Asked for a Sign...Is this it?

Okay, I have been dating this guys for over a year. But only recently we got to a point where we are a "couple". I still had concerns over some of his actions in the past even though he has been trustworthy lately, so I asked the powers that be to give me a sign if he had another main woman or wife. I tend to blind myself to these things, so I asked for it to be VERY clear.

Last night I had a dream that I was getting dropped off at my house by a group of friends. When I got to my apt., I looked out of the window and saw him in the car with another girl. I didn't really see what she looked like up-close, but she wore all red. He kissed her and she got out of the car...it was not a deep tongue kiss, just a bit more than a peck on the lips. She got out, but the thing was she also lived in my apt. complex. This was not the current one I live in, but one from before.

My question is, do you think this could possibly be the sign I was asking for, or is my subconscious playing tricks on me. Any interpretations will help and if you need more info, ask b/c I remember this dream vividly.

Thanks!

Cancerlady

Cancerlady...

You've answered to yourself clearly about this dream.

If you see him kissing another woman means you don?t trust him what so ever (you try.. but actually you don?t trust him).

On the other hand? you (in your sub consciousness) wanted to get rid of him? because he is too much "weight" in your life than you can handle and you wanted to rejecting him actually.

See that dream as sign of your feeling about him? not a warning sign as he may cheating on you.

Thanks QBone!

Well that makes sense because I totally have feelings that I cannot handle how sporadic the work he does as far as him travelling. On the other hand, I always quit. It seems as if I can't keep a relationship with a guy because as soon as he does something I don't like, I'm ready to bail.

Trust is everything, and I can't argue that I don't REALLY trust him. So what do I do? He hasn't "done" anything to me specifically because he is perfect when he is here...but sometimes I want to find someone who will be there for me in a more stable manner. I feel like this type of connection we have, you don't find every day and who am I to tell him what to do for a living? Should I listen to my dream or to my heart? If he's not really cheating...is it my fault for having trust issues? I am so confused!

Cancerlady

You are not alone with this kind of problem...anyone takes matter in heart and feeling are subjected to this, I am not the type that use feelings, so I maybe a wrong one to say anything about it.

If I were you I would listen to the brain and reasons, not the heart and feelings, as far as I can see in your posts you always will be a runner and the first one who bails out.. why don?t you stop running and stay for a change, what do you going to lose..?? if you don?t stand and fight for what you love or believe, then how can you expect it from your partner then..??

Only two hands make a clap in (special and synchronised manner), if one hand fails there will be no claps.!

To trusting someone you need to trust yourself first.. now.. I am not criticising you or anyone else in this situation, we all have our hard times more or less, what I am trying to say is that "safe way" is "coward's way" especially in relationship with opposite gender, if you want to get what you are after you need to "expose" some or more of "you" and build your personalities around it, as I've mention it.. What do you going to lose.?? World is full of hot rides and splendid experiences and opportunities, you get nowhere when you don?t try.

WOW QBone...

You so have a point...I guess I never really considered myself a runner, but in actuality I guess I am. I guess I should figure out what I am running from.

I like the clapping analogy...

Do you know anything about recurring dreams? I keep having a dream that I am crossing a bridge with holes in it and it is very unstable. I am so terrified of this bridge that I can feel my heart race in my sleep. Sometimes I cross it but most times I stop in the middle and panic before do and sometimes I don't cross at all. WHat do you think it means?

Cancerlady

Its all about the trust for the way" who you really are"...now.. I don?t know who you are.. but something telling me that you deeply need to trust yourself.

How or when??.!! its depends on you and your life time line.

Don?t ask me how? you figure it out for yourself?.! If you are willing to know this.

You are running from "yourself" lady... you blame left and right for what seems to be a cause, not knowing—?.it is YOU.

Ease up on yourself and let life and feelings do their stuff.

Again—??

What you are gonna lose..??

Truthfully?

Yeah, I am...Which is why I think I have only been in two my whole life.(8 months each) I don't know HOW to overcome this though...sometimes I feel so unworthy of love that I can't possibly imagine why anyone would want me. I know I have issues and I pretty much know what they are...I just don't know HOW to change them.

As far as relationships, I never know how much I am supposed to take. Most times like I said, if they do something stupid...I am like "Whatever, you're outta there!" I never give them a chance because I don't know how far is too far. Then I give & give & give to the point where I feel empty because I usually pick people who just take & take & take. Also, I was held on a string for two years by someone I still love to this day (but realize it will never be)...so that probably didn't help with this new relationship.

