering why, you just register that you don't understand it and that it annoys you without even a thought that it may have something to do with you. (And when I suggest that you may be part of it, you blame his dad.) And then you end the sentence with the statement that you just wanted him to relax. It's like you're on different planets. It's not that easy for him to "just relax." I'm sure you mean well, but please think for just a moment. I know it can work between a cap and a gem first hand - I was happily married to a gem for years. I am not trying to be mean here, I'm trying to open your eyes.
Still waiting.. We Work in the same place but different sections and sometimes its normal to see each other far away or to say hi.. But sometimes i get the feeling that he is ok, wich is good for him, but i feel like i was nothing to him and that he forgot all the moments that we spent together 😢. I thought of texting him like "hi, how are you" but then i remember that he needs time.. Its not easy :/. His venus is in capricorn (12 january 1989..can this tell you something about him?
When he passes beside my place where i Work he always speaks very loud as if he wants me to notice him.. I dont know. I wish i had all the answers
Posted by CapricornLaurie
I'm going roads because my parents are a Gem/Cap match and theyve been 30 years+ strong. Its a hard match for most people though. They Dont have Anything similar in their personalities.
one thing though is that my Mother wouldn't let my dad get away with that kind of behavior at all. If my dad was in a foul mood, she'd give him his space but let him know upfront that he was being inapropriate or unreasonable. She is good at making him chase her to make her happy.
I think they really worked because they shared a strong faith, she made sure he respected her, and were both goal oriented.
i see alot of gem/cap marriages. Just like my girlfriend's parents. They don't have a hard time according to my gf. She told me her parents marriage is good because she follows him (he leads and she follows, and does what he asks/adheres to HIS rules) so it's that kind of dynamics. And she is normally passive (what my gf said of her mother, that her mother is passive but kind, loving, so the marriage is great)
Oh wow thank you for all the responses. I really love him and i wanted to gire a second chance to our love.. And i miss him a lot..my moon is in scorpio and my rising is Taurus (17 june 1989). His rising is in scorpio if im not misturem. I Just dont know if i should try talk with him or Just wait. We really had good moments that tells me that he loved me.. I dont know about now..
Just don't forget what you said: "he was tired of always being sorry for his bejaviour" Yes, his dad started it, but please don't make it worse. You can't undo what his father did to him, but you can help him feel better today. If he behaves in a manner that you can not accept, then maybe you just shouldn't be together. His manners are not acceptable to you. Embrace him for what he is and see if you can live with it.
You are two very different people and from what I understand from your posts, it seems to me you have trouble understanding each other and especially you - him. Difference can be a good thing in a relationship as long as you understand the other person and accept them for who he or she is. You also seem to be a little bit of a drama queen - something I don't think he appreciates much. For proof of you being a drama queen, check below:
"But at that moment it would be nice for me to hear a thank you (off course i would never argue about it). Well i said to him that i didnt like his behaviour.. Do you know what its like to wake up next to him, dont receive a good morning Kiss, go all daY without a Kiss or a hug, and then at night he would cuddle Just for sex.. Or have a gps thrown at you.. I dont want to make a novel about it but i am a emotional person as you can guess and i just wanted to feel loved like i tried to make him. I know that he needs time and its what i am giving him, but still moving on..i dont want to feel useless anymore.. Or humiliated.. Sometimes i wish that i could wake up from this nightmare."
Useless? Humiliated? Wishing you could wake up from this nightmare? Seriously? Hearing these words, I would have thought he was beating you up or something. And this gps thing is being blown out of all proportion, seeing as you yourself say it wasn't done intentionally.
You say that you try to make him feel loved and I believe that, but just as you would rather hear a "thank you" than to recieve a kind act - he may not understand your way of showing him that he is loved. Do you see what I mean? I'm not saying that you are a bad person or that he is a bad person, just that you are different. And that sometimes "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" just doesn't cut it, since we are all different. You should be with someone who appreciates you for who you are and he shouldn't have to be sorry for his behaviour on a regular basis. I sincerily wish both of you all the best!
You are two very different people and from what I understand from your posts, it seems to me you have trouble understanding each other and especially you - him. Difference can be a good thing in a relationship as long as you understand the other person and accept them for who he or she is. You also seem to be a little bit of a drama queen - something I don't think he appreciates much. For proof of you being a drama queen, check below:
"But at that moment it would be nice for me to hear a thank you (off course i would never argue about it). Well i said to him that i didnt like his behaviour.. Do you know what its like to wake up next to him, dont receive a good morning Kiss, go all daY without a Kiss or a hug, and then at night he would cuddle Just for sex.. Or have a gps thrown at you.. I dont want to make a novel about it but i am a emotional person as you can guess and i just wanted to feel loved like i tried to make him. I know that he needs time and its what i am giving him, but still moving on..i dont want to feel useless anymore.. Or humiliated.. Sometimes i wish that i could wake up from this nightmare."
