What to do when cap stops initiating contact—?

My cap stopped contacting me first.I've been the one hitting him up first and contacting him first.I feel like i'm chasing him and I really don't want to 😢 I know he's been busy with work,but he cant even contact me first to say hello,but he can contact his friends.Not fair 😢 Should I just stop reaching out first and wait for him?I just get super anxious when i dont contact him first because i fear he'll just forget about me ....

Posted by Bravolo
My cap stopped contacting me first.I've been the one hitting him up first and contacting him first.I feel like i'm chasing him and I really don't want to 😢 I know he's been busy with work,but he cant even contact me first to say hello,but he can contact his friends.Not fair 😢 Should I just stop reaching out first and wait for him?I just get super anxious when i dont contact him first because i fear he'll just forget about me ....

Caps as do most men prefer to do the chasing. Constantly calling first from a man's POV usually comes off like desperation or stalking, especially when he hasn't reciprocated with the same amount of effort toward you. Let him be and allow him to figure out what is what between the two of you or if there is going to be anything more than whatever your situation is now and contact you when he is ready. Cap men are masters of the hot/cold and push/pull game and unless you are a secure independent woman with a life outside of every little step he takes you will be constantly disappointed by his behavior because Caps do what they want on their timetable. If you aren't his girlfriend or someone he's built a solid foundation of trust and loyalty to and with then yes, he is going to put his friends before you. Hope that helps.

See the "Cap men?" thread...
Suck up the harsh realities. Feel the pain. Then you will see what earth signs endure and why they operate the way they do, and why they overcome it, and why water signs are absorbed into nothing and fire signs are snuffed out. Only the ultra emotionally strong survive in relationships with caps. I think this is why so many IRL hook up with aquas and virgos

You're right guys!It's so hard with caps!And the weirdest thing is he never wants to talk about what's going on in his life.So secretive.

Posted by 88
oh, that is right. I ADMIRE you so much Pidelight.

I wish I was as patient and understanding as you are,. I like to fire people out of my life quick.. lol

From one fellow Piscean to another...I admire you too! And I wasn't always this patient and understanding. LOL Believe me when I say that I have had choice words for my Cap and kicked him to the curb when I had enough of the head games. But that was many many years ago. He got with my program so of course all is good. Hahaha

Posted by AreTwoFour
See the "Cap men?" thread...
Suck up the harsh realities. Feel the pain. Then you will see what earth signs endure and why they operate the way they do, and why they overcome it, and why water signs are absorbed into nothing and fire signs are snuffed out. Only the ultra emotionally strong survive in relationships with caps. I think this is why so many IRL hook up with aquas and virgos

I beg to differ about being a water sign absorbed into nothing. If anything water can flood earth in a heartbeat just like fire can scorch it barren. But I agree that only a patient and emotionally strong individual no matter what sign can withstand the tests one must go through to win the heart of a Cap.

Posted by Pidelight

Posted by 88
oh, that is right. I ADMIRE you so much Pidelight.

I wish I was as patient and understanding as you are,. I like to fire people out of my life quick.. lol

From one fellow Piscean to another...I admire you too! And I wasn't always this patient and understanding. LOL Believe me when I say that I have had choice words for my Cap and kicked him to the curb when I had enough of the head games. But that was many many years ago. He got with my program so of course all is good. Hahaha

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It's awful how we have to change for them 😢 Like we have to act a certain way and pretend we don't have emotions because they don't like emotion .ugh they're soooo emotionally draining 😢

Posted by 88

Posted by Bravolo

Posted by Pidelight

Posted by 88
oh, that is right. I ADMIRE you so much Pidelight.

I wish I was as patient and understanding as you are,. I like to fire people out of my life quick.. lol

From one fellow Piscean to another...I admire you too! And I wasn't always this patient and understanding. LOL Believe me when I say that I have had choice words for my Cap and kicked him to the curb when I had enough of the head games. But that was many many years ago. He got with my program so of course all is good. Hahaha

It's awful how we have to change for them 😢 Like we have to act a certain way and pretend we don't have emotions because they don't like emotion .ugh they're soooo emotionally draining 😢

No my love, I don't change for no body. I will better myself yes, but change for someone never.

you be you, and let him be him. that is all there is to it. Just know when to let go and move on with your head high up if that happens. 🙂

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Aww you're a strong woman!I wish I was more like you!

My cap hasn't initiated contact in 5 days 😢 and the worst part is i see him writing on his friends walls and socializing with his friends on fb and can't even write me a hello.idk why he's acting this way. it really hurts 😢

Posted by FoxGlove
Hmmmm... this may be one of the infamous Cap 'tests.' Have you initiated any contact at all? If not, do something small, like poke him on fb or something -- or text him something flirty (not too serious) and see what happens. He might be wondering if you really like him or if he was bugging you.

