Two rights make a wrong?

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Sn1p3r187
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Well I think I can relate this to relationships in a way. Say if you had two bossy and dominating people, and they happen to get in a relationship. They can definitely see eye to eye on a lot of subjects. On the surface it seems perfect, but it's far from it at home. Considering that they're both bossy and controlling one is gonna try to one up the other because it's bound happen sooner or later. Thus leading to a never ending cycle of fights that really to wear each person out. Man tries to boss around the woman and vice versa. Eventually it gets explosive and leads to a tragic end of what seemed like a good relationship on paper and on the surface. Do you think it's good to date someone with the same personality traits as you or is it better to date someone who differentiates or is your opposite to you?
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CapTenn
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Good question, and one I struggle with.

I am attracted to women with the same traits as myself (principled, strong opinions, an iron will), but it does cause for power struggles.

One thing is for certain -- in any relationship there has the be a "boss", or leader, --- a final decision maker. There must be a chief. And, I will be the chief. That is not to say that I am a dictator, because I am not. I will defer if the woman in my life has more experience on a certain subject being debated, but if all things are equal, or if I have more knowledge in an area -- I prefer to make the call.

I would probably be better suited pairing up with a submissive type of woman, but I just find that attitude almost repulsive.

I need a woman to stand up and call me an asshole, and dig her heels in when need be. I am a glutton for punishment I suppose. Divorced and single -- no surprise there. 😉
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Sn1p3r187
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Sounds like me CapTenn. I always gotta be the boss, it's the way it rolls with me. Something about my equals makes it attractive but it'd be hard to let my decisions get by if they won't heed to my advice. Submissive would be great, but it just seems like submissive people have no control over what happens to them and seem to just go with the flow and never tries to pull themself out sometimes. They seem prone to anyone convincing them to do wrong. But then again it makes it easier for us.
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CapTenn
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Posted by Impulsv
Some people just need drama n power plays in their relationships. Until they tire n learn it's not about bossing ur partner but sharing life's journey.

Sure a woman can set the boundaries without having to power play. Not being bossy doesn't always mean submissive either
It's about mature behavior.



That SOUNDS lovely.......and idealistic.

Unfortunately, real life get in the way.

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CapTenn
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Posted by Impulsv
No not really it does exist. u say U have chosen bossy before so that will be the reality of ur experience. But do U know what it's like to be with a mature person? They exist.
Relationship about team work exist. Not one upping each other.



Yes, I know what it is like to be with a great, mature person.

Yes, relationships are about teamwork.

However, conflicts will inevitably arise, and someone's decision must be given precedence. How that aspect is handled by the "offended" party will determine the direction of the relationship. Can egos be kept in check? Sometimes yes, but sometimes no.

(And I never said I chose "bossy". I wouldn't tolerate that for more than about 3 seconds.)
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truecap
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Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Impulsv
I'm not talking about an argement free relationship those don't exist. But a arguing fairly with mutual interest to come to an agreement over ego fight about who is right or wrong.



No disagreement here.

But.....there always has to be a head of the relationship. Period.
click to expand




My generation was taught the man is the leader of the household. The Bible says so.
Doesn't mean the woman is weak and submissive, but she should defer to the man out of respect as he is head of household. At the same time, the men were taught to listen to the woman and consider her opinions, but ultimately he has the final say so.

If things work as biblical teaching says, then things are hunky dory. But that always isn't the case.
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CapTenn
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Posted by truecap
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Impulsv
I'm not talking about an argement free relationship those don't exist. But a arguing fairly with mutual interest to come to an agreement over ego fight about who is right or wrong.



No disagreement here.

But.....there always has to be a head of the relationship. Period.



My generation was taught the man is the leader of the household. The Bible says so.
Doesn't mean the woman is weak and submissive, but she should defer to the man out of respect as he is head of household. At the same time, the men were taught to listen to the woman and consider her opinions, but ultimately he has the final say so.

If things work as biblical teaching says, then things are hunky dory. But that always isn't the case.
click to expand




Virtually the same generation as you, TC.

I agree. Now, if the idiot men would get on board with being "The Spiritual Leaders" of the home, and the "Head of the wife", but also loving their wives as Jesus loved the church (nurturing and cherishing), we'd all live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, the world is moving in the opposite direction at warp speed. There very little submitting by wives, and cherishing by husbands, that I see today -- with the exception of my grandparents generation.

I say these things with full acknowledgment that these things are very hard to do, and I myself have failed miserably in the past in honoring God's words on marriage (amongst countless other failures and shortcomings).

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truecap
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Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by truecap
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Impulsv
I'm not talking about an argement free relationship those don't exist. But a arguing fairly with mutual interest to come to an agreement over ego fight about who is right or wrong.



No disagreement here.

But.....there always has to be a head of the relationship. Period.



My generation was taught the man is the leader of the household. The Bible says so.
Doesn't mean the woman is weak and submissive, but she should defer to the man out of respect as he is head of household. At the same time, the men were taught to listen to the woman and consider her opinions, but ultimately he has the final say so.

If things work as biblical teaching says, then things are hunky dory. But that always isn't the case.



Virtually the same generation as you, TC.