Useless? Humiliated? Wishing you could wake up from this nightmare? Seriously? Hearing these words, I would have thought he was beating you up or something. And this gps thing is being blown out of all proportion, seeing as you yourself say it wasn't done intentionally.
You say that you try to make him feel loved and I believe that, but just as you would rather hear a "thank you" than to recieve a kind act - he may not understand your way of showing him that he is loved. Do you see what I mean? I'm not saying that you are a bad person or that he is a bad person, just that you are different. And that sometimes "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" just doesn't cut it, since we are all different. You should be with someone who appreciates you for who you are and he shouldn't have to be sorry for his behaviour on a regular basis. I sincerily wish both of you all the best!
I understand what you are saying and in some points i think you are right. I know that we are different but i honestly think that we could Work together. I think that what happened was that we both were selfish by not trying to figure out each other personalities. I see now that i could make things better because i can see that i failed in some points in our relationship. I dont know now how to deal with the breakup and how to start again with him. Thank you and i wish you the best too 🙂
If I were you, I would keep thinking about this - about you as a couple, you as individuals and your differences and similarities and about what went wrong. When you feel you are ready, you contact him and ask to see him in person. Then you simply tell him how you feel and that you have thought about all this and what your conclusions were. Then ask for his perspective. Were you wrong in your assessements? What could have made it easier for him, just as you need to tell him what would make things easier for you.
Most of all, be sure not to critizise. Don't tell him that you don't like this or that behaviour unless it's really really serious. For example, let's say you want to talk about his disppearences. Tell him that you may have overreacted, but that you got really worried when he just disappeared like that, so if he would just give you a heads-up or call or whatever you would have been satisfied with.
I'm not telling you to lie. I just mean: find solutions, not problems. Find middle ground. Show him that you accept him for what he is(if you do, ofc). I'm not saying you have to like it all, but then tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel critizised, especially as this seems to be a sore spot in him, mostly due to his dad. And maybe you don't need to talk about all this on your first meeting, but imo, it needs to be resolved, or you can not move forward - which is what you want. Just my opinion.
Most of all, be sure not to critizise. Don't tell him that you don't like this or that behaviour unless it's really really serious. For example, let's say you want to talk about his disppearences. Tell him that you may have overreacted, but that you got really worried when he just disappeared like that, so if he would just give you a heads-up or call or whatever you would have been satisfied with.
I'm not telling you to lie. I just mean: find solutions, not problems. Find middle ground. Show him that you accept him for what he is(if you do, ofc). I'm not saying you have to like it all, but then tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel critizised, especially as this seems to be a sore spot in him, mostly due to his dad. And maybe you don't need to talk about all this on your first meeting, but imo, it needs to be resolved, or you can not move forward - which is what you want. Just my opinion.
Posted by EverythingPosted by truecap
What makes a man happy is for their woman to be happy. He took you on a trip and you complained. Men see this as they made the plans and you weren't happy, so indirectly you aren't happy with him.
He probably feels like no matter what he does for you, you're not happy. So why continue making someone unhappy and why continue feeling like you're spinning your wheels. All you want to do is make her happy, and she's not, so they just stop trying.
To the thread maker. This text above is a bunch of BS.
Don't believe that. First of all not all men are the same or work the same way. Second of all you didn't complain. You didn't mention anything until the vacation was over. You didn't do anything wrong. You just want to be loved.
What you need to understand is that coldness is a part of most Capricorn's existence. If it hurts you that he's cold then you have a problem. It's his way of reacting to something that's affected his emotions. Yes maybe he could talk about it. But maybe he doesn't know himself what the problem is and maybe that's why he needs the break. He's lost and confused. Obviously you're not the only one who isn't happy.
But why it hurt that the gps fell in your knees I don't understand? A woman of a strong man needs to be strong herself. Needs to be able to understand him and everything he does shouldn't hurt her. I know you love him. But you both need this break. Think it all through. Is he the right one for you really? What can you both do differently? Would you rather try on another lover?
Try understanding him but also listen to yourself and know your boundaries. Know wen you're too hurt and when it's too much and if you need to let go. If it's painful for you to wait for him. Then don't. I don't know who he thinks he is. You don't need to wait. Move on.click to expand
What I wrote wasn't the case in her scenario. We got that clarified.
