Subconscious of the insane aka me

I used to have really bizarre dreams that were strange or morbid...even a little terrifying.

A prime example would be...I don't remember WHEN this dream occurred but it was definitely within the last 5 years, but I had a dream that everything was pitch black. The only thing I could see was this skeletal creature in front of me just smiling. I couldn't move or chose to not move...I don't really know which, but I made no attempts to run as the creature slowly lifted my arms and then smiled as it just started snapping and breaking my bones. My arms were literally twisted and broken and I just stood there, taking it with no emotional response, cries for help or even an attempt to escape. That dream only happened a couple times, but still was pretty screwed up let's be real. Who tf dreams about shit like that. I was just thinking about it the other day and was like "damn I forgot about that dream!" Screwed up I'm telling you. I am low key insane. My subconscious says it all even if my chart doesn't. Lmao.

When I was a little girl. Somewhere between 3 and 6..I'd have this recurring dream where I was using the bathroom and all of a sudden I felt my insides turning. I then realized that I wasn't human at all. I was made out of machinery with the wheels turning inside of me. All nuts and bolts and other things. Everything was tight. I felt nothing...no emotions, and I was confused. Then I would look up and my mother would walk in the room, kneel down and hand me a balloon and say "it's okay", pat me on the shoulder and then I'd ask "Am I dead? Why am I a robot?" and she would just stare at me...almost like pity, and then she would walk away with no response. Then I would realize I'm not even alive at all. That I was just a robot. Then I'd wake up.

Recently I've been dreaming about someone trying to kill me and my family. Luckily by sheer dumb luck we manage to get away, but a lot of people die in the process. I try to help them, but it is as though they are deaf to my instruction or guidance. I watch them die and it hurts. I realize I am the reason all of mankind is dying, and it ultimately makes me need to choose between sacrificing myself or letting everyone else suffer and die because of me. I think about all of the broken families that I've created and realize if I had just died, no one else would've had to. It's been the same dream every couple days recently...for maybe a week? Basically there is always weird death themes just in different circumstances. Strange.

Overall I am content with life and not dismayed in any way. I have no idea what it's stemming from. The only thing that I am "dismayed" about is maybe my lack of love life but even then I am pretty good at staying positive and brushing it aside. I haven't looked too far into dreams, but it's weird to notice the odd patterns.


Someone posted about the unluckiest placements or something once. One was the Virgo moon person who feels robotic. I have a Virgo moon, and I find it ironic that when I was only 3-6 years old I would have that recurring dream about being a robot. Oh the irony of everything as it aligns throughout life.

How much guilt are you harboring, irl?


(One doesn't have to be guilty of anything to *feel* guilty... I don't mean that

as an accusation.)

Posted by Montgomery
How much guilt are you harboring, irl?


(One doesn't have to be guilty of anything to *feel* guilty... I don't mean that

as an accusation.)

that's a good question. a couple people have called me out for being closed off and distant lately, but I've been feeling guilty about it. I don't mean to, but I've been on my own time. other than that I don't feel too guilty. that's the only thing I can think of. I do feel terrible for it

' ... and it ultimately makes me need to choose between sacrificing myself or letting everyone else suffer and die because of me. I think about all of the broken families that I've created and realize if I had just died, no one else would've had to. '


That ^^ lines up nicely.

If you would just do what they want, then they would be fine, right?

You wouldn't be, obviously... 😛


Nice and dramatic, but they're dreams-- they're always pretty weird.

Mine are, anyway.

🙂

The nuts and bolts dream is sad