I agree. Now, if the idiot men would get on board with being "The Spiritual Leaders" of the home, and the "Head of the wife", but also loving their wives as Jesus loved the church (nurturing and cherishing), we'd all live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, the world is moving in the opposite direction at warp speed. There very little submitting by wives, and cherishing by husbands, that I see today -- with the exception of my grandparents generation.

I say these things with full acknowledgment that these things are very hard to do, and I myself have failed miserably in the past in honoring God's words on marriage (amongst countless other failures and shortcomings).

click to expand




As have I.

I am divorced as well. 🙂

Hard thing is it is hard to find someone worthy of deferring to these days. Its sad what the world has become.

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Sn1p3r187
@Sn1p3r187
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Comments: 546 · Posts: 6870 · Topics: 474
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by truecap
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Impulsv
I'm not talking about an argement free relationship those don't exist. But a arguing fairly with mutual interest to come to an agreement over ego fight about who is right or wrong.



No disagreement here.

But.....there always has to be a head of the relationship. Period.



My generation was taught the man is the leader of the household. The Bible says so.
Doesn't mean the woman is weak and submissive, but she should defer to the man out of respect as he is head of household. At the same time, the men were taught to listen to the woman and consider her opinions, but ultimately he has the final say so.

If things work as biblical teaching says, then things are hunky dory. But that always isn't the case.



Virtually the same generation as you, TC.

I agree. Now, if the idiot men would get on board with being "The Spiritual Leaders" of the home, and the "Head of the wife", but also loving their wives as Jesus loved the church (nurturing and cherishing), we'd all live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, the world is moving in the opposite direction at warp speed. There very little submitting by wives, and cherishing by husbands, that I see today -- with the exception of my grandparents generation.

I say these things with full acknowledgment that these things are very hard to do, and I myself have failed miserably in the past in honoring God's words on marriage (amongst countless other failures and shortcomings).

click to expand


Can you break it down for me Captenn? What did you mean by opposite direction?
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CapTenn
@CapTenn
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Comments: 15 · Posts: 2575 · Topics: 9
Posted by Sn1p3r187
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by truecap
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Impulsv
I'm not talking about an argement free relationship those don't exist. But a arguing fairly with mutual interest to come to an agreement over ego fight about who is right or wrong.



No disagreement here.

But.....there always has to be a head of the relationship. Period.



My generation was taught the man is the leader of the household. The Bible says so.
Doesn't mean the woman is weak and submissive, but she should defer to the man out of respect as he is head of household. At the same time, the men were taught to listen to the woman and consider her opinions, but ultimately he has the final say so.

If things work as biblical teaching says, then things are hunky dory. But that always isn't the case.



Virtually the same generation as you, TC.

I agree. Now, if the idiot men would get on board with being "The Spiritual Leaders" of the home, and the "Head of the wife", but also loving their wives as Jesus loved the church (nurturing and cherishing), we'd all live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, the world is moving in the opposite direction at warp speed. There very little submitting by wives, and cherishing by husbands, that I see today -- with the exception of my grandparents generation.

I say these things with full acknowledgment that these things are very hard to do, and I myself have failed miserably in the past in honoring God's words on marriage (amongst countless other failures and shortcomings).

Can you break it down for me Captenn? What did you mean by opposite direction?
click to expand




Men and fathers are more absent from the family life than at any other time in our history.

Ladies' insistence to be independent come hell or high water to the detriment of the family unit.

The out of wedlock birth rates are at unbelievably alarming highs.

Me-Me-Me -- and the instant gratification culture prevalent today.

The turning away from GOD. If society turned towards God, my aforem
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Sn1p3r187
@Sn1p3r187
12 Years5,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 546 · Posts: 6870 · Topics: 474
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Sn1p3r187
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by truecap
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Impulsv
I'm not talking about an argement free relationship those don't exist. But a arguing fairly with mutual interest to come to an agreement over ego fight about who is right or wrong.



No disagreement here.

But.....there always has to be a head of the relationship. Period.



My generation was taught the man is the leader of the household. The Bible says so.
Doesn't mean the woman is weak and submissive, but she should defer to the man out of respect as he is head of household. At the same time, the men were taught to listen to the woman and consider her opinions, but ultimately he has the final say so.

If things work as biblical teaching says, then things are hunky dory. But that always isn't the case.



Virtually the same generation as you, TC.

I agree. Now, if the idiot men would get on board with being "The Spiritual Leaders" of the home, and the "Head of the wife", but also loving their wives as Jesus loved the church (nurturing and cherishing), we'd all live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, the world is moving in the opposite direction at warp speed. There very little submitting by wives, and cherishing by husbands, that I see today -- with the exception of my grandparents generation.

I say these things with full acknowledgment that these things are very hard to do, and I myself have failed miserably in the past in honoring God's words on marriage (amongst countless other failures and shortcomings).

Can you break it down for me Captenn? What did you mean by opposite direction?
click to expand




Men and fathers are more absent from the family life than at any other time in our history.

Ladies' insistence to be independent come hell or high water to the detriment of the family unit.

The out of wedlock birth rates are at unbelievably alarming highs.

Me-Me-Me -- and the instant gratification