However, I stand behind what I said 100% .
Basically it boils down to he feels like his behavior isn't making you happy, he doesn't know how to make you happy, so he's stepping away.
A little advice for the future: If you're going to tell a man about one behavior that isn't making you happy, you better have three examples of things he does that DOES make you happy. Just so he also knows what he's doing right. He can build on that. He can't build on just the negative.
A little advice for the future: If you're going to tell a man about one behavior that isn't making you happy, you better have three examples of things he does that DOES make you happy. Just so he also knows what he's doing right. He can build on that. He can't build on just the negative.
Thank you once again for the replies 🙂. Yes i have been thinking a lot about us and i truly see my mistakes.. We, apart of all that i complaint, get along s?_ well. He introduced me to his Mother as his girlfriend (wich was the first time he has done that), i spent Christmas with his family, i slept over his House s?_ many times, he has a chinchila that i love btw lol. And s?_ much more and i Just didnt want to give up for something s?_ small that we could solve together. I love him, that's all i know now..
Do you think (based on his chart) that we could be together again?...
Posted by EverythingPosted by Gemini772
Oh wow thank you for all the responses. I really love him and i wanted to gire a second chance to our love.. And i miss him a lot..my moon is in scorpio and my rising is Taurus (17 june 1989). His rising is in scorpio if im not misturem. I Just dont know if i should try talk with him or Just wait. We really had good moments that tells me that he loved me.. I don't know about now..
Doesn't matter if you want to give it another shot. He has dumped you. He wants to be your friend. That's not love to me. That's running away from someone as fast as you can.
Yes your venus is opposite his sun and your moon is sextile his sun. Scorpios and Caps often look very much alike. So you can't just guess he's scorpio ascendant, that could just be his cap sun shining through. Scorp is even on your decendant. Which means you really love this guy, need him and want him in every way. You find him beautiful. But the question is what he thinks of you. He hasn't acted like he needs or loves you, in my opinion.click to expand
Well i know that he's ascendant is scorpio because he was born at 2 am. And he told me that he doesn't want to be my enemie..i thought that i could somehow get back to him. Its dificult for me to realize that he doesn't feel nothing after all that i did for him and all the good moments that he gave me.. But well, we cant have everything.. I really thought that he simply needed some time to think..
Posted by Gemini772Posted by EverythingPosted by Gemini772
Oh wow thank you for all the responses. I really love him and i wanted to gire a second chance to our love.. And i miss him a lot..my moon is in scorpio and my rising is Taurus (17 june 1989). His rising is in scorpio if im not misturem. I Just dont know if i should try talk with him or Just wait. We really had good moments that tells me that he loved me.. I don't know about now..
Doesn't matter if you want to give it another shot. He has dumped you. He wants to be your friend. That's not love to me. That's running away from someone as fast as you can.
Yes your venus is opposite his sun and your moon is sextile his sun. Scorpios and Caps often look very much alike. So you can't just guess he's scorpio ascendant, that could just be his cap sun shining through. Scorp is even on your decendant. Which means you really love this guy, need him and want him in every way. You find him beautiful. But the question is what he thinks of you. He hasn't acted like he needs or loves you, in my opinion.
Well i know that he's ascendant is scorpio because he was born at 2 am. And he told me that he doesn't want to be my enemie..i thought that i could somehow get back to him. Its dificult for me to realize that he doesn't feel nothing after all that i did for him and all the good moments that he gave me.. But well, we cant have everything.. I really thought that he simply needed some time to think..click to expand
"after all you did for him"? Ouch! That sounded bad.
Anywho: if you really want him back, then just try. What do you have to lose? If you get a no, then at least you know - no regrets. We don't know him. We don't know you. All we can do is guess. Try and you'll find out for sure. But not until you're ready. Imo.
@OP
I agree with Everything that if a guy breaks up with you, you should move on. Simple as that. But I must add a however to this. We know the reason for him breaking up with you and if things have indeed changed, then I can see no reason for you not to try. Won't take long. Worst case: you get a no...AND can move on more easily - no regrets, no what-ifs.
@Everything
Regarding the way he broke up with her, I could be wrong, but I have the feeling that it wasn't as bad as it sounded in the opening post - her post could be read in different ways, imo. And you know I share your hatred for half ass break-ups(maybe🙂).