I always contact him first and he knows i love him and miss him,cause i tell him all the time.I'm just tired of initiating cause when i do he doesn't seem to want to really talk :/

Posted by FoxGlove
Ok -- if you always contact first and he knows you love him and miss him, forget what I said. I'm with 88 -- you just sit tight and get on with your life. Let him make the first move.

ok i'll listen to you guys!!!!Thanks for the advice!!I'm just soooooo confused.Everytime i contact him i feel like i'm bugging him, every time i don't contact him i worry and i feel guilty,like maybe he wants me to contact him and i don't.It's this awful cycle 😢But I realized everytime i contact him first it takes him a whole day to respond back or sometimes he doesn't respond at all and now I'd really like to hear from him first and see if he's actually serious about me.do caps initiate first if they want to talk to you and they haven't heard from you?I've told him sooo many times that i love him and miss him and recently i stopped cause i feel like he doesnt like when i get emotional and lovey dovey.I just want him to prove himself to me now.I've done enough chasing and proving.If a cap truley has feelings for you,will he do his best to not lose you?

We've been telling you for weeks to move on. He's not THAT interested. You are torching yourself by hanging on to almost nothing.

Posted by Bravolo
You're right guys!It's so hard with caps!And the weirdest thing is he never wants to talk about what's going on in his life.So secretive.

That's because he doesn't trust you yet

Posted by Bravolo

Posted by Pidelight

Posted by 88
oh, that is right. I ADMIRE you so much Pidelight.

I wish I was as patient and understanding as you are,. I like to fire people out of my life quick.. lol

From one fellow Piscean to another...I admire you too! And I wasn't always this patient and understanding. LOL Believe me when I say that I have had choice words for my Cap and kicked him to the curb when I had enough of the head games. But that was many many years ago. He got with my program so of course all is good. Hahaha

It's awful how we have to change for them 😢 Like we have to act a certain way and pretend we don't have emotions because they don't like emotion .ugh they're soooo emotionally draining 😢

click to expand

Caps don't want you to change who you are. We respect people for being themselves. If we sense you're not being yourself, we see right through it and it takes longer to get into that inner circle, if ever, and we won't trust you because you can't trust people who are (for a lack of better words) pretenders. We would read you as there is something off and then we will maintain the shields.

The deal with emotions is it's okay to have them, just control them and don't get all OVER emotional because over emotional makes us uncomfortable.

I said we, but I can only speak for myself.

Posted by 88

Posted by Bravolo
My cap hasn't initiated contact in 5 days 😢 and the worst part is i see him writing on his friends walls and socializing with his friends on fb and can't even write me a hello.idk why he's acting this way. it really hurts 😢

awe, re-read pidelight's post. she gives good advice there.

It is very hard to give any kind of advice when we don't know the other person's intentions.
keep him off your mind and you do the same, if he contacts you fine, if he doesn't fine too.

I have been there before, and I never want to be in that position again, that is why as soon as I see a man act like that, I'm gone. poof there are tons of men who would love to take us out and treat us very special.

Do not pause your world just because of him, go on out with friends and if a good man comes along who is not going to act the way this one does, go for it.

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+1

Posted by Bravolo

Posted by FoxGlove
Hmmmm... this may be one of the infamous Cap 'tests.' Have you initiated any contact at all? If not, do something small, like poke him on fb or something -- or text him something flirty (not too serious) and see what happens. He might be wondering if you really like him or if he was bugging you.

I always contact him first and he knows i love him and miss him,cause i tell him all the time.I'm just tired of initiating cause when i do he doesn't seem to want to really talk :/

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Stop initiating! Stop chasing him. My guess is he wasn't all that into you in the first place. Sorry, I don't mean to hurt you. But I will be honest in order to help you.

Bravolo...every single response on here is right on the money. You just have to hear what is being said and accept that for the time being the Cap you are interested in is not on the same relationship page as you. If he were you would not be worried and wondering about where you stand in his life because he would be showing you how he feels and where you fit. You seem a bit on the insecure side which is a big red flag for any man. Caps are mostly good guys and they aren't trying to purposely hurt anyone's feelings but they also aren't trying to carry the emotional burden of someone else's baggage either. And you are only hurting yourself keeping track of his every move he makes where his friends are concerned which only shoves the knife in deeper where your lack of contact with him is concerned. I say leave it and him alone and go on with your life and possibly getting to know someone else if that is an option for you. In time, if the Cap truly does care for you and he isn't feeling under emotional pressure and expectation he will come back. Take care.

Posted by OPENEYES
Let go and truly don't care about whether or no contact is made. It's like Hercules gives them the message. haha! Every time I decide to enjoy our time apart (think of it as that because they are exhausting). I treat it like a mini vacation void of guessing what he's thinking and BAM he calls. NEVER FAILS.

+1 Exactly.