QBone, as far as what I have to lose...I don't want to waste another two or three years pining after some guys who is going to choose someone else in the end or doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me. I know it's the old "I don't want to get hurt" line...but I guess that's what it boils down too. My wound from the guy who held me on a string is still mighty fresh...BUT! I am going to try to stick it out. Anyone who I can have a wonderful enlightening, intelligent but entertaining conversation with for eight hours straight with no tv, radio, or outside influences has got to at least be worth my effort.

Cancerlady

Cancerlady

"QBone, as far as what I have to lose...I don't want to waste another two or three years pining after some guys who is going to choose someone else in the end or doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me".



You need a big revolutionary change in your "whole life philosophies" lady, but I guess.. its because of your age?. You know? what you want is not the "reality".. it is a "wish", like wishes from satanclause?.err.. Santaclause ?..no such a thing in reality.

To get your "personal life up".. you need to fight.. accept? lose? fight? accept.. fight? lose.. and so on..

If you run from a situation? then it will hit back and will hunt you again? and again? as long as you run from it?.it will hit and hit—?.!

STAY AND FIGHT— FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND INTED TO KEEP IT!

You haven?t met the right one yet, but?.. what will you do if you find the "right one" in other side of the planet.??

GIVE UP..??

What ever you do?. You are crazy..!!

hi cancerlady,

my sister is a cancer, and if star signs r anything to go by, she is also very volnerable and sensitive, but in it lies her strength, not weekness. Her sensitivity gives me hope that we all might one day 'think' with our hearts not otherwise, cause there is where all the answers lie, in our core.
For your 'string' guy, I had one for four years, we haven't even slept together only kissed, but have I ever felt someones presence more than his? no, or have I ever been more scared than to immagine that one day I could be with him or lose him, it felt that all the fears in the world were with me. And, very similar to your story, we r not together and as far as I can see will not be together, but I'd like to believe that I learned a lot about myself during that time.
In short I wanted to tell u that when it comes to love matters there is no logic of a manual u can use. But we can learn how to get rid of the past that follows us like a shadow, and if it is there to catch us it will anyway. Keep dreaming, it's the side of u that knows better...🙂

Q-Bone

I don't deny that I like to live in a fantasy world...It's so much more pleasant there! 🙂 I see what you mean about fighting though...that's something I'm working on.

WELCOME NIKOLINA!

I feel honored that your first post was giving me advice. Have fun here! I'm addicted I think. Thanks for your input!

Cancerlady

Cancerlady.. you have no reason to be insecure.

From your posts here, you're open, honest and warm, the "right" guy will realize that.

When I'm taking to time to date, I would say, I'm only wasting time on a relationship if, at the end of it, I haven't learned anything- or even worse, I didn't enjoy myself. Additionally- at the risk of sounding "soft and pink", my heart tells me when I've had enough. If the emotional pull is not the same- I'll feel myself natually letting go.

So chick.. I said all that to say, you're young, you're hot- DO IT and don't sweat it. Don't read so much into this dream- let your waking life be your guide.

Maybe it will help if you take time out, and really idenifying what you need to make a relationship work for you helps-- what do you need for trust? What do you need to feel secure?

I am by no means a relationship expert, but at the very least, I've learned that if f-UP enough, I'll eventually stumble over the love worth having. However, if I GIVE UP- then the only thing I'll have waiting for me at home is a thin-crust domino's pizza.

(hmmmmm PiZzA)

Thanks SeizetheDay!

Once again, you are right....I am making this WAY too complicated.

I like Papa John's Pizza though. The Chicken, Spinach, Tomato, Alfredo is the BEST!

🙂 Cancerlady

CL,

Pregnant dreams, hun! You are worried about the future and everything else, and i remember pregnant dreams being very intense. This is a mothers worry, about herself with the dad. I wouldn't think much more of it, unless you really are paranoid about him cheating.

Worst case scenario: me & highschool sweetie 7 years ago - I dreamt he was cheating on me & I told my friend about the dream when i got back from a trip. I descibed the lover perfectly and the cheating without ever meeting the chic! eeeeeeek!!! BUT turns out she was a cool chick unknowing of me at all! damn ass*hole!

hmmmmmmmmmmm I think I'm going to be a lesbien, thinking about it...

but seriously, dreams are just worries MOST of the time. Talk to your man.