I agree with Everything that if a guy breaks up with you, you should move on. Simple as that. But I must add a however to this. We know the reason for him breaking up with you and if things have indeed changed, then I can see no reason for you not to try. Won't take long. Worst case: you get a no...AND can move on more easily - no regrets, no what-ifs.
@Everything
Regarding the way he broke up with her, I could be wrong, but I have the feeling that it wasn't as bad as it sounded in the opening post - her post could be read in different ways, imo. And you know I share your hatred for half ass break-ups(maybe🙂).
I'm really happy that all of you took some time to answer my questions 🙂, thank you. Well today I've been thinking a lot about this because its starting to affect me a lot and i have so much more to take care in my life, i just cant sit and wait for someone that shows me that doesnt want me. I really thought that he wanted to break up althought he said that needed time..maybe to not hurt me, I dont know..but inside i tried to make a beautiful story that he really need time and after that he will come back to me...i put the blame on disney movies :p lol
Well i do think that I deserve better and slowly i'm starting to realize that 🙂, it's difficult but I'm going to do that. I want to feel loved too, and i will be 🙂
**
Well i do think that I deserve better and slowly i'm starting to realize that 🙂, it's difficult but I'm going to do that. I want to feel loved too, and i will be 🙂
**
Posted by EverythingPosted by truecapPosted by EverythingPosted by truecap
What makes a man happy is for their woman to be happy. He took you on a trip and you complained. Men see this as they made the plans and you weren't happy, so indirectly you aren't happy with him.
He probably feels like no matter what he does for you, you're not happy. So why continue making someone unhappy and why continue feeling like you're spinning your wheels. All you want to do is make her happy, and she's not, so they just stop trying.
To the thread maker. This text above is a bunch of BS.
Don't believe that. First of all not all men are the same or work the same way. Second of all you didn't complain. You didn't mention anything until the vacation was over. You didn't do anything wrong. You just want to be loved.
What you need to understand is that coldness is a part of most Capricorn's existence. If it hurts you that he's cold then you have a problem. It's his way of reacting to something that's affected his emotions. Yes maybe he could talk about it. But maybe he doesn't know himself what the problem is and maybe that's why he needs the break. He's lost and confused. Obviously you're not the only one who isn't happy.
But why it hurt that the gps fell in your knees I don't understand? A woman of a strong man needs to be strong herself. Needs to be able to understand him and everything he does shouldn't hurt her. I know you love him. But you both need this break. Think it all through. Is he the right one for you really? What can you both do differently? Would you rather try on another lover?
Try understanding him but also listen to yourself and know your boundaries. Know wen you're too hurt and when it's too much and if you need to let go. If it's painful for you to wait for him. Then don't. I don't know who he thinks he is. You don't need to wait. Move on.
What I wrote wasn't the case in her scenario. We got that clarified.
However, I stand behind what I said 100% .click to expand
What do you mean. You wrote it by mistake but you stand by it? Make up your mind. Stand by it if you want but it's generalizing a
@everything
I thought she complained about the trip in general instead of his behavior. So what I replied really doesn't apply to her situation. However, the sentiment of what I said is true and I stand behind it.
I thought she complained about the trip in general instead of his behavior. So what I replied really doesn't apply to her situation. However, the sentiment of what I said is true and I stand behind it.
Great that you made a decision that you are happy with! All the best! 🙂
I don't know what he is doing right now but when we talked he said that he doesnt want to be with another women, he wants some time to himself and dating others is not his mind. But he is single now and he can do whatever he wants, i will pretend that I dont care 🙂. Time heals
And please @everything and @truecap dont get mad at each other for this, you both are great people 😄
And please @everything and @truecap dont get mad at each other for this, you both are great people 😄
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Well, 1 week passed and he didnt say anything. I don't want to be sad all the time because of this and so I wanted to talk with him. We talked and he said that he needed time for him because he was tired of always being sorry for his bejaviour and that I dont deserve to be sad all the time because of that. He said that he wants to see what time reserved for us and that he wants to be my friend. Off course I didnt want this outcome but I have to agree with him, he always disappear and it worrys me. I'm sad because I really love him. He introduced me to his mother and sister and we had really great moments and I really like to see him happy because he didnt have a good past (he is always shaking, like he is nervous but he cant control it). He said that he will not forget waht I did for him, that he will not forget me so easily and that he is here if I need something. I tanked the good moments we spent together and that's it..it hurts but I will give him his space...do you think that is something wrong with him? I REALLY miss him...
He was born in 12 January 1989 and I think his ascend is Scorpio.
I was born on 17 June 1989 and my rsing sign is Taurus
*SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH* 🙂