What is he saying—?

Hello everyone! First time posting, long time lurker. Being a Cancer this board has taught me much patience and understanding of my Cappy man but now I am stumped. We have been dating for 4 months,I'm 46 he's 48 both with demanding careers. Thanks to this board I'm fine with his disappearing act of 3-4 days at a time but I do miss him terribly. He called and asked to see me Friday but there was some urgency in his voice. I did not question him. When we met up he made a point of saying that he wanted to see me but just to talk and "catch up". We had a great time as always but he did make a point (in his way) that sex wasn't the topic of the meeting, he just wanted to see me.

Question: Does this mean he cares? Ugh!! What does this mean please..................

I personally think the urgency in his voice was him showing his need to see you, which meant he missed you. I think he cares.

I wouldn't worry too much (I know, difficult for an emotional person). He probably cares about you more than you realize. Sometimes caring can be more important than love for a Cap. I don't know if I can explain it, but his desire to see you "platonically" demonstrates that he respects your relationship and sex is not the focus.

In our dating phase, my Cappy was pretty adamant about sex not being the focus (even though we had mind blowing chemistry) because he didn't want to lessen the bonding and relationship foundation. Now, it took me a year to figure out that was a good thing (my Scorpio influences moon/ascendant were kicking the bed posts 😛 )

Thank you everyone for your responses. It's very rare for me to text or call him first, I usually wait to hear from him but I was wondering if it would be ok for me to let him know I care. I'm not saying I will go all"Cancer/emotional" on him but I'm kind of feeling he needs to hear this from me— Advice please.......

And another question.....after his disappearing acts should I always say "yes" to seeing him? I'm not a game player but maybe I shouldn't be so available—?? Thank you in advance.

I won't over do it; promise! Learned many years ago not to get so emotional. Thank you!

Thanks Fox. As frustrating as he is I gotta love him!! Are they all planners? Sometimes when he disappears for a few days I swear he is planning our next date...cracks me up!!

Still: this is him; pondering and must be sure before he moves. Although difficult and frustrating I will wait it out. To me he is worth the wait. I am seeing him tomorrow so will update. I do have another question. Last week I was really annoyed with the "disappearing act" therefore I did not answer his text. 30 minutes later he called. I was cold because I was angry but kept it simple. I'm sure he sensed that I wasn't my happy self. Question: do Caps realize when their mate is angry or do we have to WRITE IT DOWN. He is awesome but sometimes I lose my patience. So trying to not be over-emotional.

^^^ I agree

If you did the "cancer" thing, cold & pouty, he will notice but perhaps not immediately address if he addresses it at all. If so something bothers you, COMMUNICATE IT.

Update: this morning I received a text saying he had to cancel for tonight. Legit excuse;his Son needs him. He has never canceled before. BUT I'm totally annoyed. Look out....I'm going to vent..... I'm sick of the disappearing act, his planning, pondering and trying to figure him out!!!

I'm going to pull a classic crabby cancer and be over emotional and hide in my shell...well for at least an hour or two. I was so excited to see him. UGH! No I did not tell him I was upset. He has sent me 4 more texts so far today and I haven't answered. Can't right now because I will be over emotional.

One more thing please, how do I respond to the "person" instead of writing in the "add comments" box?? Thanks, I'm learning.

If ya plan on venting, have examples of disappearing to support your mission. He will need to understand which behaviors of his you are troubled by so he can work on it. Otherwise, if you start off just ranting with emotional bruhaha, he will turn off.

I'll IM you.

Lol...I must type IM a lot (damn autocorrect).

PM'd you, check your inbox.

Don't worry, I didn't vent to him. I vented to all of you....🙂 I will discuss it with him rationally if he brings it up. Right now I'm just so disappointed. Sigh..............

When Caps know you are upset will they address the issue—?

Fox

I think your suggestion will work--that is as long as I can put myself out there. Knowing I need to be calm and not so emotional is why I still haven't answered his texts from yesterday. He asked to see me tonight and I wanted to text "why so you can disappear again"— LOL; I had a bad day yesterday!

I wonder if he will ask me what was wrong?

JT thanks so much for your perspective. I'm not a clingy person at all and generally pretty rational. It was one of those days that everything built up and I wanted to explode!! Love the advice to sulk all I want when alone....🙂 I'm still getting used to the disappearing act but I'm sure I will adapt. Please send more advice; really appreciate your view.

So basically you can't be yourself around the capricorn man is what I am understanding. If something is bothering you, you have to retreat, re-think, appear poised and calm, show no emotions, pray it will pass...

I just finished telling my Capricorn guy that I need to see him more, it's been too long since the last time. He seemed surprised and didn't want to discuss it much. All he really had to say was he would have to think about it. Block of ice.

Lol emotional stage five clingers. That is funny but far from it. Maybe the cap I am dealing with is immature or whatever but the few times I've had an issue to discuss in the last few years... He doesn't like it very much. Nothing to do with being clingy. I let him run the show just the way he likes... But once in awhile stuff happens and needs to be discussed. Just saying its not well received... It's like he's been offended. Could be my direct approach? Heck I heard they like that.

Hello beautiful ES, how are you?
As you can see I am still fighting the same battle! So the tables have turned huh? Good to hear, do tell 🙂

ES it's sad that you need to go to that extreme but he's trying to get you back in, cuz guess what, he liked the attention and even the emotions, yeah that's right!! It made him feel alive. I always get told by him how closed up I am, how I keep everything to myself. I guess he's taken slightly aback when I do say exactly what I an feeling. He can't process it right there and then. I am happy to hear about your situation though, but be careful. Hugs

Everything has been great. I had previous plans for the Holidays and visited my friend out of town for a few days. Upon returning my Cappy man was soooo exited to see me! 3 days solid of "I missed you" then.........he's gone. No word from him at all until tonight (6 days). 3 casual text messages of which I did not respond. The last one being a sad face. I felt I needed to not be a doormat and not answer right away. Not happy with this behavior. To Tiki33 @ Canerita your opinion would be greatly appreaciated. btw I'm not clingy at all...........

Posted by Caplove

Posted by Crabbyqueen
Everything has been great. I had previous plans for the Holidays and visited my friend out of town for a few days. Upon returning my Cappy man was soooo exited to see me! 3 days solid of "I missed you" then.........he's gone. No word from him at all until tonight (6 days). 3 casual text messages of which I did not respond. The last one being a sad face. I felt I needed to not be a doormat and not answer right away. Not happy with this behavior. To Tiki33 @ Canerita your opinion would be greatly appreaciated. btw I'm not clingy at all...........

Did you text him or call him during those 6 days or did you wait for him to initiate?

click to expand

No I didn't contact him at all during the 6 days.

Im like that Metoo as well as my Cap dad I think, where as my Cap grandma is the complete opposite. Shes veryy thoughtful and if something comes to mind to do she'll do it. If someone comes to mind to call, she'll call them.

I sit on everything and miss nearly all opportunities, but that doesnt mean I wasnt thinking about someone or thinking about doing something for them. The thoughts/pros vs cons/timing etc do tend to overwhelm.