Venus conjunct pluto in synastry

I am venus leo, and his pluto(virgo)conjuct my venus. I am going through a painful attraction towards him.
His pluto conjuct my pluto, and his sun conjunct my pluto, and his mars conjuct my sun.
I have never experienced this before. I feel like fish without water if I don't see him.
I have done some research, and I have read that pluto transforms venus. This is scary, because since I saw him I grew into him. He looks very scruffy and mysterious not my type of guy, but I was mesmerized by him.
I don't know how I started to look better. I lost weight. I start listening to music. I changed my style. I can see admiration in his eyes and 2 years have been bitter and sweet. I have gone back to school to impress him with my activities.
Can somebody tell me is this obsession only on my side. I know he is into me I don't know how intense his feelings are.
If he is not interested then my venus in leo will kick in, and I will try to walk away...
I thought the attraction is coming from his venus in scorpio and my venus leo, but this pluto thing is scary...
Please someone explain..how does pluto feel in this situation, and what does transformation mean..